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how do i overcome this problem


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i am a girl, and i'm not fat and not skinny, i'm what my dad says a petite happy medium. i eat a LOT when at home or with family or friends but am about 120 lbs at 5'5". but whenever i'm around the guy i like i just don't feel comfortable eating. whenever he asks about eating i give some lame excuse for why i can't eat. i just feel so awkward and umcomfortable, which is weird because i am totally comfortable doing pretty much anything else around him. i don't know what i'm afraid of but when i have tried eating in front of him it was just so uncomfortable. anyone else feel this? any advice to overcome it?

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Why do you feel self-conscious eating around him?

 

I know that's effectively what you're asking, but seriously, think about it. Are you worried that he'll start to think you're getting fat? You said yourself that you're a healthy weight (and the BMI scale agrees), so it would seem your self-image isn't matching up with reality. Whether you eat or not isn't going to change how he thinks of you other than him wondering why if you don't eat. He's certainly not going to find eating unattractive; it's just something people do!

 

Maybe if he does ask about it again, you could talk to him about this. It might calm your fears a bit about what he's thinking.

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This happened to me a few times back in the day. Nervous, is all. Don't know why it showed up in a lack of appetite when the rest wasn't particularly nerve-racking.

 

What helped? Heh. I have a funny story about it, but I'll summarize. Was going out with a guy I really liked.

We went to a few restaurants that had my favorite food.

Barely could eat.

Went shopping and browsing and picked up some food I'd wanted to try for a long time.

Barely ate.

 

Then he took me out for ice cream. At a GREAT shop.

I got - I remember the flavour still - one scoop cherry cheesecake and two scoops triple chocolate.

I enjoyed that no problem.

He was like 'whoa, I've never seen you eat anything so fast and with so much passion! Damn girl you like ice cream."

 

Never had a problem after that with him.

 

So just pick something you know you have been able to eat even when hooked up to IVs or something of the like.

 

Worked for me anyways.

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guys i know i'm not fat, and i don't think it's because he'll think that i am getting fat. its nothing to do with fat. its the actual eating. the physical bringing something to your mouth and eating it. i realize he might think i'm weird if i refuse food all the time but that seems more comfortable than eating in front of him. i don't know what it is. its just awkward. thanks a lot to itsallgrand, that could work. he has offered things i really would like to eat but then i imagine doing it when he's watching and get too scared. its surprising because he isn't a real thin guy by any means, hes more average anyway. and its also surprising because i feel comfortable doing anything else. i don't know. this too shall pass i guess.

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You're far from heavy, so don't worry about eating in front of a guy.

 

But the part about being nervous, that I can understand. When you get nervous, eating anything can be a challenge. After some time, you should become more comfortable and able to chow down in front of males.

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Well, I think you need to think about it a bit more and figure out WHAT makes you nervous exactly? Is it associated with feeling like you're sending accross fat or gonna-be-fat messages? Or are you worried about eating messily? Or do you feel like he's just staring at you when you both have your mouths full?

 

I think if you can pinpoint the issue, you can find (or we can help you find) a way to make you feel more comfortable.

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