HoTung Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 I am not sure whether he said that to make me feel worse or better - i don;t get it either He sent me a text 2 days after the phone call saying "Just 4 ur info, Had an awesome weekend. Didn;t snog any chicks as u presume. U really dont know me. Hope u had a good weekend" i didn;t reply Not heard from him again Link to comment
HoTung Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 oh yeah i remember he said its been a coupld of stressful months with me and he just wanted to go out and forget everything and enjoy himself I have been out with him for 14 months i know he doens;t get drunk that easily - all excuses Link to comment
greywolf Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 I am not sure whether he said that to make me feel worse or better - i don;t get it either He sent me a text 2 days after the phone call saying "Just 4 ur info, Had an awesome weekend. Didn;t snog any chicks as u presume. U really dont know me. Hope u had a good weekend" i didn;t reply Not heard from him again so he lied about kissing another girl? this guy sounds really immature. It's like he's playing some game with you. Link to comment
DieTeufelKatze Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Day 2, after REALLY having fell off the wagon on Sat. night. I'm deciding to let him contact me. My whole reason for coming over that night was to talk things out, but we ended up doing.... other things... instead. Still need some time to figure things out... I'm VERY conflicted about my ex. I honestly don't know WHAT I want right now. Link to comment
brian123 Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Day ??? Getting better. Still wondering if she will ever call me again. I'm trying to assume never. Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 Day 3 of NC...today was a sorta hard one...I wonder what's going on with him, I'm tempted to check out his MySpace page but I'm trying to stay strong. I got a little teary eyed today, hearing some songs, thinking about how things used to be. He used to treat me so well when we were together; I felt like a princess. He made me feel important to him. I felt secure in a way that I'd never felt before really, and I suppose that was part of his charm, he was very smooth, and I believed him for the longest time. It was only until he abruptly decided he was going to start dating someone he swore to me that he would never date, that things took a very bad turn for the worse. In that moment, and since that time, I doubted every thing he ever told me. He said he loved me more than life itself, that no one had ever made him happier, that no one would ever love me more, and that I was the one he'd been waiting for all his life. Valentine's Day 2008 he told me he loved me and still wanted to marry me, even though I had already told him no. Within a month, he was dating the one woman he swore he'd never date if she was the last woman on earth, and now, just barely two months later, they are planning on getting married. So yeah, I'm having major trust issues in anything he told me while we were dating. How can you love someone more than anything in the world, and then a month later be in love with someone else and ready to marry them? He said what he felt for the new gal didn't diminish what he had felt with me. Oh yes it did!! So I've had very melancholy feelings today...I miss the sweetness of our relationship...we didn't break up because we didn't care about each other, we broke up for reasons beyond our control. I miss talking and laughing with him. I miss leaning on him and depending on him. He was a huge part of my life, and today I feel that void. NC today? Well, I can't say I want to contact him, but I do miss him. Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 Day 27 - In the immortal words of Kramer..."I'm out." There's a long thread about it, and I decided to contact my ex today. Yesterday I said it wouldn't be a problem to make it to 30 days...that's before she called in tears. I have no regrets about my decision and, frankly, I think NC was having its desired effect. The convo went very well, and I realized that I'm a heck of a lot more healed than I thought. I'm at peace with myself and with her. I'm going back to NC/LC, and I'm not going to count days. I don't see that it would serve any purpose for me now. Best of luck to all! Link to comment
Artop Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 So close to breaking it today. Was going to call him or e-mail him to tell him I am not ignoring his e-mails this last week and I miss him. I don't know what I wanted to achieve by doing it. Like he is going to say, "so glad you called, I was wondering if you want to get back together?" Day 27 of NC continues.... Link to comment
shay.spence Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 unfortunately I think if things don't go well tonight I could be joining you all. Link to comment
