kickedin Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 we broke up nov 25th....... hi xxxxxx- i talked to my brother recently...your name came up- we had a good talk- there were some things i found out from him that finally helped curb my anger w/ you from last month - it was a relief to find out that i was misinformed up until now about something - anyway, i asked him to talk to you about it and some other things- but he has a trial thursday, and i don't know if he has gotten to it so i figured i'd write this to you i don't know if you know this - but your messages last month came to me the morning of one of the biggest days ever for me- i had an interview for a principal's job that night at 9pm preceded by a graduate course that i was to begin teaching to middle school teachers and their principals in xxxxxxx- my nerves were pretty wound up as you can imagine- your messages confused me a lot- but i couldn't respond b/c i just couldn't afford to jeopardize a sound mind for that long and important day- (By the way I was 2nd in the interview...out of 47....good but not good enough i guess, oh well : ) Anyway, that morning, while driving into work and talking on the phone w/ my mom she sensed that i was "off"- i told her what happened, which she responded by saying "forget him, xxxxx...he's not for you"- i asked what she knew and was keeping from me....well, long story short a story which got twisted (evidentally) came back to me in a very disturbing way - i got to work and wrote that email - perhaps you can imagine how YOU would have felt and maybe understand why i went off on you - i was so upset! well, since then (and only VERY recently) i found out that the truth was twisted - it really doesn't matter to me as far as what you're doing these days - (well, to a certain extent of course) what bothered me is why you would attempt making me some kind of false hope in what you were really doing during that time that we were broken up- i thought you were playing two ends for the middle and that the TRUTH of what you were doing w/ your time was never going to be revealed - it's really not important anymore, i guess because it's MY feelings that you may not ever understand - but I do hope you can accept my apology here....it wasn't my fault that I got so angry : ( we weren't talking and so I had to go by what I heard anyway, i hope you are well these days, xxxxxxx- i really do - of course i remembered you're birthday last friday and sent you silent wishes b/c i did not want to cause any confusion or emotions on your special day....maybe you still know the real me and how i truly did always TRY to do the right and bigger thing - But...I do wish you a belated Happy Birthday! I hope this year brings you great things - you deserve them (and it's your last year in your twenties....finally! lol) well, sorry if this bothers or disturbs you in any way! i just want you to know what happened and why i was so angry with you- take care, please! maybe one day we can sit down together face to face; catch up; share where we're heading these days - we never did get to do that, did we? ! when i was finally ready for a talk you weren't....etc. well, i am willing if you want that respect that you always said our relationship deserved - i don't know - pray about it.... as usual, I'd be willing to share the REAL deal in what's going on w/ me....and I'd love to know how you're doing (especially since my brother is trying so hard to salvage his friendship with you! us talking amicably may make that more possible....for i know we can try to be considerate and strong and gracious : ) well, i hope your family is well - i do pray for all of you as i promised i would! i heard your shop looks great and that all is well....i'm sooo glad, xxxxxx.... i really want to see great things happen for you for you will always occupy a place in my heart : ' ) take care, xxxxx i am really confused...because it seems like she reaches out and then covers her but...like shes testing to see if i am still here...... what shall i do Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 I feel she only wrote that email to ease whatever guilt she is feeling over the two of you breaking up, and to encourage you to be friends with her brother again. If it were me I'd write back and say "Thanks for the well wishes" as a subtle way of telling that person they need not write me anymore. That is just my 3 cents. Link to comment
kickedin Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 I feel she only wrote that email to ease whatever guilt she is feeling over the two of you breaking up, and to encourage you to be friends with her brother again. If it were me I'd write back and say "Thanks for the well wishes" as a subtle way of telling that person they need not write me anymore. That is just my 3 cents. yeah i was thinking she was trying to aleive some guilt too......i am so confused ....](*,) Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Do you want to maintain a real friendship with her, with the possibility she may not date you again or do you want to move on? Link to comment
lady00 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 i would write a simple, one-line: "Thank you for the letter. I appreciate it." She feels guilty because she got angry at you based on some misinformation. I wouldn't read anything more into it. Link to comment
kickedin Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 Do you want to maintain a real friendship with her, with the possibility she may not date you again or do you want to move on? thats just it i miss her and love her like crazy...i cant take sitting down with her and hearing how great thinga are and her not wanting to be with me again....its would kill me....but dont you have to start somewhere......i dont know its like i am screwed either way...if i dont answer....its like i am playing games if i do its going to hurt again to knowwe cant be together...... Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 thats just it i miss her and love her like crazy...i cant take sitting down with her and hearing how great thinga are and her not wanting to be with me again....its would kill me....but dont you have to start somewhere......i dont know its like i am screwed either way...if i dont answer....its like i am playing games if i do its going to hurt again to knowwe cant be together...... I would write her and tell her thanks for the well wishes, you are glad she is doing well, but you need some time before you are able to have communications/friendship with her, and at the end of the email, say thank you to her for being understanding of your wishes. Link to comment
