iminsane Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Hi, Its been one week of No contact. But i do check her profile in social networking site. So let tmro be the first day of actual NO CONTACT. Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Dude dont do it to yourself. Looking at her profile is worse than speaking to her. YOU REALLY DONT WANT TO KNOW WHAT SHE HAS BEEN UP 2!!! It never makes you feel any better, only worse... I speak from experience!!! Link to comment
iminsane Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Thanks Viper, Yeah I'm not going to check her profile also from tomorrow. After 1 week of not calling and messaging her, i feel bit better. I call up friends, spent time with family this weekend. I feel there are lot more people who respects me. By calling and speaking to her, I get hurt and lose my self respect. Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Just think about yourself for a while. You'll still have her in the back of your mind just as i have mine but the further you distance yourself the better you'll feel. I've only just managed to start to do that myself... No contact and no checking her profile and I feel so much better for it. I can actually start to imagine life without her, still dont want life without her but thinking about it as reality is the first step. Be strong brother! Link to comment
Sunkist09 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Day 4, I was on day 13, then I messed up and back to day 4, don't contact your exes. The grass isn't always greener than the other side..but if you want them to know it, don't contact them..how else are they going to miss you? Anyways, Brazil girl, did your ex show up at the club? I went clubbing with my gf and it was very fun. Link to comment
iminsane Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I planned for a trip last weekend and i called my ex to join me. But she said she will be busy and ignored my calls. So i initiated NC from last tuesday. On friday i got a call from one of my friend, telling that she had loads of work, actually she was busy dats y she couldn't attend calls. Then i came to know dat my ex was in conference while i was speaking to her friend. It gave me an ego boost to continue my NC. She wanted o know why I'm angry and whether I'll be going for the trip ( as she is not joining the trip). Does she really misses me or wants me to go and beg her? Link to comment
wiley Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Can't the money just be transferred via bank accounts then you don't need to see each other? Next month that can happen, but because this month there is about £100 more (she was a bit short last month), she can't set up a direct debit to come out each month, until this month has gone so then it will be the right fixed amount each month which is £100 less than this month if that makes sense... Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Wiley - Setup a standing order for 1 month for this months amount and then a standing order for the correct amount from next month onwards. I was in a position where I could justify seeing my ex for any stupid reason and no matter what advice was given to me I ignored it and did it anyway. Only two things come from this... 1. If you keep seeing/speaking each other even for valid but avoidable reasons she will not miss you and realise how much you actually mean to her. 2. YOU WILL NOT START YOUR HEALING PROCESS!!! Its completely up to you dude, I know how rough it is and how easy it is to justify seeing/speaking to her but unless kids are involved these situations can always be avoided! If your anything like I was you will do it anyway but at somepoint buddy... You have to say enough is enough! The sooner you leave her be and get on with things the sooner she will start worrying that its not her decision anymore! Link to comment
wiley Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Thanks for your advice, I'll leave the standing order for this month.... BUT i've had a think, and i'll get her housemate to give me the money instead - then I don't have to see her at all. I can also give him my bank details to pass onto her in the process too. Seeing her again would put me back at square 1. I do not wanna go back there! Its a dark and dingy place! Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Know that feeling, well stay with it buddy. Be strong! Link to comment
KOKKID Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I think GIGS is very hard to judge. I left my ex because of it and I honestly had no idea how bad I was hurting him until the situation got reversed and he got the GIGS. I don't think young people who suffer with it should be judged so harshly as it's not like we are intently trying to hurt the person. It's complex. Things like "she/he is not worth it" are generalizations and IMO, if there were NO abuse, cheating, lying, people should be able to understand their partner and if the love is true, even months, or years later, there is still a chance for the relationship. Complex for sure.. I was dumped a Month ago for what seems to be a classic Rebound/GIGS case...We had been going out for 4 Months...We have never even had an argument...Barely a disagreement...We were growing very close...Everything was seemingly fine until Romeo came along and She found Herself seeking out his company...In Her words, She got caught up in the feeling before She even realized what was happening...And even though She feels terrible that She had to hurt Me in the process, She HAS to follow Her heart...She has told Me several times I did not deserve this, that We would still be together and She would still be moving in with Me in May had He not come along...That I am a great Man...That I am Her closest Friend...That She still likes Me very much, She just likes Him more...blah, blah, blah... I can tell She's REALLY bothered by the whole thing though...I can just tell...She just seems to have lost Her mind over this Guy and She's willing to risk whatever to find out...I know Him...He used to be a Friend...He's not a bad Guy...He's just a bit slick which She never picked up on...She's only 21 and a bit starved for Male attention anyway...I was only Her 2nd real Boyfriend...I don't think She understands how to handle it when You are committed and someone else comes along...I'm smart enough to know nothing I say at this time is going to help Me either...We are in LC due to a Hobby We share and We have a ton of mutual Friends...I will be moving into NC at the end of Feb when I officially quit the Hobby...Something I can't wait to do cause I'm no longer having any fun with it anyway...But I never even mention Our Relationship or Him when We talk...Ever...I'm trying to play it off like it's no big deal...But I know She knows better... The complications will definitely come down hard on Her if this new thing does not work out...Once the bloom is off that rose She will have to deal with that part of it, plus She'll have to relive the fact that She hurt Me along the way...And as we all know...Most of the time when they realize the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side, the old familiar green grass has since been burned brown by the sun...So even though I know She's worth it...She's an amazing Person...She really is...I just don't think I'll ever be able to forgive Her for this...She hurt Me pretty bad...And I really don't want to be with anyone that unstable regardless of how well We get along..it's just not worth it... Oh well... Link to comment
