Uncomfortable being naked...Solutions?

[BlueBaron]

Well, so far on this forum I did a little research and it seems that there are many women out there who feel like they can't be comfortable naked with their mate.

 

Now, I couldn't catch this from the original posts but I wasn't sure how most of these women felt when naked by themselves. My girlfriend doesn't like being naked, period. Doesn't matter where or who with, but she's very uncomfortable with it.(even after getting out of the shower or changing in her bedroom)

 

So, she's very open to me making suggestions to help her get through this. I was hoping I could hear a couple of suggestions from the peoples here! My suggestion to her was: after her shower, instead of putting clothes on right away, just get ready naked. I also told her to just take her time getting ready too so that she'd be naked longer. I figured that would be a good first step in trying to get comfortable.

Any suggestions?

[agent1607307371]

I think the first thing she has to do is work out why she feels this way, maybe her body doesn't look the way she wants it to or she was brought up to regard the naked body as wrong or dirty and then work on changing her attitude to her body. When you love your body and are able to recognise it for the amazing machine it is, you become much more relaxed about your nudity.

[MacGyverRI]

take a shower with her, wash ea other and dry ea. other off together.

[Baby Carrot]

My suggestion to her was: after her shower, instead of putting clothes on right away, just get ready naked. I also told her to just take her time getting ready too so that she'd be naked longer. I figured that would be a good first step in trying to get comfortable.

´

 

Is this some kind of "catartic" style solution?

 

Like, if you´re affraid of heights, go bungee jumping?

 

I´m just like your girlfriend, I don´t like being naked and period. And years ago, I liked it even less then now.

 

I truly believe it has to do much more with self steem conflicts. And not only about "not loving" yourself enough, but also about hatred towards your own image.

 

I just don´t think doing the oppsite of what you´re not comfortable with is gonna help with something. That only gets you extra uncomfortable it leads to a lousy time, and you´re not overcoming the real issue.

 

The "issue" is deep inside. Is about truly loving and respecting yourself, even with all your defects and ugliness, and knowing you´re more than the combination of your body parts.

[BlueBaron]

Well, there's some good feedback here. I think Carrot's on the right track, but the problem still remains that as far as I know I can't help her with working out her feelings. I'm trying to be her catalyst for change here but I'm having trouble because honestly I have no idea what to do. Trying to help resolve the deep down feelings is tricky

 

I was hoping by doing my earilier suggestion she'd get used to the idea and it'd eventually, slowly but surely get better. So I guess I'm even more at loss. Btw, sending her to a psychatrist isn't an option. Thats not something she'd be willing to do. (In case anyone was thinking about that)

[whyisthatlegal]

I would just tell her to stand in front of a mirror haked and by herself and pick out the really good things she finds about her body. Then tell her to concentrate on those things while naked in front of you.

[keenan]

My girlfriend doesn't like being naked, period. Doesn't matter where or who with, but she's very uncomfortable with it.(even after getting out of the shower or changing in her bedroom)

 

So, she's very open to me making suggestions to help her get through this.

 

Hmmm. It's cool that she's open to your suggestions about changing her behavior to make you happier...;-)...but maybe the first step toward truly making her more comfortable is for you to just accept that she doesn't much like being naked?

 

My point is, it sounds like it's more your issue than hers. After all, if she lived alone it wouldn't be a problem.

[MacGyverRI]

until you are comfortable w/ your own body you really can't be comfortable w/ someone else. your attitude also changes for the better when you accept you look ok.

[keenan]

until you are comfortable w/ your own body you really can't be comfortable w/ someone else. your attitude also changes for the better when you accept you look ok.

 

or...you can accept that you look okay once your attitude changes for the better.

 

i was trying to say that comfort with oneself comes from the inside, is largely self-driven, and is a product of much more than assurance (no matter how sweet and well-intentioned) that you look great naked. ironically, a symptom of being comfortable with yourself is being able to tell somebody that you just don't enjoy doing something that they would like you to enjoy doing (i.e., being naked).

 

it's hard to tell whether the issue itself stems from modesty (there's surely a range of normal behavior here) or a real dislike of her own body. now...if she thinks that it's a problem, independent of what her guy thinks, then i hope that she either makes an effort to figure out what it's about, or she comes to terms with it. either way, it's her call.

 

i'm not criticizing the OP at all. just trying to point out that there's another way to think about it.

[MacGyverRI]

most women unless they live in a gym, tend to be uncomfortable when naked, positive reinforcement works wonders.,

[Day_Walker]

She needs to face fear. She needs to be in front of a mirror naked and she needs to accept the way she looks and stop beleving that she has to be perfect.

[joiseygrl]

I used to be the same way. It took some mental work, but some physical stuff as well. After a shower, I light some candles. (Everyone looks better in candlelight!) At first I would cover the mirrors so I could concentrate on the feel of my naked skin. After a while I added the mirrors. I never "looked" at myself in the mirror, but I wouldn't avoid it if I walked past it. Also, doing every day things naked helped. Talking on the phone, checking my email, watching TV...

 

It may not work for everyone, but it worked for me.

[applepie]

This post has kind of touched home for me. I used to be very confident about my body. I was fine with walking around nude or in a bikini. It's only been the past year or 2 that I've had a problem with it and I can attribute much of this to the guys I have been with.

