THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[thedude27]

Day 10 (I have to go count these out on the calendar all the time now)

 

I am having a little more trouble that before her call but I'm hanging in there at this point. I keep thikning about some of the good times insead of being angry so that makes it a little harder.

 

Not sure why my heart still wants her but for some reason it does, my head on the other hand is pretty far down the path of being gone for good. I'll just keep on keeping on. I will not contact her, that is for sure, but I still really wish she were back and none of this ever happened. I wish it in a way knowing that its not really possible kinda like if you have ever wished to hit the lottery. You know it isnt going to happen but you think it would still be nice. Still her move and if she wants any chance at all she might want to make it sometime soon before the game is completely over. I wont hold my breath on that she is only person I know more stubborn than me.

[thedude27]

On the bright side i met a beautiful women this weekend and her bestfriend told me that she thought I was cute after our conversation. She is 25 and an administrator at the student affairs department at a college. Sexy and smart.

 

 

Grats man keep that mojo working lol

[babes23]

Hello everyone, Day 1 for me. I have an advent calendar at home, new month, fresh start. My calendar shall note my progress, so each time i open a door then that is another day which i've gone no contact for and of course the chocolate inside is a plus point . A simple method but i hope it works for me.

 

I have nothing at all to say to him anymore, yes being in no contact will hurt as yourselves know, but it's something which needs to be done for my own sanity and wellbeing.

 

I wish everyone well, lets all give ourselves a head start into the new year by keeping this up now x

[Mhaira]

Hello everyone, Day 1 for me. I have an advent calendar at home, new month, fresh start. My calendar shall note my progress, so each time i open a door then that is another day which i've gone no contact for and of course the chocolate inside is a plus point . A simple method but i hope it works for me.

 

I have one too, which he bought for me while we were still together. Strangely, opening the first door today reminded me of why I need to stay in NC, instead of making me miss him. So hopefully it will work for me too.

[Tyler82]

Day 15.......sort of.

 

I made it 14 days with No Contact. On Day 11 she text me to say sorry but she keeps calling me with her speed dial and that she hopes I am well. I had no missed calls so I wasnt sure what that was about. I didnt respond. Then on Day 14 she text me in the evening to ask if the things I left behind in the storage locker were things I wanted or things for her to throw away. I ignored this as I already told her roomate weeks ago that I dont need it.

 

Then an hour later another text saying please just write me back and let me know. I didnt respond

 

Then another half hour she calls. I let it go to voicemail. Then I listened. She said sorry for getting angry and that fighting with me is the last thing she wants to do. She asked if I could just let her know what I want her to do with the items in storage and that she found a few things in the condo when she was packing up and made up a bag of things for me.

 

She also said she hoped my new place is nice and that she heard it was froma mutual friend. Finally asked when we could meet up so she could take our dog for a few weeks. I decided to wait until this morning before I replied about the items in storage. That way she didnt get a response right away and know that I am right there waiting for her. So this morning i text her that she can toos whatever is in storage and that i told her roomate this a few weeks ago. I told her my car was full and I couldnt take anymore and had to leave some things i didnt want behind. I didnt address the dog thing yet.

 

So I replied with one little text on the morning of Day 15. I know I have to engage in contact with her over her picking up our dog. She will be taking her for 2 weeks and then when I get her back I will be telling her that I have decided to keep the dog. I have already decided this but will let her have the dog one last time since we raised it together. Anyways that a separate story.

 

So day 15 i guess. I dont know. If she pushes me for an answer about picking up the dog then ill respond to get it over with. As soon as she gets her its NC again until I get her back.

[starlight40]

Okay im back on day 1, not feeling too bad to be honest, ive de activated my facebook account cos i dont really like it anyway, deleted him from mym messenger but not going to log into it anyway, i deleted his number from my mobile ages ago but thats a bit of a problem because i know it off by heart- people never allow yourself to do that! Whe i go to work im going to leave my mobile at home so i dont have the temptation.

 

Wish me luck and good luck to all you guys too!

[babes23]

I have one too, which he bought for me while we were still together. Strangely, opening the first door today reminded me of why I need to stay in NC, instead of making me miss him. So hopefully it will work for me too.

 

Fingers crossed it works for you too hun, we can give each other a progress report how we're doing via here, hopefully this will spur us on. Bought two new books today at lunch too, so if i ever feel the urge i shall read instead.

