I want to date a white boy!(Do they like black girls?)

[ghost69]

So this doesn't apply to you because you are Asian. This is was MY father. They ARE MY grandfathers, brothers, and cousins, uncles, etc! If you weren' black then no you wouldn't have caught it/ She has made it an issue because she's saying that her black men are less than white men, it is touchy and very offensive and she should have been careful about how and what she stated!

 

she is saying her experience with dating a black man hasn't been pleasant. not that a white guy is any better. she just said at this time she is attracted to white guys. i don't see where you got that.

 

just like i used to be into blondes. preferences change.

 

and again, this is so off base now though. the thread was how to approach a white guy as she has never done it before. i say it's the same as any other guy.

[FreedomRing]

I'm pretty sure she was being silly.

 

I certainly hope so..although I'd like her confirmation on that..

[FreedomRing]

i don't think arguing about this race stuff is gonna get anyone anywhere.... anyway i would love to date a black girl... but never have. probably because there really aren't any around here. but i find a lot of them really attractive. i think its hard for a lot of white guys to initiate with black girls. i would personally be a little bit intimidated. i have always felt for some reason that black girls tended not to be interested in white guys. so i think if you like a white guy, you might want to try being a bit more forward than you usually would be.

 

I believe this to be true....I have heard similar statements confessed to me from white guys and their perception of black women..

[lady00]

i would personally be a little bit intimidated. i have always felt for some reason that black girls tended not to be interested in white guys.

 

I have heard both of these before (your points about intimidation and lack of attraction). I wonder how much of the attraction part is perception and how much of it is reality though. I mean, perhaps some white guys believe that black girls will not be interested in them whereas the reality may be that some will, some won't...that is my guess anyway. I think it goes down to the individual level.

[bigthings46]

I am a white man and I have a crazy thing for black women. I would date one in a second. Some people might have a prob with it but I sure don't. A girl with a lil hood in her turns me on big time.

 

I dream of the girl in this video. You get a good look at her at about 1 minute. Man is she fly.

[sweetdslollipop]

^^^

lol, wow, being black doesn't automatically make you hood.

[bigthings46]

I never said it made you hood, just said I was attracted to girls with a lil hood in em.

[Batya33]

I agree with the poster who suggested that she look more into why she is generalizing about an entire race based on a bad experience - and with Lady00 who suggested- very insightfully - that perhaps this is a sign that she is not ready to date because of this somewhat traumatizing experience. Very helpful!

 

I always cringe a little when I hear about someone wanting to date someone of a particular race because they belong to that race - I don't know that I would want someone to date me based on some fascination with my race in general - that wouldn't make me feel like I was being treated as an individual or as a special person in his life on an individual basis.

 

I also find it veering a bit toward having some sort of fetish - like when I have heard men who are not Asian say that they are "into" "asian women" as if they are all alike. i can see where someone who is Asian or African American might want to date someone from his or her same race or background on the basis of shared values, compatible backgrounds, etc. Nothing wrong with having a fetish as long as it's out in the open early on in the dating process.

 

I say - if you are fascinated with people from a particular race, religion, whatever, why not do some research into that race or culture - take a course perhaps to learn more - that might be a better way to feed the fascination rather than just picking one person to date who happens to be from that race.

 

Also to the OP - I can see where a White man might have difficulty with your stated views on Black men. He might be related to or close with people who are Black and might have difficulty dealing with your negative generalizations.

[NotSoPlainJane]

Thanks for your advice.

You hit it on the money! I'm black and of course I'm not racist-I have a many bad experiences with black men-this one was just the last straw. Really, I just want to try someone who is different, change it up, ya know?

I'm glad that you understand what I'm saying...i didn't think people would be calling me racist!if they knew me, they'd know that would be so crazy!

[NotSoPlainJane]

No, I'm for real! I want advice on how white guys feels about black girls...that's all

But I will confirm that I'm not racist, THAT is really silly! But I would just to like dating white men bcuz ive always dated black guys and now im attracted to white guys more, especially since the balck guys have been really disappointing. that doesnt make me racist, just tired of the same kind of people ive been dating, lol!

