And I condomed his car!

[Dako]

She gave his ego a boost, because he got attention from her, and has a story to tell his buddies.

Indifference would bother him, but that's not gonna happen.

What's the next step, egg in the vent?

[agualibre777]

yeah, i knew it was going to be contentious. it's not stalking. he is going to my yoga class. he wasn't going hardly at all before we started hanging out, so the way i see it, i was there first!! HE should change yoga classes. He is 20 minutes away from the studio, I'm 2 minutes away.

 

He DID treat me bad. He was NOT originally honest about not wanting a relationship. He didn't tell me that until AFTER we started having sex. And even though I was very clear about wanting to use condoms, he kept trying to have sex with me without a condom and never had condoms at his house. He straight up told me that if he wanted to he would manipulate me to have sex with him without a condom.

 

He is a creep. He also had told me Wed night when he quite rudely flaked on me that he would NOT flirt with girls in yoga class cause he didn't want to have that kind of energy in class and he knew it would "hurt my feelings", yet he did so immediately on saturday because I told him on Thurs I didn't want to have sex with him and that the magic was gone. So, yeah, he is a creep.

 

I agree that I should have seen he was a creep right away, but I didn't. That is a separate issue and one that I'm working on.

 

I didn't SCREAM at him by the way. I called him a name, but I didn't scream at him. I said it in a normal voice, albeit angrily, but not screaming. I called him a name, rolled up my window and drove away. And he IS one, and I'm actually quite glad I called him that. It was like popping a pimple.

 

Annie, I honestly don't understand why you are getting so upset about it. I didn't vandalize his car. I put scotch tape on condoms on his windshield. He was parked in the shade so there is no way it would damage his car. It was a harmless prank. Hopefully HE will change yoga classes. Because I personally will not, and have explained many times why I won't. I understand what you are saying about what the point of yoga is. But also I believe you can have that, but there is also the reality that people have feelings and experiences despite everything you may achieve in yoga.

 

I don't know I kind of think I should have opted for putting a bunch of loose condoms in his stuff so when he picked it up it all fell on the floor. Hahahaha. Now THAT would be funny.

 

I think of it as funny. FUNNY!!

[agualibre777]

Oh, also, something to think about is that negative emotions are never ever eliminated through meditation and yoga. And that isn't the point AT ALL. That's running from your nature!! Yoga and meditation is about being AWARE of them and letting them go, not letting yourself get so wrapped up in them that they become all you see.

 

I didn't do it out of anger. I did it because I thought it was funny and it made me laugh. It would have been even funnier if he brought a girl to his car and there were condoms pasted on the windshield. Hahahaha. O.k. so maybe there is some negativity there, but it isn't like a strong hateful anger, it's more like seeing how he is a jerk and I had a good idea. To me it's good, to him it's not. No one can say that's vandalism cause it did not damage his car one tiny bit!!

 

Also, by the way, my roomate is a somatic psychotherapist and she thought it was funny. In fact, I told her my idea before I did it and she thought it was a great idea, in fact she wanted to partake by hiding in the bush to videotape his reaction.... hahahaha. Gosh, stop taking things so seriously. Not everything is serious. Some things are just plain funny.

[agualibre777]

Ever ask him in class loudly enough for others to hear, if his venerial diseases have cleared up? I've done that to player guys when women were around for the audience. Some guys just have it coming.

 

That's funny. But I wouldn't do that, maybe instead just have condoms fall out of his yoga mat when he opens it.... Hahahaha.

[renaissancewoman101]

That would have been funny if your roommate hid in the bushes and videotaped his reaction. It would have been priceless.

[agualibre777]

Ys, it would have been AWESOME! The whole sad thing about it is not getting to see the look on his face...

[TheRedQueen]

I feel you girl, the putz deserved any, if at all, humiliation he felt.

 

He's a lying scumbag.

