Crows Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Alright.. people this is the biggest steps I will take in the 5 months since our breakup. It's not conclusive but it appears that she has found a new guy. I deleted her cell number from my phone..im shearing my facebook profile, as well as limiting her ability to view my profile. I am slowly chopping her away. I also blocked her on msn. Link to comment
GameX Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Day 4 I last talked to my ex on Wednesday, wasn't planning on a long time of NC, but I figured since it has been 4 days, I might as well continue on with it. There is no point in starting all over again just to send her an email which won't make any difference in how she feels. I will probably just write down my feelings on a sheet of paper and stick it in a box. I read that that is a good thing to do, and then reflect on them later on Link to comment
Muzatsu Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Ugh starting over, with conviction. I'm going to stick to the 30 day challenge again, and try to go up to 90 straight days without contacting. Haha something that I shouldn't say since I can't go more than 7 days without breaking at the moment. Day 2- Still brewing, see him on my AIM but I have successfully resisted temptation. Link to comment
wyrllish Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Day...one Screwed up past few days and started texting her like a fool. I almost sent a similar email GameX, was playing around with it in my head. Came to the same conclusion...it really won't do anything, glad I was at least able to resist from that. Link to comment
GameX Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Day 2- Still brewing, see him on my AIM but I have successfully resisted temptation. Muzatsu, I found it much easier to block them. This way, they can't see you online, and you wont see them online, so you won't read their away message all the time or check their profile. Works for me. I don't think it is worth it to take the time to unblock her and see if she is online, only to know that the only thing that will come out of it is an away message that will hurt me. Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Back to Day 1 I was doing well, and then one slightly drunken night made me send him an "I miss you what are you doing throwing me away" type email. Atlough I saw it coming before that night, just the alcohol added to the urges I guess. Nevermind eh. I told him if he's not got anything nice and important to say, to not even reply. Well, that was early hours Sunday morning. There's a chance he's not read it, or is thinking about it all -- who knows? But until then it's NC again. And if he never answers, I got my answer and it's time to block him. Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Day 30 starts today! I made it through one month! Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 WELL DONE!, LilBear. That's great Link to comment
Irish Jax Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Starting my NC after breaking up yesterday. Feelings and emotions are up and down. My ex is damned sure I am going to call him and cry about it, but he is wrong. I am doing NC for myself and to show him that he is not so right about me all the time. I told him I loved him enough to let him go and this shows it. Day 1 of the NC challenge. Here we go. Link to comment
sara1 Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Day 25 I think i'm moving forward and i've had some good days, but today i feel like I've really lost him as it's been near a month without receiving any contact from him. I didn't realize the acceptance of the loss would be such an ongoing process. Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Thank you all! My own experience with NC: The first few days was pretty bad. As I'm pretty sure we all find the first few days hard because we just cannot seem to forget. But the first week went by and then I found myself in my second week and was feeling pretty pleased with myself for seeing NC through 2 weeks. In week two though, it was pretty bad because at one point, I found out that he had a picture of him and his new gf on MSN. Bummer. Week three was the lunar new year. And he tried to contact my sister, but she ignored him anyway. The couple of days before and after Valentine's was pretty bad though, some unexplained tears here and there, but nevertheless, I managed to get through it. The final week was good. Feeling good about everything. Found out that he tried to contact my sister again on MSN (10 days after his previous attempt) but surprisingly, I find that it doesn't affect me much at all! People here are right. It gets easier over time and you DO heal and get stronger with NC. It definitely isn't easy at first, your first week will always be hard, but it gets easier over time. Keep your chins up! Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Day 2. Grrr, wish it was longer than that. Shame I gave in, but on the other hand,I feel I have some sort of closure. He didn't even have the decency to reply to me, and be nice in the slightest. So that says a lot to me. I guess we all reach a certain "boiling point" Here's to many more days of NC. Link to comment
Crows Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Day 2 of official NC.. meaning blocking her etc. I feel actually pretty good. It hit me hard yesterday. But today I feel almost liberated. Plus I have a few female prospects on the go. Date on wednesday night. Link to comment
lady00 Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 About a week. A bit sad today and Valentine's day I had some sad moments, but overall...doing well and not regretting my decision to do NC. Link to comment
deleted-account Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 LilBear... Congrats! Keep it going strong! Link to comment
