AIM and Myspace Help!!!

[mease87]

I have a big problem looking at my exs AIM away messages and myspace.... and tonight really set me back. her away message says "Around with Steve leave me one"

 

steve is a guy at college with her which she openly admitted to me that she thought he was cute.

 

and i had alot of issues with him indirectly, cause i was insecure and didnt trust as much as i should have and got to the point where she knew i was asking questions on the phone to ultimatley see if steve was in the room.... he is a good looking kid and apperntly a really good friend... and there alone in her room and im going crazy with emotion right now....... i dont know why im posting... i just feel like breaking down. dont know why she would put that as an away. i feel like i cant breathe and cant take this......... i dont know what to do

[addictedblue]

dont know why she would put that as an away.

 

if you guys broke up recently, and she knew you were jealous of steve, and she knows you're online looking at her aim profile, she might have written that purposely to make you feel this way. its evil, but girls are evil sometimes. (i am one, i know)

[EvaGina]

why did you break up?

[melrich]

Hard as it is you have to accept that she can see and do as she pleases now. If I were you I'd stay right away from Facebook and Myspace, it does not seem to bring you any happiness at all.

[mease87]

 

 

go to that page and go 4 down... thats alittle bit of my story.

 

 

its been a month and 2 weeks since the break up. and im not really on my old screen name anymore and made a new one so it doesnt look like im online anymore. i didnt do anything to deserve her to be mean to me... i could only assume the reasons she left. but she just left me with a "IM not happy"

 

 

 

I feel so bad right now i want to cry...... i hate thats shes making feel like i dont exist. i thought i meant alot to her... she meant alot to me

[Lady Bugg]

Mease....One of the members here (DN) gave someone a good idea one time when they felt they were addicted to their computer...he said to take the plug out of the computer and mail it to yourself.I thought this was actually GOOD advice.....only I would add to send it from a town that is a reasonable distance...to give you at least a few days. Why? Because this is SELF PRESERVATION. I would suggest you just remove her name but I have been where you are emotionally...and I know just seeing their screen name gives you some sort of feeling of closeness to them...like they are just a "click" away.

 

My suggestion to you is to take a few days or even a week off the computer and busy yourself with other things. These feelings will subside...I promise.

[finalcloud13]

It's really true. If you can build up the willpower to restrain yourself from snooping around her business, it actually gets easier over time, not harder. Sometimes, you will get sudden hard pangs of wanting to know what she's doing but those go away quickly if you can restrain yourself.

[Lady Bugg]

Mease..just to add.....you are a little hottie. If I were about 15 years younger

I'd have a mad crush on you That girl is NUTS!!! Remember ...YOU are the prize...

[pacman]

Honestly you need to just delete her from your friends list. Put her on the block list so you cant see what shes doing or if she is listed as a new relationship or other guys flirting with her on her page.

 

Trust me, the constant checking on someones page/aim will drive you nuts. It will do you a lot of good to just delete her off your list so you cant see it anymore.

[rsxguy520]

Honestly you need to just delete her from your friends list. Put her on the block list so you cant see what shes doing or if she is listed as a new relationship or other guys flirting with her on her page.

 

Trust me, the constant checking on someones page/aim will drive you nuts. It will do you a lot of good to just delete her off your list so you cant see it anymore.

 

EXACTLY!!! do whatever you need to do to avoid the visual contact.delete delete delete!! im telling you if you look at her page, all its going to make you do is dwell. remember you can't let her make you the weak one! go through the pain and suffering and show her your the MAN!

[mease87]

thank you guys, your really helping me out tonight.... and thanks lady bug.. LOL made me feel good

[The Vitruvian Man]

I had this problem , and here's something that worked for me:

 

When you get the urge to look at her page, get up and walk away from the computer. Wait until the feeling passes, then go back when you're ready.

 

Believe me, it helped a lot.

 

Be well.

[mease87]

One last thing... is it best that she doesnt see what im doing ? like should i block her from myspace and stuff.... a part of me wants to ... but another part doesnt want to do what she did to me on facebook. i dont want to be childish and block her like she did me. but i could be wrong.. should i become invisble from her life completey by blocking her? or just let it be?

