who pays? (continued...)

[btbt]

So if I have a date to go to a show and the fellow also asks me for dinner beforehand, who pays for dinner (he's already paid for the tickets)? Do I offer to pay my share of the tickets?

[rose2summer]

I would offer to pay my share of both, since he has no obligation to pay for you. He will respect you more if you do.

 

If he then declines your offer, that's very kind and generous of him, especially since he asked you out.

 

Hugs, Rose

[Weeblie]

I agree with Rose. Always offer to pay for your share. My guy friend says it's always nice when a girl doesn't expect him to pay for her. He'll still pay, but it impresses him when a girl shows a little consideration like that.

[paulm]

I agree it is considerate, but offer to pay only once, and don't try to argue about it. Nothing annoys me more when I decide to pay, the girl offers, I decline, then she goes on the "no I insist, blah blah." Don't argue, if someone pays for your food, etc all you owe them is a 'thank you.'

 

Offer once, if refused then say thanks and move on.

 

Random addition: if you must pay for something, get the cab. It's private, inconspicuous, and strikes me as classy for some reason...

[Batya33]

I would offer to pay for dinner but not the tickets because then it's more of a business transaction - you handing him money.

[LostInMyThoughts]

Some really good advice.

 

Like the others, offer to pay for both, then if he insists on paying, let him.

 

If you feel like you owe him something, maybe you can pay for drinks, or as paulm suggested, picking up the cab fair.

[Jonboy582]

I agree with what everyone says. My girlfriend forces me to let her pay, for example at the cinema for me to pay I physically have to push her out the way when she goes to buy her ticket and buy two. And even then she buys the food. But hey Im not complaining But I agree I really like it when a girl offers to pay.

[arrrrffff]

Agreed, paulm.

 

When someone insists on paying or giving you something, it is kind of rude to decline their offer. Just let him pay. You only have to offer once, unlike a chinese dinner gathering where you have the whole table fighting over the bill, lol.

[Blue Skittles]

This is a great topic - good advice. Just offer once. But what do you do if the guy NEVER lets you pay?? And you've gone on a couple dates and he always insists on paying for them. Do you keep offering? Do you just accept it? Why do they do this to us? Shouldn't both parties be contributing after the first date?

[Batya33]

This is a great topic - good advice. Just offer once. But what do you do if the guy NEVER lets you pay?? And you've gone on a couple dates and he always insists on paying for them. Do you keep offering? Do you just accept it? Why do they do this to us? Shouldn't both parties be contributing after the first date?

 

I am with a guy like that for over a year. Here is what I do and this keeps it at about 60/40 these days (he pays 60% of the time) - used to be more like 70/30. I buy movie and other tickets in advance and refuse to take his money, I get the check while he's away from the table and pay it before he can reach for it, I buy him gifts that he wants, pay for his favorite groceries (things I don't eat/drink that he likes), I give him cash to pay him back for expensive items like a vacation we took (because if I give him a check he refuses to deposit it), and I make sure in general that we are not going to expensive places with any frequency. Or, I'll suggest I prepare a meal or order out and when the delivery person comes I am the first one at the door.

 

If I get to the check first, he sometimes will fight me on it especially if he planned the evening or if it is an expensive meal. Sometimes I let him but only if it is clear that I am getting the next one.

 

I do let him pay most of the time when we are out with friends because he would feel weird having me pay in front of our friends. But, then I get the next one or next "ones" depending on how many times that happened.

 

I think it is fine if the guy pays for the first few dates- I start offering to pay usually at the first date but always by the second date and after that.

[DMXtreme]

went out last night, had a great time but when the bill came she started to take her purse out but I told her I got it covered, she just looked at me and said nothing. Kind of weird.

 

 

Then again I was a bit tipsy

[Massari]

.

 

If he then declines your offer, that's very kind and generous of him, especially since he asked you out.

 

This is what I do always on dates. I ask the girl I take full responsibility.