[secretdarkness]

An ex gf of mine, (not the one I've been rambling on about in this forum), once "Burned & Slashed" my favorite Leather Jacket... she then sent it back to me in the mail.

 

I was pissed about the jacket, sure.... but I also got satisfaction knowing that she really was struggling to "get-over-me"! (My Dad still laughs to this day... he said, "Boy you must'a really done something Bad").

 

I do like the prank that you pulled, but be careful about the messages you send.

[Batya33]

I don't think your choosing to be with him despite knowing he was a jerk is a separate issue at all. You decided to have sex with him without having a conversation about your intentions and expectations. I agree some of his behavior was jerky.

 

You just have a different sense of humor than I do and than annie does and I think the point is valid that you accomplished letting this guy know how much you care. Perhaps in some way that was what you wanted. Also, if he knows the same people you know, you might get a reputation that's not all that mature/stable depending on how he decides to describe what you did.

[agualibre777]

I'm not worried about what he thinks about me OR what he says about me!! I honestly couldn't care less. I don't care if he thinks I'm not over him because I put condoms on his car, the message to me is clear.

 

He needs to start having a supply of condoms at his house if he is going to be sexual with multiple people outside of a relationship!!

 

 

It's hilarious to me that people are comparing vandalism to a harmless prank.

 

Sense of humor people!

[Batya33]

Hopefully it will still be hilarious if he presses charges for placing these on his car. Or, if someone you would like to date doesn't find it funny and/or is concerned about getting involved with you because of the added hassle of your "pranks" if it doesn't work out. It's a small world, there is "karma' and what you did of course might be amusing to think about but to actually put in the time and effort and money to do it - kind of sad, actually.

 

As far as his decision to use condoms, or not, it's really not your business -- that is up to him and his partner.

[DizzyDoris]

Well i can see the funny side to it, its hardly crime of the century now is it?!

 

I really dont think you're gonna get in trouble over this, just imagine "miss i am arresting you on suspicion of putting condoms on a parked vehicle!" Total waste of police time, im sure the police have bigger fish to fry! Anyway isnt it illegal to infect people with HIV? Thats what this guy could be doing in the near future if he shags about and refuses to wear condoms!

 

He's obviously going to know it was you, so good luck keeping a straight face next time you see him.

[renaissancewoman101]

I agree with Dizzy, he isn't going to press charges. How can he prove that it is you? Yeah, in his mind he might know it's you, but to press charges you have to have SOLID PROOF, and he doesn't. He might think you're nuts, but he ain't that rosy himself.

 

Now that you got your revenge and he got his comeuppance, it's time to let go and move on and let this be just a funny story you tell your friends about dumb ex's.

 

As for "karma", what goes around, comes around. He acted like an arrogant jerk and treated her like crap, she came back and gave him a dose of his own medicine. If anything at all, he should be the one who's embarrassed.

[Batya33]

He may not press charges - but he can do a lot of damage to her reputation in the community and/or escalate by vandalizing her property where she wouldn't have proof. I think it's more sad than funny but that's just me.

[blender]

You're right it doesn't matter what HE thinks of you, but more importantly how do you feel about YOURSELF. The real lesson here is for you about yourself, and to no longer make a choice to get involved with a man who behaves the way this guy does.

 

You've been wise enough to say that he was "creepy" from pretty early on.. yet you had some low self esteem and 'ALLOWED' him the precious right to your heart, mind and body... so learn from this, it's a great lesson, and from now on treat your OWN precious heart, mind, body with respect.

 

And try not be intimate with someone BEFORE you get to REALLY KNOW HIM first. This takes time. He was a "lesson'... please know that your instincts from the start were right, and next time you will be wise enough to follow your own feelings inside, and to know better not to get involved with a guy who says things about what he will "manipulate" you to do..YUK.. you might think it was "sexy or challenging or fun" at the time, but it's not, it's plan DISRESPECTING FOR ANY GUY TO TALK THAT WAY.. NEXT TIME STAY AWAY FROM SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS IN THOSE TERMS.

