should i break up with him?

[awesomepersoninthehouse]

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 months already and so far, he's done nothing that I should be upset about. Anyway, I cant help but feeling like Im really disappointed at this relationship. I dont know probably because I've had 2 great relationship in the past and I cant settle for something not as good. You know what I mean? I have expectations to how and what a boyfriend should do. Am I being selfish? Sometimes when we're out together, I feel so frustrated because I dont feel like we're compatible and it's like I always have doubt about us being together.

 

I really want to work things out, but he doesnt seem to see or notice we're having some sort of issue. Which I somehow agree because its mainly in my head. I really like him, he's different from all the other guys I ever went out with and he's the first person that I feel like I can be friends and lover with. But sometimes I feel as though he's not actually doing anything, as in physically doing something for me..Am i being demanding? and oh yeah, he doesnt even remember it's our two month anniversary. He didnt even do anything for our one month. We were hanging out with this other couple last night, and they've been out for almost 1 1/2 year. So they were going on about memories and how they first started going out and what date they made it official. I asked him whether he remembered (we were friends for almost a year) and he said he cant really remember what date it was, but it was a saturday. WRONG! It was a Thursday! September the 21st. and last night was our 2 month anniversary! BUT HE DIDNT REMEMBER! So I got really upset, and was quiet the entire night. When I got home, I ran back up and got his presents that I bought, but he still dont know what they were for.

 

I hate to feel this way, but I feel like just breaking up with him because he dont meet my needs. But thats selfish needs? He's always there for me when I needed or want him the most. I dont know what to do. Should I just let it be and pretend that I'm happy about everything? Or do you think I should take sometime off to think whether I want to continue being with him....?

Thanks in advance for all your help. I reached dead end and I hope you guys would be able to talk some sense into me.

[ImThatGirl]

Hey There~~~~

 

May I ask how old you are? I strongly believe we shouldn't settle for less than we expect. But, I can't imagine holding my bf to knowing specific dates and buying me gifts for monthly anniversaries.

[nadine_3110]

My bf knows the date of our anniversary, but doesn't really say 'Happy Anniversary' or anything. We don't buy each other gifts, we just kinda mention in passing how many months it's been. I think that you are expecting a great deal out of him. But if you truly are unhappy in this relationship and you don't see it going anywhere, then sure, break it off. But don't set the bar so high for him, don't compare him to your other bfs, it's not fair, he's a different person, it's a different time.

Good luck!

[DN]

I have been married for 31 years and neither of us can remember the exact date of when we met nor did we ever mark it, even before we were married. In the light of all that has happened since we first met the actual date of it is incredibly trivial.

[dawn515]

Hm, same here... The only monthly anniversary we celebrated was our six month. We went out for dinner, no presents. We usually go by our first date (celebrating the length of the relationship) rather than when we made it "official" because, yeah, neither of us remembers what day that was, and I remember our first date because it was the day before St. Patrick's Day.

 

It sounds, though, like there might be other things about him that bother you. Is it a compatibility issue? Does he make you happy in other ways? That's more important, I think, than if he remembers those dates.

[cypress]

My guess is that you are young, not to down play your emotions. Most couples do not have monthly anniverseries. Typically men tend to not be big on date remembering and so-forth anyway.

 

There is so much more to a relationship than flowers and giving a necklace on a particular day. If this is the first man you can be friends with as well as intimate I'm sure you are feeling a bit odd.

 

I would say that you are being very demanding and a little crazy about this remembering the day you met and your first date. However, if that is what is important to you then you need to be with someone who also finds that important.

 

Now, if things just aren't clicking you don't really need a reason. If you feel this way after 2 months of dating I would say that it just isn't what it needs to be and move on. It really doesn't have to be anyone's fault. Did you move a little fast into this? After 2 months things should be wonderful.

 

Good luck.

[Meow18]

I wouldn't worry about the anniversary. I would say it's better to celebrate yearly..

 

I would say though that if you are having these strong doubts, and only after 2 months, then maybe it would be better to break things off? If someone just isn't exactly what you want then there's no point in wasting time.

[awesomepersoninthehouse]

Hm, same here... The only monthly anniversary we celebrated was our six month. We went out for dinner, no presents. We usually go by our first date (celebrating the length of the relationship) rather than when we made it "official" because, yeah, neither of us remembers what day that was, and I remember our first date because it was the day before St. Patrick's Day.

 

It sounds, though, like there might be other things about him that bother you. Is it a compatibility issue? Does he make you happy in other ways? That's more important, I think, than if he remembers those dates.

 

you're right. maybe him not remembering was just an obvious excuse for me to be pissed off about something deeper. truth is, so far, we've only been doing what he wants to do, or what our friends want to do. and they're all about car racing, partying, hanging out with other people and getting high and drunk.. we hardly ever go out on a date, just me and him. no, i should correct that to Never! i'm always tagging along and he would think I'm cool with it, which I am, but he never tries to spend an alone time with me. Im a pushover not because I dont have an opinion, its because I know if I want to do some thing with him, he wouldnt want to. I'm always saying 'okay, its up to you, i dont mind anything'. I feel as though I have to be understanding all the time and put up with what he feels like doing and what I want dont matter at all... probably because he's the one behind the wheels thats why I dont want to suggest anything because I dont want to appear pushy or bossy. I honestly feel like I'm always trying to please, and that he doesnt seem to put much of an effort to make me feel happy and entertained......

[ratherbesailing]

awsome -

 

I think you are reading way too much into what's in his head. We are guys, we are terrible mind readers. Calm down and tell him that this weekend you want to do something alone with him. Don't hesitate to be specific about what you want to do. It is okay to be specific with guys, we like that and hate having to guess what you want.

 

Forget about the month anniversaries. Remind him in advance when a year rolls along. Give the poor guy a break. You said he's there for you at the important times.

[RayKay]

About the month anniversary thing..honestly, my boyfriend and I both know when we started dating, but we don't celebrate it every month! To me it seems really "young" to do, and almost is saying that we have to celebrate months as we may never have years..

 

But, your last post has me worried. Sounds like you are trying to be the "perfect complacent" girlfriend rather than stand up for yourself, and be your own person. Stop tagging along, if you never go on dates and are always tagging along, go do your OWN thing with your own friends! Have a mind of your own. In a healthy, loving relationship you don't have to be a pushover and "go along with it". Maybe though you are still very young and have some growing to do to realize whom you are, and realize that this is not what relationships are about, and being a pushover is not the key to healthy, happy partnerships.

 

Maybe you just are not compatible together either, don't force something that is not there.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

you say you go along with him because he is behind the wheel... i hope he is not driving you around when high and drinking! could be very dangerous for everyone. it also doesn't sound like much fun to date him either... following him and his buddies around while they do whatever they would do even if you weren't with him...

 

a common mistake in relationships is expecting mind reading too... you've got to tell him what you want, especially if he hurts your feelings and doesn't know why (or even notice). but if there is no real spark there, or you are constantly having to tell him what you need/want from him, then you are better off breaking it off now and finding someone who is more compatible with you.

[finewhine]

Two months is the blink of an eye! Rip that band-aid off now before it hurts worse!

[Momene]

I don't think there's any easy right or wrong here. If you are not satisfied, you should split. I've never done anything for "one month" anniversaries and neither is it common where I come from (the UK).

 

If a relationship goes a whole year, now THAT is something to celebrate. I've only ever managed it twice.