Mustang Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 Day 5 I've got soooo much uni work to do this week. I'm trying really hard not to think about my ex because it tends to make me lose focus. As you all know, I kind of fell off the wagon last week but I didn't say anything wrong and I made sure that my text message wasn't open ended so I wouldn't get caught up in the same pointless chit chat that we used to always do. Which would upset me in the long run. I've kind of accepted that we can't get back together now. I know that I need to be more self confident and happier in myself. I have uni work to do and I have to find a summer job too. That said, I do still have hope that maybe one day things can be different but I am trying to let go and move on because I actually hate feeling the way I do now. My ex girlfriend's auntie suggested that we all meet up at a gig on June 5th. I'd really like to but I need to get myself together first. So it's not 100% certain that I will but that's my "target". Link to comment
uk_incoming Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 DAY 4 of NC Still dreaming about her Dreamt we met up, started talking and we kissed - god it was so good! I feel so down it's un-true. I still can't help thinking why we couldn't of just worked through the problem she was having. (depression) I guess if there is a certain type of breakup that leads to reconcillation, then this could be it. Link to comment
Brokenhearted87 Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 15 days since we were last talking ie he responded to contact and hadn't yet cut me out of his life.......9 days since I last contacted him Feel hurt and scared I'll never hear from him again Link to comment
brian123 Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 DAY 4 of NC Still dreaming about her Dreamt we met up, started talking and we kissed - god it was so good! I feel so down it's un-true. I still can't help thinking why we couldn't of just worked through the problem she was having. (depression) I guess if there is a certain type of breakup that leads to reconcillation, then this could be it. UK....seems like you and I had a similar BU. It was ~2 months ago for me. I still dream/think of her from time to time. Link to comment
HoTung Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 so he lied about kissing another girl? this guy sounds really immature. It's like he's playing some game with you. No he did that was the stag do before - he had another stag do the weekend i spoke to him and thatone he said he didn;t do anything Not heard from him since tho - he doens;t miss me Link to comment
Unknown70 Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 i wouldn't be able to i cant go a day without ringing my ex Link to comment
theredrocket Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 day 14; 31 days to go Well I made it two weeks but I am strongly considering breaking no contact. I am going to give myself a week to think about it. I just want to get it over with and I'm not sure if another 3 weeks would make any sort of difference. I don't know, guess I'll see how I feel in a week day 15, 30 more to go well I'm resigned to making it at least 3 weeks before I decide anything. The pros of contacting her are that I've have fixed the issues in my life which I was not dealing with which where causing a lot of stress and frustration in our relationship. I feel like such a jack ass for not dealing with them sooner and they really only took two weeks of focus and effort to get done and it makes me sad to think that it took losing a relationship I valued to get me to do that. Contacting her, would allow me to show and tell her about this progress the cons are it might be too late, or it might not make a difference and I would be hurt. Link to comment
HoTung Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 I feel really low today - I want to ring him just to hear his phone ring but i don;t want him to know its me. I can hide my number but i think he will know its me. Link to comment
uk_incoming Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 Ok - WOW, I posted earlier, STILL day 4. She called me as I owe her some money, not breaking NC as she called me for practical reasons. I was sharp, short and assured her I paid the money into her account. Then said I had to go. She sent me an irrelevant message shortly after - nothing to do with the money. She then tried phoning me 3 times. I ignored - w00h00!!! I want to know why she tried phoning but I don't wanna break NC. Should I txt saying "what did you call for?" and THATS IT!!! - no response to whatever she replies with. Link to comment
Annonomous Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 Right well ive had a very odd day. I was doing fine until i got some news thro a friend which forced me 2 break NC. My ex (who says she aint sure what she wants) was drugged last night at a club and i felt i had 2 break NC and just check she was ok as i think it would have been very horrible of me if i hadnt. I only checked she was ok after last night, nothing more. I feel this is a gd enough reason to break NC and as i purely check she was ok and didnt say anything else i dont feel i should have 2 restart from day 1 (altho ultimately the idea of this is 2 move on so wot does it matter anyway?). Since i found out though i have been unbelievably angry at what happened 2 her and what may have happened 2 her if her friends werent there 2 help her, i really want 2 find whoever did it and smack them and i am one of the least violent people u will ever meet........ Anyway does anyone feel it was unreasonable for me 2 break NC in this exceptional circumstance? Link to comment