 

I've had 2 different guys comment on my stretch marks. The most recent one was the first time he had seen me naked in daylight. He looked at my boobs and screamed "WHAT IS THAT!!!???" It was really hurtful.

 

Another time was with my ex. I was sitting in the car with a bikini on (we were driving) and I asked him if he could go and get me something to eat. He looked at me, shook his head at said "This is why you have this", as he grabbed a roll from my belly.

 

There have been various other incidents, but those 2 stood out more than the others. I have also had lots of positive things said about my body, but when someone else is disgusted by your most hated features, it just burns. I'm insulin resistant and I carry most of my weight on my abdomen, so weight loss in that area is impossible for me. The stretch marks are never going to go away either. God I hate them.

[BlueBaron]

Applepie, I'm very VERY sorry to hear that you had such awful experiences like that.

 

As far as I know, there's been nothing like that for my girlfriend's situation. (I've always only complimented her about her body) It very well may be that she isn't telling me something...but if she won't tell me about it then there's really nothing I can do right?

 

To everyone else, thanks for suggestions! Keep 'em coming to those who are reading and have something even slightly different. More information is better than less, which is why I made this post in the first place

[EvaGina]

Applepie... did you punch them? I would have given a toss like that a sock to the face and gotten out of the car... You poor thing

 

I love stretch marks, by the way... I think its hte "flaws" on us that make us human, make us sexy...

 

My ex had HUGE purple, raised stretch marks running down from his spone, he trued to not let me see them when we first started dating, but I loved them

 

Im not comfortable with my body... I find the worse I eat and the less I exercise, the more I hate myself... if I am eating well and exercising, then Im pretty happy with my body...

In the end you just have to ask yourself if you were in love with someone who had your body, would the body turn you off?

[J6hn]

My girlfriend and I got (Completely) naked together for the first time a few days ago, but we were still covered by a single light sheet, but that doesn't mean we couldn't see.

I felt nervous.

Guys get that too, not everyones comfortable with their naked self.

Just get used to eachothers bodies through touching, partial nudity, etc.

The more she feels comfortable with your body the more relaxed she'll get with herself in the presense of you, resulting in less conflict with her own body.

Just make sure she knows you think she's beautiful.

[Baby Carrot]

My girlfriend doesn't like being naked, period. Doesn't matter where or who with, but she's very uncomfortable with it.(even after getting out of the shower or changing in her bedroom)

 

So, she's very open to me making suggestions to help her get through this.

 

Ok ok ok ok ok...

 

Let me ask you something: did she specifically ask you to help her with this? Is this like a really serious issue that is affecting her life and threatening her hapiness and your relationship? Is this making her miserable and thereforeeee a change is required?

 

I was just thinking... well if she doesn´t like to be naked, why can´t you just let her be covered and period?

 

What´s so wrong about never being naked?

[now_better]

My suggestion to her was: after her shower, instead of putting clothes on right away, just get ready naked. I also told her to just take her time getting ready too so that she'd be naked longer. I figured that would be a good first step in trying to get comfortable.

 

i think this is a great recommendation. i tend to shave, brush my teeth, floss, take off my contacts, and basically get rdy for bed after i shower so i'll do all of this stuff, then put my clothes on. it's definitely made me feel more comfortable.

[BlueBaron]

First time she tried wearing my boxers and a loose shirt the other night and she thought the boxers felt weird, like going commando (which she never does to my knowledge). However she eventually got used to it and ended up just hanging out like normal without even thinking about it.

 

Hopefully this is a good sign of things to come!

[zerohalo]

Im not comfortable with my body... I find the worse I eat and the less I exercise, the more I hate myself... if I am eating well and exercising, then Im pretty happy with my body...

I know exactly what you mean. If I weight 215lbs on Monday, and I work out a few times during the week, I feel like a sexy beast on Friday. It's all mental, there's no way I could look any different in that short a timeframe.

 

I personally believe if your girlfriend really wants to get over this, facing the fear is the best way. But I'm a 'trial by fire' kind of guy, the best way to get over things is to just take the bull by the horns.

[pesh]

I was shy at first too. The way I overcame it was being naked, without my boyfriend actually seeing me... for instance under the covers or in the dark.

[quietgrl]

I have a funny idea about getting over being naked in front of people.How about putting on some glow in the dark paint all over your naked body.I would turn off the lights and let your bf/gf enjoy licking the paint off of your body and enjoying seeing your nude body for the first time.

 

****I hope they do have lickable glow in the dark paint.LOL

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Interesting.

 

Here's a story. Well, a parable, perhaps. A moral?

 

I've had eating disorders since I was 13 or so. We're talking REAL body hatred here.

 

But in a sexual situation, I have absolutely no reservations in shedding all my clothes. I'm that person who, the morning after, parades around the house absolutely stark naked, and draws the curtains without putting clothes on.

 

Yet the same day, alone, I can cry solidly, no exaggeration here, because I'm so fat.

 

The reason? I take the fact that someone wants to have sex with me as reason enough to temporarily at least overcome my selfhatred. I always hate my body, however I'm willing to believe that the main witness to it naked can't mind THAT much, as they want to sleep with me.

 

Strange, but its how it is in my case.

 

My boyfriend also takes great trouble to tell me how attractive he finds me on a daily basis, and this has strengthened my dropping-inhibitions behaviour.