THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[redreine]

I wonder how he could never think of her while he was with you, but still hope every day she'd come back.

 

My thoughts exactly.

 

He told me he just started thinking about her in the past few days, too.

 

I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. I'd certainly hope no one would take part in the relationship we shared while wishing to have another.

 

I can't even explain how hurt I am, though. He told me he would always be here for me. The thing is, I want him to always be here with me, too.

 

I need to be alone.:sad:

[philove]

Day 17 - Not a bad day today, I felt much better than I did yesterday. My ex is still very much on my mind but it's not bothering me as much as it did. I felt very depressed on Friday night whilst I was looking at my friends facebook profiles. Many of them are in settled, happy relationships, some are even married. I really envyed them and I couldn't help but think "when will I ever have the chance?" It got me really depressed and I felt very sorry for myself

 

When I look back at my life I think I have achieved all the things I wanted but one thing... A decent, honest, beautiful girl who loves me as much as I love them. I get really frustrated with myself at times because I'm not a bad looking guy, I'm a good loving person but I always seem to attract the ones I'm either not interested in or they are screw ups like my ex.

 

Please someone from up above answer my prayers!

[Anon21]

Day 6

 

Yesterday was a drag... I had to work, and work was slow, so I couldn't stop thinking about her. One of her co-workers came in to order something, seeing her made my stomach feel sick, because I was reminded of my ex.

 

After work I went out drinking, it has been a long long time since I had drank more than 1 or 2. Got too dunk, and I didn't really feel good. Got home at 2:30am.

 

Felt really crappy and wanted someone to talk to. So of course I drunk dial my ex. Thank god, she didn't answer. I regretted calling her immediately anyway. I just feel bummed knowing she's gonna look at her call log, and think I'm a loser. I want her to think I've moved on with my life and I'm happy.

[LemonCheesecak]

Day 1 of Take 2

 

Its been a good day, did some course work, all the shopping I needed to catch up on, then went to catch Watchmen with a female friend of mine.

 

But now I'm home, and I'm alone. And I've realised its been about 3 weeks since I last heard my ex's voice. And I'm struggling to remember how it sounds. It was by no means a beautiful voice, she was small, and screeched a bit, but that is just one of the things I love about her.

 

I'm not going to contact her though. After exchanging texts with her yesterday, I've decided that if she felt the need to dump me, she doesn't deserve my words.

[TLguy]

Day 14...

 

Feeling good apart from having a throat infection. I barely think of her at all now...but I do still think of her at least several times a day. NC must go on. Have met someone else though who seems to really like me...which has helped.

 

Plenty of fish and all that my NC amigos

[Viper55666]

Day 4

... Futhest I've made it in a long time but suppose she has been out of the country so hasn't been completely of my own doing, all though I could have text her but I didn't!

Shes back today though so will be a real test of strength today! Time to get some back bone me thinks!

Apparently she hasn't got anyone else nor does she want anyone else, but my way of coping and sticking to NC at the moment is to assume she is lying and has found someone else. Makes it so much easier to cope with not speaking to her. I just really hope I dont cave... again! today will be the first test, also its our wedding anniversary soon so that will be a very hard day to get through.

Still dont know what the hell happened! Not to blow my own trumpet but I think the saying Nice guys finish last is so very true!!!

[philove]

Not to blow my own trumpet but I think the saying Nice guys finish last is so very true!!!

 

Yep it definitely is! My ex is from Southampton too and around the same age as you!

[Viper55666]

Yep it definitely is! My ex is from Southampton too and around the same age as you!

 

Wll maybe all us good guys should turn into arseholes then, obviously being understanding, caring and faithfull means nothing these days!

[philove]

Wll maybe all us good guys should turn into arseholes then, obviously being understanding, caring and faithfull means nothing these days!

 

I sometimes think the same! but it's something I could never do, it's just not in my nature. Why are all the nice girls attracted to the * * * * * s though?!

[JohnGalt]

Arseholes get dumped too, but they have little emotion so they don't end up on ENA.

[Viper55666]

I sometimes think the same! but it's something I could never do, it's just not in my nature. Why are all the nice girls attracted to the * * * * * s though?!

 

Yeah I know what you mean, not in my nature either but all the good girls are definatly attracted to them. Oh well maybe its just a youth thing. Hopefully when they get that bit older and wiser they will start to appreciate the qualities of a good man.

[brazilgirl21]

Day 21 - I'm starting to get serious with the guy I'm dating... However, I am not even remotely prepared for a new boyfriend. I don't know what to do because the guy is really nice and I do enjoy spending time with him! On the other hand, I know on my subconscous that I can't wait for my ex to find out that I'm seeing an older, hotter guy, which makes me feel pathetic and defeated as I'm still thinking about him!

