You say you're my friend but im a my wits end

[Drizown]

Ok so this guy and I go to two different schools. We met through a friend about 2 years ago and we talk everyday since.

 

We can talk forever about nothing at all and make eachother laugh on end. We've seen eachother at parties and what not but this past Saturday we finally went out to see a movie. Btw we live like 2 minutes from eachother so this isn't a long distance thing.

 

So anyway I've really fallen for him and I'd like to turn it into somethin more. The only problem is he has feelings for this girl Joanna who hes taking to prom and has plans to ask her out on Valentines.

 

Now if he was serious about it when i first started falling for her I would have separated myself from him and let him persue that but up until now he had lost interest in her.

 

Normally I would just leave it be but he txts me, calls me all the time we talk forever, tells me he likes me and he even said i mean more to him than Joanna.

 

I'm afraid telling him will ruin our friendship and make things weird if his feelings arn't returned but what should I do. When he asks her out next week it'll be too late.

 

Drizown.

[TiredMan]

Seems if he is taking out this girl but also telling you he likes you, he either wants both or wants one for a backup, which isn't fair.

 

If you want to stay friends, you might need to set some boundaries. If he truly wants you over her, then he will make the choice. But don't get strung along. Good luck.

[AwdreeHpburn]

It is very possible you have been friend-zoned.

 

I guess I would certainly suggest coming clean with your true feelings. Tell him you wish it was you going to prom with him instead.

 

If you think you will have a hard time continuing to be his friend whilst he dates other girls - you might want to consider just taking a step or two back.... ??

[Altruist]

Perhaps 'shutting him out' for a while might bring him back to his senses.

[Drizown]

Well, it's not so much prom that would bother me because we do go to different schools and they were going to prom before these feelings even developed.

He was so hott and cold when it came to her and now hes hott again.

There's never been cold with us and I think he does have those feelings for me too we have just never really come clean about them.

I have a feeling that even if they do date it won't last long. She's not right for him, but i'm also not so sure I want to take the chance of it working out for the two of them and me missing out on my opportunity.

 

It's difficult to overcome the fear of rejection because in that case i'd lose the guy and quite possibly the friend. Not so sure I wanna gamble that.

[TiredMan]

When it comes to feelings, it's very hard. People always say (and I agree with it) when you are friends with someone and it leads to being with them or sex or whatnot, the friendship is almost always dead. So if the friendship means more to you than that, then you need to keep em separate. When men and women are close friends, those thought will pop up eventually but you kinda just got to brush them off.

 

If he is keeping both of you nearby for him to decide, then you really have to set boundaries so the friendship lasts. Tell him, he is with her, so you guys can't go stuff and should just be friends.

 

After that, whatever happens in the future happens in the future.

[renaissancewoman101]

TM, if she is friends with him, doesnt mean that they can't go hang out and do stuff. Isn't that what friends do?

[TiredMan]

TM, if she is friends with him, doesnt mean that they can't go hang out and do stuff. Isn't that what friends do?

 

Oh of course they can. But if she has feelings for him (which she does) and he is telling her he likes her too (while still dating someone else), it's gonna be awkward no?

[lifestream]

Well, it's not so much prom that would bother me because we do go to different schools and they were going to prom before these feelings even developed.

He was so hott and cold when it came to her and now hes hott again.

There's never been cold with us and I think he does have those feelings for me too we have just never really come clean about them.

I have a feeling that even if they do date it won't last long. She's not right for him, but i'm also not so sure I want to take the chance of it working out for the two of them and me missing out on my opportunity.

 

It's difficult to overcome the fear of rejection because in that case i'd lose the guy and quite possibly the friend. Not so sure I wanna gamble that.

 

It's still tough. I dated my best friend in high school and now that it's over we don't talk, unless we run into each other. So on one hand I had the best romantic feelings of my life, and on the other it was only temporary and I lost the friendship. Was it worth it? I think so. The relationship took its course, instead of looping over and over.

 

The best you can do is make a calculated risk. You can't do much else than that, really. I thought when my friend met his girlfriend that they wouldn't last long either. They bicker all the time, but through it all they still love each other and are making it work. You really don't know what you're capable of in a relationship with someone until you're actually in it.

[Drizown]

Yah well said. Sometimes the craziest matches last. But that's also my worry... if they do then what? I miss out.

 

If I don't tell him these feelings are going to be like you said... in a loop so its difficult to say.

[lifestream]

Honestly my best advice to you is Carpe Diem...or Seize the Day, because you never know when the sun will set.

 

Would you be able to handle being his friend knowing he's romantically involved with someone else?