iwishiknew Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 This is my second week of school and I notice there are alot of pretty girls on campus..Everytime I am walking to my class I see a few cute girls and everytime I look at them with eye contact they don't look back at me and they just turn their head away..I notice that alot with different girls when I go to my classes..What does that tell me? They are not interested? They don't find any attraction in me? They think I am ugly? Comments please.
Dako Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Maybe hey're just uncomfortable with that. Are you talking to them or just staring?
Reluctant Rebuilder Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Depends. Are you looking casually or leering like a weirdo?
real2 Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Doesn't mean anything. It's the same response as if a girl were to look you in the eyes as you walked down the hall, and you looked away to prevent a conspicuous aura.
iwishiknew Posted January 25, 2007 Author Posted January 25, 2007 Yes I smile and I look at them for a few secs..I don't stare at them thinking I am a weirdo, I would think I would get at least a smile or a smurk..If a girl would look at me with a smile, I would smile back and make eye contact
cantexplain Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Do you feel these specific women are already recognizing you and turning away? If so maybe they do have the weebie jeebies. If you are a shy guy you may be looking too much. They know you are interested but not smiling or taking the initiative. Now they would not respect you. Its beter to keep your interest under wraps as much as possible until you are talking. Another thing I thought about is they probably would not be too attracted to a boy checking out numerous pretty women and obviously. Be more picky. They will feel more special. At this stage it is not about looks. A great smile will start most conversations. In my experience if I meet eyes with a woman twice, and I smile and she smiles, it is time to meet. She may be a nice person to start for me to start to know. If you make it about her knowing you it will be a turn-off I think. I am no expert, but I think women are far superior when it comes to this kind of stuff than most guys. Women notice us out of the corner of their eyes. By the time they are exchanging glances and smiles, we may likely be of some definite interest to them - as a friend, a study partner, a brainiac in class she respects, even possibly a romantic interest - who knows? I say learn from them. Notice them out of the corner of your eyes. Look away when they catch you. (But don't look away and directly at other women by all means) Smile the second time. Approach. Talk. Be real. If she rejects you be glad, this means you can move on to someone who is interested in you and to whom you also will have interest. Also, there may be some other women you are not noticing because you are noticing the ones everyones keying in on. Some other women may be more wonderful for you and become the most beautiful person you ever imagined. A lot of girls your age haven't learned this - indeed a few my age haven't either. But if they have any kind of nice ring on their left ring finger I assume they are communicating to guys they are taken. I am one of those guys who will not chase a woman devoted to another guy. Its a guy honor thing. This may eliminate a few of these pretty girls as dating prospects for you.
Beec Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 OK, eye contact followed by a look down can indicate some interests, but it's not enough to just go on. And even if it did, You cannot just rush up to her then and ask her out. You should begin to pass by these girls and not look at them until you are close to them, then make eye contact as you pass them and say hi or good morning and smile slightly confidently, and then keep walking. Then some days, don't say anything to them, ignore them. Make them miss your greating for one day, and watch how they are really looking for it, just look preoccupied when you do it. Then go back and do it again the next time you see them. Soon, they will be dying to talk to you, and you're on the way.
Kevin T Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 OK, eye contact followed by a look down can indicate some interests, but it's not enough to just go on. And even if it did, You cannot just rush up to her then and ask her out. I would. lmao
Beec Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I would. lmao Yes, and if you did, the answer would be "No," so don't do it anymore. Take your time, act confident.
Kevin T Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 That tactic won't work if you only see someone once and that's it. You have to seize each opportunity while it's there, lest it be gone the next day.
Beec Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Well for a walk-by and get a contact detail (number, email) and do it just as a once off, in and out in ten minutes, you had better be good. Few guys are that good. I've had my moments and done it, but you really need to have confidence to do it.
Kevin T Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I suppose. I recommend just getting the number, nothing else. Asking her out... on the spot seems so tacky, since you barely know the woman. Come on, Beec... I was able to do it! Am I really that good? lol You know how I was last week!!
Beec Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I suppose. I recommend just getting the number, nothing else. Asking her out... on the spot seems so tacky, since you barely know the woman. Come on, Beec... I was able to do it! Am I really that good? lol You know how I was last week!! Well, you either simply did not care about rejection at the time or you felt confident, and frankly, that's all you need. It's like the magic corn the Winter Worlock gave to Dancer and Prancer, it can make you fly.
cantexplain Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 body language stuff: if you look down it means you are shy if you look to the side it means you are interested elsewhere. so if you want them to know you are interested, but caught looking, look down. and if you want to be more aloof, cool guy, then look to the side - but don't look at another woman when you glance to the side, I say. Of course we can always roll our eyes up (jk)
Kevin T Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Well, you either simply did not care about rejection at the time or you felt confident, and frankly, that's all you need. It's like the magic corn the Winter Worlock gave to Dancer and Prancer, it can make you fly. Both, actually. I decided to just go for it. So I'm scared... [bleep] that. I'll just do it anyway. So I did. And after a couple tries, the cockiness just was there (I think it was always there. lol Just hiding under some shyness.) After that, it was a cinch! Just believe in yourself, and you'll be amazed how far it'll go! Though I am sure you already know that little secret.