 

He didn't deserve me and i want so much more out of a relationship, that's what i must keep on reminding myself.

[babes23]

Okay im back on day 1, not feeling too bad to be honest, ive de activated my facebook account cos i dont really like it anyway, deleted him from mym messenger but not going to log into it anyway, i deleted his number from my mobile ages ago but thats a bit of a problem because i know it off by heart- people never allow yourself to do that! Whe i go to work im going to leave my mobile at home so i dont have the temptation.

 

Wish me luck and good luck to all you guys too!

 

Goodluck Starlight, keep on posting. You can do this, this time!! How long have you been in nc with him previously?

[Robert013]

Day 19

 

I just realized that this place is becoming an adiction for me. I think I need to start weening myself of this site gradually. I still like it for the venting, but I think it is making me dwell on the breakup a little to much. I am getting stronger. I have two dates lined up for this week both with friends but it is building my confidence and ego. The one girl I just met she is coming over to watch a movie this week. I think she wants more than a friendship but i don't. I will let her politly know my intensions. Oh shoot I have to get my house straight. lol. I have been trying to do so much with friends and family that I have neglected my home. An hour tonight and maybe tom. should be enouph.

 

I just realized I met 7 different women in the past week. Just conversation and flirting, but they were all atracted to me and gave me compliments. All enjoyed my company and didn't want me to go. I didn't take it any further than conversation and flirting because I am not ready to date for real just casual friendly dates for now. But soon very soon.

 

I also saw some friends that I haven't seen in many months. My women friends all were amazed at my apearance. Dropping 25 pounds and hitting the weights does wonders. Some of my old high school friends said that I look like I did in hight school just more mature of course. All this positive attension does great for my confidence and ego.

 

My first girlfriend from middle school and very close friend also told me that she thought I was settling with my ex. She was sad for me that we broke up but she thought that I could do much better and deserved a nicer person. She said that I was a good catch, and to believe her because I should not worry. She said that she had always thought that and so did many of my other friends that she knows. This is not the first time I have heard this from some very close people. It is weird that you do not hear this stuff until the breakup. Some of the people I have heard this from I thought were better friends with my ex. Come to find out the reason why they were friends wiith us was because of me.

 

I see now why my ex doesn't have to many friends. She is not a complete person and is not very sociable. She is defined by the person she is with and can't be alone. The problem is her new flame is a jerk therefore she will most likely end up loosing some of her good friends. Oh well not my problem now.

 

Overall I am starting to see a glimmer of light. Attractive women seem to like me around them. I have so much support from friends who I would not think cared so much for my well being. I am becoming more confident everyday.

[starlight40]

Goodluck Starlight, keep on posting. You can do this, this time!! How long have you been in nc with him previously?

 

Oh god, ive been in NC loadsa times, im notoriously bad at this! ha.Weve been split for 6 months and i think the longest NC has been about 2 weeks. It hasnt usually been me to break the Nc he will contact first, its usually something that will wind me up and then i bite. No more bitingfrom me!

[babes23]

Oh god, ive been in NC loadsa times, im notoriously bad at this! ha.Weve been split for 6 months and i think the longest NC has been about 2 weeks. It hasnt usually been me to break the Nc he will contact first, its usually something that will wind me up and then i bite. No more bitingfrom me!

 

Make sure you do it this time. 6 months is a long time afterall and you don't need all these set backs, do this for YOU, we're all here to support one another. My birthday is at the end of this month, so hopefully i can reach until then (31st December) and after that, into the new year it should become a little easier.

 

x

[starlight40]

Make sure you do it this time. 6 months is a long time afterall and you don't need all these set backs, do this for YOU, we're all here to support one another. My birthday is at the end of this month, so hopefully i can reach until then (31st December) and after that, into the new year it should become a little easier.

 

x

 

Yes, ENA is a great source of support for me, its kind of whe you think all your friends and family are sick of hearing your problems then you have this great back up called ENA! Ive read a few of your posts and you seem a tough cookie so sure youl be fine but if not you have us!

 

I LOVE your advent calendar idea for NC too, it day one for me too so day one for my choccie too! Im like 28 years old and my mother still gets me a chocolate calendar every year! Too sweet! haha x

[jennamajig]

Day 19

 

Overall I am starting to see a glimmer of light. Attractive women seem to like me around them. I have so much support from friends who I would not think cared so much for my well being. I am becoming more confident everyday.

