DDRFreak Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Ok, so right now i'm in a long distance relationship with my g/f of seven months. (seven months today as a matter-of-fact) and last night she went out with her female friend for the night. well they ended up staying in some guys house... and my g/f ended up staying in his bed... She told me this morning, she told me that nothing happened. I just want to get it out and say that i believe her. She has been cheated on before and would never do the same thing to someone else. But what i need to know is how do i handle this? I'm in no way comfortable with it but i don't really know what to say... I just... maybe i just needed to talk about it... Link to comment
confused25 Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Well, was she in the bed alone? Or was he in the same bed? In my opinion, I don't think she did anything, because why else would she tell you? If she was feeling guilty about it then she probably wouldn't even have said anything, being that you guys are in a LDR and you probably won't even find out about it. You just need to ask yourself, do YOU trust her? Link to comment
arwen Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Hey D, I think that it's very difficult to just assume that she somehow ended up in someone else's bed. I'd wonder why she had to sleep IN this persons bed as well. It's good that she told you, but on the other hand, I'd want to know the complete story. It has happened to me only once, that I had to spend the night with someone unexpectedly (I was taking a course in another town and we all went for dinner and I had no train back after that). The guy gave me his bed and he slept on the couch. I was single, but I am sure that if I wasn't, I'd call the partner to tell them before spending the night there. Talk to her if you are bothered and if you feel you have questions about this. I think it's totally ok for you to have boundaries you feel comfortable with when you gf spends the night somewhere else. And I think very very few people would be ok if their partner would spend the night in someone elses bed (unless the other person is not a potential partner gender-wise). Edit: this was based on the impression I got that she spent the night in his bed, and he did too. If she just slept in his bed and he was on the couch, obviously that is a different story! I'd agree with confused25 in that case Ilse Ilse Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 well they ended up staying in some guys house... and my g/f ended up staying in his bed... I would tell her that you feel uncomfortable with your girlfriend sleeping in another man's bed. Set some ground rules, because that is unacceptable behavior for someone in a committed relationship to be doing. One other thing. Cheaters in relationships almost always say they won't cheat. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Personally I think her behavior is suspect, nothing might have happened but she did put herself into that situation which is already highly questionable. In the least your gf did not make a smart choice, I would discuss that with her but I would also realize that this could be the beginning of bigger issues to come. Link to comment
Rabican Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 Ok, so right now i'm in a long distance relationship with my g/f of seven months. (seven months today as a matter-of-fact) and last night she went out with her female friend for the night. well they ended up staying in some guys house... and my g/f ended up staying in his bed... She told me this morning, she told me that nothing happened. I just want to get it out and say that i believe her. She has been cheated on before and would never do the same thing to someone else. But what i need to know is how do i handle this? I'm in no way comfortable with it but i don't really know what to say... I just... maybe i just needed to talk about it... Personally thats breakup material for me. She should have enough respect for you to not put herself into a situation like this that has you on this board asking us for this kind of advice. Theres no reason to be sleeping in another mans bed unless hes not in it. Even then... Id be upset about her just being there for the night without you being informed first. Her telling you could just be the get out of trouble card, if she plays it now... itll blow over and no worries later. Plus, just because she has been cheated on, doesnt mean she wont. Link to comment
DDRFreak Posted December 29, 2006 Author Share Posted December 29, 2006 no worries guys.... we just broke up. it really was about some other things in the relationship more than the "cheating". That was just the kicker. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 So she cheated on you?? Link to comment
DDRFreak Posted December 30, 2006 Author Share Posted December 30, 2006 I didn't even talk about it. I know from two people that she kissed him and cuddled. It didn't go farther than that... But I broke it off for other reasons. Link to comment
Rabican Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 I didn't even talk about it. I know from two people that she kissed him and cuddled. It didn't go farther than that... But I broke it off for other reasons. Your better off, good luck to ya. Link to comment
DDRFreak Posted December 30, 2006 Author Share Posted December 30, 2006 Yeah... but i still can't get over it... Link to comment
yeawutever Posted December 31, 2006 Share Posted December 31, 2006 Then it's still cheating. Just can't believe that. She has been cheated before and knows what it felt like, yet she goes it to you, damn, guess she didn't learn her lesson. Don't look back, you deserve a better girl. Link to comment
DDRFreak Posted December 31, 2006 Author Share Posted December 31, 2006 The only thing i wonder is... both of the people who have told me she did it have reason to manipulate the relationship... You see one of them is my EX and her Best Friend. Her name is Meg. I dated Meg for about six months last year. After a long and painful breakup i started to date chelle... Meg was so upset when she found out... And my other witness is Meg's best friend. Link to comment
blindfold Posted January 1, 2007 Share Posted January 1, 2007 kissing and cuddling isn't enough? i'd say it is enough on its own... Link to comment
Vanilla Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 do you have any other witnesses other than your ex and her best friend?....I mean she could have slept on the floor, regardless....but it could still be a fit fishy that they said that to you... Link to comment
Misser Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 I think that is was wrong of her to sleep in his bed, but she may not have even done it., She may have said this as a subconscious way of getting back at you for something. I guess you have to ask yourself what you've been doing. Link to comment
DDRFreak Posted January 6, 2007 Author Share Posted January 6, 2007 Well I know with the long distance thing, she has a tendency to think that i've been cheating on her. But i haven't. In fact, everything i do is to just try and see her... She was the world to me. Link to comment
sonjam Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Ok, but you said you broke of the relationship due to other reasons, not the possibility of cheating, so the fact that Meg and her friend had stories to tell was really not the big reason for the breakup. I'm sorry your heart is broken. It is always hard to be in a LDR, especially when there is not complete trust between the two partners. Link to comment
DDRFreak Posted January 10, 2007 Author Share Posted January 10, 2007 'S ok, i'm moving on now. From everything Link to comment
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