CaliGirl77 Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Okay, quick summary here - - - this guy (he lives 15 minutes away from me) and I have gone on a couple dates and snowboarding, we had FUN, no questions asked. We are not exclusive, just dating, but here's where it gets interesting........ The day after snowboarding, he sends me a text message and it says, "U R only 45 minutes to an hour from me, maybe I can come see you this week? Hangout or Dinner?" Of course, I HAD to reply with, " What?" His reply was that he meant for that text to go to his sister and she moved again and is having major drama and he had so much fun with me yesterday. Okay, I was annoyed. I know it is none of my business, but he just made it my business by accidentally sending me that text, and I am no idiot. One thing I cannot stand is for soemone to lie to me and then throw salt into the wound by TRYING to insult my intelligence. I replied with, "I had a great time yesterday, thank you. Please do not contact me anymore." And he replies with , "Huh?" - - no response from me, and then he sends another text that says, "what are you talkin about?".........and he finishes it with, "If thats what you want. Bye" No call, nothing, only impersonal text messages made up of a big lie. I am sorry, but I need to vent to whoever will listen. This sucks. He seemed so great and I feel like he messed up by accidentally letting me know he is dating around (again, not my business, but that accident was a bad one and it ruined our good time), and then he REALLY MESSED UP by lying to me. His sister?, please! I felt like asking if he usually asks his sister out on dates!!!???? Was I wrong?? Was I outta line???? What shall I do now??? He works with me and has to come in my office to sign paperwork!!! How do I act? What do I say????? Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Nope Cali...your reply was absolutely right!!!! What a jerk!!!! A date with his sister????? LOL I have heard it all now!!! Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Some gut feeling tells me you were a little quick to act, but thats normal in the heat of annoyance. Thats sounds SO much like something I would do. Talk to him in person. If you think you we outta line, tell him so. Link to comment
CaliGirl77 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 I listened to my gut and I knew that story was completely OFF. He is a jerk! But it sucks that we work together. I am not sure how to act or what to say when he comes in.?????? It's just too bad, cuz he LOST, in my eyes. Link to comment
puff.tm.dragon Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 What if he was telling the truth? Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 The sister thing does sound fishy...but its life. Dating is a hard game to play. Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 I am not sure how to act or what to say when he comes in.?????? Act like you couldn't care less, IMO. It's just too bad, cuz he LOST, in my eyes. Sounds like he did! Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Yea, maybe he was being honest? It isnt like yall are "dating dating" so why would he need to lie about that? Besides, what he said could have really been to his sister, or even a really close friend he considers a sister. Link to comment
CaliGirl77 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 One more thing, that line he used ....."Hangout or dinner?" He used that on me, so I know it wasn't for his sister!! Besides, he told me he never sees his sister!!! HE GOT BUSTED!!!!!! ..........now what???? I work with him!!! Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Now you're work colleagues...be work colleagues. Did you two sleep together? Link to comment
CaliGirl77 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 Yes, we did sleep together!!! Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Thing is you guys weren't exclusive, just "dating" so, in a way, what he did wasnt wrong per se. But what he did was tacky to say the least. I dunno. Like you, I would probably be upset too. Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Cali....you just be completely cold and businesslike...no idle chitchat.He'll get the clue. Besides..if he was THAT innocent, he would have made MORE of an effort to prove it to you, than just saying .."ok bye"............ Ugh....give me his number and I'll text him something REALLY nice!!!! LOL Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 One more thing, that line he used ....."Hangout or dinner?" He used that on me, so I know it wasn't for his sister!! Besides, he told me he never sees his sister!!! HE GOT BUSTED!!!!!! ..........now what???? I work with him!!! It could have been a really good friend, i'm just sayin this because I know alot of guy friends who use that line as well and ti doesnt always mean a "date". Besides, it isn't like yall have a long drawn out relationship and everything, be civilized work colleagues you're both obviously mature adults act like that way in the work place. Link to comment
