S.Ken Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 Day 26 Had a great day Friday and yesterday hanging out with a friend I hadn't seen in almost nine months. We went up to the mountains to this cool hippie/artsy commune deep in the mountains and met a few cool people there Then we went to a local park the next day and walked around, cutting up and poking fun at each other. I brought up the ex a couple of times, but nowhere near as many times as I have in the past. My friend brought up a couple of interesting theories about my relationship with her in the first place and I have to admit she made a couple of good points. Today has been pretty mellow. Played some video games and resting my muscles from all the hiking and such. Not bad. Link to comment
Knightm29 Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 Hi Knight Sounds like your doing better mate. Not a big fan of sundays myself as usually a day for just chilling out and being with your thoughts. Glad to hear you had a good night friday. Andy Hi Andy Mate, Yeah I am getting better. Just the smallest things can trigger it though. A mutual friend stayed with my ex last night and then she went to my local bar hoping to see me but started chatting to a couple of my friends. I am just sat here thinking, how is my ex? what is she up too? What was said to her?! Stupid I know, but I suppose it will happen. Just can not contact her...need to keep this going! Hope you are ok Andy! Link to comment
hfsf Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 Thanks again Andy for the message of support, means a lot. Hope you had a great time hiking and with the girl!!!! Keeping to NC and it really is the best. Turning point today, ended up in A&E after treading on a nail and I didn’t even think to contact him, not even as an excuse. Had a great time camping and was thinking, he wouldn’t have been cool with this! Hey, one day at a time!!!!! Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 Hi Fellow No Contacters! Hi Ya Knight and hfsf Hope your both doing well.. Knight, stick with what your doing mate your doing well... Yeah HFSF the hiking was good thanks and nice to hear you had a good time camping. Sorry to hear about the nail! Link to comment
HDD Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 YES YES YES!!! I DID IT! even though the day isnt over yet, I think i can safely say that I HAVE Completed the 30 NC Challenge And I feel GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you everyone for your support and advice!!!! i wouldnt have made it without all the support on this forum. its such a relief to know that there are people out there who are going thru the same thing as I am. even thought the journey isnt over yet, and i dont think i am completely healed from my last relationship but i am doing so much better! I am actually HAPPY! i have real dates lol, friends, and i am super busy with my life right now. everyone on this post, who dont have any faith in NC or think it wont work, well, trust me, it does. and it will probably be the hardest thing you ever do, but its way worth it in the end!!!!!!! i will def. go another month easily without even having the urge to call my ex. lol the road is long and tough, but we all will make it! Time is the most important thing during this period and its how you use your time that makes all the difference. you can either sit around cry and feel sorry for yourself OR Do something +ve about your life and make changes that will not only change the way you pursue your future goals and ambitions, but it will help you be a more loving, independent, confident and attractive person. just bec our x decided they didnt want to be with you, or you decided you dont want to be with him/her, doesnt mean its the end of the world. Good luck to all and we are here for you whenever you need to talk!!!!! this forum Rocks! Link to comment
lizer Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 day 27. not sure why the person above me is so enthusiastic. i have spent my time doing what i was *supposed* to do, and i really doubt that in 3 days, on day 30, that i will just MIRACULOUSLY stop giving a crap about my ex and not ever desiring to talk to him. because thats a big ol lie. NC has determined more and more for me that he is the only one i want to be with. im not a believer in NC. if anything its just proved i have really good willpower. Link to comment
S.Ken Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 day 27. not sure why the person above me is so enthusiastic. i have spent my time doing what i was *supposed* to do, and i really doubt that in 3 days, on day 30, that i will just MIRACULOUSLY stop giving a crap about my ex and not ever desiring to talk to him. because thats a big ol lie. NC has determined more and more for me that he is the only one i want to be with. im not a believer in NC. if anything its just proved i have really good willpower. Good point. I know for a fact that after I hit 30 days that I will not miraculously be unburdened from all feelings for my ex, however with each day it allows me to reevaluate my relationship with her from an objective perspective and unlike you, I'm beginning to see that she wasn't the one I was meant to be with. Just admitting that would have been impossible for me to even think about a month earlier. I doubt I would've been able to do that without NC which is one of the things it allows you to do. As for your growing feelings for your ex, you may require a little more time to heal or maybe you are meant to be with him. I don't know which since I don't really know about your situation. good luck either way. Link to comment
