Baby Shower - Uggh I need help with this!!!

[Dilly]

OK, so my squasi-in-laws (sisters and mother) are throwing me a shower at my place this weekend. It's coed and previously, I had only intended for my family and really, really close friends to be present.

 

But I have been informed by a coworker that my work is throwing me a surprize bash to, and frankly, I didn't want to send out invites to a shower to workmates because I thought it might look like I was ASKING for gifts.

 

I guess after inviting four workmates to the party, I feel compelled to invite them all (because feelings so often get hurt). Now, my question is, would you do that (this is TWENTY-FIVE people)? It's actually possibly MORE, but hmmmm, what should I do?

 

SLIPPERY SLOPE INDEED and the party is in only four days!!!

 

THANKS IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR HELP! I kinda wanna make a decision thsi morning. By the way, I was told it would be fine to invite others.

[RayKay]

Hmm, it is not unusual for people to be thrown a couple different baby shyowers - it is not your job to invite people unless there are some you really want there...so I would not. You may get two separate showers, but at least they will both be smaller and voluntary!

 

I went to a huge wedding shower a couple weeks ago...120 people, and most the bride did not know at all! Was supposed to be co-ed, but there were only three men other than groom there and they were all put to work..lol. They got lots of "stuff", but not my cup of tea personally! The groom's mother threw it together for her.

 

I am going to a baby shower next weekend...the night after I go to a bachelorette party..lol. The woman having the baby shower already had the baby though a couple weeks ago

[Ash]

Don't feel badly about it Dilly. Many will end up feeling very generous in this type of a situation. You're not abusing anything here.

 

I would think that your coworkers if they're concenred about how much they're expected to contribute will simply lay low on the at work efforts with the understanding they'll be at another more intimate shower.

 

Besides, who's the dope that told you about the "secret" work shower!! You're not really supposed to know about the work shower, and your coworkers should be at least acting consistently with that concept so again, don't worry about it! Your caring coworkers (they must be because you consider them close enough to invite them to a function including close friends and family) will figure it out.

 

It's supposed to be enjoyable and nice for you. Don't tie yourself up in a know over it. Enjoy! It doesn't happen very often!

[Dilly]

So bottom line, you wouldn't worry so much about feelings being hurt or bruised? I guess, the fact that I've had a couple of people tell me I might as well invite everyone... I don't know.

 

It does FEEL less cozy and I want the people there who have really been there for me. I've had a long row to hoe and they've been the ones who have helped me hoe it and they have lost some respect for me along the way... but it's those very people I want closer by my side. But at the same time, I have lots of "middle-ground" support here at work (where you have ten minute conversations - meaningful ones - with people who really reach out and try to express that they care).

[rocio]

When you run into them around the office, you can say, "Look, guys. It would be great if you could come, but please don't feel obligated to bring anything pricy, or even anything at all."

 

I don't know if that's an appropriate thing to say, but that's what I would say.

[RayKay]

Hon, they are throwing you a work shower, don't worry about it. Most people understand that showers are thrown FOR the person, not BY the person, and those whom the one throwing it know will be the ones contacted!

 

Another friend of mine for example had three wedding showers...one from her side of family, one by her coworkers, and one by her hubbys side of the family! It can be crazy, just go with it and focus on making the baby

[Ash]

Sorry Dilly, I didn't read your inital post very carefully at all.

 

In some ways, it's up to the folks throwing your shower as to how many people they'd like to invite. I realize it's your shower, but they likely had in mind the size of group they'd like there. I'd talk to them about it a bit.

 

I don't think you need to invite all those folks from work. Stick with the short list. Unfortunately as you say, sometimes feelings are hurt slightly, but on the other hand I'd hope people would understand that not everybody can go and that decision had to be made. If you suspect some in particular would be hurt then perhaps speak to them indiviidually or perhaps send them a personal note thanking them for their support.

[Dilly]

Hon, they are throwing you a work shower, don't worry about it. Most people understand that showers are thrown FOR the person, not BY the person, and those whom the one throwing it know will be the ones contacted!

 

Another friend of mine for example had three wedding showers...one from her side of family, one by her coworkers, and one by her hubbys side of the family! It can be crazy, just go with it and focus on making the baby

 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

Focus on making the baby!!! Excellent idea!!! HAHAHAH

 

THANKS!

[Dilly]

Sorry Dilly, I didn't read your inital post very carefully at all.

 

In some ways, it's up to the folks throwing your shower as to how many people they'd like to invite. I realize it's your shower, but they likely had in mind the size of group they'd like there. I'd talk to them about it a bit.

 

I don't think you need to invite all those folks from work. Stick with the short list. Unfortunately as you say, sometimes feelings are hurt slightly, but on the other hand I'd hope people would understand that not everybody can go and that decision had to be made. If you suspect some in particular would be hurt then perhaps speak to them indiviidually or perhaps send them a personal note thanking them for their support.

 

I thought you wrote a very nice and reasonable response initially. I just haven't had time to respond

 

I think this is a very reasonable approach. My friend at work (well one who I've informed of this little dilemma) has advised that if I invite everyone, only the ones I want to be there will really be there anyway, so no big dealio!!!

 

But anyway - fun times indeed!!!

[Dilly]

When you run into them around the office, you can say, "Look, guys. It would be great if you could come, but please don't feel obligated to bring anything pricy, or even anything at all."

 

I don't know if that's an appropriate thing to say, but that's what I would say.

 

Great idea as well!!!