THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[philove]

It's getting too easy! It's no longer a challenge but part of me wishes she would get in contact with me.

 

I still think about her every minute of the day but the thoughts are growing less and less intense each day.

 

I often wonder what she's doing, who she's seeing etc but part of me doesn't want to know incase it upsets me.

 

Ignorance really is bliss.

 

Peace out

[Viper55666]

Day 1... Again! She phoned me last night as my dads been I'll. Can't help myself, always answer the phone! Feeling pretty crappy today, going to a friends birthday tomorrow (and so is she!) Really worried about the outcome, either I'm going to get smashed and make a fool of myself or someone will try it on with her and I'll end up smashing them! either way not good! I know I cant trust myself to stay sober tho.

[BrokenheartUK]

It's getting too easy! It's no longer a challenge but part of me wishes she would get in contact with me.

 

I still think about her every minute of the day but the thoughts are growing less and less intense each day.

 

I often wonder what she's doing, who she's seeing etc but part of me doesn't want to know incase it upsets me.

 

Ignorance really is bliss.

 

That's a good attitude to have philove, it's one I share 100%! I still think about my ex and wish she would get in contact with me just to let me know she hasn't forgotten about me, but I know she won't. It's my birthday in about 2 weeks, I wonder if she'll bother with a card or even care to remember?

 

Ignorance is bliss - well said. I so desperately want to see her but NOT seeing her is the only thing keeping me going at the moment, it really is strange.

Day 15 for me, the days and nights are getting better but the weekends are still very hard to get through. It's only been two weeks, it feels like two months! Time slows to a crawl when you are in NC which seems to make it twice as hard

[philove]

That's a good attitude to have philove, it's one I share 100%! I still think about my ex and wish she would get in contact with me just to let me know she hasn't forgotten about me, but I know she won't. It's my birthday in about 2 weeks, I wonder if she'll bother with a card or even care to remember?

 

Ignorance is bliss - well said. I so desperately want to see her but NOT seeing her is the only thing keeping me going at the moment, it really is strange.

Day 15 for me, the days and nights are getting better but the weekends are still very hard to get through. It's only been two weeks, it feels like two months! Time slows to a crawl when you are in NC which seems to make it twice as hard

 

Hi Brokenheartuk. Don't get me wrong I am still grieving her and I do miss her but no longer do I have the urge to contact her anymore. If you and your girlfriend departed on good terms I can't see why she wouldn't wish you happy birthday but try not to expect it so that you don't feel dissappointed.

 

I want to see my girlfriend too but I know if I did it would only open up healing wounds so however much you do just tell yourself you are better off without her. I'm quite lucky that my girlfriend lives 150 miles away so the likelyhood of seeing her is next to none!

 

I know what you mean about the time going slow, it was especially the first week for me but now it is starting to get back to normal.

 

Tbh I don't think this forum helps with trying to forget about your ex because everytime you are on here it makes you think about them. It is feeding the beast so I'm gonna try and cut down my daily dose of it for a while. But when you do feel weak and need to vent it is perfect.

 

Stay strong mate

[wiley]

Day 8.

 

Feeling okay today and have been for the last few days. I think I just miss being in a relationship the most, and sharing everything with someone. But I do still think about her every night before I go to sleep and when I wake up. That still sucks!

 

I wish she would contact me, I think she has forgot about me or something :sad: she only calls when shes having problems with her new BF.

[BrokenheartUK]

I want to see my girlfriend too but I know if I did it would only open up healing wounds so however much you do just tell yourself you are better off without her. I'm quite lucky that my girlfriend lives 150 miles away so the likelyhood of seeing her is next to none!

 

You're lucky - my ex lives a 5 minute walk away from my house which somehow makes it harder to not think about her. The proximity makes me feel like she is still in my life, I can't explain it! Luckily I haven't bumped into her since going NC which is a little weird, the city we live in isn't that big and I can't believe I haven't run into her on a Saturday afternoon in a shop or something. I don't want to see her as it would just be too painful, even photos of her are hard to look at still. I should point out that I was the dumper in the relationship, so none of this makes a damn bit of sense.

 

Tbh I don't think this forum helps with trying to forget about your ex because everytime you are on here it makes you think about them. It is feeding the beast so I'm gonna try and cut down my daily dose of it for a while. But when you do feel weak and need to vent it is perfect.

 

I agree, I read SO many conflicting threads on here that it's started to impede my healing. I come to ENA daily to vent and for comfort but whenever I read a thread about people getting back together I start to hope again, then inevitably I will read a response a few minutes later from a dumpee to the tune of "I still love my ex but I could never get back together with him and I'm happy with my new partner." It just ends up messing with my head!

 

Arg

[longdist]

3 Weeks

I've felt really good the last couple of days. It's happened before, but I often return to a state of depression. I feel like I'm on the verge of getting over things and almost want to just become friends with my ex b/c I enjoy our conversations. I know deep inside though, I would still want to get back together, so I'll continue to let it go.