kickedin Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 does nc work into this situation Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 does nc work into this situation Essentially, my example response to her email would hopefully start no contact, yes. Link to comment
DN Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 what bothered me is why you would attempt making me some kind of false hope What do you think she meant by 'false hope'? Hope about what? Link to comment
kickedin Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 What do you think she meant by 'false hope'? Hope about what? thats what got me......she broke up with me.....i didnt get that either Link to comment
newvenus Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 I think she's just checking your temperature. I agree with lady00... if you want any results out of your response.... be cool about the email and just say something to the effect of... "oh.. thanks. Hope you're doing well" and leave at that. I will really get the job done. I broke up with my boyfriend last week. This morning I sent him a looooong email explaining a few things.... at that point I didn't care or think about his response.... I was feeling too good about my email. When his reply cameback with just an "Okay", I went out of my mind. I've called him several times and sent him several emails ... why? because I wasn't expecting that cold response. Do it... you'll see what happens next. Good luck Link to comment
DN Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 thats what got me......she broke up with me.....i didnt get that either I think you should ask her what she meant by that comment. Link to comment
onelittleladybug Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 I dont know your story but I think this letter is really nice. Its respectful and thoughtful and It sounds like she is aware that there are always at least two sides to every story. My advice is definitely to talk to her. I can also hear a removed tone but I have to say that reaching out like this must be really hard. I know I personally wouldnt be able to do it without being guarded at the same time. Link to comment
kickedin Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 well i made it to today.......i have such mixed feelings....fear that she in her own childish way is reaching out to me but never enought to get hurt...that if i dont answer that she will send me a " you know what you are playing games dont even know why i tried" email........ i just love her too much and know that she cant give me what i want and vice versa.....it would hurt tooo much to see her.... Link to comment
kellbell Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 Hey there, I read the email twice to make sure I read everything correctly and I can totally see from your perspective why this would be confusing but from the outside it makes perfect sense to me. It is my belief she is not reaching out in this email. In fact, I feel in some ways it is bit self-fulling (on her part) and more for her benefit than yours. She was justifying her behavior towards you while she up for the principle position and other things. She went on about how she got a "twisted" truth. To me, these are just excuses. She ended the relationship and IMO for your sake and hers, she sould have just maintained NC and let you go. She has dangled all these carrots all this time and this email is another carrot. From now on, I would just try not read into her actions or emails. I know it will be difficult but for your peace of mind and emotional well-being, it is for the best. That email she sent you was so can sleep at night more peaceful. I am truly sorry things have been hard. Hang in there. You are doing great. Link to comment
kickedin Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 thanks....she has a way of coming around towards the summer as all my friends say like she did last year......guess she doesnt want my boat packed full of girls...too bad Link to comment
kellbell Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 You will be okay. You just have to give yourself a chance. And you deserve to be happy. Link to comment
Scout Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 I think you should ask her what she meant by that comment. So do I. That comment really jumped out at me from her letter. It sounds like she's genuinely reaching out, too. At least to see each other face to face and see where you're both at. Link to comment
Scout Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 thanks....she has a way of coming around towards the summer as all my friends say like she did last year......guess she doesnt want my boat packed full of girls...too bad It's only the beginning of March...not even spring yet, much less summer. Link to comment
bigheart09 Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 I remember reading your other posts where you had copied her other emails. I remember her being very selfish and always talking about her and how everything was effecting her, not you. I could be way off, but I think she wrote this email to make herself feel better. Link to comment
kickedin Posted March 7, 2007 Author Share Posted March 7, 2007 I remember reading your other posts where you had copied her other emails. I remember her being very selfish and always talking about her and how everything was effecting her, not you. I could be way off, but I think she wrote this email to make herself feel better. i think it may be it........if not this girl has to reach out way mor ethen thisi sold my house to buy one with her and a week later she goes nuts........ Link to comment
kickedin Posted March 8, 2007 Author Share Posted March 8, 2007 made it till thursday........ its been tough as i really miss her.....i have a weird feeling she will contact me again soon.....thanks for the support guys Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 made it till thursday........ its been tough as i really miss her.....i have a weird feeling she will contact me again soon.....thanks for the support guys She'll probably contact you again to make herself feel better. It will get better dude. Just give it some time. In the meantime keep yourself active. Get plenty of exercise and hang out with your buddies. Link to comment
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