Johnathan Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Day 39 I think. Every day I'm still reminded of how unfair this is Link to comment
Sunkist09 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 my ex ignored me since the breakup...but why does he still have pictures of "us" together on his facebook? If it's compeletly over, why doesn't he just remove it? He's ignored me, I've written letters. I also said, that im over it, we can be friends whenever, and that i'm moving on... still nothing from him? But the funny thing is, he accepted an invitiation to be friends on facebook from my bestfriend.... what gives? We've been broken up for 5 weeks... he said the Grass is greener on the other side as well.. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Sunkist - He didn't show up! His two best buddies were there and being all nice and buddy buddy with me. I acted like I was having a very good tie, trated them very well and was all over one of my best guys friends from back home (for them to see, this guy is like my brother) and they noticed and probably told my ex. They were going on about how they had to take care of me because of my ex like I was his territory or whatever. Saturday I ended up being down because he didn't show up and I kept thinkng about how he must be with the new girl but my friend forced me to go out again and I had EVEN MORE fun than Friday. It was AMAZING. God is SO good to us at times, I met a guy there randomly who I had a really strong connection with from some months ago before I was stupid enough to back to my ex and he looked very very cute and took me home. He was opening the car doors for me and we ended up kissing good night. I didn't think I still had a chance with him because he knows I was back with my ex so it was a very good surprise. I don't want to get my hopes up... but you know, there are OTHER perople out there. Link to comment
wiley Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I think that most of the time when an EX ignores you, its just a way of them not having to deal with the GUILT. In a way its a good thing that they ignore us, in the fact that we won't be able to get our hopes up or read into the smallest of things said. Its terrible being ignored though. Link to comment
looking4ward Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Hi all- Well broke NC. Didn't go too bad- just "checked in" to say hi. He picked up the phone immediately so I guess that was a good thing, made some small talk. I think I messed up some when I said I missed talking to him- he didn't say anything, so then of course I prompted him "Do you miss talking to me? Do you think about me?" He said yes to both. Eh, good parts- I didn't get all emotional or too needy (but asking if they miss you is being kinda needy huh?) Oh well, I don't feel too bad and he said he would talk to to me later. Back to day 1. Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Day 39 I think. Every day I'm still reminded of how unfair this is Amen to that. Hang in there, dude - I'm only a week in and it kills me a little more each day. Link to comment
Sunkist09 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 well, I was the dumpee in my last relationship, and I always responded to my ex bc I figure he needs to get the real answer from me, that's its over. I think ignoring the ex is a very cruel thing to do..it leaves them hanging... Link to comment
Sunkist09 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I contacted my first ex. He dumped me bc I was mean to him... after 4 years, I asked him, did you ever regret leaving me? He said,"yes, I think about it all the time", I said, when did you regret it?, he said, "a month after". I said, A month after I left u alone or a month after I moved on"?, he said, "both"... so hang in there, it takes a while for the guys to realize... As for my current... it's painful... bc I really saw a future... but it really does get better once you realize it's over and they're not thinking about you, and if they are, it's just feelings of hurt, pain, guilt... bc they can't love you the way you want them too... Link to comment
Webslinger51 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Messed up on Friday - I added her to facebook. I still haven't communicated to her directly, but it counts. So I'm back to Day 3. Link to comment
lauramed Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Day 19 for me. Had done 5 weeks, then ran into him and had to start all over again. Back to square one. This weekend was very hard for some reason. I wanted to call him so bad today, but the thought of him not answering or responding is a hurt that I just don't need in my life. I'm getting so tired of waking up every morning and him being the first thought in my mind. So sick of feeling this pain, but I'm not going to try to get in touch with him. Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I'm on day 9 or 10. I had blocked my ex, but I had the nasty habit of unblocking her and then looking at her profile. Silly stuff would be up there. I hated looking at her profile. Even stuff that shouldn't make me feel bad made me upset. So I decided to take myself off of facebook. I can't unblock her if I'm never on the website. Link to comment
le_sex Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 hey guys a month nc from me so far!!! Link to comment
Sunkist09 Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 how does it feel Le? No contact for one month... I commerate you. Link to comment
le_sex Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 thanks i was dumped for vague reasons by the way, gigs it seems no other man that im sure of, it was a distance thing. we have no mutual friends so i wont say its as hard for me as it is for some. she got back in touch recently wanting to be friends after four months of no contact on my part but now she was asking me to visit but also throwing in hints about a new "friend", which was her last text to me i replied in a way to show i happy for her and got no reply. she got in contact last time and she asked me to get in contact after my exams to let her know how i got on. but after talking to her and her level off maturity theres no way ill initiate contact and would rather just forget about her at athis satge Link to comment
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