Raiden Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 I'm missing school a lot, I don't go out much, I spend way too much time here (it's true) How little is "much"? Link to comment
Kevin T Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 How little is "much"? At this point, rarely at all. I've been depressed, and have lost motivation to do anything really. It's like, "What's the point?" Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Hey Kevin, What happened? You were so upbeat only a couple days ago! Power through Kev, power through ... I am trying to too... Link to comment
Kevin T Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 Hey Kevin, What happened? You were so upbeat only a couple days ago! Power through Kev, power through ... I am trying to too... Ellie, reality happened. It ambushed me with a sneak attack from behind, when I least expected it. I'm fine as long as I don't go out. Like today, was supposed to go out, but I slept in instead. Now I don't have to be put into an even worse mood (which is good). Link to comment
Raiden Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 At this point, rarely at all. I've been depressed, and have lost motivation to do anything really. It's like, "What's the point?" If I understand your current state of mind (which, btw, sounds spookily like mine was for quite a time up until recently): Force yourself into your local bar/favourite social hotspot, and have a drink or two with a few friends. Whether there's female presense and they're interested in you is irrelevant. Don't get me wrong, I probably spend way too much time on the Internet too, but one has to get things in balance. Link to comment
Kevin T Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 If I understand your current state of mind (which, btw, sounds spookily like mine was for quite a time up until recently): Force yourself into your local bar/favourite social hotspot, and have a drink or two with a few friends. Whether there's female presense and they're interested in you is irrelevant. Don't get me wrong, I probably spend way too much time on the Internet too, but one has to get things in balance. I already covered this in my first post (though I am grateful for your advice), but I don't drink. This is one problem right there. I'm not into going to bars or clubs at all. I wish I were, then there would be little problem. Anyway, I'll PM you a pic shortly. I was able to get a few new pics taken with my cell phone, so the quality may suck, but it'll give you a good idea of what we're dealing with here. Link to comment
Raiden Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 I don't drink. This is one problem right there. I'm not into going to bars or clubs at all. I wish I were, then there would be little problem. Your depression in general would certainly lift a little, yeah. If you don't drink then stick to soft drinks, perfectly acceptable. Link to comment
Kevin T Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 Your depression in general would certainly lift a little, yeah. If you don't drink then stick to soft drinks, perfectly acceptable. I would prefer someone who doesn't drink (or if she must, that it be absolutely minimal). Drunken antics don't sit well with me. lol Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Hey Kevin, Maybe we should brainstorm on how to pull ourselves out of our realistic (pessimistic?) mindframe! Link to comment
Kevin T Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 Hey Kevin, Maybe we should brainstorm on how to pull ourselves out of our realistic (pessimistic?) mindframe! Ellie, I would much rather have the harsh truth than a comforting lie, to live by. Is deceiving ourselves really the only way to be happy? Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Ellie, I would much rather have the harsh truth than a comforting lie, to live by. Is deceiving ourselves really the only way to be happy? Me too! I dont want to get too comfortable in the "lie" only to have to deal with a rude awakening! That said, though, I have ALWAYS been realistic/pessimistic, but I have also experienced happiness. So I know we can have the happiness w/o having to deceive ourselves. I don't know how to recreate my past happiness in my current situation, though ... So if i may ask, what triggered your optimism a couple days ago? Maybe YOU can recreate yours, at least! I hope so! Link to comment
Raiden Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 I would prefer someone who doesn't drink (or if she must, that it be absolutely minimal). Drunken antics don't sit well with me. lol By "she" I assume that you assumed I was implying something about what to do on a date? No, I just meant a might out with your buddies... unless you have plutonic (spelling I know, it's late) girl friends? Link to comment
Kevin T Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 Me too! I dont want to get too comfortable in the "lie" only to have to deal with a rude awakening! That said, though, I have ALWAYS been realistic/pessimistic, but I have also experienced happiness. So I know we can have the happiness w/o having to deceive ourselves. I don't know how to recreate my past happiness in my current situation, though ... So if i may ask, what triggered your optimism a couple days ago? Maybe YOU can recreate yours, at least! I hope so! Staying indoors for two weeks straight, by not having contact with good looking girls triggered my good mood, I think. By "she" I assume that you assumed I was implying something about what to do on a date? No, I just meant a might out with your buddies... unless you have plutonic (spelling I know, it's late) girl friends? I know what you mean, but most of my good friends are all married family men, who hang out with their wives and families, not at the local pub. I have past acquaintances from work that drink like fish, but I have no desire to go to a bar (and I meant, I'd be looking for potential mates, wherever I go). Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 So was it the isolation that did it for ya? I don't know ... maybe we're crumbling under societal pressure that we have to be w/ someone? Hence it's the pressure that's depressing us more than anything? I think that may be my problem ... I try and succeed most of the time but some of the time I fail to block it out and then allow it to get me down ... That's my analysis of my problem anyway, lol ... don't know how valid it is, though ... Link to comment
