sam26 Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 i met a girl at a bar, she was cute, we started all weird by discussing something, but things started to move on and she started getting attracted to me(me too), things moved really fast and we started making out, we were really drunk.... time passed we talked alot with lil kisses in between, then it was time for me to leave, i told her that my friend was going to take me home and if i dont go with him i wont make it home and id be screwed.... she seriously wanted me to be with her.... i really couldnt be with her... i wanted to but i knew it wouldnt happen.... all the sudden a stranger listens to our conversation and gives me 10 dollars.... he says stay for her, and use this for your cab... i never thought there was somebody so nice to do such thing.... i didnt know how to thank him... i was so happy, it was cold and all that, she called a cab and took me to her house.... we slept together and it all happened, she always replied i hope you do, whenever i said i really like her alot... next day she was working and told me she was going to finish her job at 3 so i went there and she had a change of plans because her job stretched to 7 and she would be busy and tired... so after work she told me she wanted to sleep.... alright with that... after all that i dont know... my stomach hurts everytime i think about her... and i start going crazy about everything... shes leaving in 6 days(she told me at the bar) to another state in the same country but its damm far.... i knew that, i really wish her happiness and all good things.... i apologized for doing "you know what" on the same day... i felt really bad, i shouldnt had done that.... she seemed fine with it, but not me its not rite.... she read it and said it was fine and that she was really busy and all that... she told me she would add me and talk to me on msn.... she never added me, it was all today, we traded a few messages on myspace... she read my messages and did not answer the rest... was it a game? my friends said that at bars. theres many chicks who do one night stands and they are fine with it, to me it sounded cool but at this situation i really hope it wasnt that.... if it is... it was too real, it didnt smell like it didnt feel like it.... i am suffering rite now im making a big deal out of it... but it was really special, it was happiness... now i dont know how to deal with myself and i really wish i could just pass out, disconnect my cables so that i feel better... and forget whats happening.... it was all coincidence and it was all a miracle.... but eh, i guess i gotta get used to all this eh? i hope i can make my feelings and emotions disappear so that i dont have to suffer anymore Link to comment
shikashika Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 ok next time try and make some paragraphs... makes it easier to read Are you fine with it being a one night stand? of course Lots of girls like one night stands.. just as lots of guys do.. you never know... many relationships develop form one night stands... just as many relationships develop from people taking 8 months to 'get to know each other' or being friends for several years.. Most importantly... what do YOU want to happen??? Link to comment
sam26 Posted January 15, 2007 Author Share Posted January 15, 2007 i was dead serious about it and i believe she was too, i dont want it to be a one night, i was wondering if it was Link to comment
shikashika Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 i was dead serious about it and i believe she was too, i dont want it to be a one night, i was wondering if it was only one way to find out.. ask her!!! Link to comment
real2 Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 Im guessing that was your first one-night stand. To put it bluntly, you got nailed. She wants nothing to do with you. If she did, then her responses wouldnt be so abrupt. Sadly, Ive had this happen before. Met a fine girl at a bar, she was promiscuous enough to take home. Even got her msn like you did, but she became dodgy the next day, so after a couple hours I realized what had happened and what type of girl I was dealing with. The easiest fix I can suggest is get some porn and release that stress. Forget about her. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 i was dead serious about it and i believe she was too, i dont want it to be a one night, i was wondering if it was It's a good thing to keep in mind for next time - that you get attached through casual sex. Link to comment
sam26 Posted January 16, 2007 Author Share Posted January 16, 2007 called her and she told me that she wasnt serious and she was drunk, on the phone she was kinda quiet... all the words that she told me, all the things... cant believe it... is it like that or was she evil? sent her a last message expressing my feelings... told her i was sad. feel too bad to get a boner... cant just jump into porn yo! she slept in my arms, all that gone forever eh? i guess i gotta expect bullcrap from now on... cuz they are way too real... Link to comment