wyrllish Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Wow, ok well today was going to be day 2 but I accidentally sent the ex a text. Was texting a friend about her and meant to forward a text the ex sent me a month ago today. "martin and I are over I think" I added-"Oh how times have changed", to the end of the text. I didn't find out I sent it to the ex and NOT my friend till the ex texted me back, "What are you talking about?" Oh man huge mistake lmao. Tried to play it off and just said I was teasing/messing around with her and asked her what's up. I doubt the ex even bothered thinking about me texting her about her 'hangout guy' though by what else was going on. Basically ex's kid has never met her real father and the ex hasn't seen him in roughly 4 years since they saw each other. Ex knows I'm the only dad her daughter has ever known, been in her life since she was 6 months old(3 years 2 months now). Anyway, she texts me back that someone gave the bio. father her # and he is getting married, his wife is pregnant and he wants to see his daughter now. there's my lil ramble of my broken NC day. Accidental text turns into all this. Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Are you sure that was purely accidental Link to comment
Irish Jax Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Well I have reached Day 2. Doesnt really seem like all that much. It amazes me the different thoughts that go through your head when you start NC. In my case, he flew down to see me over the weekend because we had a lot of things to sort out. The first day, he was somewhat hostile and defensive, but I was able to assure him that I agreed we needed to break it off for now because of the the stress and our unfortunate situation. The day he left, he told he me he was going home with the highest regard for me and was impressed with how strong I was. He held my hand as we approached the airport and told me that when he comes to visit again, he wants to see me. He just reiterated we needed some time to heal from the stress and loss. Our situation was that we started long distance about 6 months ago. After I had visited him once, I found out I was pg and I was completely devastated. I didnt know what to do and did not tell him for a while. When I finally told him, we were already having some issues because this streses was killing me and taking effect on him. I told him I would terminate to get his pressure off of me and so that I could make a clear decision. Finally, he discovered I had not yet done it and that my health was at risk if I continued the pregnancy. He flew down two days after the procedure and thats what I was discussing above. There was alot of anger and questioning. He did not believe that I would be able to let him go. He kept reiterating that he needed some time and space and that every time I would call him the last few weeks, he feared hearing bad news. But the fact is, I love him enough to let him go and told him that before he left. When he came to visit me to support what I had gone through, it was actually me supporting him because he had not been here to experience it. We had not seen each other in four months and everything had been done on the phone. I was happy he was able to leave by telling me that when he comes back down (his brother lives here) he will call me and want to see me again. I knew he still cared for me deeply. NC will benefit both of us. It will help me heal and become stronger and also help him realize I can keep my promise, that I let him go because I love him. He is still expecting me to call to either give more bad news or to beg for him back. Not going to happen. Thanks for listening!!! Link to comment
nic2463 Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 ex called today after a month of n/c regarding some pets.She was quiet sharp.Ended up feeling crap afterwards and wished she hadnt called. Link to comment
l_lollipop Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Done Day 1 AGAIN!! He called me last night. It's hard not answering the phone. We were meant to meet for a drink soon, then he said he didn't want to talk about us, then he changed the date to a few weeks time. I'm just being mucked around too much. In the past week I've had 2 dates, I've got another one on Thurs and one on Sat... there's men out there pratically queing up to take me out, I'm annoyed I'm letting one man mess me aound so much. I hate being so weak towards him. Oh well, day one done. Lots to look forward to the next few days. Lilbear - Well done hun... you've done amazing. I want to be the next Lilbear!! Link to comment
bostoneric Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 well its been 3 weeks since I emailed the ex my new address to get the rest of my stuff I left behind shipped to me. I should follow up with her, but just thinking about it puts me in a funk.. hard to believe that living with somebody 3 years and making plans for a family and yet we havent talked more then 2 times since i left over 2 months ago.. everyday is hard, its been over 2 months and still there isnt 30mins that goes bye that I dont think of her. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 well i decided today is as good a day as any to follow up on my stuff.. "I just wanted to follow up and see if there is any progress on shipping my stuff? are you having any difficulties that I can help with? I hope you are doing well. take care and be safe. always Eric " opinions? Link to comment
Jadewhisper Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Your message ,Eric, sounds fine to me. It doesn't sound cold. It gets to the point and is respectful. Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Completed 30 days of NC Decided to stick to this board for another 30. Haha Be strong for yourselves guys. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Your message ,Eric, sounds fine to me. It doesn't sound cold. It gets to the point and is respectful. well email back... (basic breakdown of the email) blah blah blah i cant currently afford to send you your stuff because I'm having to pay for rent/bills/etc myself now... well i'm lost for words now.... not sure what i can do from where i am located now to get my stuff. and i'm not mentally secure yet to fly there and take care of it myself. ](*,)](*,) Link to comment
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