Gunmetal

No, he went through my laptop twice and my cellphone at least twice. I didn't get angry bc i thought i had nothing to hide...turned out he hates how i am in close contact with so many of my male friends...telling them about day to day stuff but also occasionally some deeper stuff. Is there something wrong with that? So it was almost a relief when he told me he had gone through my things...I was thinking man, maybe now he'll trust me. Turned out he didnt like what he saw. And the dumb thing was that a month before, i had offered him passwords to my email/myspace stuff like that. I mean i had some really close friendships before i met him. How do I handle that? I'm not gonna blow off my friends.

My mother was in your position 20 years ago and didn't leave. She still apologizes to me.

Maybe I have too much of a -where there's a will there's a way- attitude here...

Good analogy, but i have the hots for black corvettes, and i made some changes in my life so that i could own and drive one around. Thats actually how I met this man, through club racing. We were physically compatible at the beginning, but that was summer and neither of us had too much on our plates. And i forgot to mention, just cause I can do it 2x a night doesnt mean i need that much...its just that this has not been a problem in my past relationships. He has a problem with my friends because we have a lot of the same friends. I am new to the area for school and I was friends with the whole group of them at first, before we became involved on a deeper level. I think part of it may be possessiveness in front of the guys? When he went through my computer, he was angry that some of them still hit on me and flirt. I don't take them seriously, though. I just love him so much, and I'm having a hard time showing him that he really is the most important thing in my life, even though school is time consuming. I guess i take it for granted that he doesnt grade me or give me deadlines.

Sounds like both the hot girl and your good friend have an eye on you!

Interesting. He has expressed something like performace anxiety in the past, when I teased him about perhaps having a threesome one day if he was into that. He isnt, and doesnt want to share me even with another girl. So ghost, I am not worried about there being someone else, he is the type who would end it with me if I wasnt the one he was thinking about. He is just more of a cuddler, he loves to fall asleep spooning. He never turns that down. I wondered if it is partly bc he is older? But still, he's a guy Yeah, its not great he went through my stuff. I'm really a private person. He did tell me that he has huge trust issues due to his past relationships. I have nothing bad to hide, so i worked past my feelings on the matter and instead am trying to find a way to prove that he can trust me. He really wants to, but we have disagreements about how much I am supposed to be talking to my male friends etc...it is one of our issues. It does hurt me, though. We have a very realistic view of each other, since we were put in a very ugly situation quite soon after we got involved. Its my admiration of his reaction to that situation that made me love and respect him as deeply as i do. Other than that, we only fight if we dont get enough time together. I guess it is just the natural rhythm of a relationship. Its unrealistic to think that we will talk as much as possible all day for the rest of our lives I talked to him and reminded him it is a choice - whether or not we keep that initial spark. Since then, he has been emailing more often and being sweet like he used to be. Maybe I should post over in the jeaousy section to see if theres anything to do to help him trust me.

Chin up and don't even give him a reason if he asks. If he's too dumb...yeah. Too bad.

Lol i know. He can be very jealous too. He went through my belongings on several occasions in the past, and i now have a screen saver password on my laptop computer. I want him to put his career first. Its what the future is based on, right? I don't see why he has to be irritable with me, though. I am in a very tough program where i get my work criticized all day, and at the end of it all no matter how badly i feel, if he calls/emails me I will present my best self. Not in a fake way, but just being considerate since he didnt cause my bad mood. I grew up watching my parents present their ugliest sides to each other at the end of each day, and i want my relationship to be different. We are also having some difficulty with the physical aspect. I have been rejected quite a few times recently...okay alot. It makes me feel bad bc i am very physical and could easily go for 2x a day/night...especially since we only have weekends.

Well, the thing I liked about our relationship is that we didnt play games with each other at the beginning. He came right out about how he felt about me (after being friends for a month or so) and we both admit that neither of us is perfect... For me, there wasnt really an 'infatuation' period, i just grew from being a good friend to what he called his 'everything'. I'm not sure. A couple months ago he mentioned marriage. I'm not the kind of girl to want something like that so quickly, but i was surprised that i wasnt scared away. It didnt raise any red flags at the time, but perhaps it should have? : / He is also older, 29 vs 19. I am really busy with school and everything, while he has a 9-5 job, and is free quite a bit. He feels like he isnt a priority, and to be honest i really do put school first. Maybe he is giving me a bit of a cold shoulder to give me a taste? Sounds more like a 9 yr old than a 29 y/o...

How long does it take for a guy to show his true colors? I have been with my man 6 months and things are getting a little shaky. He is switching careers at the moment so is obviously stressed, but is it right to take it out on me? There is no abuse or whatever, but it feels as though we are at the 6 year mark (in a bad way) rather than 6 months. Any musings would be much appreciated. He just fit so well at the beginning.