THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[Rosie007]

Last night I called back a second time. This time I did leave a message, on his cell and on his home phone.

 

I also sent him an e-mail to say I love him still.

 

Currently I don't regret my actions, even if they were met with silence.

[Tshwane]

just a pep talk to all suffering. NC truly works, just bear the pain and continue moving forward. Im over my ex and have only talked to her once in over a year(meeting accidentally at the mall). Two weeks ago she text me(first time in 15 months) and i didn't bother to reply, im over her and want nothing to do with her.

 

Just search for my old post's and you'll see i really struggled, follow NC and never break it. It will save you lots of time.

 

NC FOREVER, THANKS SUPERDAVE!

[Tshwane]

Day 18

 

I went out,and went shopping for a little bit,only found a shirt

 

I just don't know

 

I keep having this false hope that she will brake up with this guy if I talk to her after this month is up

 

the reason for that

 

1.the guy barely is down here where I live,usually he is gone for 2 to 3 weeks,and is only down here for a weekend or a week

 

2.she gets really lonely at times

 

I'm trying my very best to forget about her and work on me

 

but its always me thinking about her in the back of my mind

 

I just keep hopeing that she missing me,being that fact that she only lives 5 min. away from me

 

and that guy works out of state at times.............

 

 

keep going, you have no control over her feelings. Just keep getting yourself better.

[Tshwane]

Last night I called back a second time. This time I did leave a message, on his cell and on his home phone.

 

I also sent him an e-mail to say I love him still.

 

Currently I don't regret my actions, even if they were met with silence.

 

 

One day at a time, please don't call or text again. Just try to keep yourself busy and you'll get through the days. If you don't have anything to do, SLEEP!

[zedtech]

Day 11 for me. Tomorrow will be the one month mark from when she dumped me. I first went into NC after the first week but she called me a couple times the following week. I put complete NC into place on the 18th and we haven't contacted each other since. I'm making good progress in getting myself back together but I still miss her a lot

[Mutley]

74 days for me.

 

YEA!!!

[WadeCure]

Day 18, 19, 20

 

Back online again and ready for the final ten days of this challenge. So the weekend was interesting. For the past couple of day postings I've been pretty upbeat and happy about stuff. I don't know what happened but on Friday I went to visit my college friends and we all went out to eat dinner and see The Dark Knight again, and when we got in that night (it was real late, like 2 or 3am) I started to fall to being sad, getting depressed, missing her, unable to stop thinking about her, etc. just generally pining for her. I sent out a text message to everybody on their cell phones asking for prayers at that time. After that one of my friends and I were sleeping in the living room on opposite sides and we got to talking about things and we discovered we have almost exactly the same outlook on girls and dating. It felt good to be able to hash out all the details of the breakup again and be understood by somebody, it validated all my feelings of the thing not being 100% my fault (and it wasn't entirely my fault.) Saturday was a little bit better than Friday but I was still upset. That evening when I got home I prayed long and hard about the situation and the pain lifted quite a bit. On Sunday, I went to Church and made some new friends, and also got asked to try drumming for the Church band - which I accepted and will be rehearsing with them Sunday. One thing I have discovered this weekend is how much I lack in social skills. When I am in a group of people, I have a lot of trouble talking. I don't know what to say, or I run out of words to say. This sometimes happens with a one on one conversation, sometimes. Not very often. Usually I'm able to converse quite well in a one on one situation. I definitely need to work on my social skills.

[Rosie007]

One day at a time, please don't call or text again. Just try to keep yourself busy and you'll get through the days. If you don't have anything to do, SLEEP!

 

Thank you Tshwane. I'll do my best.

[Rosie007]

I'm not used to failing. I guess the problem is my heart isn't in NC, even if I trust it's the healthy thing to do.

[sparkles4]

Arrrrg I'm joining this challenge...

