Ex and Cell Phone

[macgyver4ever]

My ex and I recently broke up. Her fault, her loss. I'm struggling to get through it, but she had been seeing someone for 4 months before I broke up with her.

 

We share a cell phone plan together, because we were planning to get married. Now she is using all of the minutes to talk to her new boyfriend.

 

What do I do?

- I am in strict NC so I don't want to have to call or talk to her.

- I want to leave the door open to get back with her, and know cancelling her phone would be shutting the door.

- If I do cancel it, do I pay for it out of pocket, or expect her to pay the early cancelling fee?

 

She's really hurt me, never apologized for putting me through everything, and has not tried to contact me. We were together for 4 years, and kissed my roommate a few weeks before I was going to propose. She went into self destruct mode, and started drinking too much and got very immature.

Right now, she sucks, but the girl I used to know and love was awesome, and I would do anything to get her back.

 

Suggestions?

[pacopaco]

Hey man, get that cell back from her. she can go to hell. Let call him from a pay phone! she's calling him at your expense, literally. My ex and i also shared a cell plan under her name. I got a house phone and gave it back right quick. afterward just give the phone to a family member or someone you trust that can use a cell.

[renaissancewoman101]

I would get your cell phone back. Otherwise, it is just going to eat at you and going to cause you to want to snoop into the phone records and all that. Believe me, I've been there, done that.

 

When I was dating my ex, I got a cell plan with an extra phone and gave it to him. After he broke up with me, I let him keep the phone, thinking like you, to keep the door open for reconciliation. All it did was allow him to keep in touch with his friends and his new gf. Although, he was good enough NOT to use my daytime minutes and just use the free night and weekend minutes. Him having the cell phone just made it a temptation for me to see who he was calling, what he was doing etc. Since the bill came to me, I could see the logs of his phone calls and it used to drive me nuts and I would try to find out who the numbers he was calling, belonged to.

 

After some venting on ENA and some good advice from people here and to prevent the loss of my sanity, I got my phone back from him.

 

Get your phone back. This isnt going to bring her back

[thlst3]

it's been 4 months of NC. I think it's best you pay for the 'early termination' fee. Change the address and billing information to her. When my ex and I broke up, I changed it over to her name and paid the termination fee.

 

i remembering paying $200 dollar phone bill for 2.5 months and was like what da the hell.

 

it sucks but don't hold on to hope that she'll call you...

 

try to move on.

[macgyver4ever]

I've been in NC for only 9 days, so it is early, but she is well into another relationship.

 

Getting the phone back and then not using it would cost me about $200 for the year, while cancelling her line would be $175.

 

I have no interest in snooping. I snooped to find out she was talking to another guy, which she denied until someone else told me she cheated on me with him. This was 5 months ago when I found this out. I only checked it once since then, and that was a few weeks back when she told me she wanted to be with me, and spend the rest of her life with me, but wanted to hang out with him one last weekend.

 

I could care less who she is talking to. I just wish she would stop using ALL of my minutes.

[adahy]

I've been in NC for only 9 days, so it is early, but she is well into another relationship.

 

Getting the phone back and then not using it would cost me about $200 for the year, while cancelling her line would be $175.

 

I have no interest in snooping. I snooped to find out she was talking to another guy, which she denied until someone else told me she cheated on me with him. This was 5 months ago when I found this out. I only checked it once since then, and that was a few weeks back when she told me she wanted to be with me, and spend the rest of her life with me, but wanted to hang out with him one last weekend.

 

I could care less who she is talking to. I just wish she would stop using ALL of my minutes.

 

$175 is a SMALL price to pay for peace of mind!!! Pay it and never talk to her again. Ever. One last weekend???...jeez. Find your self respect. Move on.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

Is your number the main number on the account? I know when I added another number to my account, my number was the main number even though I shared it with another person.

 

The bills were getting too high and I called Verizon and killed the other number. If your number is the main account, then call your phone company and have it cancelled (the other number, your ex's line). If you are stuck with the bills, then I can assume the account is in your name or your number is primary account. So you can do what you want to do with the account. Even though it is $175 to break the contract, it is a small price to pay in order to get your ex out of your life for good. Stop stalling dude. LOL

 

This is not that difficult to do, just call your cell phone company and see what can be done, I am sure these things happen all the time. Good luck.

[Mun]

This happened to me and I cancelled the other line. In fact the phone company put a stop on it for a month to give me time to decide what to do with the other line.

 

I agree with the others that the fee to disconnect is worth it... the girl is using up all your minutes to talk to her new boyfriend. Obviosly she doesn't care what happens with you........sorry I know it hurts but maybe you need a reminder.

