Seriously how does it work?

[emit_remmus]

Shouldn't getting into a relationship seem like a natural unforced thing? And why do I keep obsessing about getting into one? I wish I wouldn't think about it but then when I'm around my friends or see couples, I get jealous. Yeah, sometimes I like being single but then when I see the lovey dovey stuff I want that too.

 

I've asked plenty of girls out and gone on dates, but it just ain't workin; its either they don't feel right or they make up bs excuses on not following up with another date. It just doesn't feel right for me to go up to random girls and ask them out, and then to expect something to happen with them whom they are total strangers.

 

I did not ask out this girl I just hung out with an hour ago, even though I've known for a good while now. It didn't feel natural to do so at the time, but I almost did, except I had just suggested to do something and left it at that. I know I will see her again in the future, just not exactly when. I just left with a goodbye just like that, and part of me wanted to do something else like do the above. Part of me is angry for this, and part of me was saying now doesn't feel like the right time. Throw in the aspect of mutuality, circumstances, current feelings, theres just too much to happen without one being off it seems to make it all flow naturally.

[blender]

it usually doesn't just flow naturally with anyone, it takes someone who will have the courage to say, "I would like to take you out to dinner, is there a restaurant you really like?". If the girl says "yes", then great, if she says "no". then that's fine, at least you tried, at least you made an effort and asked her out.

 

But it's not going to "just happen naturally", nope it's best if you are interested in someone, just ask them out.. do so with confidence, and take them out, make a plan for a nice date, take time to get to know them, plan dates of going to lunch, or dinner, or a movie, and going for a walk afterwards, just talking, ask questions, be a good listener, be interested in her.. we all have to take some risks at being rejected, we all go through many short dating experiences until we finally click with someone, but it starts with "asking someone out".. don't sweat it, just do it.

[Orlander]

Hi emit. The more situations you place yourself in where you can meet and talk to women, the better. Church, work, volunteer opportunites, through friends, at bookstores, coffee cafes, grocery stores...etc.

 

Keep talking to women, but dont expect anything...just strike up conversations even if its to say "what time is it?" while you pocket your watch. You may not be quite ready yet to date. Just hang in there and keep practicing. I met my ex at a bookstore shortly after I decided I was ready to date again. Good luck.

 

 

Orlander

[Scout]

It just doesn't feel right for me to go up to random girls and ask them out, and then to expect something to happen with them whom they are total strangers.

 

I know what you mean. That's why it can be difficult to meet people through places like bars, coffeeshops, etc. It's easier to get to know someone in settings where you're likely to see them again...such as school, volunteer opportunities, hobby clubs, etc. Then you can actually build some rapport and ease, so that it feels a little more natural to ask them out and actually go out on a date with them. You already have some common interests/subjects to talk about on that first date, too.

 

I suppose you can achieve this with online dating, if you exchange numerous emails and have a few phone conversations first. But there are also some drawbacks to online dating, of course.

[scotty77]

I agree it doesn't happen naturally,then again some sort of small talk is necessary to get the ball rolling.To me it just seems unnatural to ask a woman out the first time that you meet them.To me that sort of thing only seems to happen in the movies.I agree though the only way to go is to ask your ''love interest'' out point blank

[cpc28655]

Ever played chess? Thats all I'm going to say, lol.

[CrazyKing]

Dunno, relationships will always remain a mistery, the more you love women, the less the chance you'll get in a relationship... I'm going through the same junkjard all the time, I hope you don't get that far as me, soon I'll become a streaker at local soccer games...

[emit_remmus]

Ever played chess? Thats all I'm going to say, lol.

 

You are too vague in your posts.

[cpc28655]

You are too vague in your posts.

 

Exactly what are you wanting to know, and I'll answer it

[anggrace]

You are too vague in your posts.

 

I think he's making a comparison to dating and playing chess. Strategy, patients, win some- loose some, get better w/ practice, ect. Mabey Im wrong.

[cpc28655]

I think he's making a comparison to dating and playing chess. Strategy, patients, win some- loose some, get better w/ practice, ect. Mabey Im wrong.

 

You have the general idea. Also moves, and counter-moves.

[ProtestTheHero]

I've played chess since I was about seven. It's much easier than dating. If I could succeed with countermoves in the dating scene, I'd have a better track record.

 

Chess pieces don't worry about physical attraction, compatability, etc.

 

Kinda off topic, I know, but comparing dating to anything logical is egregious.

[cpc28655]

LOL, fair enough. How about poker?