Mightyxpro Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 My gf thinks im gay... And she asked me tonight when we were sitting on the couch....I laughed hard...........than silence.... I had told he,r are you kidding. Gf r u gay? me: no gf your sure/...a awkward starring into the eyes... me will i be,,im not into the hole man on man thing...its too radical for me. gf: well last night when you where handling me....it seemed like you didn't want to get rough,and it seemed that you did get morning wood. me: this is ridiculous gf: well You just wanna feel me up.. me: im not nervous, but i am virgin..I have told you this in the beginning . and you know that close est i have ever gotten was not sex. gf: yea i know that you told me that. Im 19 and she is 16..Shes not a virgin. Shes nice and she says she cares for me.but i haven't yet told her that i love her..Shes has called me that more times than i can count.... I want to feel for her..but it just hasn't come yet. She said that she would wait for me to start jumping on the ball" Like i wanna go slow. in the relationship . She wants me to say "i love you" ,"i want you".."forever we be together"..but i just don't feel that way...And im not gonna take advantage of her and say those things without meaning it. I'm true to myself, no matter what the situation ...Ill always be the guy to take my trunk friends home..Ill be the guy to walk a girl home and let her cry on my shoulder and i will always have the utter most respect for girls...Thats the way i was taught and thats the way im gonna live my life.. So a little advice would help out... Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 You're doing fine! Her question just reflects her immaturity. She's still a kid and needs to learn a few things about the variety of men in the world. Men aren't all sex crazy, always horny or like rough play. You keep up with what you feel is good to you. If she feels the need to force you into things then maybe she's not right for you. Link to comment
charley Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 You're doing fine! Her question just reflects her immaturity. She's still a kid and needs to learn a few things about the variety of men in the world. Men aren't all sex crazy, always horny or like rough play. You keep up with what you feel is good to you. If she feels the need to force you into things then maybe she's not right for you. Good advice. Link to comment
Mightyxpro Posted January 11, 2007 Author Share Posted January 11, 2007 I hate that fact that she states" im in not like the rest of the girls...Im more mature for my age..Yea bs...why would you ask me if i was gay...If i was gay would i even be going out with you..I am HONEST all the TIME!...I have told her everything about me...So that right there is stupid of her to ask me if im gay.... Oh man maybe 16 is too young..What was i thinking... Link to comment
DeviousOne Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Maybe you are gay?...LOL j/p bro But in your situation you really seem like a nice guy which is great but I really think your being too nice bro. Its great that your that type of guy but it seems that she wants you to be a little more aggressive w/ her and the relationship not really rush anything but take the lead instead of just waiting for something to happen. I see you don't know if you have those feelings for her yet which is fine but instead of holding back waiting around be honest w/ yourself obviously you care about the girl since you don't want to say you love her back w/o really meaning it so you care honestly from yourself say that "I really care about you" it seems that she really loose when it comes to saying "i love you" and other things its just case shes young don't let that scare you or add pressure to yourself because of that... Bottom line what I'd do in this situation is just enjoy it be more aggressive as in take the lead in the relationship cause if she is questioning you if your gay...she must be feeling like she is throwing herself at you and your not responding they way she would want you to she is obviously diggin you so go for it enjoy it and those feelings if their going to be there will come in the mean time just be honest and more aggressive in the relationship i know its hard cause your a "nice" guy but even the nicest guy has urges so loosen up kinda be cocky and funny w/ her a lil bit she how she likes it... Link to comment
pregnantkitty_1985 Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Maybe 16 is too young for an adult nearing 20. Just my opinion. *shrug* Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Im with everyone else on this, while I was fairly mature at 16 and alot of teenagers are this girl doesn't sound like one of them. I'd rethink the whole relationship. Link to comment
Mightyxpro Posted January 11, 2007 Author Share Posted January 11, 2007 Well thats kinda odd DeviousOne. See she asked me today about last night , when we were getting close on why i kept on asking...Why......or like oh man..like whining....And truthfully I told her that i was doing it on purpose..Which i was...and if she wants me to be aggressive/ i can do that..its not a problem but i just want to go down a different route. ..See i can talk really dirty and be confident to say it loud and clear... Being the nice guy has gotten me a job with her dad and has gotten me my car and everything else.... but I still get nervous..Like a feeling that you haven't ate in like 3 days and you get shaky.... Link to comment
Dako Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Sounds almost like she's taunting you to prove yourself, but that's no way to treat a lover. She seems really immature and somewhat sneaky. Be careful. She may have worse ideas. Link to comment