[Ixtapa]

Wll maybe all us good guys should turn into arseholes then, obviously being understanding, caring and faithfull means nothing these days!

 

I am one of those girls who was dating an arsehole......and to be honest I do not understand MYSELF for holding on to this idiot !!!! The worst thing being that I still care about him (when he obviously doesn't). He was caring and understanding at the beginning though....but it didnt last very long

 

Definitely NOT dating another "bad" guy......

[icandothis]

This is such a good idea, day one for me!

[Viper55666]

Day 21 - I'm starting to get serious with the guy I'm dating... However, I am not even remotely prepared for a new boyfriend. I don't know what to do because the guy is really nice and I do enjoy spending time with him! On the other hand, I know on my subconscous that I can't wait for my ex to find out that I'm seeing an older, hotter guy, which makes me feel pathetic and defeated as I'm still thinking about him!

 

Fair play for at least trying to get out there!

If you enjoy this guys company but are not ready for anything more then why fret over the situation? this guy has obviously cheered you up so there is nothing wrong with that! Just make sure you let this guy know where you are so theres no awkward situatuions, im sure he will be cool with that as long as your up front with him, if hes not then hes not worth your time...

"Those who matter dont mind and those who mind dont matter!"

 

Everyone feels the same way about hoping the ex finds out, its a natural thing, you want to show him that you are getting on with your life to see his reaction, I would be exactly the same! As long as your not using this new guy JUST to get up your ex's nose then dont feel guilty about it!

 

I wish I could do the same, I got asked out last week but I couldn't accept. I know full well that if my ex said she wanted to come back then I would accept without even thinking about it and I just dont think it would be fair to get involved with someone else when I feel that way. Because unlike you I would not be able to resist or hold back and I would do things that perhaps I shouldn't and string the poor girl along. I think im destined for a long time on my own!

[philove]

Give it time Viper, you will feel better eventually. You definitely did the right thing by turning the date down, did you explain to her the situation?

 

I'm currently seeing someone else but I'm taking it very slow with her and she understands completely. I think being with someone new does help you get over your ex but only when you feel ready.

[BrokenheartUK]

I don't know what day it is, to be honest I've stopped counting.

 

I've calmed down after being really angry when I was posting my last message, although I still hurt that my ex didn't even text me on my birthday. I've since been speaking to a mutual friend and she said that my ex hadn't forgotten, but that maybe she didn't think her getting in touch was such a good idea as she knows I'm still hurting over her. I can see her point but still, a simple 'Happy Birthday' and nothing more wouldn't have been read into by me. It made me think she didn't care, she did the same thing on the day of my Grandma's funeral and didn't even text to see how I was, which made me feel awful.

 

I carried on speaking to my friend and she said she'd seen my ex a couple of weeks ago who had asked if I was okay and seemed 'really concerned'. I don't understand why, as she has a new man to care about so it baffled me a bit. It was nice to know that she thought of me enough to ask how I was, though. My friend told her I had been really down which is true, and a sick part of me hopes that it made my ex feel bad, if only for a second.

 

I have an overwhelming urge to contact my ex today and tell her that she really hurt me by not sending me a birthday message, but there's no point and texting her just to make her feel bad would be a nasty thing to do. I don't want our first piece of contact to be negative, no matter when it comes. I've decided to send her a birthday card next month, I'm a decent person so it's just what I would do regardless of the situation. Even though we're not in contact, I could never just let her birthday pass without some kind of acknowledgement: we dated and were a part of each other's lives for two years, ffs.

 

In other news I am just staying friends with this girl I had a bit of fun with on Friday, but I really wish we could be more. Not boyfriend/girlfriend as Lord knows I am in no way ready for another relationship, more a fwb situation as she is in the same boat as me and doesn't want a relationship either. No matter how good it made me feel in the short term, having physical contact with a girl again just made me miss my ex even more, to tell you the truth.

 

Oh well, the lonely train rumbles on and at least I had a little bit of fleeting fun...

[Viper55666]

Give it time Viper, you will feel better eventually. You definitely did the right thing by turning the date down, did you explain to her the situation?

 

I'm currently seeing someone else but I'm taking it very slow with her and she understands completely. I think being with someone new does help you get over your ex but only when you feel ready.

 

Yeah I explained, her marriage broke down last year so she knows the score. It just annoys me because shes beautiful, funny and intelligent and if I was in my right mind I would have snapped up the oppertunity. It just makes me so angry that even 3 months after the seperation Im still letter her control my life! indirectly, but it still has the same effect.

 

Shes back from amsterdam today and I was on facebook earlier and saw her friend had posted photos of the trip, its taking every ounce of strength I have not to look. I'm really hoping not to see her today, but I think its going to happen, I work next door to her house so im bound to bump into her on my way to the car, I am just that unlucky! I dont know what to do If I do...