[Stelinha]

Just in response to Rosie007, there are many times when my heart hasn't been in the whole NC thing too. I think I would still would find it hard to not respond if he contacted me (I also quite suspect I'd been in hospital treated for shock

However, after contacting him for a considerable period of time now and he has continued to ignore me (or be just too busy with his own life- heck who knows his reasons but he doesn't acknowledge my contact) I realised it was just ridiculous me still continuing to contact him

I'm so busy today that I wonder how I ever got time to contact him but I did make that effort because he is special and unique to me and it is so hurtful to know he doesn't (or can't be bothered) to appreciate the time I spend and the effort I make becuase , if he did, surely he would make that same effort for me?

Well, that's his loss.

To me it now seems crazy to spend time and effort to contact someone who ignores you (and, consequently you feel like doggie do do after their silence yet again!).

So nice to read about people who have reached well over 30 days!

Feeling strong today

[Jay_Bird]

Day 20

 

its this girl in my class,she in both my college classes,wow she is so pretty

 

I notice she parked next to me the second time,I asked her about some homework in our second class,and she said she didn't do it

 

and she smiled,and I swear when she smiled,I saw nothing but stars and angels

 

I haven't even thought about my ex except for a lil but,cause this chick got my attention so much

 

I hope she isn't taken................

[Rosie007]

Just in response to Rosie007, there are many times when my heart hasn't been in the whole NC thing too. I think I would still would find it hard to not respond if he contacted me (I also quite suspect I'd been in hospital treated for shock

However, after contacting him for a considerable period of time now and he has continued to ignore me (or be just too busy with his own life- heck who knows his reasons but he doesn't acknowledge my contact) I realised it was just ridiculous me still continuing to contact him

 

Thanks, Stelinha. It's good to know someone understands my lapses in good judgment. I wish I could understand why I keep loving / wanting someone who doesn't return my feelings.

[Hopelives]

3 months since I last saw him and howled with fits of laughter.

 

2 months since it was formally over.

 

I still miss him, but have never responded again... nor has he.

 

There was a thread that said they always come back.

 

I hate to say it, but not always... and our relationship was one of the grandest... began without drama, existed without drama, and ended with laughter, a few tears, and no drama... but there was love... I believe that.

 

Hope

[PrettyGood]

The last day

 

Well I didn't write here for a current time, so I want to add that I decided to end this trial of NC. My tactic of NC was to return my boyfriend to me, which I have left. It was very successful. He returned to me, gave me a 1 week trial to live with him at his home and now I'm living with him all the further time. I changed my living place permanently.

 

Conclusion:

The NC method is the best way to get your self-confidence back, to become perfect as you were before your friendship, to understand your personal life values and priorities from the beginning. But it's never good method to return your boyfriend as I've done now. Yes, it's lucky to do it, but I can asure, that you will regret it later. I returned him, living with him and still see how much I have changed myself thought this NC time and he remained the same with that his horible habits, which he doesn't want to change.

 

So decide what effect do you want from NC method first. Then do actions.

[Tshwane]

Thanks, Stelinha. It's good to know someone understands my lapses in good judgment. I wish I could understand why I keep loving / wanting someone who doesn't return my feelings.

 

keep doing NC and you'll no longer have a need to understand. You won't care anymore.

 

NC FOREVER!

[Jay_Bird]

Day 21

 

I would have never made it this far without God..........

 

without him,I would be somewhere going completely nuts...........

 

everyday I'm starting to get numb about her,her being with someone does not bother me,its just a numb feeling now

 

things is though...........I wonder is she thinking about me

 

I read a make up book,where it talks about if you give them a month of no contact,they will start to miss,the bad times will start to fade,and all they will remember is the good

 

 

I don't know why,but I remember this powerful moment we had

 

I we were just staring at each other,I kept trying to kiss her,but she wouldn't let me

 

we was just staring into each other eyes...........

