Pisces_Princess Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Hi Luv, No everything in the boxes belongs to me. When we moved in together I had my things from my own home so we didn't need 2 kettles 2 toasters etc x Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 KR, I think talking to her best friend is not going to help you. MOre then likely you are hearing about her and she is hearing about you...NOT GOOD. My ex's and I's mutual friends would try and talk to me about him and it didnt help me at all to move on...I finally asked them not to bring him up..the less I knew the better! Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Hi Luv, No everything in the boxes belongs to me. When we moved in together I had my things from my own home so we didn't need 2 kettles 2 toasters etc x Cool...Its allll yours! no memories of him when you open them up..... Christmas in January for Pisces! Think of all those boxes as gifts to yourself! ENJOY! Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 That's right! I would be a great catch for any girl Remember that! and make sure the NEXT one is a great catch for you! Take your time and HEAL..."slow waters run deep" Link to comment
krnelson2 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Thats what I was thinking Luv. I guess they are a package deal. Who knows maybe the NC will work on both of them and they will team up to get me back Not counting on it though. I'm feeling much better about everything. I wish I could get a 1/2 off deal from SuperDave so I didnt have to go back to day 1 I guess I have some twinkies coming my way though!!! -KR Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Im taking out stock in hostess, the twinkie sales must be sky high by now! Link to comment
pinkbunnie Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 When he imed me yesterday over something small. It put a smile on my face. I'm not sure why but I was happy. Anyways, I guess he received some emails from my email asking him to join some chat program which I didnt sent to him. It probably got sent by itself. So I told him to ignore it. Anyways, im not feeling mad or sad that I talk to him. I just realized last night that I need to let him go for good this time. Reason being, he talk again in the sense that he still had feelings for me.. I just got tired of it i guess. We were talking about Texas Chainsaw Masacre, The beginning. Told him how scary n nasty it was and he was like, if he was there it wouldnt be scary so i replied him back and said maybe we can watch it toghetehr lol. He said sure, np and added, Wait until you get better. I'm pretty sick now w/ a bad bad flu. But anyways, I think its just false hope. Anyways, its day 1 today feeling okay not sad or mad. Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Remember that! and make sure the NEXT one is a great catch for you! Take your time and HEAL..."slow waters run deep" I know, I do want to heal. I want to heal in two months if possible. But I also don't want to risk having a rebound relationship. I thought if I waited a few weeks and then started casual dating, maybe I could gain my confidence back and thereby heal more quickly. Is that too dangerous? I want to make sure I truly heal and I'm wary to rush it too much. At the same time, I do not want to languish in desperation forever like when my ex-wife left.. Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Dating is not bad, if your ready ..do it. Dating is just that.....seeing different people..seeing who is right for/with you. Most people spend more time picking out a puppy then picking a mate! Ive gone out on a couple dates..had fun too. when my ex and I spent time together over last weekend, he said he knew about it and wasnt happy about it..but the also said that he "drove" me to do it by the way he treated me..I told him that I went out on the dates for me..NOT because of him..he was dumbfounded. Anyway...my point is that, dont feel guilty of going out with someone and having a good time....You just never know how much it helps. most people out on a date talk about each other, getting to know likes/dislikes..it helps to get "you" back. Link to comment
Shaker Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 I'm with luv on this one. I've been dating, but it's more about letting myself acknowledge that the world is full of possibilities--some good, some bad, some undecided. And I love people, I've just been in a bubble while in my last relationship. It's really kind of fun meeting men and having good conversations, or even bad ones you can laugh about later. Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 I'm with luv on this one. I've been dating, but it's more about letting myself acknowledge that the world is full of possibilities--some good, some bad, some undecided. And I love people, I've just been in a bubble while in my last relationship. It's really kind of fun meeting men and having good conversations, or even bad ones you can laugh about later. I agree, some good, some bad. I have had friends say I am more fun to be around now then when I was with him. my ex and I were always ...well not always, but it brought me down. the last man I sat and talked with ( not a date) said he hasnt had such and interesting conv. with a woman in a long time.. ONe thing he said to me was..MAN, you are a strong person, you dont put up with any crap do you? I t reminded me that I am strong and that I dont need this sh*t in my life! Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 well all, try and have a good day..I have to get going..hang in there. I almost called him..but reminded myself that i dont like twinkies..lol Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 I am an individual that falls in love too easily. With my ex-g/f, I fell in love with her, but bit my tongue and didn't tell her, thinking that it wouldn't be true if I didn't say it out loud. When she told me she loved me, it all came flooding out.. I think I need to go on multiple dates with different women in a short amount of time so as to not focus on one right away.. Unfortunately, I don't know how to get dates.. I probably just need to bury my fear and go for it and let the chips fall where they may.. Link to comment
andreap Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Hi Everyone, Just posting a quick update since I haven't done so in 2 days. Today will make day 30 of NC.....day 14 of the challenge!! I am pretty sure he tried to reach me yesterday morning as I had an "ID restricted"call on my cell phone and the only one that has ever done that in the past (all the time) is him......but I DIDN'T answer and there wasn't a message....so who knows....obviously he wasn't calling w/ something that I wanted to hear....or there would have been a voicemail right? sucks. But I am hanging in there and trying to keep myself as busy as possible so that I don't worry about what HE is doing during all this time.....part of me gets really nervous that mabye he has just moved on w/ someone else and that is that....but I suppose only time will tell....and patience has never been my strong point. NC has been teaching me that for sure. Good luck to everyone!! Link to comment
Pisces_Princess Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 I hate breaking up...I just want him back Link to comment
pinkbunnie Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 I hate breaking up...I just want him back awww hugs* i feel the same way too Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 I hate breaking up...I just want him back Me three Only substitute "her" for "him" Link to comment
krnelson2 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 We all want them back guys...But ask yourself what it is you NEED... I will answer for you. We NEED ourselves back. This is the transition we have all made (most of us at least) Before it was the other way around. We NEEDED our ex back, but wanted ourselves back. By changing this around we are all healing successfully. No matter if you have a bad day, or break NC (like I did today). We are all on our way to getting our selves back. Does anyone remember the talk we got in like elementary school about needs and wants. Throughout life we loose the reality of that. We devalue the things we truly need and start to need the things we only want....BAD SITUATION. It only offers us a distorted reality. So everyone take a step back look at the larger picture. What is it you NEED right now, and what is it you only want? If you need write them out on here and look back at them every couple of days to remind yourself. My parents always told me that when I really NEEDED something, to wait a few days and it most likely would turn into a WANT and then would disappear altogether. I'm not saying our ex's will disappear forever, but seeing them as a WANT and not a NEED puts us in a much better situation to heal. I'm curious as to what all of your NEEDS VS WANTS are. -KR Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 You're absolutely right, krnelson. I DO NOT NEED her. I only WANT her. I lived without her before and I will again now. Someday I will fall in love again and it will be better than ever. I will NOT lose myself again. Link to comment
TonyMar75 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 I hate breaking up...I just want him back Pisces, I feel like we're partners in this -- the timing of our breakups, our desire to get back together with our ex, our roller-coaster days full of ups and downs. Everyone has been so helpful here, especially Dave. But let's get through this together. I'll be here if you need me. It really helps to know there's someone out there going through the same thing, and helps me to offer advice and guidance that I can then remind myself to follow! Stay strong... Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Im out of the race, but.... then again, this is "Getting back together", right? I went into NC for 19 days (strict) and after that I called her and told her I wanted to talk to her in person... just friendly conversation. She agreed. Yesterday I contacted her, she couldnt (or didnt) want to talk on the phone, so we talked on MSN. She was a little reluctant at first, but I was upbeat, and didnt get discouraged with her negatives. I told her I was happy with what happened to us because it gave me the opportunity to learn and grow as a person, and made me realize that there were things I could do different to be happier in my life, and that I didnt want to waste what we learned *not implying guilt over what happened to us* in fact, she said it was not my fault what happened. She felt trapped because everything happened so fast between us and she felt that her history was already written. We were both at fault. Still I think she feels insecure, because of the age difference and fears I expect something out of the relationship (marriage). Too much pressure made her break up with me... We both were having trouble with MSN, so I called her and she picked up. Before, she feared that I wanted to have a conversation with abbundant drama, then she realized I was not blaming her of anything, or wanted to apologize or make commitments. I kinda hinted that I was happy about myself, but still I cared for her. We were talking, I was cool, calm, collected, upbeat, elocuent. She agreed with many things I said, she realized some things also, and we both agreed we were taking things too seriously and stopped having fun... I could tell she was happy to hear I finally understood some of the points she was trying to make when we broke up, replying "exactly", "right"... She told me she wants to start going out with me again, but avoid talking about the past or about us or our future together... I figure its a new beginning... we'll go out this sunday again. Of course im going to be discreet and dont show my emotions, just concentrate on both of us having a good time, like two friends. She never told me she wanted us to be friends... I don't want to be friends with her, but the thing is: We fell head over heels with each other the very same day we met for the first time, and got physical in no time. We commited to each other very fast, so we didn't have a relationship based on friendship and respect since the beggining... So now its my chance to take my time and get to know her better... slooowly... there is no rush, there are no other suitors (that I know of... in fact, i dont really care). My point is you just have the go with your feelings, know when to cut your losses... sure, it is better for your pride and ego if you let go completely, but you have to evaluate the damage done to your relationship and if it can be repaired. In my case, we fell in love too fast and were planning our lives together and she got scared, so I have to gain her trust again. I used 19 days of thinking and waiting, to be calm and focused, to be shure of my feelings... and to let her do the same. I then came back to work in repairing the relationship, but only after I was convinced I did some mistakes that didnt have to be repeated. Please let me hear your thoughts on what is recommended to do when starting to go out again with your ex and gaining her trust again. I hope my story helps! I'll keep posting with details... Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 Good Afternoon Everyone, I do NOT wanna hear PITY PARTIES IN HERE.... This post is for getting better...NOT FALLING BACKARDS. Pisces, We know you miss him...you must realize that he may NOT come back. Because of your low self-esteem and feeling of self-worth has been hit pretty hard.. THIS DOES NOT mean you are worthless. You may FEEL this way..but it is FAR from the truth..STOP PUTTING YOUR SELF WORTH INTO YOUR EX..for GOODNESS SAKE.... Go stand in the mirror adnd tell yoru self over and over.."I AM SOMEONE'S TREASURE!!" "I MATTER"..."I AM VALUED AS A PERSON, FRIEND, AND LOVER..I DESERVE BETTER!!" You have GOT to snap out of this NON-SENSE. One day you will look back on this and say "WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING!!!" YOu can DO THIS!!! and do it today!!! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
krnelson2 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 TJ- Good luck my man. You should not worry about gaining her trust back. It is she who needs to gain yours. If you both are truly into getting back together than you can never hurt each other like this again. But since it was her that broke up with you (right?) whos to say that she wont run when she sees things going back to how they were before? So be careful and make her show you that she is indeed in love with you, and truly wants you in her life. Make her gain YOUR trust back!!! Link to comment
krnelson2 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Hey Dave. Good to hear from you. I thought you may have been coming for me with those twinkies Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 Tijuana, I am so scared for you. 19 days...19 days of what? 19 days is two weeks and 5 days which breaks down to: 456 hours.. What have you learned? To communicate? What was the issue? Why didn't you guys just talk before? I wish you the best....I seriously do BUT I feel in your case... Nothing has been resolved... sure you got her back...but THE goal is not to be in love...its to STAY in love... Make sense? Communication is HUGE! I wish you could have been a bit stronger in this. I feel like you guys are going to jump in the pool before checking for water. AGAIN, PLEASE I wish you the BEST.... I have seen this sort of thing over and over...take care and I hoe you will ALWAYS fiind what you are looking for my friend. Good Luck and God Bless, -SuperDave71 Link to comment
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