DuRuffio

Day 30 Well, our one month NC period has expired. It'll be interesting to see if she contacts me today or tomorrow, or if she's just going to wait for me to say something. I don't think I will contact her - I'm not ready - but if she contacts me, I'll probably be willing to talk (if only for a moment). I'm aware that I'm still not totally healed, but when I compare myself now to the wreckage right after the breakup, I realize that I've come a long way. I still love her, though, and I still have hope that we'll eventually get back together. As a result, I don't think I'm going to be okay with us becoming "just friends". It's strange to think she's been totally out of my life for a month. For everyone going through NC - just keep at it, and things will definitely improve. Good luck!

Day 22 Things are going okay - taking a trip this weekend, and really busy with school. I miss her a lot, but I really hope she's happy and enjoying herself without me. It was a long-distance relationship, so I think that might make it a little easier for her (and maybe for me) to "move on". I keep thinking about what I'm going to say the day she finally tries to reestablish contact (it was a mutually imposed 1-month NC period). I think I'm going to tell her that being "just friends" wouldn't be okay with me, but I'll wish her happiness and success. I'm still really hopeful that we'll eventually get back together, but I realize that even if the willingness was there on both sides it would still take an enormous amount of work.

Day 18 Shucks, just when I was doing really well - I had a bad night last night. For the first couple of weeks after the breakup, I was having a really tough time sleeping through the night, because I'd wake up thinking about things and be unable to get back to sleep. However, over the last week or so, I've been able to sleep through most nights without any problems (progress!). Then last night, pretty much out of nowhere, I got barely any sleep, because I kept on dreaming about us. The dreams are pretty much all the same - we reconcile, and end up spending happy times together. So, yeah, I know that it goes back and forth and up and down...I just needed to vent about it. (Though, it'd be nice if those dreams came true, eh?)

BCC - I think that most people here will tell you to avoid contacting him, and give him some time to figure things out. The contact between the two of you will not help either him or you! All the best! I know this is a hard time, so just write it all down here, and we'll do our best to help you through it.

Hey everyone, Day 15/2 (Depending on if you count the blender ) I did something last night that I *never* do. I went to go see a movie - by myself. I've never done that before! Let me tell you, it was a liberating experience - I really recommend it. I spent some time in the mall before going to see the movie, and just treated myself to a few small things (some junk food, a video game, and a book). It was strange to be alone in a place with so many people, if that makes sense. Yet, at the same time, it was strangely healing. Anyways, the movie that I saw was "Definitely Maybe", with Ryan Reynolds (aka Van Wilder) and Abigail Breslin (the girl from Little Miss Sunshine). I can't recommend it strongly enough, especially for all the guys who are going through breakups right now. I just felt like they did so many things *right* with the movie. Firstly, they portrayed the leading male actor as a sensitive individual who was capable of having his heart broken! How many times does that happen? I was trying to keep track of many heartbreaks he sustained over the course of the movie, but I lost count - but trust me, there were a lot! Of course, it's a Hollywood movie, so they used time skips to jump past the heartbreak part - but in a way, it was a good thing, because it shows that they eventually end and it's possible to resume a healthy, normal life again! Without giving away the ending, the movie also demonstrated that love isn't simple or easy to explain. It really does away with the Hollywood notion that there's only one girl for every guy, and vice-versa. Over the course of the movie he falls in and out of love several times, and it's never easy to tell what's going to happen next (just like in real life!). It was really and truly a fantastic post breakup movie! I would really recommend taking an evening and treating yourself. I really think that a lot of people would benefit from seeing it, but that's just my $0.02. I'm glad to hear everyone is doing well

Yikes, I hope that she doesn't interpret it as me trying to "control" the situation. I hope, given the context (I ordered it pre-breakup, it arrived post-breakup, I couldn't return it), she'll just see it as a nice gesture...but that could be hoping for too much. You're right, though - it has sort of caused me to lose focus, and that probably means it was a bad call. I suppose I could have just given it away to someone in town, instead. Looking at it from her point of view, I can definitely see how it might be taken the wrong way - but, again, hopefully it's not taken negatively. I won't get mad at her if she doesn't respond or contact me - it would probably be a good thing if she didn't. Ahhh...starting the counter back at 0.

Okay - so it's Day 14 for me. However, on Day 12, I mailed her a blender (along with some very nice jewelry, it was supposed to be her anniversary present). So I think that counts as breaking NC, because it should be getting there today. Here was my rationale for sending it to her: 1) I already had a blender, 2) She wanted a blender (and I bought it for her), 3) She doesn't invest a lot of emotions into objects, anyways (like, she still uses a lot of stuff I bought her during the relationship). So here's how I feel about it - I feel like I'm on a string again, waiting for her to acknowledge receipt of the gift. She hasn't e-mailed yet - is it because she's mad that I broke NC? Or is it because she's just thinking things over? Or did she not come home last night? Agonizing to wait for a response, assuming one is even coming (and I suppose that's not necessarily a given). So I guess I don't feel good about it.

Well, it's Day 13 for me, but I mailed her a blender (don't ask) that is probably arriving today, so I think I have to start the counter back at zero. (Oh yeah, we were also in an LDR, so I don't know if that changes things). I definitely know what you mean about using the thought of your ex to get yourself out of bed!

Hey Dragon Lady, I am in the same position as you are! I definitely miss my ex a lot, and I find myself thinking about different situations and scenarios that might cause her to come back to me. That thin layer of hope definitely protects me from the totally unbearable possibility of not being together It's been almost two weeks of NC for me, and I've found that I've been having good days and bad days. The worst times for me are during the night, when I can't help but think about her (or worse, DREAM about it). I guess I just wanted to say that you're not the only one in that situation! Here's to hoping (for the both of us).