DeviousOne Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Well thats kinda odd DeviousOne. See she asked me today about last night , when we were getting close on why i kept on asking...Why......or like oh man..like whining....And truthfully I told her that i was doing it on purpose..Which i was...and if she wants me to be aggressive/ i can do that..its not a problem but i just want to go down a different route. ..See i can talk really dirty and be confident to say it loud and clear... Being the nice guy has gotten me a job with her dad and has gotten me my car and everything else.... but I still get nervous..Like a feeling that you haven't ate in like 3 days and you get shaky.... Like i said bro it just seems that she wants you to be more aggresive and nothing wrong w/ being a nice guy but there are times to be nice obviously you know that but probably feels like your being too nice sometimes and that can be a turn off for her and lead to other bad things down the road like her cheating on you or leaving you cause your TOO nice... when it comes to messing around w/ her or interacting w/ her try to be more confident bro don't over think it like nike "just do it".....LOL Link to comment
DeviousOne Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Sounds almost like she's taunting you to prove yourself, but that's no way to treat a lover. She seems really immature and somewhat sneaky. Be careful. She may have worse ideas. Yea but it just seems more like she wants him to loosen up since he's such a nice guy.... Link to comment
Mightyxpro Posted January 11, 2007 Author Share Posted January 11, 2007 DeviousOne: well i can turn that other side of me on..Its like i can be the aggressive guy ..and i can be the really nice guy..its just that i believe I have Split personality..But if its hey come here..i can be like oh yea ill be there.....Oh and get this...being the nice guy" she told me that i annoy her with asking alot of questions.. She said that i need too start acting like the guy in the relationshipWEll NEWS UPDATE..THE bf;'s that she has had either punched her in the face or slapped her or mentally abused her.. So me being the guy: is me trying to help her...Shes like about to flunk 11th grade cause the last bf did all of the above things... So i wanna help her make the right decisions... But if she fails the grade i will dump her.. B.c i know after she fails shes gonna wanna drop out.. i just know it...cause her friends all like to drink, party,, smoke cigg/weed.... M Link to comment
DeviousOne Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 If your asking her alot of questions then your coming off like your unsure and not confident which is what i should of said earlier being aggressive shows her that you ARE confident and not asking her questions shows that your listen to her and you are confident in whatever your doing w/ her. It just seems you need to find a balance w/ yourself to make it work once you do you'll be fine... on a side note if this is the kinda girl thats going to require you to "take care of her" for he just make it I'd get out of it last thing you want is to take on someone's stress and issues when you have your own things going on it sucks to have someone that can't do things on their own and your nice guy side will do that and it shouldn't you need a girl thats can maintain how own things and stress Link to comment
shikashika Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 actually I have seen a number of girls post on here with concerns that their boyfriend is gay... maybe she was one of them! do a search.. maybe that will give you an idea into how your gf is thinking! Link to comment
Mightyxpro Posted January 11, 2007 Author Share Posted January 11, 2007 DeviousOne: I do want my girl to be able to take care of her stress. Let me tell you...My life is simple...All i want in a girl is... Honesty..Trust...(laughable person) ,Great Goals...and a career(. I want her to take her own stress(simple things and fix them) the big ones ill help her with. Like I'm really laid back..and i don't get mad over things..cause that creates stress obviously and thats something that make you pull hair and makes you depressed after a certain amount of time.. She tries to make me mad on person....( like just now ...I was one phone....She called up her friend(mat) my buddy that i work with...and said that i said that im better at my job..and she made it up to make me mad...... I' m Frustrated.. Link to comment
DeviousOne Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 DeviousOne: I do want my girl to be able to take care of her stress. Let me tell you...My life is simple...All i want in a girl is... Honesty..Trust...(laughable person) ,Great Goals...and a career(. I want her to take her own stress(simple things and fix them) the big ones ill help her with. Like I'm really laid back..and i don't get mad over things..cause that creates stress obviously and thats something that make you pull hair and makes you depressed after a certain amount of time.. She tries to make me mad on person....( like just now ...I was one phone....She called up her friend(mat) my buddy that i work with...and said that i said that im better at my job..and she made it up to make me mad...... I' m Frustrated.. This girl seems really immature and too high maintance for a liad back guy such as yourself. I think you should talk about that w/ her and see if you guys can work on a compromise of something sh*t like that drives me nutz and your still young if this doesn't work out your in college im sure you can meet a girl that compliments you better than this one. Speaking from experince college girls are FREAKS....in a good way....LOL I'd just really sit back and take a look at the whole picture and see if you really want to put yourself thru stress to make this work and if its really worth it...it seems to me more than what you intially posted about bro Link to comment
