itsallgrand

I can guarantee your husband loves your fire. He just wants it in check. And I relate to that. I've had to work very hard over the years to get my more emotional reactive side under control. I was still figuring it out at your age, you aren't alone with that. I'm still firey to an extent, but it much more in my control now, so it isn't causing issues. But my spirit has always been a bit scrappy. Some people appreciate it, like my SO. But same as your situation, not when it's destructive. And that's totally fair. You are self aware and you will figure out your way ❤️

Yes! And that this approach from women is linked to hotness or beauty. It has nothing to do with that at all. It's just a toxic way to approach it all around. When I was in my 20s I had a friend who was preoccupied with her looks, other people's looks, her perception of how men reacted to her looks to a great extent. She'd make comments all the time about other women's looks, she'd do it to me sometimes too, "oh you are so lucky bc xyz" " oh all the guys see you first because x". She was pretty, but in her mind she was hotness personified. And she took everything through that perception, to the point of driving some guys away. But if you asked her, they were just intimidated. She'd say things like "all the pretty girls use x moisturizer". And that meant, if you didn't use that moisturizer, you wouldn't be pretty. This lady is selling the same kind of appeal to insecurities of people to push an idea/viewpoint/concept as fact. But it's not a fact that hot women are all like this. Not being drawn to insecurity doesn't mean you aren't pretty. Choosing to see men as some block of moral free clods doesn't make you pretty. It simply means these particular women are overly focused on what their looks can get them and so they see things through that mode of thinking. In other words, she's created a problem that doesn't exist to give a solution. Are you pretty enough to have this problem? Lol.

I don't find her argument very solid. I think some people due to a combination of personality traits/values/etc. have a tendency to take more stock in looks and filter things more through that lense. I think a lot girls and women, stunners and more regular , have the experiences especially young of coming across boorish men hustling hard at you. It's offered up on a plate early and if you don't have a sense of self or you already lean towards viewing men and women in transactional ways, you are more likely to get sucked into thinking that's the way things work end of and better use your beauty as your main asset. And how beautiful or hot you are is actually irrelevant from my observations on whether you take this turn or choose to see men and women in a more balanced way.

Years and years ago I saw his "30 days:minimum wage" and I was permanently put off by the man and his "work". It left such a bad taste in my mouth. Him and his partner could not have been more out of touch with the realities people who are not born to money live in. It was like a gross play at being poor for kicks, so detached! Bit of tangent there but it's all I can think of when he is mentioned ever since.

You sound a bit obsessed, to be honest. She's not interested. You need to stop with this before it results in you finding yourself in trouble. Keep in this delusion and someone is going to snap you out of it for you. And it will suck, it won't be with her holding you tight and telling you you are everything she's ever wanted.

Oh I'm so sorry. I hope you can enjoy the next few days and the little one is doing better. Not going to lie, it's kinda harsh that she was fine with everything being paid for but didn't jump in at any point to help. It'd be one thing if you planned the trip together and she was paying her way to chill with you all. But i can imagine that adding to the pressure for sure. I get irritated if we go on a trip or camp and someone decides to just lump it while others work! It'd be ten fold if I had a sick baby, I mean, that's just common courtesy. And working together is how you form those bonds, even if it isn't your favorite person...she opted out on that and it really sucks. Now go enjoy. Cuddle that family and pick your flowers 🙂

You aren't a diva you are a mom lol. We had lots of camping trips and such without mom, so she could drink a beer in the backyard without us for a weekend, I assume 😁 Maybe sis will help or is that a hard no?

Yay Happy Vic Day! Relaxing working on my yard and BBQing 😃

I agree with the others. This doesn't pass the sniff test.

My honest reaction? Hell no. Get the f out of here with bruising and hands around the throat etc. Not cool! People can like whatever they like consensually but this dude is an oaf and he's not paying attention to the other person in the room YOU. I don't like to hear that you are worried about him getting bored or fed up. It makes me worried for you that you are putting too much focus on pleasing him.

I think we are thinking similarly Lootie! This man is a connector type personality. Might be a good way to have opportunities to meet others you might not otherwise get much of a chance to. I'm sorry for his rudeness but there might be a bigger opportunity here.

Catfeeder said what I wanted to say but more eloquently. Exactly - people who go around saying things like "go kill yourself" to people don't have the capacity to make good choices on the regular. They are stuck at the level of a lot of children. Even a teen is expected to have grown past that level of emotional flailing for the most part.

Good for you, yoga! I'm happy for you. I don't have practical advice to give because I don't know the particulars of health care in the states. BUT. Its so awesome to see someone like you pursuing your passion and bringing so much to healthcare. There's such a great need for empathetic and skilled people in the healthcare field.

Yes. This is what he wants. It's fine if you don't want that. In fact, I'd highly suggest you NOT do that. But the writing is on the wall here. He's being clear. It's on you to decide what you want for the future and if this lines up with it. An engagement, a ring on the finger, isn't going to change that you do not want the same things.

He might simply feel he is too young to want to make that commitment, or not ready. If you want the guy who is eager to marry and have kids and secure a home, he's not it. There's lots of men out there who will marry in no time flat in their mid 20s. There are lots of people too who aren't there at that time or who like to take many years before a marriage. You are just on different time lines. There doesn't have to be anything wrong. Not everyone is so strongly marriage motivated as you.