I want to date a white boy!(Do they like black girls?)

[rocio]

I agree with ghost69 - the rules of dating are pretty universal. Make eye contact, flirt, smile... I don't know where you are but around here, the white boys don't like a golddigger. They like an independent girl who refuses to let a guy buy her a drink. I'm sure you'll find yourself a nice white boy to date. I'm sure I'm going to get beat out of here with sticks, but from my experience, cheating and 2-timing seems to be more acceptable amongs black guys than white guys. (Not necessarily that black guys would cheat more, but if the white guys I know where cheating, they'd be too ashamed to tell their own friends. Whereas the black guy will tell all his friends and they'll laugh about it.)

 

Ok, I'm leaving now before I get called a racist.

[Alex Kidd]

Sorry, some black men do have morals. Cheating is no more acceptable for some, than others. Get off your high horse.

[rocio]

Sorry, some black men do have morals. Cheating is no more acceptable for some, than others. Get off your high horse.

 

I know many black men with morals. And many white men with none. It was just an observation.

[richmonder80]

Wow, going over heads a little?

 

She prefers white men over black men at this time...she may change her views later in life, who knows...you are overreacting.

 

By the way "our balck men" is not my fathers, granddads, sons, brothers, uncles, and cousins, husband and also the fathers of our youths. Im asian

 

But your point is well taken. I think Alex is turning this into a racial issue, which it never was.

[Alex Kidd]

I know many black men with morals. And many white men with none. It was just an observation.

 

Despite your observation, you seem to think that black guys find it cool and even celebrate the fact that they have cheated and disrespected their gfs, by declaring this openly, while a white guy would not? This is a fallacy on both counts.

[Alex Kidd]

Wow, going over heads a little?

 

She prefers white men over black men at this time...she may change her views later in life, who knows...you are overreacting.

 

By the way "our balck men" is not my fathers, granddads, sons, brothers, uncles, and cousins, husband and also the fathers of our youths. Im asian

 

But your point is well taken. I think Alex is turning this into a racial issue, which it never was.

 

Sorry I'm not. I made a point. And if I'm not mistaken I have not mentioned the word racist once. Excuse me but other people have made comments. So please don't point the finger. Aside: if this is not racial issue, why do the adjectives "black" and "white" litter the OPs initial entry?

[rocio]

Despite your observation, you seem to think that black guys find it cool and even celebrate the fact that they have cheated and disrespected their gfs, by declaring this openly, while a white guy would not? This is a fallacy on both counts.

 

Many of the ones I've known, yes. I've also been told by a black girl that all men cheat and you just have to expect it. I've never heard anything like that from a white girl.

 

I dunno, maybe it's just the ones I know..

[Alex Kidd]

Many of the ones I've known, yes. I've also been told by a black girl that all men cheat and you just have to expect it. I've never heard anything like that from a white girl.

 

I dunno, maybe it's just the ones I know..

 

So you have a sample size of one for black women's opinions, and the black guys you know. And yet you can draw conclusions on a whole race? I find this fascinating. Truly. Extrapolation or what?

[rocio]

So you have a sample size of one for black women's opinions, and the black guys you know. And yet you can draw conclusions on a whole race? I find this fascinating. Truly. Extrapolation or what?

 

I didn't claim to draw conclusions on a whole race. I simply stated what I seemed to observe based on my experiences. I think that color of skin is just that - pigment, no more and no less.

 

However, there are cultural differences that can affect the way some men or women approach dating and other experiences. For instance, because of the culture in Africa where monogamy was not historically expected of men, or perhaps due to young people taking too seriously the lyrics of the music they listen to, things like that can affect the overall culture and societal expectations of people.

[ghost69]

I know what the thread is about. I'm asking you about your outlandish comment above...I don't get it?

 

outlandish comment? it means exactly how it's written. treat a white guy how you would treat any other man. there is not difference.

[ghost69]

this thread has taken a wrong turn. narrow-minded people are starting to post on here. the OP said she isn't into black guys at this time. she said based on her experience this is how she views black guys. absolutely nothing wrong with that. she is into white guys at this time. she wants to know how to approach one differently than a black guy.