cantexplain Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Kevin T tactic won't work if you only see someone once and that's it. You have to seize each opportunity while it's there, lest it be gone the next day." I agree - sometimes it is right to just seize the day. But if you share a class or see them at the same time everyday I'd use the opportunity to generate some interest and low-level bonding with glances, smiles, and the eventual chat which leads to a phone number. I also think it is helpful to get a number so that phone conversations can occur (no more than three or four before asking for a date) as you chat and get to know one another. That way the first date really is a first date - not like some Internet-generated reality check.
Kevin T Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I agree - sometimes it is right to just seize the day. But if you hsare aclass or see them at the same time everyday I'd use the opportunity to generate some interest with glances, smiles, and the eventual chat whcih leads to a phone number. I also think it is helpful to get a number so that phone conversations can occur (no more than three or four before asking for a date) as you chat and get to know one another. That way the first date really is a first date - not like some Internet-generated reality check. Exactly; either that or die alone, right? lol I finally made the right decision! But I disagree with the second part. I would find it to be too much work, of a bother and a hassle to go through all the motions with someone from class. I've done that before- got myself all worked up over someone, only to have waited too long and lost her interest. Well... never again! Internet-generated...? I'm lost...
flutterbywngs Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 body language stuff: if you look down it means you are shy if you look to the side it means you are interested elsewhere. so if you want them to know you are interested, but caught looking, look down. and if you want to be more aloof, cool guy, then look to the side - but don't look at another woman when you glance to the side, I say. Of course we can always roll our eyes up (jk) I agree with the body language stuff. I started thinking about your question...I mean, I do that all the time when a guy makes eye contact with me. I suddenly become reeeally shy and automatically look down. It's an instant reaction for me. I also realized that the guy I see in the elevator everyday does the same thing to me Funny huh!
Beec Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Both, actually. I decided to just go for it. So I'm scared... [bleep] that. I'll just do it anyway. So I did. And after a couple tries, the cockiness just was there (I think it was always there. lol Just hiding under some shyness.) After that, it was a cinch! Just believe in yourself, and you'll be amazed how far it'll go! Though I am sure you already know that little secret. Yes, I do and would, but it worked to the exent that I am taken.
cantexplain Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Exactly; either that or die alone, right? lol I finally made the right decision! But I disagree with the second part. I would find it to be too much work, of a bother and a hassle to go through all the motions with someone from class. I've done that before- got myself all worked up over someone, only to have waited too long and lost her interest. Well... never again! Internet-generated...? I'm lost... Internet generated means to me any person I meet on the Internet. These people I need to see, know she is real. Even phone contact does not get me to the point of being able to feel like opening up with an Internet-generated romantic prospect. To me, the ideal FIRST date is one in which both people know a bit about one another and are both exploring the start of a romantic process. Because on the Internet we could be talking to ANYONE - and we don't exchange eye contact, body language, smiles, intonation, and oh - let's not forget SMELLS! - the first encounter is not a date in my book. Its a reality check. I'm with you on the class thing. Actually, I have a rule NOT to allow myself to become attracted to people in a classroom situation or at work in my immediate department. My performance in these settings is my first priority - and good grades and work performance are two things we carry with us into all of our future encounters. If the attraction is substantive and mutual -it will last and can be picked-up at the end of the semester or some other point where the timing is again right.
cantexplain Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I agree with the body language stuff. I started thinking about your question...I mean, I do that all the time when a guy makes eye contact with me. I suddenly become reeeally shy and automatically look down. It's an instant reaction for me. I also realized that the guy I see in the elevator everyday does the same thing to me Funny huh! Knowledge of body language is great stuff. I can look down and simply feel "shyness" - this feeling probably also compounded by this awareness of what such a glance may mean. I can also look to the side and can feel aloofness. So if we are not deceptive people at heart using this knowledge is just a way of communicating non-verbally with others - and to ourselves. For example -- Say I am attracted to someone and am shy. Then another part of me may kick-in and say, "dog gone it, I am not going to let my shyness run this show -- I am going to be stronger and at the very least a bit more aloof and sure of myself." So she catches me checking her out and I force myself to look away instead of down. It is hard. It is awkward. But my strength is enforced and my own feelings of self are changing in relation to this woman who previously my knees were just buckling underneath me when I saw her. Its wild. Soon I might just go up and start talking.
Kevin T Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Oh, I see. I agree with you about the internet part. I strongly discourage net dating, but that's me, so for all of you who want to do it, have fun! lol I have no problem dating someone from class, but I don't waste time trying to charm girls in class, to work up to asking them out. Either I express interest (new for me!) and it goes somewhere, or they are uninterested, and I move on right away. Nothing lost, really.
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