Mightyxpro Posted January 11, 2007 Author Share Posted January 11, 2007 Yea i mean...I keep on looking back at the whole picture..And i don't need this..like I thinking every time i go to her house what am i gonna do to make her think that i don't hate her...b.c she yells and scream at her parents...now i work for her dad and hes the best dad i have ever seen..their so nice to her like me...she gets involved with the bad things and loves i mean loves to make drama...I just want to not have that...She tells me she loves me..But when i want to ask her something, she kockin a attitude really quick, and than replies by saying that its b.c she hasn't had sex since she had her last b4. She Snaps a attitude's with her parents.. She has no respect for her parents and i think its starting to rub on to me. Like 1hr ago she asked me if i would "care" if she went to the clubs with her friends/////She has freaking MONO.....Stay home get better.....I don't understand anymore...She wont listen to her parents..Just recently i broken out with acne all over my chest , b.c of all this stress..I'm putting all my energy into her..just trying to make her feel better about herself.( cause of MONO and her past bf's)..I cant do this anymore..I'm gonna literally fall apart..I about to give up forever and not touch her and be around her....I m getting very self weak(mentally) I think about her and than she just turns around and says im gay..........Im gay....Yea im gay b.c you make me feel like crap.....I cant get close to you b.c you have mono...AAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
DeviousOne Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Just walk away bro....its not worth it you have to put yourself first and your better off it seems like Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 I see it has her wanting you to do something that you dont do. You just take things at your own pace, let her have her ideas. If that question was directed towards me, I would probably make comments about doing anal, because to me thats funny and it will only make her think more. Link to comment
kadvati79 Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Woah guys, maybe she's just a bit insecure. Cut the girl some slack. When someone says they don't want sex, regardless of the reason its real freaking easy to jump to conclusions. Just keep letting her know that you're not gay, and that you find her attractive. Be nice about it. Remember she's not necessarily pushing you, she just may be insecure. I know lots of people, of all ages, who would react in similar ways out of fear. Link to comment
Juliana Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Alot of the time girls who are in abusive relationships and get slapped around find a comfort level in that familiarity. Not abusing her forces her to come out of the trauma zone the abusiveness kept her in, and moving out of that into feeling things more deeply is painful for her; she resists it by baiting you in the hope you'll hurt her like the past guys would have. So, no, imo, the answer is not to suddenly be aggressive. Unless you're going to hit her, you can't be aggressive enough for this girl. You could try firmness; that often works with this kind of girl. Tell her that if she ever asks you if you're gay again, or suggests it, you're done with her, and then act as if that prospect doesn't bother you at all. Mix up the tenderness with a little f-you attitude; see if that helps. But yeah, 16 is way young. Link to comment
Northalius Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Like i said bro it just seems that she wants you to be more aggresive and nothing wrong w/ being a nice guy but there are times to be nice obviously you know that but probably feels like your being too nice sometimes and that can be a turn off for her and lead to other bad things down the road like her cheating on you or leaving you cause your TOO nice... when it comes to messing around w/ her or interacting w/ her try to be more confident bro don't over think it like nike "just do it".....LOL But, there're times to be yourself, as well! Which should be all the time. Being confident comes from being totally comfortable; pushing someone to do what they're not ready to do, will make them uncomfortable. You do not conform yourself according to what someone else wants! Mighty, So, as others said, she is being a bit immature, and most likely isn't your type of girl to be going out with. I think you should seek out a nice conservative, sensitive girl to go out with, that'll take it slow; that is, when you're ready to commit yourself to someone. It's best you wait until the time is right (a bit older in age, maybe), and not rush into a relationship. As I said in another thread: We need to find ourselves first, before try looking for someone else. So, come clean to her about how you feel (communication is key), and maybe to hold it off for a while until you put things in perspective; then decide if she's even the type of girl you want to see, when you are ready. Link to comment
charley Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 She sounds mean and sneaky. Dump her. It'll make you feel better and she'll see you do have some stones after all. I think the dumping would be great for you. Also, I don't think a 16 year old is to young to date a 19 year old, if her parents are OK with it. However, this girl is obviously way to immature. Dump her. It'll be good for both of you. Besides, do you really want to lose your virginity to a girl who has no class, and little or no kindness? She sounds like zero class to me. Yuck. Link to comment
Bethany Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 She sounds mean and sneaky. Dump her. It'll make you feel better and she'll see you do have some stones after all. I think the dumping would be great for you. Also, I don't think a 16 year old is to young to date a 19 year old, if her parents are OK with it. However, this girl is obviously way to immature. Dump her. It'll be good for both of you. Besides, do you really want to lose your virginity to a girl who has no class, and little or no kindness? She sounds like zero class to me. Yuck. I'm not sure about the dumping part but I do think you should think long and hard about losing something that is obviously precious to you to someone who thinks nothing of it and wonders if you are gay just because you haven't proved your manliness to her. Link to comment
Mightyxpro Posted January 11, 2007 Author Share Posted January 11, 2007 icemotoboy: your right...Well i dont wanna have sex with her...In a relationship it best to know the person..Rather than jumping on her...and knowing that eventually the relationship will go sour..>Sex is the main reason why most couples dont last long in the beginning....So I think finding her insecurity's and making her feel like my world is the right idea. I just want her to feel safe without knowing that i have to say hay baby your gonna be safe...... Link to comment
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