 

my answer: there is no difference. hit on a man the same as you would regardless of race or creed.

 

let's get back on track people.

[Alex Kidd]

outlandish comment? it means exactly how it's written. treat a white guy how you would treat any other man. there is not difference.

 

Are you suggesting I treat a white guy as I would any other man or the OP?

[amtjrtcet]

Trust me, its not the color of the man that makes him good or bad. TRUST ME. I've dated many different races, nationalities, etc. They all had their good points, but in the end ALL turned out to be rats.

 

Good men are like good women....hard to find. But they do exist in every color.

 

If a white boy is what you want then go for it. I think interracial couples are a beautiful thing. But just don't think that they're gonna be better then black men b/c of the color of their skin.

[ghost69]

Are you suggesting I treat a white guy as I would any other man or the OP?

 

you and the OP. you treat different races differently? if so, you might want to look at yourself too.

[amtjrtcet]

Why are you offended? or think this is offensive? Do you go back to doing things that injures you or damages you? NO This is no different. She had a bad experience with a black guy so she wants to stay away from them. That is her choice. This is no different than refusing to date a smoker. It is just her preference.

 

You've got to be kidding me?!!!

[amtjrtcet]

I didn't claim to draw conclusions on a whole race. I simply stated what I seemed to observe based on my experiences. I think that color of skin is just that - pigment, no more and no less.

 

However, there are cultural differences that can affect the way some men or women approach dating and other experiences. For instance, because of the culture in Africa where monogamy was not historically expected of men, or perhaps due to young people taking too seriously the lyrics of the music they listen to, things like that can affect the overall culture and societal expectations of people.

 

Exactly. I don't understand people that see skin color as anything more.

[Alex Kidd]

you and the OP. you treat different races differently? if so, you might want to look at yourself too.

 

You're going off track if you're suggesting I behave differently based on race.

[ghost69]

You're going off track if you're suggesting I behave differently based on race.

 

you're the one that keeps asking what my statement had to do with the thread. then you are bashing the OP saying that her generality of black men is wrong. it's her experience. when she has a better experience i'm sure she will change her mind. right now, a black guy isn't what she is into. then you come in here telling the OP 'i resent that' about black guys blah blah blah. sure there are great black guys out there. i don't think she meant that at all. she just has a change of interest at this point.

 

this my last post to you on this, but i'm sure you are going to ramble on.

[PixelPusher]

Lately, I have been very attracted to white boys. I have never dated one before, and there's one I like in particular, but I don't know how to go about it. I've always dated black or brown men, who have complete different personalities from white men- in my experience.

My last boyfriend, who was the first man I ever loved, dumped me in December, close to my birthday. Everytime I see a black man, I want to run the other way because they remind me of how cruel theycan be. Now, I find myself looking at men who are completey opposite looking- white men.

Thing is, I know the "rules" when it comes to dealing with black guys, but white guys personalities are soooo different. How do I go about approaching one? Any advice would be appreciated.

 

I'm quoting the OP's post and highlighted the part I think is causing the problem. I completely see where Alex and KAT are coming from. While I don't think the OP's intent was racist (it's not) IT IS a very blatant generalization about all black men. If I were a black person, I'd be offended at the generalization as well. It is bordering on racism, albeit completely unintentionally. She didn't say "... how cruel SOME of them can be." She said: "... how cruel THEY can be." Which is throwing them all together as one big, terrible, woman-terrorizing group.

 

So the whole point of this is: SOME black men treat women badly, just as SOME white men, asian men, indian men, etc, etc, etc. do. I understand that she has been burned most recently by a black man... hence she is turned off by them as a whole. That's not to say they're all bad... it's jsut where she is at. My Xwife was hispanic and I have to admit that I was not attracted to ANY hispanic women after my divorce. I happen to love women of ALL colors ( ) but at the time "they" reminded me too much of my pain. It wasn't a race issue at all.

 

So that being said: To the OP... yes, date a white guy! There IS racism out there and you might encounter it. But I can tell you that if I were single and some smokin' hot black woman was attracted to me, you bet that I'd pursue it! But just don't date white men ONLY because you were burned by some jerk who HAPPENED to be black.

