Gunmetal Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I'm 20 and he's 19, and I am going to be his first. I am really honored that he's giving this to me. He is nervous, but I am too! I have mainly been with much older guys, they have all been really experienced and take charge, even if I make the initial move. How should I handle this? I want him to feel comfortable and enjoy himself. I know that a drink beforehand might help loosen things up, but I have also heard that it makes maintaining an erection a bit difficult. So I guess my question is mostly for guys...think back to your very first time and share what went well, things you wished had been different, difficulties, etc. But if there are any girls who have experience with unexperienced guys, please jump right in! I also need to build his confidence, based on our makeout sessions. Its really not all about his 'skills'...I am really into him and get totally turned on just sitting and kissing him. He knows I am used to older guys, and he is a bit intimidated thanks! Link to comment
mikeca Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 well my first time was with an older girl, I was 20 and she was 23. What helped is the level of progression went on step by step, the make out sessions then fondling and getting semi-naked, it built it up. We had a nice quiet house and as we drank one night we came back home and started fooling around and then we just took the next step, I was a little nervous as well but I could feel she cared for me and I for her so it worked out very well. I was on top in hte missionary, heh I remember thinking "just dont go fast!" too...my and...her surprise haha it was roughly and hour later and was a great first time! Link to comment
Scotcha Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I think your boyfriend would prefer to be on top. From what I know most guys worry about going too early and it might be a bit less nerve racking knowing that he is controlling the pace. But that's what I think.. You might want to ask him. Link to comment
desertsoul Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I was happy that for my first time, my very experienced girlfriend took some of the pressure off by taking control (even after I initiated things). As much as I wanted to do it, I was very nervous, so when she got on top and led the way, it allowed me to focus a little less on all my concerns about technique and more on the pleasure of the experience. Hence, my nervousness wore off very quickly. I also have to agree with Mike in that a step-by-step progression was good. My girlfriend was always very careful to make sure that she wasn't going beyond my current comfort level when we were fooling around, but as I got more comfortable, we went a little further each time. One thing I would have changed, though, is that we would have left the lights on. On my first attempt, I probably would have been a little more relaxed if I wasn't so distracted by having to fumble around in the dark. And really, it would have been that much more special and erotic to be able to watch my very attractive girlfriend moving her body on mine. Link to comment
LostInMyThoughts Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 If it's his first time, he's not going to last long. Maybe around 30 seconds. So don't expect any fireworks, but easy on him because he might feel a little embarrassed. Let him choose the position, having the woman on top takes some time to get use to, so standard mish is probably better. You can help him guide his member into port (it's not easy to know your first time!!!) if he's having trouble. Link to comment
Dako Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 He might surprise you. He'll enjoy it, no matter what. Link to comment
Night Pumpkin Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I don't think it matters. WHat you should be discussing with him is whether this really is the right time, whether or not he should wait, whether either of you have diseases that could spread, whether you plan on using a condom, and what you will do if you get pregnant. Have that discussion first !!! Link to comment
regular joe Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Just let the situation dictate how it will go. See if he is comfortable being on top and in control. If he's nervous and unsure then you take control. Either way it'll have a happy ending lol. Link to comment
Cardinal Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Agree with night pumpkin. Talk about b/c, std's etc. I'd be more comfortable with missionary the first time, but I would have probably still failed to get an erection then blown in less than a minute no matter what. First time with any partner is awkward for me. I'm nervous, etc etc. Best thing for me is just not to make a big deal out of it and to come in having absolutely no expectations about it being good or great or whatever. jmo. Now of course I know that I can just make sure to get off twice 12 hours before having sex then take about 15 mg of viagra. That ensures a long lasting performance with an erection whether I want one or not. I just hope he knows to get off beforehand. I might even tell him that. Link to comment
Locke2121 Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Well, his first time, you need to really be in control. He will very nervous and not really able to concentrate. A good basic plan is some heavy petting and oral sex before hand. Get him off first, then start showing him how to perform oral on a lady. Teach him what a woman likes! And getting him off orally or by hand before the actual intercourse will enable him to last longer, making it better for both of you. But yeah, on top will allow you to take it slow, watch his face and gauge his reactions. Have fun. Link to comment
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