[Batya33]

Yes but why do you presume that other than different colored skin, dating a White person will be a different experience (other than looking at someone with fairer skin) than dating a Black person? since you assume it will be different, I assume you assume that because you think that Black people and White people have differences beyond skin color. What are those differences?

[NotSoPlainJane]

I apologize if I offended you, but I'm just really hurt and I've only been hurt by black men and I feel like I need to change who I date because I'm not having very good experiences with black men. I'm just saying in my experience, black men are nnot very nice (to put it nicely). And I don't know how many times I've heard and seen black men not dating black girls so why can't I date a white man? that doesn't make me racist, i hope u understand that. peace

[NotSoPlainJane]

Yes but why do you presume that other than different colored skin, dating a White person will be a different experience (other than looking at someone with fairer skin) than dating a Black person? since you assume it will be different, I assume you assume that because you think that Black people and White people have differences beyond skin color. What are those differences?

That's what I want to find out!

[NotSoPlainJane]

Can you fill me in on the rules of dating a black guy? ;-) I'm seeing one now, and have never dated a black guy before.

Well..

depends on the TYPE of balck guy you are dating, and I've dated all kinds,gurl

If he the quiet, bookworm black guy, you got it easy if you are like that. He will like that you are smart and don't like to go out all the time and he is probably really mature

If he's like straigh hood, like he's got bullet wounds,( i'm serious) you gotta be more asertive and let him know he can't tell you what to do cuz they are used to pulling that ish on other girls

If he's really trendy, materialistic, likes to party and go out, do not be the one calling him all the time- let him call you and don't take him seriously unless he takes it to that level; otherwise, he will cheat on you.

DISCLAIMER: this is based on my experiences and not all black guys are the same and fit perfectly in these categories. Hopefully, this will give you an idea about what to expect

[Batya33]

Why do you presume that you will "find out" by dating a few White people. Do you think that you will "find out" differences that are true of all White people? I'm still baffled as to why you would think that dating a White man would be any different from dating a Black man and that thereforeeee you're going to target who you date based on skin color.

 

Would you like it if a man dated you because "I dated White women and had bad experiences so I want to date you because you have black skin."

[Jess...]

I'm still baffled as to why you would think that dating a White man would be any different from dating a Black man..

 

This baffles me too.

 

Fair enough the OP has had bad experiences with Black men. I understand that. But hey - I've had bad experiences with White men. (I'm white) It doesn't matter if they are Black or White (sounds like Michael Jackson ) but you have to realise that chances are, you're going to have bad experiences with any colour.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

oh honey, i think you should date anyone you want, but with the recognition that there are good ones and bad ones of every race, size, shape, nationality, etc. etc.

 

plenty of white women here have dated a string of white men who are so unworthy that they want to give up men ENTIRELY, not just switch races. so a white guy is not the answer to finding love. finding a good guy is the answer to finding love.

 

the trick is to really QUICKLY get rid of any guy who disrespects you or treats you badly... then on to the next guy. it only takes ONE good guy to solve your problem. lots of rotten apples out there, regardless of the color of the skin, and lots of sweet ones too, but you just have to keep looking and tossing out the bad apples til you find a sweet one.

[CharlesF]

I'm a white guy and I find all races of women attractive. I dated a black girl once, but she was overly religious so it didn't work out.

[coed_bunny]

NotSoPlainJane,

 

Hi there! I think (hope) I can help you out with this one. I have dated both black and white guys. Let me tell you, there are plenty of white guys that like black girls. There are some that aren't really comfortable with it though, hence will not be much fun to hang out with in public and there are those that truly just want to be around you. You really just have to get to know them and their personality. It's just like dating a black guy, you have to feel them out to get to know the "rules". Don't give up on black men, I too have been frustrated with hip-hop videos spoiling society and making it hard to find a black man who doesn't want to emulate that fantasy lifestyle, but there are good black men. Please don't get me wrong I am not a hater, I do like hip-hop and I'm not putting all the blame on videos. Just saying they don't help. Bottom line there are good black men, bad black men, good white men and bad white men. Don't put any man on a petistle above any other. PM me anytime..I can tell you stories!! lol

 

 

OH and as far as how to approach them, just do you! You've already got that working for you, so if he's into black girls (more importantly just you as a person), you'll be able to tell just being yourself.