 

The only thing I struggle with now is thinking of her and her possible new boyfriend together. I don't even know if she is dating, and part of me wants to know, while part of me doesn't. If I know, I think I could completely let go.

[BrokenheartUK]

The only thing I struggle with now is thinking of her and her possible new boyfriend together. I don't even know if she is dating, and part of me wants to know, while part of me doesn't. If I know, I think I could completely let go.

 

This is a really tough one as 'knowing' or 'not knowing' each have their benefits and pitfalls, at least for me. I know my ex is now in a new relationship and it is so difficult to comprehend thinking about her with someone else, but at the same time knowing that she is with another guy also gives me closure on everything. Something tells me that if she was single, I'd still be stuck in the emotional rut I was in a month ago when she was single, but refusing to take me back.

 

I still hope that one day we will be back together so I can't say it helped me 'get over her' at all, it just enabled me to try and start moving on a bit quicker. Even though I have no idea how their relationship is going, I think the worst and imagine that she and him are happy and that it will last. It seems to make it easier for me to concentrate on myself right now, I can't stay standing still pining for her forever 'just in case' they break up, and besides, I know deep down she wouldn't want to get back with me anyway.

 

She has her own life to lead so I have to lead mine, but the door will always be open for her.

[wiley]

The thing that still upsets me most is... when she ended it, she said these exact words.... "Babe, don't worry, i'm not gonna replace you in a hurry"

 

2 Weeks later she got a new BF! I felt so disrespected. I would never jump into a new relationship that quickly no matter what happened, or even say what she said and not meant it.

 

=;love

[brazilgirl21]

There is NOTHING harder than your ex moving on and being with someone else before you. It's tough, it kills, and we need to let them live with them, give them space, and mak them realize if they are really better for them. If they are, well, good for them. If not, well, only time will tell them.

 

NC is our best friend my friends!!

 

Day 2 - this time I am going to last!!!!!!

[BrokenheartUK]

If you don't last I'm going to come to Brazil personally and kick your * * * * !

 

wiley > I know you must be hurting like mad right now, especially after what your ex said to you (which is really cruel and disrespectful). The only solace I can offer is that if she's with someone after just two weeks, it sounds to me like a rebound and it won't last. It's just how some people deal with losing a relationship.

[JohnGalt]

Eh,

 

I'm in an emotional rut. I really want to contact my ex just to see how she's doing and to see if she misses me. But I'm not going to. I've come too far to throw it all away now. Besides she's at Carnival having the time of her life. No need to think about her ex-fiance. heh.

 

I love this girl. It is silly trying to tell myself that I don't. I'm hanging on to hope. Maybe it is because Obama says we should Hope or maybe I'm just being delusional, but I really want her back....

 

I miss her

[ladyjp]

There is NOTHING harder than your ex moving on and being with someone else before you. It's tough, it kills, and we need to let them live with them, give them space, and mak them realize if they are really better for them. If they are, well, good for them. If not, well, only time will tell them.

 

NC is our best friend my friends!!

 

Day 2 - this time I am going to last!!!!!!

Brazil- you are correct. That is just the worst kind of pain thinking of them with someone else and so soon. It is getting better but I still wake up with the thought in the middle of the night. I think if he would just STOP texting me and calling me every few days it would be easier. Day before yesterday he told me he thinks of me when he is "with" her. Gave me hope but he is still with her and not me.

 

I have gone to NC. The other is just too painful. Surprisingly- I don't feel half bad!

[SighSob]

The thing that still upsets me most is... when she ended it, she said these exact words.... "Babe, don't worry, i'm not gonna replace you in a hurry"

 

2 Weeks later she got a new BF! I felt so disrespected. I would never jump into a new relationship that quickly no matter what happened, or even say what she said and not meant it.

 

=;love

 

2 weeks...? Lucky you! Better than being replaced the very moment she dumps you - which is what happened to me. If I survived the pain, you will too.

[ladyjp]

2 weeks...? Lucky you! Better than being replaced the very moment she dumps you - which is what happened to me. If I survived the pain, you will too.

I feel your pain. He replaced me with a new girl only 2 weeks later as well. All you can do is what Brazil said. It will either work out for them and Good For Them or It won't and Time will tell! Plus, you have to wonder the emotional health of someone that is so needy they need to have someone every minute and can't be alone at all after a break up? Is this person really a healthy person for you if they are so unhealthy themselves? I don't think so!

[brazilgirl21]

Well, better than "fighting" for your ex with the girl he was currently seeing for 3 months, to then have your ex choose you, then out of the blue "cheat" on you (we were together even though not official) and go back to the girl. I shouldn't have let him go partying with his friends for New years! I should have gone... but you know, if you love something, set them free, and I thought giving him space would be the best I could do for him. Well, obviously, the girl was smarter than me.

 

Anyways, broken, I will make it this time! I promise!! I know I will have to see him in our mutual best friends grad party in 1 month, but until them, it's me, me, me. And at this party I will just NOT talk to him if he doesn't come up to me and ugh, I don't know what I will do when I, for the first time, see him with her but it's my best friend I can't avoid her graduation. And he can't either. So yeah, it's going to be dandy. I'm thinking about paying for a date! lol, joking put the thought DID cross my mind!!

