AnotherBrokenDoll Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 Ok firstly hi... lol i don't exactly post on here much but here goes. Well heres the thing, i'm a virgin and i want to keep it that way to be honest i know i'm not ready for anything really sexual yet... But at the same time i know that i don't have the courage to say know. I trust my bf alot and he told me he never wants to pressure me to do anything but i would do anything to make him happy. I don't want to be seen as the girl who won't put out. I do really like him and i really would do anything but i'm just petrified of it all... I guess its more just venting but anyone with advice please help me! Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 If you don't have the courage to say no, you need to learn it. otherwise you'll end up in therapy traumatized because your lack of boundaries...etc. Sorry. To put it another, kinder way - look at it like a test of your BF's character. If you end up in a situation where it's Keep Him OR Keep Your Virginity, you have a CLEAR indication he's trash who disrespects you and you're better off without him anyway. I promise. Staying avirgin at 15..I should flamin' well hope so! Link to comment
InaneCathode Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 If you don't have the courage to say no, you need to learn it. otherwise you'll end up in therapy traumatized because your lack of boundaries...etc. Sorry. To put it another, kinder way - look at it like a test of your BF's character. If you end up in a situation where it's Keep Him OR Keep Your Virginity, you have a CLEAR indication he's trash who disrespects you and you're better off without him anyway. I promise. Staying avirgin at 15..I should flamin' well hope so! Advocating celibacy at 15! ALS, you neo-con you! Seriously though, i second the above post. You're 15, seriously. Losing your virginity whilst very young isn't a title you'd like to have in the future. Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 InaneCathode....you always amuse me! I'd advocate celibacy as an option at any age, and I'm a rampant 18 year old. Some days I just think "ya know..I can't be bothered with all this, it's so sticky and messy anyway". I'd consider myself a neo-Marxist, but perhaps a neo-con as well. hmmm Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted November 8, 2006 Author Share Posted November 8, 2006 Thanks guyz but as i've told Antilove superstar, his not pressuring me at all. And he'd feel so horrible if he knew i was saying this, but i just i dunno. I'm just freaking out i guess never mind me. Link to comment
Weeblie Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 I don't think it's about having the courage to say no. You don't need courage for that. If it's what you believe, it should come naturally. Maybe you need to think about what you would do if the situation were to come up. You need to decide what kind of behavior is acceptable and what isn't. Once you've figured that out, keeping reminding yourself why you believe those things. That way when the situation comes up, it'll be easier to say no. And your boyfriend won't feel horrible knowing that you're not ready to have sex. Have you talked to him about this? You should really let him know how you feel about that. Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted November 8, 2006 Author Share Posted November 8, 2006 Thanks, I have talked to him in a way. He was joking around and said something about how all my friends get more then he does. I knew he was only joking but i'd had the week from hell. And i was already really touchy about that topic so i got kinda upset. I told him that i'd let him do anything and i'd never stop him cuz i don't want to disapoint him and he said that his not that sorta guy. I'm really just worrying over nothing even i can see that but... I can't help it. Link to comment
MrKadash Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 I don't want to be seen as the girl who won't put out. That should have absolutely no bearing on your decision whatsoever. How you are perceived by others as far as your feelings about sex is none of their business, except for the person you are with.... Link to comment
InaneCathode Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 InaneCathode....you always amuse me! I'd advocate celibacy as an option at any age, and I'm a rampant 18 year old. Some days I just think "ya know..I can't be bothered with all this, it's so sticky and messy anyway". I'd consider myself a neo-Marxist, but perhaps a neo-con as well. hmmm Thank god i'm a male, i don't have the blood flow to sustain concerns about cleanliness when it comes around to that <_> You neo-marxists are all the same i tell ya! Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 MrKadash i know it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks but what if his friends think he could get better... I do see how wrong i am for feeling like this but it just doesn't change that. Link to comment
MrKadash Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 MrKadash i know it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks but what if his friends think he could get better... I do see how wrong i am for feeling like this but it just doesn't change that. I hope he's smart enough not to let his friends influence him like that, inspite of the peer pressure. Hopefully he sees that you are someone to respect and wait for. Try not to worry about things you can't change. Best of luck.... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Ok firstly hi... lol i don't exactly post on here much but here goes. Well heres the thing, i'm a virgin and i want to keep it that way to be honest i know i'm not ready for anything really sexual yet... But at the same time i know that i don't have the courage to say know. I trust my bf alot and he told me he never wants to pressure me to do anything but i would do anything to make him happy. I don't want to be seen as the girl who won't put out. I do really like him and i really would do anything but i'm just petrified of it all... I guess its more just venting but anyone with advice please help me! What is wrong with being seen as the girl who acted consistently with her values and didn't want to risk pregnancy or disease at your age? Here's my take - if you are so concerned with what other people will think about your sexual experience you are too young to have sexual experiences. (i waited until I was 24 and typically my decision - when I decided to share that decision - was respected). Since age 24 I've been VERY selective about who I am intimate with and it is irrelevant what other people do. Link to comment
dragonzeyez Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Well heres the thing, i'm a virgin and i want to keep it that way to be honest i know i'm not ready for anything really sexual yet... Then do not have sex! Trust me, this is something you should wait until you are ready for. But at the same time i know that i don't have the courage to say no. Learn to say no! Or otherwise you will wake up the next morning feeling like a * * * * *, and trust me, as a guy, I can say that a lot of us actually LOVE when a girl says no because then we know our boundaries and that we have to respect her. My girlfriend one time before we had sex our first time, told me after a long makeout session that I could do whatever I want with her, I asked her if this is what she wanted, and she replied "no, but I know its what you want", and I got very mad at her for saying that, trust me, if he is a good guy he will love you for telling him you are not ready! I don't want to be seen as the girl who won't put out. Why??? I do really like him and i really would do anything but i'm just petrified of it all... I guess its more just venting but anyone with advice please help me! Exactly!! You LIKE him, not LOVE him and you are petrified, you really should wait until you feel ready and love him, that is my advice Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted November 10, 2006 Author Share Posted November 10, 2006 Thanks. You're totally right. No one else is going to respect me if i don't respect myself. I just hope i can keep that thought if anything comes up. Link to comment
QueenoftheMotN Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Good on ya girly, I was gonna say something, but you've already got some excellent advice I'm 20, still a virgin, and my bf (also 20 and ALSO an Aussie like yourself loves that about me.. *grins* w00t The best gift you can give is yourself, and you can only give that to one person. Make sure it's with someone you know will cherish you forever. If they really REALLY love you (not just like you and have fun with you) then they will realize what a gift it is, and they'll wait patiently for it. Good luck though, be strong in what you believe! Queenie! Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted November 10, 2006 Author Share Posted November 10, 2006 See thats what i want to be still a virgin until i want that to be changed not until what other people say is right. But i dunno i guess i just have to get the confidence to realise that my opinion does matter. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 You have to say "no" if you're not ready, otherwise your first experience would be something you regret instead of something wonderful. I have say I wasn't ready and he respects that, if he wouldn't then he's out the door not less than 1/2 a second. Link to comment
eriko Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 There are other avenues you can journey..you don't have to go straight to "sex" per se. You can always try out oral..BOTH WAYS.. it's so freakin good. It's a good precursor to sex, and gets each person comfortable with their bodies. Link to comment
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