 

The most powerful thing for you to do is to ignore him. By ignoring him and growing past all this you will feel better about yourself and he will no longer have the 'effect" that he gets such a thrill out of when it comes to disrespecting women.

 

You will feel better in the long run if you concentrate on what YOU need to work on in your own life and not what HE "should or should not" do.. that is HIS own self work to do, and again the most powerful, classy thing for you to do is to "stay away and ignore him".

 

I think if you are still feeling this "anger and anxiety" about how he chooses to behave, then even change your yoga class, it doesn't matter who was there "first"... it's just best for YOU now to NOT be anywhere near him. He's a creep, and if you choose to engage in any more "revenge" type of fun and games, you are only making him "important" and the fact is, he is NOT worthy of your energy.

 

Of course you are "disappointed and offended" AFTER you made a choice to give your body to this creep, but that is something you can change in your future, making sure to get to know a guy FIRST,

 

so right now start with forgiving yourself, and from now on only share your heart, mind, and body with a man whom you respect, admire and care for deeply.... and it takes time to really feel these things in a realistic and mature way...this is the REAL LESSON IN ALL THIS.. and it's for you. Instead of trying to "teach him a lesson" just learn one for YOU, for YOURSELF.

 

You are what truly matters here. And you got hurt, and it's painful, but it's also a "life lesson" and an important one at that....

 

So forget about him, learn from all this, and move on, stay away from him, change the damn yoga class, it's worth it to NOT see him, and get busy with your own life, and do things YOU are proud of..and that make you feel good about yourself. He's history, and you can learn from this and go out there and have a wonderful, classy, respectful future. YOU deserve it!

[Hope75]

Well i can see the funny side to it, its hardly crime of the century now is it?!

 

I really dont think you're gonna get in trouble over this, just imagine "miss i am arresting you on suspicion of putting condoms on a parked vehicle!" Total waste of police time, im sure the police have bigger fish to fry! Anyway isnt it illegal to infect people with HIV? Thats what this guy could be doing in the near future if he shags about and refuses to wear condoms!

 

He's obviously going to know it was you, so good luck keeping a straight face next time you see him.

 

She consented to having sex with him. I don't think she said that she actually had sex without a condom... but she did in fact consent to have sex with him.

 

The truth is whether or not it is equivocal to a more serious crime or not, it is still vandalism.

 

Her message was clear alright- though I don't think it was the message she intended to send.

[Batya33]

It's illegal to infect people if you don't disclose it in advance. If she thought he was committing a crime she could have reported him. Her intention was not to make other women safe, it was to lash out at him.

[blender]

I think maybe she as really just diappointed in her own choice to get involved with him in the first place. After all why would you willingly get invovled with a guy who says, "I don't want a relationship and I can make you have sex with me without a condom if I want to".

 

I think for now the real life lesson here is for her to stay away from him, learn from all this, and remember to treat her mind, heart and body with respect and to NEVER get involved with any guy who talks to her this way from the very start... no matter how "attracted" you may feel... that is a "feeling" and you have to combine "feelings/facts/selfrespect" before you get involved with anyone. And the FACT is he was NEVER worthy of her.. and now it's time to no longer give any of her energy or attention, negative or positive towards him. Change her yoga class, stay away, gain a sense of self, and look inside her own heart to heal, grow and learn from all this.

 

It's not about teaching HIM a lesson, it's about learning YOUR OWN lesson concerning your own choices and behavior.. she's growing up.. and hopefull will not choose to get invovled with someone like this guy ever again, and will not choose to "act on" her feelings of anger by "doing something to a guys car or whatever" but instead work through those feelings on her own with help from friends, family, a therapist, or even taking time to just "feel the feelings" and let them pass but do NOT choose to re-act to them....