lady00 Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Day 23. Doing well overall. He hasn't tried to contact me at all even though the last time we are were in contact he said he wanted to stay in touch. I guess that's just something people say and don't really mean. I'm doing well, focusing on improving myself in all aspects of life and just enjoying it. I do miss my ex. We got very close in a short period of time. But that ship sailed and if it were meant to be we would never have broken up. Link to comment
smickey Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Day 21 Feeling ok today. Had a really good weekend with some old friends who came to visit so ended up having a few drinks each night and not much sleep. There is a strong chance I could see my ex tonight at training as he will be playing a game on the other pitch - my friend is playing as well and others I know are watching. I don't know whether to watch it or not, knowing he will be there. Half of me wants to speak to him to see where he is at but I don't know how that will affect me. The other half just wants to go, do my training then leave, hopefully avoiding him in the process although it will be very difficult considering he'll be at the same place. My friend has offered to talk to him about this whole situation (my ex agreed to stop playing soccer 'out of respect' for me because he knew it would be hard on me, but then has just kept playing anyway). Perhaps I'll just see what happens when I get there. This is the first time I'll be going somewhere knowing he will be there so I guess it will be a test for me - don't see why I should miss training with my team just because of him though. Anyway, other than this issue I think I'm doing ok!! Link to comment
Dev007 Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Um ok day 7 or 8 or 9 um not sure anymore. Who cares. LOL Friday. Got drunk with my uncles and my mom haha and got severely sunburned. It was all worth it. Saturday. Same thing only I also danced with some strippers and I didn't have to pay a dime. Good times good times. Sunday. No drinking. It's sunday come on. Thought about the ex a little bit but I wasn't sad at all. I was wondering why this post in is getting back together. Shouldn't it be in healing after break up? Oh well Good luck everyone Link to comment
Knightm29 Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Day 20.... Feel ok this morning, thought about her when I woke up but its not sadness about not being with her in a relationship, but sadness that i do miss her to talk too and what came with the relationship. Not going to dwell on it too much Roll on day 21 Link to comment
hfsf Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Feeling good today, must be something to do with the sun shining!!! Woke up thinking of him, not in a relationship way but I muss my best friend way. Sigh! hey, I've been divorced and know I can get throught this. Andy, gald you enjoyed the hiking, nail isn't too sore, just being a big baby lol Hope everyone is doing well Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Hi HFSF, Knight and all.. DAY 27 only 3 days more woohoo..! I'm alright today, got told by one of my female friends she cant go camping as she has got back with one of her old flames..! DOH.. we are still mates though but I guess it will calm down a bit now she has a guy again.. So at least we know reconciliation works eh!! She is always getting back with exes too be honest and then falling out..!! LOL Link to comment
celebros Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 First post here at ENA. I'm signing up for the challenge. I've been doing NC since a recent parting last week, but I'll start on Day 1 here. Link to comment
zenartist Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Im on day 12 since my last email to my ex .. i wiped my computer of all the pictures of us (put on a disc) I may eventually email her a copy of the disk (maybe around our "anniversery" in july) .. it has us but also pix of her kids.family,dogs and friends .. I also deleted her as a myspace friend and deleted her from my phone .. she broke up Feb 23 I had nc for 6 weeks then met for tal;k then lc .. then confronted her by email about her new guy (an longtime friend she works with) and she confirmed it .. thats when I went total nc ..Im moving on and doing well good luck and thanks to all here .......zen Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted June 11, 2007 Author Share Posted June 11, 2007 Welcome Celebros! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Cimmie Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 six months on the road to forever. NC clears the mind like nothing else. It nearly killed me in the first weeks, but I should have followed everyone's advice and cut contact a year and a half earlier. I was too weak, but I didn't realize my misplaced and suicidal love for him was making me weak. People are now telling me I am much happier and more 'myself' than I have been for ten years. I just hope it can continue like that. For those of you on NC: don't even think about weakening. It's the ONLY way to heal. Link to comment
