THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[DavidWRosario]

Day 6 over

 

Have found a new bounce in my step. Today I gave some real thought to my situation. She is the one who is limited, not me. All I really need is the Love of God and my kids. The rest is unnecessary. Day 7, I will need to see her momentarily when I pick up my Son for the weekend. She sent me a email about details regarding the pick up tomorrow. She is no longer in control and will get those details tomorrow before I go to work. This is no longer on her schedule. Day 8 & 9 should be a breeze. I think part of this N/C challenge is not to see how long you can sulk about a relationship that was one sided. I think the reason for the challenge is to determine and believe that you have value and self worth in this world.

 

My friend asked me about why I was thrown out. According to her my sins were, I worked 60 hrs a week, came home exhausted and slept. Did not care to go out every single evening and party. Brought home my entire paycheck and did not have any type of thing going on the side. Wow

what a Bas$%rd i was. i let her buy or get involved with anything she cared to do and was always there to watch the kids. When she needed a break.

1/2 the single women in North Carolina over 30 would think I am a prize, just based on that.

 

There is a plan for my life, God knows it, I believe it. Just have to wait and see what it is.

 

NO MORE PITY PARTIES

 

Dave

[The Mad Pagan]

Yesterday wasn't so bad. I was busy all day. We'll see what today brings.

[mattysfun]

id really love to try NC but i dont think im strong enough.

 

little back story if youre bored.

im 17.

i met a guy online. we talked for 4 months. then met up, and fell madly in "love"

dated for a month and he ended up breaking up with me, saying that he couldnt date a guy anymore. (in the closet homosexual)

after a month he started flirting with guys again.

3 months later he has a new bf that he's madly in love with.

 

and im still hurt.

 

i promised him that even if we broke up we'd be friends and im trying really hard to do that. but i still care for him deeply.

 

everytime i think im over him something happens to make me think he might still love me.

 

his been dating this new guy for a week now. and the new guy is trying to become my friend.

 

if i did NC im not sure i mentally am able to handle it.

 

what do you think?

[KaylaJoy]

i just wanted to say i find inspiration in your whole attitude!!

 

xo gg

 

Thanks gg!

If I have strength it is not my own. I have walked thru the fire, fell flat on my face, embarrassed myself beyond belief, cried til there were no more tears to cry, and lay there helpless until He came and picked me up. To God be the glory!

 

 

 

Dave R. - naah, I'm oK, my eyes are open much wider than they were before, my ears are opened to hear His whisper, and my heart is open to His leading. I can't help who I love, but I'm confident in His ability to take care of it all.

 

Hang in there buddy, this is a big trial for you I know. It's sad to see a family torn apart, especially when there are children involved. You said one of your babies was a Down's child? How old? I think those kiddos and adults are just precious, and I always imagine there is an angel walking right beside them thru life.

[GoldenHillGuy]

Okay gang. This is my 3rd or so time here. It will be the last. After trying to get her back, and being with her, she told me she only wanted to be friends. So, after flat out refusing her friendship, here I am. I've made it clear to her that I want no contact with her unless she is willing to reconcile. I've pretty much let go about a month ago, but things were looking good between us, so I kept in touch. Things weren't what they seemed, so its time to go NC for good. It should be easy. Went NC for a month before, but this time is different. This could be forever. Crazy to think about, and it hurts, but enough is enough. Its time to cut all ties. And I'm in a great position to do so. Good luck everyone.

[bfla]

Oh GHG, I was watching your story with a lot of optimism

[DavidWRosario]

I think you are strong enough to do N/C, Many of us here have been in relationships forever. Mine was a 20 year marriage that ended (by her choice) less than 90 days ago. If a old fart like me can do N/c a young buck like yourself will be fine. Give yourself sometime to cry. Get involved in your life, summer is coming to a end and I am sure you have studies in the fall to get back to.

 

The two things that have worked for me are Time and the peace of mind I get from God knowing that I have something to offer this world and it is not over for me after 20 years. I can honestly tell you, you have many more special people to come into your life, I can also tell you some of those special people are going to break you heart.

 

Cheer up the sun will rise again - And this too shall pass.

 

Dave

[Steve 7745]

Day 1.

 

Didn't check Facebook or the dating site we used to frequent. I slap myself accross the face when I start daydreaming about her. In the mean time, I focus on work, eating right, working out, managing finances, reading. On Monday I have ballroom dance lessons and training to advance my career.

 

My current book is The Beautiful and Damned, an amazing work by F. Scott Fitzgerald about an heir to a seventh five million dollar fortune named Anthony Patch and his unstable marriage to the "woman of his dreams" Gloria. Everyday I read this book, I'm increasingly thankful that I'm not him and furthermore find myself seeing the kind of people I never want to be with.

[DavidWRosario]

My pastor once said. When you find out that Jesus is all you have left. That is a awesome place to be, because you will realize that Jesus was all you really needed.

 

My baby that you refer to is Grace-Ashely. She just turned 12. She has her mothers compasion (what she use to have) and she has her Dad determination. Her and I can not be in the same room all time, we start fighting over the air we breath. She wins a lot.

 

She is a very smart child, I love her. She is aware something is not right. But she has determined this break up was my fault. Like me she wears her emotions on her sleeve.

 

My Son is David. This soon to be 10 year old is one of the nicest people I have ever met. The world is a loving wonderful place to him. He is so smart. He gets that from his Mom. His curiosity comes from me.

 

If I can figure out how to do it, I will post some pictures of me and my kids.

One of the reasons I get so angry at my ex is. We could not have children of our own. We were foster parents for 45 children in 5 years. Then we adopted Grace and David. Now there parents have separated and divorcing soon. And her reasoning for divorcing is she wants to find herself and she never loved me.