addictedblue Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 my opinion is that she wanted it to be a one night stand and didn't expect you to continue trying to get in contact or actually like her. it will hurt but just move on. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 called her and she told me that she wasnt serious and she was drunk, on the phone she was kinda quiet... all the words that she told me, all the things... cant believe it... is it like that or was she evil? sent her a last message expressing my feelings... told her i was sad. feel too bad to get a boner... cant just jump into porn yo! she slept in my arms, all that gone forever eh? i guess i gotta expect bullcrap from now on... cuz they are way too real... No - you are basing someone's feelings and your feelings based on less than 24 hours together - next time, watch the feet not the lips - what the person does not says - over a period of at least a few months of regular dating - that is how you get to know someone and to see whether the initial smitten or lusty feelings turn into something lasting and whether the person has the inner qualities you are looking for. You chose to get drunk and you chose to skip all the stages of getting to know someone over a period of a few months and instead to jump right into bed. You took the risk that it was a one night stand. She did nothing wrong - she never promised to see you again (no specific plans, right?) - she simply said what she felt in the moment, as did you. This has nothing to do with whether people are good or not or honest or not. She was honest - for that one night - and you knew she was drunk and took the risk that she wasn't giving a lot of thought to what she was saying. So, instead of being negative and having a pity party, take responsibility for your actions - it's fine to have casual sex, it's fine to have a one night stand, but to expect it to continue past that - and to blame the other person for misleading you into believing it was when nothing like that was said and you were both drunk - is unrealistic and unfair in my opinion. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Whoa tiger! It sounds like your emotions are moving WAY TOO FAST! Okay, so you both met, drunk, there was chemistry, you got a gift from a stranger and went home with this girl and had sex. Sounds like quite the night. No matter how fast things went sexually, IMO I think you started to move things on a bit too quick emotionally. Besides the fact that you are talking about your stomach hurting over this (yeesh!) you went to her work the very next day, kept conversing with her, trying to meet up, etc. This is not good. Very few people will be looking for something like this that quickly-even if they sleep with you the first night. It appears to them that you are already trying to get into a relationship with them and that is not something she appears to be interested in. Sex is one thing, commitment is another. I bet this woman enjoys her space and freedom, she's not trying to find a husband so quickly. You were pushing "let's start a relationship!" when she was still in, "This guy is cute and seems cool!" stage. When you push the angle you seemed to be pushing (with actions if not words) then it is a huge turn off. Besides, she's leaving in a few days anyway. Let this one go and learn the lesson. BTW, I don't care what she said that night or how much she seemed to like you, you still don't barge in and go to her work the very next day. Too much too soon, EVEN if she invited you. Link to comment
sam26 Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 well she told me that the next day she was alright and that we could chill... so i went and that was it, well its over now and i guess ill just let this one pass, she was serious when she told me about everything... guess i wont take it seriously from now on, thanks for the advice tho Link to comment
real2 Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 I like one night stands better than normal relationships. A normal one can warrent the frequent casual sex in its prime, but a one night stand doesnt have the calls and stomach quenchers. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 well she told me that the next day she was alright and that we could chill... so i went and that was it, well its over now and i guess ill just let this one pass, she was serious when she told me about everything... guess i wont take it seriously from now on, thanks for the advice tho It's not about not taking it seriously, it's about realizing that it is being said by one stranger to another and over time you will know whether those were fleeting feelings or solid ones. She did not lie - she told you what she was feeling at that moment about a near stranger - you. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 I like one night stands better than normal relationships. A normal one can warrent the frequent casual sex in its prime, but a one night stand doesnt have the calls and stomach quenchers. Hmm -except when the call comes about pregnancy (I assume you are a man but am not sure) or from your doctor or lab about an STD you picke dup. Link to comment
JulieW Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Please accept this rude answer to be coming from someone who's experienced this..... If you didn't want it to be a one night stand, you shouldn't have slept with her. Done. Link to comment
real2 Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Hmm -except when the call comes about pregnancy (I assume you are a man but am not sure) or from your doctor or lab about an STD you picke dup. Im a male, and having sex without a condom is absolutely out of the question. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Im a male, and having sex without a condom is absolutely out of the question. Condoms are not 100% effective against STDs or pregnancy. I assumed that a condom was being used. Link to comment
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