Sexual Interest in the Long term....

[vagrant]

I posted a question about this subject a few months or so ago...

 

 

My girl and I have been together a just over a year now. The problem is was the frequency. At first like with most relationships the sex was quite often. Now and over the last 5 months or so.. the frequency as fallen off drastically.

 

We have been talking about it, and trying to discover what the problem is. Lately the frequency is once or twice a week. I can live with twice a week, but once a week is maddening to me. She is physically able. But most of the time uninterested. She's told me before that she usually loses interest in sex while in long term relationships...

 

 

The New part:

Today we were talking about it again, and she told me that she doesn't get as much pleasure from sex as she thinks she should. That sex doesn't feel as good as it should until after her first orgasm. Basically she doesn't usually get into it until after the first "O"

 

She tells me that she doesn't know if this is something new or if this happened in previous relationships or not. She says I'm not doing anything wrong. And that I am doing "things" right.. I can't help but be worried. All other parts of our relationship are good. But this sex problem really worries me. Sex is very important to me.. I have actually begun to wonder why it is so important to me. If it was up to me we'd have sex at least every other day. I think she'd be happy with once a week or so..

 

I know different people have different appetites...

[heloladies21]

You're right to have your suspicions, this isn't a good sign of where the relationship stands.

 

A girl's sex drive is directly proportional to how she feels about you emotionally. Once the sex drive starts to decrease, it is a symptom that the relationship is on the way out.

 

There are so many reasons why she could be losing interest, but taking over the sex issue won;t solve anything. Sex drive is the most impossible thing to consciously control in this world.

[Tony29UK]

 

A girl's sex drive is directly proportional to how she feels about you emotionally. Once the sex drive starts to decrease, it is a symptom that the relationship is on the way out.

 

.

 

 

Sorry to Hi-jack the thread... does that apply to guys as well?. May have a meaning in my subconscious...

[kate111]

You're right to have your suspicions, this isn't a good sign of where the relationship stands.

 

A girl's sex drive is directly proportional to how she feels about you emotionally. Once the sex drive starts to decrease, it is a symptom that the relationship is on the way out.

 

There are so many reasons why she could be losing interest, but taking over the sex issue won;t solve anything. Sex drive is the most impossible thing to consciously control in this world.

 

I don't agree with that.

 

A woman can just naturally have a lower sex drive. The pill can decrease sex drive as well.

 

I've loved people and been emotionally involved with them and not felt like sex. It happens with long term relationships.

[jimthzz]

women are complicated for sure. On the one hand, they can be convinced and tell you in full conviction that what you are doing together sexually is just fine, yet it doesn't lead to her achieving satisfaction.

 

Once she actually achieves satisfaction properly with you, you will see a change in her interest in sex with you.

 

OR, not.

 

Her drop in interest can have nothing to do with you.

 

OR, not.

 

It can have everything with you but she will never tell you so.

 

OR, not.

 

see what I mean?

[doyathink]

A girl can simply not have as high of a drive as others do.

Don't panic....just see how things go for a while....

It does NOT mean she is necessarily losing interest in you dude...don't listen to that.

[heloladies21]

Sorry to Hi-jack the thread... does that apply to guys as well?. May have a meaning in my subconscious...

Yes, it happens for slightly different factual reasons, but you have lost interest in your relationship and it's only a matter of time before you move on.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Twice a week is pretty average, even once a week for long term couples, so this amount is 'normal'.

 

But what is important is that you feel you need more, and she is admitting to a lack of interest in sex, which could get worse.

 

You probably need to do lots of talking about this, and talk about ways to make the sex more interesting for both of you. But i would not suggest continuing a relationship with someone who is lukewarm about having sex, especially if sex is very important to you.

 

Sex IS important in most good relationships, so a total incompatibility there can't be ignored, and it needs to be worked on with compromises for others who have a good but not great sex life that both rate as excellent.

[anggrace]

I am in you shoes and have been for the last two years, except Id be very happy w/ one time a week... and Im a girl. I can tell you that you might never really uderstand why this is and the more time that goes by the more frustrated you will get. At first it was sexuall frustration, but now its much more than that. Our lack of intimacy has really hurt our relationship.

Atleast she is willing to openly talk to you about it. Thats a good sign/start.

[vagrant]

I am in you shoes and have been for the last two years, except Id be very happy w/ one time a week... and Im a girl. I can tell you that you might never really uderstand why this is and the more time that goes by the more frustrated you will get. At first it was sexuall frustration, but now its much more than that. Our lack of intimacy has really hurt our relationship.

Atleast she is willing to openly talk to you about it. Thats a good sign/start.

 

Wow.. I don't know how you can deal with that.

[ghost69]

are you in good shape? if she isn't attracted to you emotionally, try working on your body. but usually if a woman is attracted to a guy emotionally, this isn't a problem. maybe you 2 are too comfortable. i think sex is a major part of a good relationship though.