Is it possible my bf cant get me pregnant? :/

[oh yeah]

Um... well where do i start. i know im young and dont really want a kid and am not posting this to get advice on how im to young to have a baby etc. but anyway. i was on the pill for about 9 months and i have stopped taking it for like the past 2 months. my bf cums in me (no condum) at least two or three times a WEEK and i havent gotten pregnant. is it possible that maybe he can't get me pregnant or something? Does this mean i wont have kids in the future if im not getting pregnant now, under those circumstances or could it jsut be because i recently stopped taking the pills?

[AwdreeHpburn]

ummm....Oh Yeah - Having nothing to do with your age, if you do not wish to get pregnant, I adivse you to STOP your current practice immediately.

 

If you are NOT pregnant presently, you are only tempting fate by continuing to have unprotected sex and it is but a matter of time before the inevitable happens.

 

You can abolutely get pregnant that way. It is only by sheer, dumb luck. that you have not already.

[Blue Skittles]

I don't understand. You dont' want to get pregnant, but at the same time you are trying to get pregnant??? You need to be a lot safer, pregnancy can happen at ANY time. Some couples try for a long time before becoming pregnant, while some have one "slip up" and the unexpected pregnancy occurs. Don't mess around with it. Next thing you know you will be posting a month later thinking you are pregnant and wondering how you are going to deal with it. Worry about these complications when you actually WANT to have a baby. And make sure you have protection or birth control pills because like i said before, you just never know. I have friends that are married but weren't ready to start having kids, always used protection, had one "slip up" and now they are expecting a baby, moving into a house, and in a lot of debt because of this situation. Is this what you want to happen?

[Hope75]

Hi There,

 

I'm a bit confused.

 

You say that you are young and do not want to get pregnant, and yet you are having unprotected sex and not using the pills.

 

Why?

 

What made you get off the pill?

 

Are you in a position, if you did get pregnant, to be able to support a child?

[cc2006]

I'll spare you to "you're playing russian roulette with your future" argument.

 

 

Medically either one of you could have a condition that is making it difficult to become pregnant ... or you're just insanely lucky.

 

If you really want to know for a fact, I'd suggest you speak to your doctor. You can both be tested for fertility if you wanted. Not sure what that could cost, though.

[annie24]

I think you will eventually get pregant if you keep doing what you're doing.

 

Most women don't get pregnant right away when they get off of birth control. I know many women that got off the pill, then 3,4,5, or 6 months later, finally got pregnant. It does take a few months for your body to go back to normal.

 

So, I think it is unlikely that your boyfriend is sterile. i think it's more likely that your body is getting readjusted and will be able to get pregnant very shortly.

 

Stop having unprotected sex unless you want a baby.

[Juliana]

The average time to conceive a child for young healthy adults is four months. The younger you are, the easier you conceive; the older you are, the longer it takes (getting up to two years later in life).

 

Make sure he knows you're off the pill. And if you don't want to bear a child right now, try another form of birth control.

[itsallgrand]

No. The fact that you haven't gotten pregnant yet doesn't mean your bf is infertile. He'd have to go to a doctor to figure that out: and there is no reason to believe that right now.

 

As an aside: If you do indeed get pregnant, which is very likely if you continue what you are doing, the resulting situation could possibly create complications for future pregnancies. Maybe not physical: but definetly emotional and pyschological.

 

Take care of yourself.

[oh yeah]

i guess i have some explaining to do.

 

i dunno how to explain how i feel. sometimes i wanna get pregnant because i think that will make my bf stay with me. other times i realize im an idiot and how that would so mess up my life. i so torn. i know having a baby right now is the wrong thing for sure i just hate those stupid pills... they make me naucious and like i said, sometimes i just feel like if i get pregnant my bf will stay with me

[southerngirl]

A baby will not make him stay with you. If your relationship is already having problems, then it is not a good idea to have a baby. Does he know you stopped taking your pills?

[oh yeah]

no because he would get really mad at me... and i figured if i did get pregnant i would just lie and say i had been taking my pills and that he should know that they are not 100% effective. i just want him with me *sigh*

[southerngirl]

Well if you stopped taking your pills and he doesnt know that, thats very dishonest. Even if you lied and did not tell him the truth, you would have to live with a cold dark secret and when he did find out the truth he may never forgive you.

 

How old are you? How old is he? How long have you two been a couple?

 

Im just trying to get some background info about it.

[oh yeah]

we are both only 17 and only been together a little over a year...

 

there have been times where i try to tell him i stopped taking the pills but then he freaks out and so i just say i was kidding

[southerngirl]

Having just read your other thread I have to say that girl, you deserve so much more than this guy! Getting pregnant right now and by him could be your very worst nightmare.