 

Robert, you and I are very much on the same page. The support from my friends has been great and I am forming a new friendship with one of them I never would have had before. It is eye opening.

 

My own confidence is growing as well. Too bad you and I live in two different states, lol

 

But good for you! Hope to all who see the light. I know if I can make it to Christmas (which I can!), I will be almost healed. 2009 is ahead.

[digitaldiva]

DAY 10....

...**shudders**

[Robert013]

Robert, you and I are very much on the same page. The support from my friends has been great and I am forming a new friendship with one of them I never would have had before. It is eye opening.

 

My own confidence is growing as well. Too bad you and I live in two different states, lol

 

But good for you! Hope to all who see the light. I know if I can make it to Christmas (which I can!), I will be almost healed. 2009 is ahead.

 

I hear ya I would love to take you out on a casual date, to bad we are five hours away.

 

You know I still think about her and I still love the person she was, but it is easier to let that go when they are no longer that person.

 

My only emotion lately is anger towards her. I think this is one of the later emotions in the healing process. This is easily disapated when you surround yourself with positive activities and people. I can't wait until I can truly forgive her because then I will be over this. For now the anger is just fine it is motivational. It helps me push through some of my daily tasks with verosity.

[jennamajig]

I hear ya I would love to take you out on a casual date, to bad we are five hours away.

 

You know I still think about her and I still love the person she was, but it is easier to let that go when they are no longer that person.

 

My only emotion lately is anger towards her. I think this is one of the later emotions in the healing process. This is easily disapated when you surround yourself with positive activities and people. I can't wait until I can truly forgive her because then I will be over this. For now the anger is just fine it is motivational. It helps me push through some of my daily tasks with verosity.

 

I hear you again. Lately the only feeling I have towards my ex is anger. I know if I ran into him on the street I would have a strong urge to tell him off, but that doesn't jibe with the kinda person I am. I am not vindictive. I know the next stage is pure acceptance where I don't care about him at all anymore.

 

The feeling disappears when I am with family or friends because it is easy to forget. It reminds me of the person I was pre-ex and how I was happy with that person. I know I want to find the right person for me, but I also know I am pretty awesome alone. Alone I don't answer to anyone and can just do my own thing. Loneliness has been hard lately, but I am getting used to living by myself. Right now, I can say I miss what could have been vs. what was.

 

I still love the person he once was as well, but he's not that anymore. It does make it a little easier. Like mourning a death.

 

If you are ever in Boston, you should look me up, lol. Though, I must say spending time with the family in NJ for Thanksgiving had me so homesick I wonder if I need a true change of scenery. But then again, that might be too drastic as well

[jennamajig]

Arg. I broke NC and I can't decide if I feel ok about it or not. I was doing so well, I was on day like 18, before that there was very very LC for the 3 weeks after we broke up. I'm actually interested in somone else, and I was doing really well until all of a sudden yesterday and today I was feelign like trying to talk to him and initiate LC for awhile. I think its because I knew what he was doing all weekend as we had discussed teh weekend at length before we broke up.

 

stupid stupid stupid.

 

Don't get down on yourself too much about it. We all have weak moments. It doesn't mean you will get back together. Take it is a healing step and move forward and start over. Did he even respond back?

 

And yay to a new prospect! I hope I can say I am interested in someone else in the future as well

[starlight40]

Arg. I broke NC and I can't decide if I feel ok about it or not. I was doing so well, I was on day like 18, before that there was very very LC for the 3 weeks after we broke up. I'm actually interested in somone else, and I was doing really well until all of a sudden yesterday and today I was feelign like trying to talk to him and initiate LC for awhile. I think its because I knew what he was doing all weekend as we had discussed teh weekend at length before we broke up.

 

stupid stupid stupid.

 

Stop beating yourself up hun its done now, what did you do, call/text? did he respond?

[Robert013]

Arg. I broke NC and I can't decide if I feel ok about it or not. I was doing so well, I was on day like 18, before that there was very very LC for the 3 weeks after we broke up. I'm actually interested in somone else, and I was doing really well until all of a sudden yesterday and today I was feelign like trying to talk to him and initiate LC for awhile. I think its because I knew what he was doing all weekend as we had discussed teh weekend at length before we broke up.