Newo Ikkin Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Ahh...slightly more complicated. But all the same...you are work colleagues now. Be the better part and keep things normal. And when times are hard, you can make fun of his willy in the office to yourself. Link to comment
need2bme Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 He may have just wanted to protect your feelings. Why not just tell him that you know that you two are not yet exclusive and you understand that he may be dating other people. Then tell him that "dinner" will be fine, since he felt he couldn't talk to you and you guys will see where it goes from there. If you no longer want to see him, then just act as if nothing happened, when you two are at work together. Link to comment
CaliGirl77 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 Cali....you just be completely cold and businesslike...no idle chitchat.He'll get the clue. Besides..if he was THAT innocent, he would have made MORE of an effort to prove it to you, than just saying .."ok bye"............ Ugh....give me his number and I'll text him something REALLY nice!!!! LOL I agree with you Lady........we will see. He was supposed to come in on Monday, but never did. I think he is waiting for me to calm down, or he is a chicken. Either way, I will TRY my hardest to not throw my stapler at him. This whole thing seems so ridiculous! My dating adventures continue......... Link to comment
CaliGirl77 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 Ahh...slightly more complicated. But all the same...you are work colleagues now. Be the better part and keep things normal. And when times are hard, you can make fun of his willy in the office to yourself. Professional. I will be just that. Link to comment
Siriana Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 You've done the right thing. Just be cool and professional with him. Don't discuss that with him. Link to comment
fnlyfrei Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Yeah...tha non-exclusivity mixed with sleeping together never sat right with me...I get too attached emotionally. I once dated someone and slept over...in the morning before he awoke someone was pounding on his door and I heard a female voice yell some expletives beginning with eff and ending with YOU!!!...I felt so weird. It's one thing to kinda know that you arent the only one...it's another to be sure you aren't. I decided to only date one person at a time after that. I personally can't deal. Everyone is different though. Link to comment
CaliGirl77 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 I just want to clarify with everyone real quick. I wasn't attached to him emotionally. I knew we were not exclusive, thereforeeee FREE to date whomever. I considered him a friend who I had a so much fun hanging out with and obviously we had a very strong sexual attraction for one another and ended up in bed. I do not own him and visa versa.........so here's what makes me MAD..... The dumb, stupid lie = he thinks I am dumb = MAD CaliGirl. Sorry, but I needed to clarify. Thank you for everyone's insights. I greatly appreciate it very much!!!! Link to comment
fnlyfrei Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Ssoo..if he would have just said...oops, I was sending a message to someone else...sorry ! Instead of claiming it was his supposed sister...you would have been perfectly alright with that? Link to comment
DN Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Are you sure it was just the lie? It wasn't that big a lie (if it was a lie at all) and it could have been said to spare your feelings or be cause he was embarrassed and it was the first thing he thought of to say. I just don't quite understand why you are so upset if you have no feelings for him and don't want exclusivity. Link to comment
CaliGirl77 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 Ssoo..if he would have just said...oops, I was sending a message to someone else...sorry ! Instead of claiming it was his supposed sister...you would have been perfectly alright with that? Yes, very much so. Like I said, it's really not my business. Then it would have been an "honest mistake" and we would still be hanging out. Link to comment
CaliGirl77 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 Are you sure it was just the lie? It wasn't that big a lie (if it was a lie at all) and it could have been said to spare your feelings or be cause he was embarrassed and it was the first thing he thought of to say. I just don't quite understand why you are so upset if you have no feelings for him and don't want exclusivity. I can only think of this.......I am the type of person who gets offended when people treat me like I am dumb - and people who are not honest with me. I guess it's too much to expect the same from others........ Oh, by the way, I didn't say I DIDN'T WANT to be exclusive, I UNDERSTOOD and acknowledged that we are not exclusive.......sorry if I didn't get that accross right. Link to comment
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