[Hope75]

Hi There Oh Yeah,

 

I was really sad to read your most recent posts.

 

First off, let me tell that you that getting pregnant is not going to make him stay with you. I don't know alot about how your relationship is at present, but southerngirl aluded to the idea that things might not be so good now, and the fact that you are lying and attempting to trap your bf into a relationship by getting pregnant, shows me that there is not alot of respect or consideration here.

 

Often times if a relationship is in trouble to begin with, a pregnancy will just escalate things and you will find yourself alone and pregnant. This is what happened to my best friend. She, at a little older than you, was at a similar train of thought... that a pregnancy would 'fix' things between them. It didn't, he left, and she has been a single parent for the last 11 years. Her son's father recently died of cancer and so her son never met him and will never know him.

 

I know it is a common misconception, especially at a young age, that getting pregnant is going to make everything better, you will be together forever, a cute little family. Sadly, much of the time, especially at your ages when everything is working against you, and when things aren't going well as it is, that is not likely to be true.

 

Think, for a minute, what life will be like alone, 17, and pregnant. That is a very real possibility for you right now. Think about giving up your life to a child you admit you aren't ready to have, think about the resentment your bf will have, even more so if he finds out that you are lying to him and setting him up (...Honey you know how wrong that it- so unfair to him AND to the poor baby you may create in this mess...) Having a baby at any age is difficult and tests even the strongest of relationships. Imagine the stress it will put you under- and not to mention that you are likely not finished with high school yet, not living on your own, not separated from your parents... which will just add to the situation and make it even worse.

 

It would not be just you and your bf anymore. If he stuck around, both your lives would be taken over by this child, and any semblance of "fun" and "carefree youth" that you may have had together will be gone. It will be, "Who will get up this 10th time tonight to soothe the baby?" and, "How will we afford to feed/clothe her?" It is a tremendous amount of work and sacrafice, and if you are left alone, it will all fall on you. If you are not, trust me when I say it is not going to make your relationship happier, more stable, or better.

 

Now, think about what you are doing to your bf. You are lying to him, trapping him, and completely betraying his trust. Do you think this will somehow help your relationship? You've told him before (and then taken it back when you heard how furious he was) that you were getting off the pill.... it isn't going to take much for him to put two and two together if you do get pregnant, and my guess is he will be so angry, hurt, upset and betrayed that he will leave. And there you will be... alone... in a situation you completely set yourself up for. Do you think it is fair to force fatherhood on someone you claim to love, when he has told you on no uncertain terms (by his reaction when you "joked" about going off the pill), that he is not ready to be a father? How will that reflect to your child- that he did not want? That you really did not want, either, but used as a bargaining tool to try and save a failing relationship?

 

If your pills make you nauseas, you need to talk with your doctor about trying another kind to see if it helps. And you need to come clean with your bf and start using condoms until you have been on the pill again for a month.

 

Please, I hope you will reconsider this. Before it is too late, and you can't go back.

[Hope75]

Oh Girl,

 

I just read your other thread:

 

 

 

about how he makes you cry because "he only feels you love him when you cry" and he has made you give up your friends and picks fights and calls you names constantly...forces you to adhere to a "dress code"....

 

And I have also been following your thread about how your bf picks fights with you and accuses you of lying to him about being a virgin because you did not bleed the first time you had sex...

 

 

This is NOT a good guy for you- and you got alot of good advice on your other thread about what to do.

 

I really, really hope you will think twice about continuing to try and trap him into a pregnancy, and, if you are going to stay with him (which I do not recommend as someone who treats you this way is NOT showing love nor respect), to please get back on the pill or use condoms.

 

You are 17 years old- you are so young and so pretty (in your avatar!) and there is NO WAY that you deserve that sort of treatment. That is NOT love- this guy is only interested in controlling you.

[rocio]

Hey girl,

 

I know it would be nice to have something to ensure your boyfriend will stay with you forever, but even getting pregnant won't do that.

 

This is a selfish and unfair reason to get pregnant. You are being unkind to your boyfriend and to the child (if one was conceived). You don't have the best interests of your man or the baby in mind. You only have your interests in mind. I'm sure that you are a sweet person, and not selfish. So don't let your emotions make you do things that aren't consistent with your true, beautiful and loving self, okay?

[annie24]

yeah, "accidentally" getting pregnant to try to keep a man is the oldest trick in the book. Maybe it worked "back in the day", but certainly not anymore. there is no social stigma of an unmarried mom. I think that may have worked to keep a relationship a lon time ago, but certainly not today.

 

I am very afraid for you! You are sooooo young and pretty, and your boyfriend sounds like a jerk. Let me tell you, there are a lot of good men out there. Men who will love you and treat you like a precious flower, not call you names or accuse you of lying.