 

stupid stupid stupid.

 

Yea it sucks. We learn from our mistakes, so just take it as a learning experience and let it go. 18 days is not long enouph. I know this because I am on day 19 of NC and I know what will happen if I make contact. She will respond and I will feal bad the next day.

 

Just forget it happened and start from day 1 again. It is only a small step back. Just a little bump in the road you will be fine.

[fiffy]

Hey guys

 

Broke no contact on day 13 and have been hiding away in shame. But seeing other people struggle has made me think I am not the only one who is trying and sometimes slips up. The conversation was not bad. My ex admitted to mentally abusing me and trying to make me think I was crazy. He has also admitted that as forms of mental tourture he would say stuff like I am repulsive and too disgusting to sleep with as a way to hurt me. He also admitted his 'girlfriend that he put on the phone was in fact his land ladies daughter........ classy lady..........I hope no one ever laughs at her after she endures what I have!!!!...............what goes around.............

Anyway I have managed to finally get my things sorted and sent back to me and I just kept very calm cool and mature even though my head was screaming with rage I wanted to say to him........" I want to rip off your fuc**ing head and kick it till there is nothing left...........I want to fu*k your land ladies boyfriend and send her the pics for christmas then laugh right back at her!..........and as for her daughter I wish the same that has happened to me right back at her!"

 

So day 1 again tomorrow...........ughhhhhhhhhh

[digitaldiva]

Do you remember the post I sent to you a week ago when I told you he will call you??

I'm going to tell you AGAIN... He's going to call back. Especially since he thinks that you two have sort of "made up"..... Let's Be Strong...

[dqueen]

Guys, no one ever said NC would be easy! My ex and I broke up 15 months ago!

 

Umm...Day 2...

[Kurt75]

Guys, no one ever said NC would be easy! My ex and I broke up 15 months ago!

 

Umm...Day 2...

 

No its not easy at all! lol

However if you are truly wanting to get over your ex then NC, IS the best way to do it. Almost everyone agrees on it.

 

What was your break up like dqueen? 15months seems a long time.

[crab62]

I have good news to report...

 

I feel gooooooooooooooooooooood!!! Yes I do!!

 

I broke NC last week on Thursday (Thanksgiving and his birthday) and it was awful. Crying into his phone, begging for him to call me back and guess what?... I got nothing!! Nothing. ... but then I got a very sensitive (not) email from him that said "crab... it's very hard to hear your voice and not be driven back to the night we broke up. Give me sometime to get my life back together. I do not hate you, but it would be nice if you respected my feelings and let me heal. Please stop calling!!!!"

 

Sooooooo... after more crying in despair for two days.... I picked myself up and thought he is moving on and so I need to as well. I was tired of carrying his pain the last 3 weeks. I did nothing to hurt him that bad. Okay, I was crabby at times and frustrated because he hardly talked about his feelings and everything was always 'happy happy happy" with him, which I knew it was not... but I did not do any large harm to him. So Saturday morning I made the decision that I needed to stop carrying his pain. My pain was enough, I didn't need to carry his as well. I asked God to take his pain from me... that I could not do it all... and then yesterday I worked on forgiving myself for not being perfect in the relationship.

 

Also... he is the one that walked out... I did not. I would have done anything to make it work... so why should I feel bad?

 

So today was the best day yet. 3 weeks... 3 days since the breakup... and I'm realizing he wasn't my world. Yes I miss him... but the fact that he walked out on me and screamed at me through an email saying "please stop calling".... makes me ill... and makes me miss him less. I deserve better.

 

Day 2 NC... but not sure if I'm going to count daily, cause I think it caused stress last time. I just want to focus on me and living my life and being peaceful. He was my boyfriend, he wasn't my world.

[digitaldiva]

Day 10

 

I thought of calling a second ago. He's back in town. I grabbed the phone.... My stomach started to churn, I felt dizzy, my mouth is dry, and I'm sweatin.... Good reason, not to call, amongst the other obvious reasons...

Wish I had some sleeping pills. I still can't get to sleep.

I want to shut off these feelings for him. I want to NOT want him anymore.

 

1 more hour and it will be 11 days of NC.

I wonder if he's smooth sailing....