So she used me, and doesnt care about the kids. That really makes my blood boil.

 

Any way you have a great weekend, She you guys Sunday night.

 

 

 

Dave

[GoldenHillGuy]

Oh GHG, I was watching your story with a lot of optimism

 

 

No worries! I'm actually relieved its over. I don't have to guess anymore. It hurts, I won't lie, but I actually was in the right frame of mind and emotion to accept things either way. So in a sense, I've already moved on. I have a date tonight so I'll pull it together and put my best foot forward. One in front of the other until the ex is no longer a 'blip on my radar'.

[bkunt04]

put me in this, starting today

[Steve 7745]

I am stepping this challenge up a notch and extending it to all my exs and not just my most recent.

[mattysfun]

can i get a sponsor? lol

 

i joke but really i know that after 24 hours ill lose it.

 

im thinking of starting my nc tomorrow.

 

im afraid he wont notice.

[amya]

Ok i've done it, 30 DAYS NC... can't say i'm skipping about it but i CAN say i remember when i first read this thread and how i thought naaaa id NEVER be able to do a whole 30 days NC, well, i have.

I suppose all that's left to do really is another 300000000000000000 days NC. Fun ay! Mind you, Day 1

[bkunt04]

perfect day to start too since its the 1st of the month

[Steve 7745]

Yeah, and August is the month of change. By change, I mean the day you work to take your life back.

[KaylaJoy]

2 whole days since I've talked to him. I miss him. I know now that I do cross his mind occasionally, from our conversation the other night. he told me I could always hold my head up when it came to him. that made me feel good.

I talked to Jesus about it alot today, just in everyday conversation. Still holding out hope, still feeling like it's hopeless. No answer. Just keeping on, all is well. Wish I could talk to him, but don't know what I'd say tonight, I want to see him, hang out with him, be in the same room with him.

[xRoh]

Day 5.

 

I went out drinking last night. Thought that would cheer me up. It did at the time, but today I feel worse than before.

 

I just * * * * ing miss him. I hate it.

[meinreallife]

I have to type something here. I need to stay NC. Falling off the last time was not good for me. This challenge for me is not about getting her back, but me moving on. I need this to work.

 

Gasp....I need to fill the hole in me.

[The Mad Pagan]

Not much to report, really. This does get easier as time goes on.

[Steve 7745]

Day 2.

 

Getting ready to work out today. It's chest and back. Dropped to 17.2% body fat, which is progress. Today's chores include cleaning the kitchen, laundry and helping my former roommate move. Tonight I'm going to a dance club with friends. My friend is setting me on a pseudo blind date.

[xxmacbethxx]

Hey every one, ur all doin a good job from what i read, id int read all though

 

 

heres my deal,

 

 

me and my gf well ex gf now have ben dating for about 1 year 8 months

and well she sarted haning around this guy alot and i knew he liked her i warned her about him and stuff, well eventually the guy kiss her she says she pulled away i believe her she has never lied before, but she says she think she migth have started to have feelings for him, but she would never consider to date him ( hes kinda a sleezbag all her girl friends even agree with that) so im not to worryed about that i forgave her and told her i love her and all that fun.

 

i dont dump her but she says she doesnt know what to do we are going through hard times right now moving to colleges and stuff, going to meet new people but we will actully life closer to each other when we do move then we are now,

 

she says she needs room to figure things out i dont think she forgives herself for what happened and maybe even she is afraid that things might happen again, i really trust that it wouldnt she is a smart girl and learns fast i think she is hurting from it more then me. She also says that she isnt sure what she wants, this whole situation is scrambling things up.

 

well she did dump me but we are still friends we have been broken up for 12 days, but we are still close and every thing still talk a lot but this is really taking its toll on me

i honestly think that she is my special some one( i know we havnt been together long but i have always been told you just know) and i cant imagine rest my life with out her.

 

i have been thinking about this no contact thing i even sayed i was going to do it but i cant, part of me wants to and part of me wants to help her cuz i know she is upset to.

I know that all her friends say she has never been happier then when she is with me, and i feel the same way i know that i could never make any one happier or have any one make me feel the way she makes me feel.

 

in all honestly sometimes when i hold her the world becomes a blur and all i can feel is our hearts beating.

 

so any advice is welcomed i want her back so bad, im thinking about trying this tomorrow im note sure yet any good success story's that could help

 

it just seems so hard

[xxmacbethxx]

Uh oh double post

[Steve 7745]

This is going to sound harsh xxMacBethxx, but go NC.

 

I know it sounds cruel and horrid to her, but the fact is she's not coming back for a while. And every time she talks to you, there's this tiny hope in you that prays you're getting back together with her.

 

She misses you, true. And every time she does, she just goes ahead and calls you up or hangs out with you to satisfy that. You need to take that away. You deserve better then to be emotionally used like this. You have to PROTECT yourself.

 

So go NC. Let her scramble to contact you. And if she doesn't, then that's when it's REALLY going to hurt. Read SuperDave's amazing post on NC. It should be a couple of posts back. I really wish the moderators would sticky that post so anyone can read it. It's fascinating stuff.

[xxmacbethxx]

ty for fast response He2etic, just seems so hard cuz, she seems so perfect for me and every thing (maybe im looking at it all to deep with these thoughts in my head) i read the rules and i think i can do it just need to keep busy make a model plane or something lol i think toamrrow i will be day one, i really dont think she can go a day with out missing me and calling, but we will see and maybe ill be busy when she calls and i wont be able to call back i hope this works