when do true love's come back??

[dreamingwithabrokenheart]

Hi all, joined this site a couple weeks ago and love it. well my gf of six years broke up with me a little over a month ago, and i've been NC for one month - thanks to enotalone. we started dating as seniors in high school, we're both 23. she actually left me for another guy, although she told me that she needed space to find herself, etc.

 

i have to say NC has definitely helped, i've met new girls and its helping me heal along with counseling. but you know the saying, "if you love someone set them free, if they come back it was meant to be...", how does that work?

 

what if she comes back and i'm with a new person. do i leave them? not sure if i'd take her back (90% wants to, 10% doesn't) b/c of the way she treated me before the breakup, but i still long for her....

 

if someone is in a new relationship, how long does it take before the butterflies in your stomach pass?

 

i truly felt that she was my one and only, i even bought an engagement ring which i was going to propose around the holiday time thanks for listening.

[Day_Walker]

It is best that you realize this now, true love is not something does not and has never implied that there will be just one person. We love different people in different parts of our lives. We can only say that a love was true when we look at it in hindsight because in that instance we have 20/20 vision.

If the girl left you for another guy then take note of that and realized that she choose another guy over you. By taking her back later on down the line is just telling her that your feelings are so strong for her that it doesnt matter what she does because you will always take her back. Learn a lesson from this and move on, dont treasure the past and think that things will work out differently.

[m_darko]

"if you love someone set them free, if they come back it was meant to be...", how does that work?

 

This question will never be answered. As for the "what if's"...I suggest you stop that nonsense. Love isn't always meant to be plesant.

 

The honeymooner stage is what I believe you are referring to. It depends really. I'd give it anywhere from 3-6months, maybe more.

 

Was this your first girlfriend? If so, you're on your way to a good time. No one can tell you what to do or how and be correct. It's all up to you and the voices in your head.

[byates5637]

I didn't read the story, i'm just replying based on the title.

 

My love came back about 8 months after she left me. I did 5 months of NC before I let her back into my life. Now she wants more attention from me then i can offer. It is crazy, like the situation reversed itself all of a sudden.

 

Good luck to you, but don't count on your ex coming back because they ussually don't.

[Dako]

Hoping they come back is just proof you haven't let go.

Do yourself a huge favor and let go of that fantasy.

[laboheme]

what if she comes back and i'm with a new person. do i leave them? not sure if i'd take her back (90% wants to, 10% doesn't) b/c of the way she treated me before the breakup, but i still long for her....

 

Your feelings will change with time...And a good indication of whether or not you're ready to have a serious relationship with someone else is when you no longer wonder if you'll take the ex back if she does come back. Starting a relationship knowing that you'll come running if she beckons is unfair both to you and your potential new interest.

 

Keep up what you're doing with NC and try not to think about the new guy...Hoping that things don't work out and she realizes what she missed will make moving on much more difficult.

[dreamingwithabrokenheart]

Thanks for the responses. I just needed to ask. Most of the time I've been doing well but throughout the day I get little flashback memories of the two of us together... i'm staying strong

[selfi]

Hoping they come back is just proof you haven't let go.

Do yourself a huge favor and let go of that fantasy.

 

Letting go of that fantasy will make me a bitter woman

[Mr. October]

I think that is the age that most women are trying to find out what else is out there. She's been with you for six years and after six years she grown apart with you. "If you love someone set them free, if they come back it was meant to be." doesn't work if she left you for another guy and how bad she treated you. The excuse of trying to find herself is just b.s. You're still in the early stage. I tell you everything will get better in time. The feelings that you have for her will fade away if you continue N.C. I know what you're going through I've been there and the one that really helps me a lot is my family. They were by my side during that time of my life. It helps me 'coz whenever I feel like talking they were there to listen and give me advice hopefully you got the same thing going with your family or friends.

[blueberrypie]

I hear you there. I asked that same question thousands times. I have that phrase "if you want something..." in my quotes. I simply couldn't let go of the thought of him coming back togehter.

And suddenly it occurred to me that I shouldn't "worry" about that possibility. If I'm still in love with ex and want to get back together with him even though I'm with another person, I can choose that when it actually happens. If I truly moved on and don't want to get back together with him, I choose so. So really, nothing to worry about.

If you have someone else in your mind now, go for it. Don't worry about the chance that your ex might come back when you just begin to fall in love with your new gf.