 

Jerks come in all colors, just like good people come in all colors.

[lady00]

Well, I will say, I think it does matter that the OP has been turned of black guys in particular. And here's why. I will use examples from my life. I have had bad relationships and experiences with guys from particular countries and of particular races and it turned me off guys from those races and countries for some time. While I am over that now and would give any guy a chance if there is chemistry, I realize that when I was shunning certain races and national origins, it was because I was traumatized. I wasn't ready to date yet. I needed time to heal and recover from these experiences and my irrational reactions to them in terms of making generalizations.

 

I suggest this to the OP: maybe, just maybe, you are not ready to date again yet? Maybe your reaction to seeing a black man is indicative that you still need time to heal from the pain of your breakup. I think in that regard, the race issue is important, if it means that you still need to time heal.

 

That said, I myself am often not attracted to white men, generally speaking (I'm realize this because I am not attracted to the the ones that my friends or Hollywood find attractive), so I think for me, that is just a preference. I have never had a traumatic experience with a white guy and I have never dated a white guy so I don't think there is a particular reason why I am usually not attracted to white men...although I sometimes am. I don't see anything wrong with preferences like this.

 

To answer the other question: some white men are attracted to some black girls. Some of my friends are in relationships where the girl is black and the guy is white. I think this is increasingly happening because I read somewhere that there are more and more mixed black/white children being born, so clearly their parents are attracted to each other. I think there is no way to generalize...it totally depends on the individuals involved and on the chemistry of their relationship.

[FreedomRing]

I'm a black guy and I find this highly offensive. I wonder what will happen if you have a bad experience with a white guy. Will your view of them be tainted as well? You're reducing your chances of finding happiness with such warped and skewed generalisations. I'm not knocking your preferences, but basing your selection on one bad experience is not logical. ANYONE can treat you badly, independent of race.

 

I agree with Alex on this...I find it offensive as well, not just because I'm an African American woman, but because she's generalizing and very much stereotyping a race due to a couple of bad experiences...

[FreedomRing]

Can you fill me in on the rules of dating a black guy? ;-) I'm seeing one now, and have never dated a black guy before.

 

 

Hey love...this kinda rubs me the wrong way as well....what do you mean by "the rules of dating a black guy"? What makes you think the "rules" would be any different then any other man you might date???

 

I'm actually dating a white guy at the moment and I'm black, but it never occurred to me in the least to switch up my dating "rules/tactics"...(for the record, he is a White guy who exclusively dates Black women)

[KAT MOMMY]

Wow, going over heads a little?

 

She prefers white men over black men at this time...she may change her views later in life, who knows...you are overreacting.

 

By the way "our balck men" is not my fathers, granddads, sons, brothers, uncles, and cousins, husband and also the fathers of our youths. Im asian

 

But your point is well taken. I think Alex is turning this into a racial issue, which it never was.

 

 

So this doesn't apply to you because you are Asian. This is was MY father. They ARE MY grandfathers, brothers, and cousins, uncles, etc! If you weren' black then no you wouldn't have caught it/ She has made it an issue because she's saying that her black men are less than white men, it is touchy and very offensive and she should have been careful about how and what she stated!

[amtjrtcet]

Hey love...this kinda rubs me the wrong way as well....what do you mean by "the rules of dating a black guy"? What makes you think the "rules" would be any different then any other man you might date???

 

I'm actually dating a white guy at the moment and I'm black, but it never occurred to me in the least to switch up my dating "rules/tactics"...(for the record, he is a White guy who exclusively dates Black women)

 

I'm pretty sure she was being silly.

[watupgangsta]

i don't think arguing about this race stuff is gonna get anyone anywhere.... anyway i would love to date a black girl... but never have. probably because there really aren't any around here. but i find a lot of them really attractive. i think its hard for a lot of white guys to initiate with black girls. i would personally be a little bit intimidated. i have always felt for some reason that black girls tended not to be interested in white guys. so i think if you like a white guy, you might want to try being a bit more forward than you usually would be.