smickey Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Well I ended up breaking NC last night as I did see my ex at soccer and we decided to have a talk. It went really well - I was strong - no tears and I didn't loose it. If anything I'm doing much better than him! He said that he had been missing me lately and didn't know what he wanted and that he thought he might want to get back together. I told him that it seemed like he was still mixed up and that if he did want me back it wouldn't be easy - he'd have to put in a huge effort. He just seemed really sad and upset and tired. He also said that he hardly recognised me and that I looked really good - fit and healthy. I'm glad I broke NC, but I have to be careful not to start daydreaming about a happy ever after for us - he still has a long way to go and I'm not even sure that's what I want anymore. It was killing me to see that he was so upset but I also really like the new life I'm building. He wants to meet up next week sometime to give me back some of my stuff. I said that I'd see, and that if I was too busy maybe he could post it or give it to my friend to give to me, but left the door open that perhaps we could meet up for the 'exchange'. I think NC has been absolutely brilliant for me - it has given me back some confidence and self respect and allowed me to focus on myself. I've had a chance to reflect on my relationship and where I went wrong and things I would do differently the next time. I didn't know when or how we would resume contact (or even if we would) and I'm shocked that he said that he thinks he may have made the wrong decision, but thankfully I'm smart enough now to not get my hopes up. I think I will continue NC from this end, but will start to respond if he gets in contact as I want to get some communication going, but also not lose the momentum I have created in other areas of my life. So to those of you nearing the end of the challenge and wondering whether to resume contact - all I can suggest is that you don't do it until you feel a bit better within yourself and feel ready for what they might throw at you, and don't go rushing back in, undoing your good work. For me, after 50 days of NC and 2 1/2 months since we split I felt I was ready to just say hi and see where he was at. And I was surprised at how badly he was doing - we all have this perception of the dumper as a heartless person who stomped all over us and left relieved that they are out of our lives, but actually many dumpers do it really tough as well, so try and take the high road and be considerate of their feelings while still getting your point accross - you'll look a much better person for it. Good luck everyone! Link to comment
lrw301jl Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Superdave, I have an question? Should I still do NC? If I was the one that hurt her and that made us break-up our relationship. Link to comment
S.Ken Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Day 27 It was a beautiful day today and I actually decided to call in sick to work today. Went to the park and read a book, paid some bills online and just lounged about enjoying the day off. Of course I had my obligatory thoughts about the ex, but they were significantly less intense. She'll be leaving for Sweden for a month in a couple of weeks so NC will be that much easier Link to comment
Coyote9 Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Day 56....we're both teachers (ex and I) so school will be out and I'll have no reason to avoid her like I have at work in order to maintain NC...getting a little stronger every day! Link to comment
Knightm29 Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Day 21. I wish I could stop thinking at the moment. before going to sleep last night, I just kept on thinking, making up scenarios (all not great), replaying old scenarios. Does anyone have any good techniques on relaxing before going to sleep, to concentrate on things other than whats happened in the past or making up complete weird scenarios! I am worried sometimes that my mind is really not helping me heal! I am not crying or feeling sad that much or anything like that, just my mind is whizzing around all the time. ah well, carry on NC and hopefully this will fade Link to comment
MsBear Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Day 2, the 2nd counting I had a very pleasant night, thinking about years later if I would meet my ex I will look cool, by that time I will be having a stable relationship with The one, a well paid job and will look down on him For the meantime, all my power has to be devoted to work through my plans It looks like a revenge but its not since its something for me to work for Link to comment
S.Ken Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Day 27 (continued) Woke up this morning with all sorts of mean thoughts about the ex after realizing all the things I let her get away with simply because we were dating. I also get annoyed with myself when I think about all that time I wasted on her when it could have been spent on someone more deserving. Looking forward to the day when she becomes less of an after thought. Link to comment
Pending Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Lost track of days...think i;m roughly at day 10(attempt #3) Ex readded me to msn, and sent me a msg after 2 months... Trying not to reply to it. Link to comment
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