longhaircats Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 I should get used to this, but I just hate the fact that I'm alone on a Friday night. When I was in a relationship, I loved being alone on a Friday night (I had a living-in boyfriend) and enjoyed a glass of wine just for myself with my favourite TV shows or dramas. I've been single for several months now, and I tried to keep myself busy, but I was just thinking, I had too much of this. Friday night used to be my favourite time, but now I am not so sure. I made new friends in the new city over the past 3 mo, but I still feel like I don't belong here. I need to go out to make friends, I know I know. Just wondering what do you do to make yourself happy in a situation like this. Am I the only one feeling like this? I feel a lot better now than few weeks ago, but am having just another lonleny Friday night...sigh. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 I know how you feel. I haven't recently broke up with anyone, but I moved to this city for graduate school and never really found my niche. I had a good friend here that I usually go out with at least once a weekend, but it's the only thing I can count on. It was such a hard transition for me to go from active social live in undergrad to a much less active one in grad school. What I've learned to do is just keep busy. I kind of expect to stay in one night of the weekend. Luckily school work fills up that time and I really should be staying in, and that helps a lot. Why don't you call up one of those friends and ask them to go out to dinner or a movie? It's still relaxing but you get to be a little social at the same time. Another idea is to pick up a solo hobby that you really love to do. I'm a knitter and just started a new scarf and I'm actually excited about spending a lot of time knitting this weekend. Hope this helps some! Link to comment
AzureSkyes69 Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Don't feel badly.I am in the same boat..and I am supposed to be with someone (go figure)and I am alone... I usually rent a movie or talk to a friend on the phone I have not talked to in awhile,or a call a friend and see if they are avalible to hang out. Recently I have noticed in myself I am not minding it so much. I have a night to myself to do whatever I want to do have a couple glasses of wine,write poetry,write in my journal..or just listen to my favorite music.Time for myself..prehaps I will have a nice bubble bath tonight ,pamper yourself do something nice for u. Link to comment
longhaircats Posted January 26, 2007 Author Share Posted January 26, 2007 Hey Daligal83, Thanks for your reply. I too came here for a graduate school, but it's in a different country and the school sytems here are quite different from those in the US. I'm doing my own research (solitary PhD student) here, and I don't have to take lectures. I worked from home today and I feel like I'm a monk in a mountain to decipline myself by cutting out all the human contacts. I'm very social person and am not usually like this. I'm gonna go out tomorrow night with my new friends, but I just don't want to bother them all the time. I wanted to go swimming, but the gym at school closes at 7pm, assuming that ordinally people would have plans on Friday night! Link to comment
longhaircats Posted January 26, 2007 Author Share Posted January 26, 2007 Hey Kleopatra71, I actually had a nice herb buth for myself and it was nice. I watched the sex and the city dvd for an hour after that, but I stopped because it reminded me of my ex (he gave me the whole 6 seasons as my birthday gift, and we watched them together often)..... I had a nice red curry (ready made) for dinner and am on the 3rd glass of wine. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Do you like to read? That can really pass the time if you get sucked into a book. Have you thought about signing up for a class in your new city? I'm sure you're really busy with your research, but it might be worth the effort to find some sort of class (exercise, art, book club) where you'd be able to meet people that you already know have a similar interest. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 What kind of volunteer work or community service do you do, since you have so much time on your hands? Are there lessons - cooking, French, etc you are interested in pursuing? Link to comment
longhaircats Posted January 26, 2007 Author Share Posted January 26, 2007 I do like to read. I have a pile of books and papers that I have to read, and am feeling pressured, yet I haven't been able to concentrate on them. Any good books that you recommend on a day like this?? Link to comment
longhaircats Posted January 26, 2007 Author Share Posted January 26, 2007 I want to take piano lessons and French conversation. I started swiming and Aikido already. But none of them are scheduled on Friday night! Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 I recently finished The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards. GREAT book! I was completely sucked in. It's about this doctor who delivers his own baby, but it turns out to be twins. He immediately realizes one of them has Down's Syndrome and tells the nurse to take her to an institution (this is on the 70's). Instead, she disappears with the child and raises her on her own. Again, amazing book. I read a lot of Oprah's book club books and love them. Anything by Jody Picoult is great. I've read My Sister's Keeper (amazing) and Vanishing Acts. My Sister's Keeper is about a family with three kids. The middle child has cancer and they had the youngest girl inorder to use her embilical cord to treat the older one. From then on, whenever the girl got sick the younger sister would go through a medical procedure to save her. Then she decides to be empancipated (sp?) from her parents so she doesn't have to do this anymore. There's a great twist to this. Vanishing Acts is about a woman who thinks her mother is dead, then as an adult finds out that she's alive. A really long book but a great read is I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb. It's 900 pages but I was honestly sad when I finished it. It's about twin brothers and one is schizophrenic. I don't know if these are the kinds of books that you like, but I highly recommend all of them. Link to comment
longhaircats Posted January 26, 2007 Author Share Posted January 26, 2007 Hi Daligal83, Wow, sounds like all of them are very interesting. I will go to a book store tomorrow and check. I used to love reading and forgot how fun it was. Too may text books these days! Thanks again for your recommendation! Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 No problem! Let me know which ones you get You said you signed up for swimming and Aikido already, have you met any people in those classes? Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Hey there... I am usually at home alone on friday night myself.. Feel free to catch a plane ride...I am cooking later! HA HA HA -SuperDave71 Link to comment
rocio Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 I'm alone too. Ever since I moved to the new city, I've spent the great majority of my Friday and Saturday nights alone. It used to bother me. Now I'm used to it. If I get really lonely, I order pay per view porn. Link to comment
longhaircats Posted January 26, 2007 Author Share Posted January 26, 2007 You said you signed up for swimming and Aikido already, have you met any people in those classes? Not really. But Aikido class may have a potential to make friends. For swimming, I usually swim about 30min vigorously and I am usually in my own little world I feel great though. SuperDave71, do you cook for yourself? I love cooking, but just don't feel like cooking a nice meal just for myself... hazey_amber, pay per view porn would be a good thing to enjoy when you are alone Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Since were on the topic of books I would like to recommend Stuart McLean's Vinyl Cafe. A collection of short tales, all light and funny. It got my mind off of things for a bit. Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 I'm alone too. Ever since I moved to the new city, I've spent the great majority of my Friday and Saturday nights alone. It used to bother me. Now I'm used to it. If I get really lonely, I order pay per view porn. Hoo Wah! Link to comment
HDD Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 i usually rent a bunch of movies and snuggle up in bed and munch on a plate of snacks Try renting comedy, suspense thrillers and family themed movies. those usually do the trick. I am watching Lady in the Water tonight (the M. Night Shyamalan one). Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 HDD, is "Lady in the Water" a good movie? Always wanted to see that movie. I dont usually do much on a Friday night when I have no one in my life. I may hang out with some friends (but now my friends live two hours north of me) or just be by myself, go grab food, hang on here, or go drive around. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Why don't you cook a lot of food and freeze it so you can eat a nice home cooked meal on days when you don't have time to cook? I've made it my new years resolution to do that once a week and so far so good! Unfortunately I'm not much of a cook and I've only got one more recipe left that I already know how to make haha. Link to comment
HDD Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 hey longhaircats, hope you had a good evening? how did you spend it? i went and ate dinner with my best friend and we both saw Lady in the water and its a pretty good movie. typical M. Night Shyamalan story. renaissancewoman, i think you will enjoy it. Good night everyone! Link to comment
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