redsuede Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Last thursday, I sent my x an email saying I need no contact now. She replied she understood (because she is seeing someone new). I have maintained NC, although she tried to call me that night, which I didnt get. Today, I get an email from her saying that she didnt think that she deserved to be ignored, and that she is closing the chapter of our lives. She said that she is letting me go with peace and that she loves me and hopes that I find that someone who I can connect with.. (we were together 7 years).. She sent it with a "read receipt" request, which I declined. It was nice, but I am now scared. It was said nicely, but I dont want to reply. I dont. I am sick of rejection over and over again. My fear is that if I dont reply, am I an a**h***? I have always treated her feelings with love. I said to her last thursday I need NC. She said she understood, and today I get this email saying goodbye forever. I am having a panic attack and cant think clearly of how to handle this email. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.... Link to comment
Meow18 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 You know that you need keep no contact. I think she's being a little rude by sending you this after you already said you needed no contact. I think she's just looking for attention and she wants a reaction from you. To be honest, that's not fair at all to you. Do not reply to her. Who cares if it comes off as rude? If she can't understadn your reasons, then she doesn't really care about you. And you don't need someone like that in your life anyway. Link to comment
Cyprian Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 She is DEFINITELY only e-mailing you and saying that in order to provoke a response from you, thereby breaking your NC vows! Do not fall for it. You are not out of her life completely and I promise you that if you continued NC without giving in at all she will continue to contact you. Maybe soon, maybe in a month, maybe every month, maybe in a year! Link to comment
redsuede Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 Thanks Meow.. she has never sent me an email with a "read reciept". what the heck. She is seeing someone new now. I told her thursday in a very nice way good luck, but I need some time now. She said she understood and let her know if I need anything, and now this. I dont understand this email today. It makes no sense to me, but i guess it could be that it is because my emotions are now really panicky. Ughh.. Link to comment
redsuede Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 cyprian.. Why? Do you think its to get me to try to break NC? I know I sound so stupid right now... Link to comment
Cyprian Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Its probably because she doesn't want you to do NC! Maybe she loves you so much that although you are not longer a couple she needs you in your life. Maybe she wants you as a safety-net. Maybe she assumed you would be weak and she would be able to walk all over you. There could be a million different reasons, some nice, some evil, some good, some bad, but the point is you will never know (and should not continue to seek the answer why). You should just continue with NC and although it seems very hard right now, try to stop thinking about her in any way. Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Well, as she's with someone else and no intention of getting back to you, no, I wouldn't jump and respond to this emotional blackmail. It's plain rude if you ask me, and so disrespectful of your feelings and how you're hurting. Better off carrying on learning to live without her - I can't see what friendship would achieve with someone who was so unthinking about you. Take care/ Link to comment
JoeWho Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Just do what you have to do for yourself and dont worry about what she thinks. If she thinks you are being an a-hole by ignoring her then so be it. I have been where you are and felt bad about ignoring my ex. Now I just dont give a crap what she thinks. Link to comment
redsuede Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 I wont respond, thank you so much all of you for your advice. I am now going to have to prepare probably for another email of how bad of a person I am to ignore her email. I just want to feel better, and I was starting to. Everytime I start feeling better by moving on, she sends me a "goodbye" email. So, that is why your advice was so needed badly. Thank you for helping me think through this, my brain obviously is not working well after getting that email. Link to comment
terk2021 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 I wont respond, thank you so much all of you for your advice. I am now going to have to prepare probably for another email of how bad of a person I am to ignore her email. I just want to feel better, and I was starting to. Everytime I start feeling better by moving on, she sends me a "goodbye" email. So, that is why your advice was so needed badly. Thank you for helping me think through this, my brain obviously is not working well after getting that email. redsuede, Good for you. My ex did the same thing to me. I continued to fall into the trap, in which I continued to deeply regret, each time I responded. She made her bed, now she has to live in it. Stay strong, and good luck in your recovery. Link to comment
Meow18 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 cyprian.. Why? Do you think its to get me to try to break NC? I know I sound so stupid right now... It's obvious she's trying to break no contact. She just DID through that email. No contact has to happen from both sides. Maybe she enjoys making you jealous. She just likes the attention she gets from you. You don't sound stupid and you aren't. You are just going through a lot of pain right now and that's normal. Just know that you deserve better than this. You deserve to have people in your life who truly care about your feelings. Not people like her who try to hurt you in the way they know how. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 She sent it because no contact makes her feel rejection just like you probably felt when you found out she's seeing someone else. How dare she say it was unfair that you are "ignoring" her. If you really want to end the turmoil, don't respond. Hugs~ Link to comment
redsuede Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 Thank you so much.. So much, so much! Its hard to see the right path when you hurt so much. I am going to take the advice of all of you. You guys are all saying the same thing, and to answer Im that Girl, I do want the turmoil to end... SO BAD!. I just got through pulling myself out of the trash recently, and have been in the process of wiping my pants off.. and then SLAM... the email today.. Feels like Im in the trash all over again.. Link to comment
redsuede Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 Im That Girl, If you are right, and she felt rejected by NC, thats probably why she had to reject me all over again to "get her power back" Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Thank you so much.. So much, so much! Its hard to see the right path when you hurt so much. I am going to take the advice of all of you. You guys are all saying the same thing, and to answer Im that Girl, I do want the turmoil to end... SO BAD!. I just got through pulling myself out of the trash recently, and have been in the process of wiping my pants off.. and then SLAM... the email today.. Feels like Im in the trash all over again.. Here's a few towels, a washcloth, and your bath water is running. Hurry - Jump in - the water is clean, lots of soap, cleanse your clothes and soul!!!!!! I know how difficult it is. It triggers the need to make some sort of contact again with them. But let this be the last rejection she tries to pass on you. Anyway - How can she tell you goodbye? And reject you? You already told her you weren't interested in what she had to offer!!!!!! Link to comment
Cyprian Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Im That Girl, If you are right, and she felt rejected by NC, thats probably why she had to reject me all over again to "get her power back" Exactly! That is how I would look at it! Link to comment
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