eurocar Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 Should I txt saying "what did you call for?" and THATS IT!!! - no response to whatever she replies with. Nope. If it's dire, she'd have left a message. She probably just wanted to talk. Don't give her the time of day for a while. Link to comment
DieTeufelKatze Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 Well, I'm thinking of falling off the NC wagon completely (go to LC, letting him do most of the calling) just because it isn't really making sense to me anymore. I have to figure out what's going on between my ex and I, but I'll take my time and maybe let him initiate the "talk" I think we need to have. I had left him two VM messages on Saturday night regarding a strange situation with my previous ex talking to him about us and our relationship... my previous ex is attempting to win me back, apparently, even though I'm ignoring him, and I guess had talked to my current ex on Fri. in a way that seemed to be trying to gather info about me. I guess he didn't hear the second VM until last night, and he called me around 6:30 last night (phone was on vibrate so I didn't hear it and he left a message) thinking I had just left the VM. I was on my way to ballet and then I was going out with girlfriends for Cinco de Mayo, I breifly explained that second VM, and yeah, it was no longer relevant since we'd already discussed it on Sat.. I think I may have come accross as annoyed or terse, but it was only because I was pressed for time. I'm wondering if I should call him back in a few days if I don't hear from him before then. He seemed to want to be in touch, even though it was a mix-up. I miss him, and he seems to be wanting to work something out. It's too soon, but it's very hard to control myself when I want him back so much. I have the feeling that he's going to want to get together this week sometime. Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Day 4 of NC. sad one today, kept remembering stuff, kept visualizing him and her, missed his daily phone calls, a few tears, but I'm OK. Another day of NC under my belt. Whew! Link to comment
Artop Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Got another e-mail from him. Wanted to know how I am doing. Ignored his last one. Trying hard to ignore this one. I think I will sleep on it. Day 28.... Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 well, scratch that NC for day 4. My ex just texted me to inform me that he and his girlfriend of 11 weeks (the one he got the week after Valentine's Day, which is also the week after the last time he told me he loved me and wanted to marry me) are getting married. I'm numb. will post more on another thread, but suffice it to say "ouch". I did not respond by the way, so I did not break my NC, and I deleted his text also. Link to comment
GoldenHillGuy Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Ok, I called her at work, and told her that I needed her to get her stuff out this weekend not because I was trying to be an a-hole, but because it was slowing my progress. I told her one month was long enough to find a storage unit. She said you told me it was OK to keep my stuff there until I found a place. I said I changed my mind because it was not letting me heal and get over it. I was in pain waiting for her to call me. She said she couldn't move it out this weekend. Her girlfriend from Vegas is coming out this weekend. She cried. She said how she read the letter , and how alot of it really hit home with her. Other things she said she had a problem with. Like using me. That's when she started crying. Long story, I said I didn't want to get into it right now at work, but if she wanted to meet and talk about it, I'd leave that up to her. She started balling again. LOL, I was strong. She crumbled. She said I should've told her earlier. She said she really thought I was the one for her, and she knew she broke up with me in her heart a few weeks before she moved out, but wanted to make it work. She eventually gave up. More crying. She said she was going to respond to the letter, but needed time to not get so defensive, and really think it through. Anyways, she said she wants to meet and talk about it, and asked me when. I told her when she is ready for it, give me a call. She cried again. I said, don't cry, there are no hard feelings toward you. I just need to move on, and 'cut the cord' so to speak. More crying. Said goodbye, and take care. What now??? I'm confused, but played it cool. Link to comment
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