[Lady Bugg]

Look at it this way Mease...what do you have to lose if you block her?

What you DO have to gain though...is peace of mind. The important thing is YOUR healing..and as long as your concerned about what SHE thinks..that's not going to happen.

[splashdown]

Yes. This is exactly what I had to do. I removed her from AIM and Gmail chat, and I just don't go to Myspace anymore (which is ok anyway, since Myspace offends me, aesthetically speaking).

 

No contact means no contact!

[celene]

Hey Mease 87. I know exactly what you are going through! I do that with my ex and everytime he adds a girl I feel terrible and go through emotional yo yo. I know you want be able to delete it so this is what I recommend. Tell yourself you want see her profile for a day. Keep up with the plan and the next day tell your self you are going to see herprofile just once and keep doing this and you will see that it gets better in time.

Hope you are feeling better!

[shadow34]

I used my internet security to block any space address, I deleted the programmes he used and blocked his emails.

 

Pretty hard core stuff and it means I dont have access to my friends sites, but they are my friends, I can talk to them whenever I want and its a small price to pay for a clear head.

 

I didnt want to do it but forced myself, when I get the urge I write in my journal....

 

Or you could just break out the good old chocolate mmm does the trick everytime for me

 

Its really hard I know, but it will pass in time ....

[papalazarou]

Stay away from myspace and facebook and all that nonsense. I HATE all that stuff.

[Jason1080]

that stuff will mean the end of your sanity

[jengh]

One last thing... is it best that she doesnt see what im doing ? like should i block her from myspace and stuff.... a part of me wants to ... but another part doesnt want to do what she did to me on facebook. i dont want to be childish and block her like she did me. but i could be wrong.. should i become invisble from her life completey by blocking her? or just let it be?

 

you could just delete her from your myspace friends and then set your profile to private. And I'd block and delete her on AIM. This way, you can't see her away messages even if you wanted to.

And that mailing the computer plug idea is genius...

[shadow34]

You are absolutely right....

 

 

That stuff really does your head in !!!

[This is Horrible]

block her on aim. this way you can not see her profile and away message and she cant see your info.

 

take her off your myspace friends and make your myspace profile "private" so she cant view it.

 

additionally, DO NOT look at her myspace page. i looked at my exes in the beginning and it just adds to the torture.

 

eliminating them from your life (including aim and myspace and facebook) will help you in the long run....so as much as it hurts now, i recommend that you do it, and save yourself a lot of heart ache and pain.

 

good luck with your situation.

[mease87]

Thanks everyone. and to answet a question before, of what do you have to lose or gain from blocking her.

 

What im feeling right now is if i block her

* i think she might think i hate her and want nothing to do with her and thats not the case. and thats why i dont block her. also i dont want to dish out what shes dishing out to me by blocking me on facebook. i want to be the bigger more mature person.

 

* and if i block her, she will never know what im up to , maybe make her curious to what im up to one day and maybe give her that extra push to contact me.

 

those are my confilcts

[splashdown]

The question remains though, what do you hope to gain? Do you feel you've gained something by knowing that she spent an evening alone with another guy?

 

And why do you need her to know what you're up to? Why does being "the bigger more mature person" even matter? You're trying to live up to some standard that doesn't even exist. Who cares who was more mature? No-one's keeping score. Live for yourself.

[sunday13]

I am going through the same thing! What I decided to do, since lent is already underway, I am using it as a good excuse to walk away from myspace until Easter. I kept looking at my ex's profile. We ended our relationship with no hard feelings...just a lot of sadness. We didn't fight...he is just depressed and needs to do some hard work in is life. I don't want to block or delete him...that will send a childish message. Especially since it has been 2 months, if I do that now, he will know I am still affected by him. So...I just left a blog telling people if they need to reach me, to call me. Otherwise, see everyone after Easter! I already feel a sense of peace. Also, block them from IM. They won't know you have blocked them...then you don't have to see when they're on and they won't see when you are. I did that with a different ex of mine for a few months. It was wonderful!