rucnateb Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 hello all.i hope someone can take the time to read this and give me some advise which i am in real need off.long story short my boyfriends parents told him that they donot approve of our relationship...and that if he does go ahead and stays with me meaning something serious that they will not support him...now to him their blessing is very important and so now he doesnt know what to do...and i dont know what to tell him...i am very surprised at this since i have met his parents and i thought that they liked me i have to mention that i have 3 kids from a previous marriage and i am little older than him...the think that is a big issue...what do you all think...thank you Link to comment
robowarrior Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 They don't like you because you have 'baggage' from the past, they are afraid you are a trouble maker, this of course may well be because they are biased, but how old are you both? Certain age you don't need approval anymore. Link to comment
Jeffrey2095 Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 Okay, Lets slow down for a minute here and put our heads together... btw... welcome to ENA where you are not alone... and I am sure there will be some great advice coming for you. Personally... this is a most difficult situation.... I guess you must stilll be yourself ya know. Gosh, if they can not accept you for the way you are... Best advice... hang out here at ENA for awhile.... Good advice coming for sure. Jeff R. Link to comment
shikashika Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 How old are you both? Even at 29.. I would hesitate about meeting a guy with kids from a failed marriage Some people are find and dandy with it.. not me Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 How old are you both? Even at 29.. I would hesitate about meeting a guy with kids from a failed marriage Some people are find and dandy with it.. not me Yea but he obviously doesnt have a problem with that, the parents do. Anyway back to the OP, As others have asked how old are you? and how old is your bf? And I understand that everyone wants to please their parents but alot fo the times you ahve to focus more on pleasing ones self before pleasing anyone else. But you can receive much better advice once we know the ages. Link to comment
shikashika Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 Yea but he obviously doesnt have a problem with that, the parents do. Anyway back to the OP, As others have asked how old are you? and how old is your bf? And I understand that everyone wants to please their parents but alot fo the times you ahve to focus more on pleasing ones self before pleasing anyone else. But you can receive much better advice once we know the ages. Depends on how much parents mean to someone as well.. not saying its right... or wrong.. but some people would rather please their parents than their SO Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 I agree.. but his parents could be the type who disapproves of everyone he dates and everything he does and sometimes you have to focus more on pleasing yourself rather than your parents or anyone else. I understand wanting to please parents but sometimes no matter how hard it is you just have to go against whatever they want for you once you become an adult you need to make your own decisions and not let your parents choose your path of life for you. This is why I said we needed more information to give better advice. Link to comment
shikashika Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 OK then, question to the OP... do you really think its because you were married previously... or that you have children? or that you are older than him? Maybe it has nothing to do with this.. and is something else? Link to comment
CharlesF Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 His parents sound unreasonable to me. If he is not receiving financial support from them, I would think he could just tell them that he will continue to see you. Link to comment
shikashika Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 His parents sound unreasonable to me. If he is not receiving financial support from them, I would think he could just tell them that he will continue to see you. As much as this relationship is not my cup of tea... its not easy to tell your parents where to go and to go against their wishes.... especially when ( as she says in her first post) he has a very high opinion of them I think we need more information from the OP so we can give her more advice Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 Is there a cultural difference as well? Link to comment
CharlesF Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 I didn't mean that he should tell her parents where to go. What I meant was that his parents will eventually have to accept whoever he goes out with. Link to comment
rucnateb Posted February 17, 2007 Author Share Posted February 17, 2007 the whole thing is because i have kids...which i am spporting by myself...their reasons are not valid and he knows it...so we talked last night and it all came down to him making a desicion which was that he wnts to b with me and well the parents will have to learn to accept it or else...he is tired of making everyone else happy so this time he says he wont...he lives with his parents but he is a very successful man and so he will b moving out soon...we both have goals and even though i have kids that has not stopped me from doing things i want to do and reaching my goals either..his parents dont know my kids and they dont know me well enough to say anything and most important they dont know how much I love this man and how good i am to him,,,wish there was a way for them to see that...in the mean time we will work on this together and see what wil happen with his parents...thank you all for not making me feel alone...this place is great... Link to comment
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