 

but I feel really good though,each day I get stronger

[WadeCure]

Day 21

 

Got my annual review for my job this morning - and I got really high marks. Except for one thing, and it relates directly with something I mentioned in my three day weekend report, will talk about that momentarily. So I'm feeling good. But before that, yesterday I went out and biked. I biked to the graveyard where both of my Grandfathers are buried. They died when I was a very young age, at least 10-15 years ago. For some reason though when I was at the graveyard I cried. First time I cried in a while. I'm really afraid of being alone and that's something I'm going to have to deal with. Last night I went home and started thinking and pining for my ex again. But when I woke up this morning I started thinking of a lot of negatives about my ex - her constant pressure for marriage, her unbelievable irrationality, her being unaffectionnate unless I'm upset, her negative thinking, etc and I got mad. I had myself convinced for a while that if she came back I would reject her. Then on the way to work today I got sad again. Ugh. But again I'm talking to God through all of this and it really does help a lot to lean on Him. This morning my Mom woke me up to tell me that the company I work for opened up 100 jobs in the area that I was hoping to get a job in. But I haven't given enough thought to where I need to be. That's something I need to think about real bad. Anyway so about the annual job review... I got really high marks except when we have meetings I don't speak up. That directly ties into what I was talking about in the 3 day report, when I'm in a group of people I'm just silent. I don't know what to say. I really draw blanks. I don't like being quiet. That's something I desperately need to work on because it affects the way I feel about myself. I dunno what I can do to improve my social skills. But I'm trying. Tomorrow marks the one month mark since the last time we had our face-to-face, where she rejected me. Friday marks the first month of total NC. 9 days left in the challenge. I'll make it through this.

[ccali78]

So today is officially Day 1. I need to come here and post everytime I get weak and want to be his friend. I need to move forward without him as my friend. I know he thinks I will text him back saying I am ready to be friends. But that does not allow me to date and move on..

 

So I am letting go of our friendship in hopes I will find the person I am meant to be with. Wish me luck and I will keep posting I promise and will not respond to anymore texts from him...

 

I still want to change my number but he would have to change his for that to work 100% both ways.

[Stelinha]

Not really got the urge to contact him today because I'm so busy.

 

Feeling okay

[UltimateX]

I'm in! Day 1!

 

Got crushed yesterday by the ex.

 

We had been talking and to be honest doing quite well after she called me out of the blue last week. We had been broken up for about a month prior. She told me after she called that she missed and loved me and that she felt as though she was losing her best friend.

 

Then Wednesday she got news of her grandmother dying, made a trip back to Maryland, came back last night and then.... BAM!!! She drops the bomb on me telling me she just can't do this stating that that she probably should not have called me in the first place.

 

I was completely supportive all week for her during this rough time. I just don't get it.

 

Now I need to concentrate on me again. I will be stronger in the months coming. I just need to get through this early part.

 

X

[Hosvius]

good luck bro. You can do it. As you as you know you're doing the right thing is all that matters. she was looking for some one in a time of need and you were there. Looks good on you.

[Jay_Bird]

I just got a private call from someone

 

and I rarely very rarely get private calls from someone............

 

 

I picked up and all I could hear is music in the background....................

 

I said hello two times,and then they hung on me,I wonder if that was her

 

all my friends never private call me

[Rosie007]

Wish my heart was in this.

 

I'll just keep acting as if, I guess.

[DavidWRosario]

Day 12

 

Well moving along this time, guess i am going to make it. I have done this so many times it is bizzarre. We have been split up for almost 6 months. I know God has a plan for me, I just cant imagine what it is. It amazes me how this challenge has gone for some. Some back with thier SO. Some moved on. Some disappeared. KJ, Ghostgirl, what happened to you guys. I have to pray daily for joy. Praising God seems to get me where I can make the day. I have learned I need him more and more each day. I talk about her less and less each day. Maybe thats a good thing. I wish I knew.

 

Really starting to work on me, just dont know what for.

 

If she was going to quit, I wish it had been 20 years ago.

 

Davee