[LittleLost]

Day 3. No response to my e-mail. Better this way, I guess. I think when she stops to think about it, she'll be forced to try it again. Which is why she's running away from that. Well, I'm running in the other direction. Anyway. I spent a total of 2 hours thinking about her yesterday. I'm getting better at this.

 

I don't really know how to compare pains. It just hurts. I mean, in my case... She didn't go after anyone else. And it hurts like hell. Because I know she's moping about the broken relationship. To which she didn't give a good reason yet. So... what is the point of it all? I don't know. It's not like I was an awful boyfriend. I just don't understand. Screw it.

[brazilgirl21]

Littlelost - It's Carnival in our country and I'm going to be in my hometown, Salvador, I mean, for God's sake if I don't find joy in those crazy streets!!!! I'm going to be upbeat!! Just imagine how people on our country will be partying and being brazilian and happy this week and try to think that's there's more to live than our exes. We are young and healthy! It might not seem like it now... but there is!!

 

Just keep posting and venting guys, we are all in this together (HSM reference here? haha)

[LittleLost]

I shouldn't have let him go partying with his friends for New years! I should have gone... but you know, if you love something, set them free, and I thought giving him space would be the best I could do for him. Well, obviously, the girl was smarter than me.

 

I don't think it would have helped, though. He had you and he made a choice, you know? I think if you went on New Years', you would have pushed him farther. I guess it's really better for you to actually be strong and prove him right, prove that you are strong and will be fine.

[LittleLost]

Littlelost - It's Carnival in our country and I'm going to be in my hometown, Salvador, I mean, for God's sake if I don't find joy in those crazy streets!!!! I'm going to be upbeat!! Just imagine how people on our country will be partying and being brazilian and happy this week and try to think that's there's more to live than our exes. We are young and healthy! It might not seem like it now... but there is!!

 

Just keep posting and venting guys, we are all in this together (HSM reference here? haha)

 

Phew, Salvador! Man. I was there in 2006. It's amazing. Just enjoy that you are single because when I went there I wasn't and she wasn't with me. It was... weird. But I'm a good guy, you know... I had fun in my own way... but... Salvador... I'll try to go there next year. This time single, hehe!

 

Well, enjoy! I'll have to work, so have fun for me too!

[BrokenheartUK]

I'm in an emotional rut. I really want to contact my ex just to see how she's doing and to see if she misses me. But I'm not going to. I've come too far to throw it all away now. Besides she's at Carnival having the time of her life. No need to think about her ex-fiance. heh.

 

I love this girl. It is silly trying to tell myself that I don't. I'm hanging on to hope. Maybe it is because Obama says we should Hope or maybe I'm just being delusional, but I really want her back....

 

I miss her

 

Hang in there John, I'm sure you know now by now as I do that each day you feel different. I miss my ex with all my heart but I know that not contacting her is the best thing for me. Sometimes I think it's selfish of me to just disappear from her life but then I remember she that she really doesn't care if I get in touch with her or not, which makes it easier for me to resist.

 

My hope will never die either. Yes it's stupid, irrational and is the one single thing holding back my healing but I can't make my head ignore my heart, as much as I really should! If I look at it objectively, all of the facts point towards a life without her: I dumped her, I broke her heart and she moved onto a new partner after 4 months so I know it definitely isn't a rebound. She is HAPPIER WITHOUT ME. It still doesn't change the fact that I just can't let her go. It's all out of my control and I can never make her come back as she doesn't want me anymore...the only thing I can do is try and be happy on my own and take it day by day.

 

I think if he would just STOP texting me and calling me every few days it would be easier. Day before yesterday he told me he thinks of me when he is "with" her. Gave me hope but he is still with her and not me.

 

That must be so awful for you. I think it's really unfair of your ex to do this, it's playing with your emotions and giving you false hope while they get all the benefits of a new partner. It's almost like he's rubbing your nose in it in a way. NC is definitely the best thing for you as I know I wouldn't be able to deal with all the false hopes that statements such as the one you mentioned bring.

[brazilgirl21]

Carnaval 2006 - I was with my ex... Carnaval 2007 - I was with my ex in Salvador - Carnaval 2008 - I went to Paris with my friends and broke up with my ex right after it because I wasn't in love =[ I wish I had been with him.

 

Oh well!!!! What's done is done.

 

Do you live in the US and plan to forever? I'm moving there next year, for business school.

 

Ok, well, I guess we are making this a chat forum and it's not the intention. Sorry mods.

[wiley]

Well she is still with her new BF. They have been together for about 2 months now. I just hope he doesn't hurt her.

[Sunkist09]

Day 13 - last night was hard. Trick for all of you who stays up all night, I find it easy, whenever you find yourself waking up, just read a book, it'll put you back to sleep in less than 30minutes. It's better than staying up for 2-3 hours just thinking.

 

I miss my ex alot. He was soooo sweet to me, but I was a total drama queen.

[Sunkist09]

Anyone from Los Angeles, CA?