[philove]

Yeah I explained, her marriage broke down last year so she knows the score. It just annoys me because shes beautiful, funny and intelligent and if I was in my right mind I would have snapped up the oppertunity. It just makes me so angry that even 3 months after the seperation Im still letter her control my life! indirectly, but it still has the same effect.

 

Shes back from amsterdam today and I was on facebook earlier and saw her friend had posted photos of the trip, its taking every ounce of strength I have not to look. I'm really hoping not to see her today, but I think its going to happen, I work next door to her house so im bound to bump into her on my way to the car, I am just that unlucky! I dont know what to do If I do...

 

The way I would deal with it if I saw my ex again would be to act like life is treating me well. She will see you as being strong and dignified which is very attractive for a girl. Do you want her back?

[Viper55666]

The way I would deal with it if I saw my ex again would be to act like life is treating me well. She will see you as being strong and dignified which is very attractive for a girl. Do you want her back?

 

Yeah man, shes my wife. I meant my vows, I would do anything to get her back. I just dont think there is anything I can do, so for now I just want the pain to stop! Or at least her to stop trying to be my friend so I can sort my life out!

[philove]

Yeah man, shes my wife. I meant my vows, I would do anything to get her back. I just dont think there is anything I can do, so for now I just want the pain to stop! Or at least her to stop trying to be my friend so I can sort my life out!

 

In that case, I would explain how you feel to her. Tell her you need time to heal for awhile and you think it would be best to cut contact with her until you feel ready. She broke up with you right? What was the reason you broke up?

[Viper55666]

In that case, I would explain how you feel to her. Tell her you need time to heal for awhile and you think it would be best to cut contact with her until you feel ready. She broke up with you right? What was the reason you broke up?

 

Yeah she broke up with me... Not sure why, dont think she knows either... we had been together for 5 years so we were young when we got together and her parents were very strict on her when she lived at home and 'apparently' shes never had 'real' freedom and for some reason 9 months after we got married she decided that that was exactly what she wanted. She had been wanting to start trying for a baby for a while and I always said it wasn't the right time and then 3 weeks before the split after another conversation about it I said 'ok lets do it' and I think that made her think about her future and made her think that she didn't want to be tied down at 22, understandable but why the hell did she marry me then?????????? I dont really understand, we still get on great, theres no real hard feeling between us, admittedly we had our problems but who doesn't! I really dont get it and I dont think I ever will, thats the hardest thing.... to lose the love of your life and not know why!

[Hanyou]

Day 5 Redux...

 

...was able to get through the weekend which seemed like forever; but was able to overcome thinking of her going to Vegas w/o me...I usually hate the weekends since I can't hang out with our mutual friends anymore w/o seeing or thinking of her...but got through the loneliness...actually started thinking of dating other girls and that there is someone else out there. Still not ready to date in case it might be a rebound thing and can't do that to some innocent girl...there is this one that's interested in me but I don't want to give her the wrong impression until I know myself...The next couple of weekends will be good/easy now since I have plans that don't involve her or our mutual friends...

[JohnGalt]

Classic case of GIGS man. It sucks. I think my ex-fiance is the best woman in the world and I'll never find anyone like her again and she up and left after 5 1/2 years. It is tough, bro. I'm 25 and strong and this has just torn me apart. A grown man torn apart by love. I've actually saved your avatar because I feel exactly like him.

 

People act like I should just get over it, but no one knows what we've been through in those 5 years.

 

I know my fiancee will come back to me, but she's stubborn and it is going to take a long while. Who knows if I'll accept her back then? I don't want to, but I can't imagine me falling out of love with her.

 

Your wife needs time and space. She might come back man after she gets all this crap out of her system. It might take a while though. In the meantime, we just gotta make sure we don't fall to pieces.

[Viper55666]

Dude that just says it all, My friends just dont understand! they think I should just get over it and get on with my life and just dismiss it everytime I try to talk to them about it! Times like this you know who your friends really are! Yeah I had pretty much sussed that it was GIGs but still doesn't make it easy to take or explain. I hope she does come back but knowing my luck it will be the day after I've moved on and then my failed marriage will be on my conscience not hers! I think i've already fallen to peices, I've cried my eyes out, put myself in A&E with alcohol poisioning and picked fights with people who probably didn't deserve it, NOT THINGS I AM PROUD OF! thats why I just need her to leave me alone, stop contacting me all the time and trying to be my friend so I can start to pick up the peices, but so far i've been too scared to do anything about it... guess i just feel like if I shut her out then shes never going to come back, or she might be trying to contact me to tell me she wants me back... but really, who am i kidding! time to be strong and let her have exactly what she thinks she wants... freedom!

 

Glad you liked the avatar, says it all without saying a word!