[coed_bunny]

Yes but why do you presume that other than different colored skin, dating a White person will be a different experience (other than looking at someone with fairer skin) than dating a Black person? since you assume it will be different, I assume you assume that because you think that Black people and White people have differences beyond skin color. What are those differences?

 

You know what happens when you assume? hahaha I'm sorry that totally isn't helpful to the thread, but I had to do it. It's funny and I'm corny!!

[lady00]

the trick is to really QUICKLY get rid of any guy who disrespects you or treats you badly... then on to the next guy.

 

I couldn't agree more. OP: I am worried that you have become so frustrated because you stay too long in relationships with guys who don't treat you well, you become attached and it affects your self-esteem. Am I off base here? Next time you see a red flag, dump the guy. Don't wait around hoping that he will change. I don't know if you've done this in the past, just guessing due to your level of frustration.

[afrodite79]

It just sounds like you've just run cross some major jerks. Take it from a black woman who's dated a few crappy white guys, white men are not any different than black or any other race of men. There are A-holes in every race. I can understand your frustration. I've had only bad experiences with relationships so far and it made me very angry and afraid of men. It's taken me a long time and well over a year of being single to start to get over that. It takes a while to heal after being mistreated. Don't dismiss all black men for what a few bad apples did. If you have any black male friends or family members who are good men look at them as examples of black men. Spending some time single and letting yourself heal is a good idea.

 

Don't date white men just because you feel frustrated with the black men you've dated. No one wants to be someone's "plan B" or an experiment. If you want to date a white guy because you're attracted to them, go ahead. There are plenty of them that would like to date a nice woman of any race. Someone mentioned that some might not approach black women because they're afraid we're not interested. If you meet a guy you like, get to know him, ask him out or hint that you are interested in him. There aren't any specific "how to date a white guy" rules.

[afrodite79]

talk to a white guy the same as you would talk to any other man.

 

i don't see how all the black posters are offended. she said its her opinion based on her experience. don't bash her thoughts and ideas.

 

I guess you can't see why the black posters are offended because you aren't black. Just like I couldn't completely understand certain things that offend men because I'm a woman. Yes her experiences with the men she dated are real but the way those men treat women aren't the way all black men treat women. Her opinion is skewed by the pain she endured in relationships with those men. I agree that bashing her isn't the right way to help her get over her pain. I think just letting her know that her view of black men (and white men) isn't correct and to give her advice on how to heal is a better way to approach her problem.

[Tallisman]

Some people will shy away from dating (for a while) when they get hurt in a relationship, others can't wait to jump into another. People's reaction to bad relationship runs the gamut

 

Regardless of her race, her reaction is not helpful dating/race relation.

 

Lets take her reaction to its logical conclusion. What will she do when the white guy hurts her? try other races ofcourse? and then what after that? forswear dating/relationship with the male gender?

[Luke Skywalker]

My mom is black and feels the same way about black men. All of them have been losers in her experience, even Christian black men. They don't know how to treat women and they like to go with white women and go up the ladder.

 

This is why she dated a white man that knew how to treat her well and respect her and also had some money of his own and has status in society. Let's face it, most black men have the lowest status, don't have good jobs to support a family and start beating up their wives because of their own inferiority complex. My mom says her dad used to hate her allot because she looked like him and was very black - he had an inferiorty complex, drank rum and treated her badly because he came from that slave mentality.

 

Thus, my mom married a white man. Is my mom racist for her decision? Who cares, I'm here now, and my own existence necessitates that she made the right decision. I'm glad I'm born into this family, rather than some poor family in Haity that makes cookies out of mud because they cant afford to buy food.

 

So, if my mom feels that way, the OP is right, go with a white nice guy one time that knows how to treat you right, pays your way, and is more likely to think with their bigger head than their little one. You have desperate white guys who cant get white women out there and will settle for a black woman like my father did, so I'm sure there is a white guy out there for you. Just make sure he isn't out just to get off on some ghetto booty and is sincere.