[agualibre777]

Yes, Blender, it's true. I didn't want to have sex with him initially. Initially I wouldn't even let him kiss me!! But he kept trying to seduce me, I kept saying no, but by saying no I was practically encouraging his pursuit of me. Like oh, no, please don't! It just made him try harder. Until I actually had sex with him and then he was like... been there, done that! What a jerk.

 

So yes, he didn't say he'd manipulate me until new years eve, that's when he said that, and he somehow still didn't see it was wrong even when i talked to him about it! He said he was just showing he had confidence in himself! HAH! Honestly, prior to that, I thought he was like the most amazing guy I'd met, smart, sexy, actually able to understand me and communicate with me on the same level. Educated. I thought with all the connection and energy in our conversations he was interested in more than sex, because in experience, most men that just want sex don't conversate so much. Our telephone conversations were HOURS long, sometime til 2 or 3 in the morning.

 

No, the real deceiving thing about all of this is that when I said we shouldn't have sex anymore, I also said I highly valued our friendship. We tried to be friends (or at least I did) but the sexual attraction was still there. I don't know how I could have oversaw the whole comment about manipulation but somehow I just let it go, despite how much it bothered me. I told him I wanted him to be on MY side, on OUR side, that to be friends we couldn't be having sex. But my saying no once again encouraged him to try and seduce me. But the thing is when I finally made it clear that we were to have no more sex, he said to me he cared about me, wanted to be friends and that we were connected and so on. But just one week later lied to me about coming over and was playing games and then flirted with a girl knowing it would hurt me. He was lying about being friends and valuing me. In retrospect, it ALL was a lie.

 

 

Now he's embarrassed, keeps coming to the yoga class even though the girl ignores him too. But he is coming because I don't want him to come and asked him not too. Just like he wanted to have sex with me when I didn't want to. It's his personality type. He is continuing to come just to bother me. I have a very tight strict schedule with work and volunteering and school and these are the only classes that fit in my schedule with yoga studios that are affordable to me!!! HE should change. I am not changing because I can't. I'm just going to try and get there earlier, put my yoga mat in a corner next to my friends, not look at him the entire time, get out of there fast without having to run into him. Believe me I'm totally 100% OVER him, when I look at him he isn't even sexy to me anymore. How CAN he be???

 

He still has my picture and should give it back, but I'm not going to bother asking him for it because that would mean I'd have to contact him. Guess it's just a lost piece of art...

[musicguy]

I find it kind of funny, I don't think that she was purposely wanting to wreck his car, she taped condoms to his windshield, basically telling him to use condoms it's not like he CAN'T get them off of his windshield

[DizzyDoris]

Exactly musicguy! No damage was done, im not condoming i mean condoning it, but it was hardly a major crime!

[agualibre777]

I really dont think you're gonna get in trouble over this, just imagine "miss i am arresting you on suspicion of putting condoms on a parked vehicle!" Total waste of police time, im sure the police have bigger fish to fry! Anyway isnt it illegal to infect people with HIV? Thats what this guy could be doing in the near future if he shags about and refuses to wear condoms!

 

Hahahaha I know it's funny. It's not vandalism anymore than someone putting pieces of paper advertising events on your car is vandalism.

[agualibre777]

im not condoming i mean condoning it

 

Hahaha, that's cute!! I might start using that expression! ;P

[agualibre777]

it was to lash out at him.

I think that's a misinterpretation. Lash out?? Lashing out is keying a car. Condoming a car is FUNNY.

[DizzyDoris]

Hahahaha I know it's funny. It's not vandalism anymore than someone putting pieces of paper advertising events on your car is vandalism.

 

I was going to put something like this myself about flyers on windscreens. Yeah they're annoying (but not illegal as far as im aware) because you have to remove them, so he'd be pretty annoyed at having to peel 14 rubbers off the screen!

 

Obviously not everyone here is amused (oh well) i think this thread is funny! You've made your point. I presume your not going to have any further contact, or play any more pranks on him? I really dont see the big deal here!