curbie Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Ok...so it's been a loooooooong time since I've visited these forums..but I have it bookmarked. Thought I'd come here asking for advice once again! Here is my situation I just had lastnight. My girlfriend and I were having sex in her car. She was on bottom and I was on top. I was using a Trojan brand condom "climax control" kind. For those of you who don't know....that condom makes the guys penis go numb. I'm making a good assumption that it's what helps control the climax for guys. Anyways....we decided to change positions...so she tried getting on top of me....well..she couldn't get my penis inside her because my penis had gone a tad bit limp. Not all the way down...but enough to not get it in. We quit...and it was a BIG HUGE disapointment for both of us. I was VERY embarrassed. She was pretty upset about it. We got over it and just cuddled for a while in the car and held each other. Ok so what I'm wondering is....she said that it was her fault because she felt like she wasn't good looking enough...like she didn't turn me on enough for me to have a full hard on. I kept telling her that it wasn't true, because she's turned me on many times before...ie...blowjobs, physical contact with her hand, and "dry humping". So...I've never experienced my penis getting a little smaller during oral, dry humping, or physical contact...except this one time with the sex and the condom. I myself........blame the condom. Ladies.......opinions? Thoughts? Guys.....ditto..... Link to comment
EvaGina Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 it numbed your penis... of course you went limp-ish just dont use those condoms again... if you are worried about lasting, then have a masty before you go to meet her, or get her to make you cum iwth a hand job or oral, then have sex a wee while later Link to comment
musicguy Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Limp Bizkit? use a different condom...if the condom you use makes the penis go numb Link to comment
daveygravey Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 It happens, don't worry about it. Instead of sulking your girlfriend should have tried to get you hard again. Whenever that's happened to me in the past, I just go down on the girl to get myself ready again, seems to do the trick! Link to comment
DizzyDoris Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 Don't worry about it, it happens to the best of em sometimes! I'd just switch brands. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 It happens, don't worry about it. Instead of sulking your girlfriend should have tried to get you hard again. Whenever that's happened to me in the past, I just go down on the girl to get myself ready again, seems to do the trick! indeed! nothing more likely to make it into a REAL problem than getting anxiety becuase your gf is having a tanty!! Link to comment
grayday Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 try not to worry about it ,if you do it will be at the back of your mind constantly and it might happen again , just laugh it off and relax , next time will be different. Link to comment
Karhu Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 I agree with the others about the comdom, and giving yourself a little res (go down on her) till you're ready for action again. Ok so what I'm wondering is....she said that it was her fault because she felt like she wasn't good looking enough...like she didn't turn me on enough for me to have a full hard on. I kept telling her that it wasn't true, because she's turned me on many times before...ie...blowjobs, physical contact with her hand, and "dry humping". So...I've never experienced my penis getting a little smaller during oral, dry humping, or physical contact...except this one time with the sex and the condom this sounds like she has a low selfesteem. try to give her a random compliment every day, that'll make her feel a lot better about herself. then she won't be bothered by these issues. (and will also make her wilder in bed) Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 sounds like it made you too numb. and a car is not always the best place to do this.. you can get uncomfortable, or distracted by the this or that jabbing you in the back or scrunching you up. just explain it to her (and don't use those condoms again)... it can also happen sometimes for no reason, and she certainly shouldn't take it personally. talk to her about it and reassure her it was not her problem. then do something that is sure to get you both fired up, in a better location than a car next time. Link to comment
zerohalo Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 It can be difficult to just shrug off a sex-malfunction; there can be some pretty intense feelings of disappointment. Did she know you were using this desensitizing condom? I would think she would have been way more understanding if she knew your wang was numb. Link to comment
Dilemma Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 The condom could have been it, as I have tried it before and had a similar problem when changing position... However, anxiety can also be a cause... or if it's because of the change in position, maybe u weren't comfortable enough or that you lost your "heat" and needed to be turned on again... It can be really disappointing... my partner even said s-h-*-t quite loud coz of the disappointment... try to turn each other on again using foreplay and maybe you can get it back to function... Link to comment
Siriana Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 When she's not wet enough do you make a problem out of it? No When your favourite friend gets tired why it has to be a problem? This thing that happened to you is normal - it happens. Wellcome to reality sex! The only solution is taking off that horrible condom, after that her going down on you...than putting a normal one and than having sex. It becomes a problem only when you concentrate on it to much. Also why are you torturing your self and your penis with those horrible "climax control"? Come on, who had 0 problems with sex in the car?! it's just a thing that happens - having stupid condom thats horrible, being tired, being in a car. Next time young lady should forget her dissappointment and do something constructive to make you feel like a man lol ;-) Link to comment
curbie Posted April 10, 2007 Author Share Posted April 10, 2007 I agree with the others about the comdom, and giving yourself a little res (go down on her) till you're ready for action again. this sounds like she has a low selfesteem. try to give her a random compliment every day, that'll make her feel a lot better about herself. then she won't be bothered by these issues. (and will also make her wilder in bed) She does have very low self esteem. She said lastnight...."I have 0 (zero) self esteem) and that she hopes one day it will change. She's just been through a LOT with previous ex's of hers and they made her feel like crap. Plus I didn't make her feel good about a half a month ago because I said some things to her that didn't make her feel too great either. But we got over it and have gotten through it. She still plays events like that in the back of her mind...but I hope she changes that someday and knows that she is my queen and that I make her feel like she is on top of my world! Link to comment
curbie Posted April 10, 2007 Author Share Posted April 10, 2007 It can be difficult to just shrug off a sex-malfunction; there can be some pretty intense feelings of disappointment. Did she know you were using this desensitizing condom? I would think she would have been way more understanding if she knew your wang was numb. She didn't know that I was using a climax control condom .... no. Not until after I went numb and limp. She was like "Umm..ok..no more climax controll condoms. Link to comment
Shiva 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 Share Posted April 10, 2007 syrix I want your avatar love those little characters, lol Curbie, in moments like this, it could be an uncomfortable situation for the man and the woman involved, for different reasons, Women as well as men could be insecure, and in those moments we want to believe we can perform to our peak, heck the whole sexual discourse is so limited these days....but as in anything else the best solution is to be open and talk about what is going on and just how uncomfortable that makes both of you feel, it seems you both did that and she expressed to you her insecurities, and you just reassured her that the real reason was the condom, well that's great on both fronts I believe.... I would thake this opportunity to work on strengthening the bond of the relationship personally, I would either add something like, hey how about we lay here and just show each other how what's most important is that we are togheter and we are going through this as a couple, and then you could even share what you would need from your partner to feel loved and satisfied, my thought. Good luck Link to comment
rainsreign Posted April 11, 2007 Share Posted April 11, 2007 funny. i had a big crush once on a teacher of mine, after he wasn't anymore, we ended up having sex, he had one of those condoms and got limp. unfortunately it was my first contact with him and he was rubbing on me to get it up and it was horrible. anyways, it was definitely the condom... Link to comment
EvaGina Posted April 11, 2007 Share Posted April 11, 2007 funny. i had a big crush once on a teacher of mine, after he wasn't anymore, we ended up having sex, he had one of those condoms and got limp. unfortunately it was my first contact with him and he was rubbing on me to get it up and it was horrible. anyways, it was definitely the condom... LOL that cracks me up... its kinda close to home anyways... Macca loses his boner sometimes, if hes tired or scared Im not enjoying it (I can be real quiet sometimes) its not rare at all!! Link to comment
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