 

If you have a baby with this man, many things will happen. First, he will be PISSED! He may get very angry or violent that you lied to him about birth control, and he may even take out his emotions on the baby. Just because he is the father doesn't mean he will BE a father.

 

I really really think you should stop sleeping with him, and consider breaking off the relationship. Really, there are a lot of men out there who would love you and treat you like a princess. You don't deserve to be kicked around.

[Meow18]

Oh yeah, I'm worried about your relationship. This is NOT a healthy relationship and adding a baby to it will only make things worse for you and it will for sure hurt an innocent baby.

 

He's not going to stay with you if you get pregnant. He doesn't respect you enough now to even care about your baby.

 

Honestly, you probably don't want to hear it, but you are not in a good relationship. If you ever feel like you need to "trap" your partner, then that's not a good sign at all.

 

Can I ask why you want to be with him so much when he can make you feel so bad?

[oh yeah]

 

Can I ask why you want to be with him so much when he can make you feel so bad?

 

Well, now that hes made me give up all my friends, i am not very close to my family at all... i feel like he's all i have. i love him, and there are some times when he makes me happy and i guess i hold onto those times and try to forget all the other times he upsets me in hope he'll change even though my logic tells me he wont... my heart just wont let me believe that hes not good for me.. i love him so much

[BornToResist]

Aw sweety.

 

Pregnancy is SO HARD. It puts strain on the strongest couples.

 

You mentioned how you feel he's all you have...BAD IDEA to get pregnant. How's it going to feel when he tells you that he doubts the baby is his? What if he leaves? You're going to feel more alone than you ever even thought possible.

 

Babies are great...they really are. But wait until you're ready. Really ready. Wait until you have a wonderful guy who wants to have one with you.

 

Don't think you aren't able to have kids. Just because you haven't got pregnant does not mean it's not possible. There are so many TINY factors that might not be in line at the moment, and I would consider you lucky at this point.

 

I know what you're feeling though...when I was younger I had a couple friends who got pregnant, and I swear I had more sex than them and never once had a real scare. But NOW I'm pregnant (still not exactly what I'd consider 'ready') but I feel so fortunate that I never got pregnant when I was younger and in that mind frame.

 

I suggest you go to the gyno and get on birth control, and have a pap smear (if you're due) and they'll tell you if there's anything funky going on that needs attention (abnormal tests, etc) and if not, you're probably perfect pregnancy material.

 

But wait, honey. You deserve to have a wonderful guy in your life (sometimes it takes a few frogs, you are young) who wants nothing more than to put a ring on your finger and make you the mother of his children.

[justpaisley]

Everything that BornToResist said is so, so true. Pregnancy tends to bring out the worst in bad relationships, and the best in good relationships. Even in good relationships, it can bring out the worst in the parents. My husband and I have a very strong marriage, and since our son was born 6 months ago, we've been snippy at each other more times than I can count. It's resolved immediately because we have a good relationship, but it's still a bit of a strain.

 

Pregnancy and infancy are VERY hard times, and you deserve to experience them with someone you're not trying to trap. You've said that he doesn't even trust that he's the only person you've had sex with - what if he denies your baby? You won't get any financial help from him while you're pregnant (and pregnancy and delivery are EXPENSIVE), and you'll have to pay for a pregnancy test. Pregnancy rarely, if ever, keeps people together anymore. Especially unintended pregnancies that one of the parents doesn't want.

 

You really, really deserve someone better. I'm not just saying that. I'm sure your friends will have you back, sweetheart. I'm sure they know what your boyfriend really is like, and that he's the reason you've strayed from them.

 

I think it's really important that you tell your parents about your boyfriend isolating you from their friends. That is one of the most common predictors of future physical abuse, and I hope that'd set off a red flag for your parents.

 

This is not the man you want to have a baby with. You want a man who loves you, trusts you, doesn't make you sad, and wants to have a baby with you.

[Hope75]

Oh yeah,

 

Everyone here has given you some really good advice, and, understandably, it's probably pretty hard to swallow.

 

I'm hoping that some of it is sinking in... and you are doing some serious thinking.

 

Are you?

[Juliana]

Honey, look at this. Look at it:

 

1. You are trying to get pregnant against your boyfriend's will to force him to stay with you.

2. You have blown off your family and friends for him.

3. You do not feel that he loves you.

 

Is this the person you want to be? Is this person ready to raise a child?

 

Love can be so much more than this. This is all sort of the opposite of love. Just look at what you are doing. Don't you want to be more than this? Because this is terrible, and it's going to bring you to a terrible place if you don't recognize what's happening, and change.

 

Go on a different perscription, for starters, and then take a long look at your life.