Kevin T Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 So was it the isolation that did it for ya? I don't know ... maybe we're crumbling under societal pressure that we have to be w/ someone? Hence it's the pressure that's depressing us more than anything? I think that may be my problem ... I try and succeed most of the time but some of the time I fail to block it out and then allow it to get me down ... That's my analysis of my problem anyway, lol ... don't know how valid it is, though ... No, I liked being with someone. I miss that closeness and all that good junk. What's wrong with that? I'll tell you: Nothing. It's constantly seeing beautiful girls and being reminded that I'm alone, yet there are countless girls I'd kill to have a shot with. It's having that rubbed in my face that depresses me. It's also seeing lovey-dovey couples walking down the street, holding hands, kissing, all that PDA nonsense. It rouses envy for me. I think, "What the hell?! I used to have that!" Then I just feel all the worse. So isolation is the key to happiness for me. Link to comment
Kevin T Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 I whole-heartedly believe in absolute truth. You'll never break me of that faith. Sorry. I am very sensitive. My feelings get hurt very easily. Do you not call that "sensitive?" Because that's what it is. I do, however, see your progress. Come back to me after you've gotten the girl you wanted, then I'll listen. Heh, just you wait... In a short while, I'll have silenced every one of you naysayers when I show you a recent pic. lol Be patient. Link to comment
texami Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 (and I meant, I'd be looking for potential mates, wherever I go). ok... how can we figure out how to STOP that!!!! geeze... if you were doing ANYTHING 24/7 you would be miserable!!! It's not breathing, man... you don't have to do it all the time!! you've gotta figure out how to at least push that thought down a bit. I'll refer back to my other suggestion of focusing on something else. don't go out "looking for a mate"... go out and do something else that can divert your attention. this is a cliche... but i swear from experience it is true. when you stop "looking", someone will find you. yeah, i know... it sounds like more of the same, but it's completely true. Link to comment
Kevin T Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 (and I meant, I'd be looking for potential mates, wherever I go). ok... how can we figure out how to STOP that!!!! geeze... if you were doing ANYTHING 24/7 you would be miserable!!! It's not breathing, man... you don't have to do it all the time!! you've gotta figure out how to at least push that thought down a bit. I'll refer back to my other suggestion of focusing on something else. don't go out "looking for a mate"... go out and do something else that can divert your attention. this is a cliche... but i swear from experience it is true. when you stop "looking", someone will find you. yeah, i know... it sounds like more of the same, but it's completely true. What irony... You say, "The only way you can get what you want, is to stop wanting it." Well, I guess we can be certain I'll never get what I want then, huh? Link to comment
texami Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 "looking" and "wanting" are different. "seeking" and "not avoiding" are different. Link to comment
miracle29 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 So basically what you're saying is "I don't really want advice, I just want to do the whoa is me dance". Well good luck buddy, I'm not into walking around grown people by the hands! Link to comment
Kevin T Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 So basically what you're saying is "I don't really want advice, I just want to do the whoa is me dance". Well good luck buddy, I'm not into walking around grown people by the hands! Don't quit your day job. Honestly, the lack of compassion by some people here astounds me. But whatever. I already stated I didn't want sympathy. But maybe if someone actually provided some USEFUL advice, then we'd be in business. Telling me to change something I can't and arguing with me about something I know I'm right about, is pointless. Link to comment
Kevin T Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 Sorry Ziggy, I didn't see your reply after the last woman's. I meant absolute truth along the lines of God, that sort of thing. Not necessarily how you interpretted it. I'd like to believe things can change, and who knows? Maybe they will; I don't know. I just had an awful feeling they won't. That's all. Yeah, it's hard to believe in yourself if you don't see a reason to. That's one of my biggest problems, for sure. But I think it's ridiculous that guys like us have to struggle, tooth and nail just to get something that comes so easily to the better looking guys. It's ridiculous, if you ask me. Anyway, I'll PM you a pic shortly. Link to comment
Kevin T Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 So, even after all that work, you're still the same insecure person you were before, eh? That's rough. That's why I'm so reluctant to put my fist to the plow. Link to comment
orangecounty Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 There are plenty of attractive people who are shy, I myself being one of them. The two have nothing to do with one another. I've always been shy, shyness has something to do with part of you brain not with the way you look. Heck, I'm 23 and I've never had a boyfriend. Messages like the one you wrote are so selfdefeating. If you think you'll fail, you will. I agree with the others, you're just setting yourself up. Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of pity parties for myself and it feels sometimes like I'll be single forever. But I've always had hope of meeting someone despite those thoughts. Because if you don't, you really are throwing it all out the window. Link to comment
.freedomlover. Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Attitude is EVERYTHING. No one wants to date a downer. Your personality really is the most important part, at least to girls who are really worth it. Focus on what you like about yourself, relax a little, smile around those you like, and let fate do the rest! good luck Link to comment
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