 

You deserve better. Tell yourself that and call the cell company. Tell yourself that until you believe it.

 

Best wishes

[annie24]

I agree with the others that the fee to disconnect is worth it... the girl is using up all your minutes to talk to her new boyfriend. Obviosly she doesn't care what happens with you........sorry I know it hurts but maybe you need a reminder.

 

exactly what I was thinking why are you subsidizing her new romance? would you give her gift certificates to take her new man out with to dinner?

 

get your phone back and put her in the past.

[macgyver4ever]

She pays half the bill. I don't know why I am standing up for her. I should hate her, but I still love her. I know she would like to have her number. I don't think I should just cancel it, because then she would lose her number. I also don't want to talk to her. AT ALL. At least not for awhile.

 

I think I will wait a few more days, and hopefully next week take care of this mess. I need more time unfortunately. At least she can't use minutes over the weekend!!!

[annie24]

are you hesitant because the phone is kind of your last connection to her? and if you cancel the phone, she will be out of your life for good?

 

her life will move on just fine with a new phone number. don't worry, she will be ok.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

when one wants to get back with someone, they usually overlook HUGE faults and problems and try to worry about how every little thing they do will prevent the other person from coming back when (a) the other person has moved on to someone else and (b) they shouldn't want that person back because they are a user and a cheater.

 

so you are worried about being a 'nice guy' and not cutting off the phone, while she is running around cheating with another guy AND using your phone to do it... if she were a decent person, she would have already told you to cancel the phone, or done it herself and split the cancellation charge with you. but she's obviously NOT a nice person.

 

she is not the person she used to be when you started, she is also the person she is now, and is showing you everything she is capable of, cheating and spending your money on someone else... so really, please just cancel the phone and move on becuase she is not going magically turn back into who you THOUGHT she was... this is who she is, and she is not worth having...

[kellbell]

Okay, so she pays half the bill. So what? When I added the other number to my account, the person paid me her share. But my number was the MAIN number on the account and MY NAME was the primary account holder. I can do whatever I wanted with the account and the numbers that are on it. If she is paying her share to you, then again, I assume the phones are in your name.

 

Cancel it dude. She cheated on you and using YOUR minutes to call her new boyfriend. How twisted is that?? She is a big girl, she can go to the phone company and get her own number. I am pretty sure she can use the phone she has now if she uses the same phone carrier. Even if she is paying her half, then you will still have ties with her, some form of contact. Is that what you want? Is this phone line a last effort to have her in your life?

 

It is understandable you still love her, you cannot shut your feelings off like a switch. But in the meantime, you need to take care of yourself and look out for YOUR best interest and stop looking out for hers.

 

Hang in there.

[Ladyface]

I was in a similar situation with an ex, except that I dumped him and he was paying for my phone at the time.

 

After talking about it with him, I decided to get back on my family's phone plan and keep the phone I had with him off at all times. This would save him more money than cancelling the line would.

[rsxguy520]

Hey man, get that cell back from her. she can go to hell. Let call him from a pay phone! she's calling him at your expense, literally. My ex and i also shared a cell plan under her name. I got a house phone and gave it back right quick. afterward just give the phone to a family member or someone you trust that can use a cell.

 

LOL Seriously she can go to hell. Don't take any crap from her. its your money man!!! remember that. you shouldn't be paying for something that is going to hurt you. dude she is nuts for doing that!

[macgyver4ever]

I took the high road. This cost me my 16 days of NC, but it was worth it.

 

 

She returned my phone call tonight about canceling her line. I told her it just wasn't working and she understood. I gave her the options and she had to call me back so she could review phone plans. During this conversation I was having a major panic attack, but remained positive and upbeat.

 

When she called back I had taken some Xanex so I was feeling much better. I stayed positive, and happy, and then started "The Perfect Plan Mach II." I told her she was right about the break up and we had not been happy. I was disappointed that things didn't work out but since I was the only one that wanted it to work, this was for the best. I then went on to tell her I wanted to be friends, and I know it would take time, but that she needs to know I will always be there for her if she needs advice or someone to talk to. This made her cry.

 

I cheered her up with a story about me getting bit in the face by a dog on a date last weekend, and she seemed genuinely concerned. It was nice.

 

Anyway, cell phone crisis averted. I lost my NC, but made the ex insecure with her decision. She seemed shocked that I was so happy and had moved on so fast. People always want what they can't have.

 

Thanks for the advice!

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

Well, I am glad things worked out for the best and that this cell phone issue has been put to rest. Keep up the good work.