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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71


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starting NC all over again... well, actually I'm on day 2 already. I wrote to him asking some business oriented stuff and then expounded on it. talked about how I wished we could at least talk about our marriage. Big mistake. Barely got any response. Won't be doing that again...

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End of Day 20...

 

This week i've been really busy and have not thought of her nearly as much... i guess thats a good thing but i still don't know if i'm getting over her. I do think its all about how you deal with the time during NC that matters. You have to make conscious efforts to move on with your life in order to heal faster. I don't know if i can honestly say that i've done that. I know i'm still clinging on to hope here - at least until monday when she is supposed to call... i know i could be setting myself up for a devastating letdown... what to do what to do...

 

Goodnight all... good luck

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Day 3

 

Feeling ok, only thought about him about 100 times today (it's usually constant!!)

 

A friend of mine reckons that he is psychic and B will come running within a week and everything will be fine. Not sure if he is just being nice. I have to admit I am hoping he really is psychic

 

Don't feel like crying anymore. Maybe because i am hanging in my little world of false hope.

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Day 30

 

Well, our one month NC period has expired. It'll be interesting to see if she contacts me today or tomorrow, or if she's just going to wait for me to say something. I don't think I will contact her - I'm not ready - but if she contacts me, I'll probably be willing to talk (if only for a moment). I'm aware that I'm still not totally healed, but when I compare myself now to the wreckage right after the breakup, I realize that I've come a long way. I still love her, though, and I still have hope that we'll eventually get back together. As a result, I don't think I'm going to be okay with us becoming "just friends". It's strange to think she's been totally out of my life for a month. For everyone going through NC - just keep at it, and things will definitely improve. Good luck!

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Duruffio... i'm feeling the same way as you. what do you think you'll do if she says that she wants to be friends with you right now? I don't think i could just be friends with my ex either - at least not now. I don't know what i'd tell her because at some point i would want to be friends with her if nothing else. I just don't want to risk losing her in my life completely.

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Day #3, still angry...I blocked him on AIM last night. It didn't really accompish anything, since we haven't been talking on AIM and I've been good about not monitoring his away messages, but it felt very satisfying and empowering anyway.

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Yeah so I broke NC last night. I just got so angry. I found out last night (well wasn't the first time I've heard this but it was the first detail account) that my ex has been telling people about out sex life and going into great detail. I don't think I've ever been so angry and I do regret talking to him but at the time....oooh I just don't know. I am angry thinking about it. I just told him I didn't care what he did with his life but not to include me in it. That if he had an ounce of respect for me he would know that telling people my personal matters is wrong. That I wasn't one of his little * * * * s he could degrade like that.

 

I probably did the wrong thing but idk.. something snapped in me. Yes, I've been hurting because he has been changing and hanging around easy girls but I kept NC because I knew what he did with his life didn't have to do anything with mine anymore. I guess I snapped last night when I heard he was trying to dirty up my name just to make himself seem cooler. It was the final stab in the back and I just couldn't take it. I'm sorry guys. I feel like I let a lot of people down, more importantly myself. I am not ashamed of telling him what I said because it was all true but I wish that I had never heard what he was saying about me because I've been filled with this unexplainable rage that I can't describe. I'm just glad it is a 3 day weekend then a 4 day week and then spring break.

 

The bad part is that last night I had one of the BEST nights in so long! I sat with my prom date at this school event (a guy beauty pageant where they dressed up like girls ) and we had fun. Then me and a bunch of girlfriends ended up eating dinner together. It was so nice! Just that afterwards I was hanging out with a mixture of my guy friends and girl friends and then they told me...well the guys did. You know how guys are, they don't think before talking half the time. Well it was more like they were talking about how my ex dumped them (the group of guys) too! Then they said something about him trying to be all cool and then they told me what he was saying.

 

I don't know what to think about his. Of course I'm not in day 13 but Day 1 again. It sucks. I don't care anymore. If he wants to continue talking about it I can't stop him but I at least let him know how I feel about it. Ugh I'm over it. I just never would have thought my ex would sink to such a level. And the stuff he told them was pretty graphic. Not just "we had sex" but he described it and all. Makes me sick to my stomach thinking about how somebody could be so immature.

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Day 36 today. So hard especially I had to ignore his 3 e-mails in the last week. I am thinking, maybe he changed his mind, but the other me takes over "are you crazy or something? if he did, he would pick up his phone and call". Then I thought, maybe he lost all his fingers and toes and can't dial....

 

I was so close to calling him, but I stopped. I know I would feel worse. Ahhh....

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Back at Day 1.

 

I have a little motivation: after getting on well yesterday morning, the ex is suddenly acting cold, as if he's angry at me. I don't know what happened between yesterday morning and yesterday night to make him go from asking "Why don't we hang out anymore?" to not responding to me when I say hi but, whatever.

 

Naturally I'm obsessing over "Why is he mad at me?" but I'm not going to break NC to ask. It's his problem, not mine.

 

I wish I didn't have this personality where I can't stand if people are mad at me. It only goes doubly for my ex. :sad:

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Day one from friday 00:00

last contact was on wednesday by phone and made me sooo angry of the way how she talked to me

I seen her yesterday where I work because we meet each other in the hallway sometimes but there was no eye contact or what so ever.

But I will count from today 21st of march. So see you in april 21st. We 'll se what wil happen

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Back at Day 1.

 

Naturally I'm obsessing over "Why is he mad at me?" but I'm not going to break NC to ask. It's his problem, not mine.

 

I wish I didn't have this personality where I can't stand if people are mad at me. It only goes doubly for my ex.

 

 

I have the same problem with not liking people to be mad at me. And my ex is also mad at me for saying I don't want to be friends, that we both need to just move on.

 

For them, they don't see the problem with being friends, and think we are irrational and mean for not continuing the friendship. So they get mad at us.

 

What they don't realize is the pain they feel from us not wanting to be friends anymore, pales in comparison to the pain we feel when we are around them as "friends".

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agh. it's so hard to have no contact when I am freaking PREGNANT! It would be so much easier if I could have all or nothing- either have my husband back or have no contact ever again and just move on with my life and my baby. But when he writes and asks me about sending money and about things that need an actual answer, I have to write him back... and then when I get no response to MY response, I get so frustrated. I talked to a mutual friend yesterday who said that he wasn't living with the OW and that he didn't think this was the absolute end for my husband and I. I got a little hopeful for the future and then i remembered things that made me so mad... like, before I even moved all my stuff out of the apt I looked in the closet and founde her tv and a bag of sheets in there. And about how he had lied to her a week before we actually ended things and told her he had just left me. And then I fall asleep and have these wonderful dreams about him. Ugh.

Other than the necessary email, it's been 3 days of NC.

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