Ladies; do girls really go for thin guys?

[Kevin T]

You're no fool, but neither am I.

 

Women don't want to be approached by some unattractive schmuck. It's as simple as that. It's not like I've never been sociable with women, but rather that when I have, it hasn't gone over very well (at least since I started going to this school).

 

And I'm seldomly in a good mood or happy much anymore. Why should I be? Everyone else gets to be a in relationship and happy. But I don't. Call me a whiner or whatever, but that's not fair; it sucks and I hate it. (Okay, that IS whining...) But! It's true. Why should everyone else get to be happy and not me? That isn't fair nor is it right.

 

But it's LIFE.

 

The bottomline is this: It IS my attitude (now) that is the problem. It started out with my looks, but it has since escalated to my attitude. For whatever reason (be it they find me repulsive from the get-go or my body language, facial expressions or whatever), here is the truth: No woman is going to want to be with me.

 

Even were I to change my personality and be Mr. Happy, funny, smart, charismatic guy, women still are not going to give me a chance.

 

THAT is what started this bad attitude. I don't really see how anything could change it either at this point. (It would take nothing short of a miracle at this stage.)

 

Of course, the amazing advice I'm getting is really proving useful. The same people that are telling me it's not my weight are the same ones telling me that I should see a doctor about my weight because it is unhealthy. I so love contradictory arguments. I hope none of you are ever considering law school!

[wlfpack81]

Deleted by user

[xxlilvampxx]

My boyfriend is amazingly thin... I dont mind it... BUT my ex boyfriend was like the opposite...

 

I Think i Prefer a little meat on my lad, but not to fat...

[Stinkweed]

Ok, for starters you're just ASSUMING that even if you change your attitude girls still won't like you. You've never done it, so you can't say you know this for a fact. I won't buy it.

 

Everyone else gets to be a in relationship and happy. But I don't. Call me a whiner or whatever, but that's not fair; it sucks and I hate it. (Okay, that IS whining...) But! It's true. Why should everyone else get to be happy and not me? That isn't fair nor is it right.

 

Why should your happiness depend on someone else? Why can't you just be happy by yourself? You'll NEVER be able to be in a successful relationship if you're not happy by yourself first. That is sign of weakness, and you need to fix that as well. Or not. Your choice. If you're so sure about what the answer is, why do you even care about what anyone says on this thread be it positive advice or those "you should see a dietitian" comments.

 

Women don't want to be approached by some unattractive schmuck.

 

Women will find any schmuck with courage enough to accomplish the feat I described attractive regardless what they look like. Cause well, they'll like a bold/strong man, not necessarily physically strong, but confident. I mean, man, it's like even between us guys, I'd admire anyone who takes on that challenge. It's like look at what he did, "this dude's got balls" regardless how tubby or skinny or even dorky he might look, if he made the girl giggle and all, he's the man.

[Kevin T]

I am assuming that, based on people's reactions here. I am only going by what I am given to understand.

 

As for your selfish, individualistic, egocentric rhetoric... spare me. I tire of it and it's nonsense.

 

As for approaching women, how would you know? You're a guy. I don't see any women backing up your claims. So until I do, then it's merely your opinion. And if just approaching random women worked, then why are you single? Tell me that much.

 

And you're grievously mistaken if you think that a better looking guy in contrast to an unattractive guy are on an even playing field. Look around you; they're not. I may get chided for being an idealistic, which at times, I am. Doubtless I may be a hopeless romantic, but even I know what works and what doesn't. When a woman is faced with the choice of, say a really hot guy and, say a not at all hot guy; which do you suppose she will choose? I'll give you the answer: She'll choose the first guy!

 

EDIT- Although all my points thus far do stand, I'm beating a deadhorse. Looks matter to women, but I don't think that is my problem. Despite what some of you have said about it being my problem, I doubt it actually is.

 

It's more likely that the reason why I haven't gotten anywhere is that I don't go anywhere to meet women. How am I supposed to hook up with some chick if I never go anywhere to meet them?

[vermilion]

Ah, I didn't read any posts haha.... I've seen a few thin guys I'd be interested in but overall...

 

I DO NOT LIKE THIN GUYS. I WANT A REAL MAN- BROAD SHOULDERS AND A BIT OF EXTRA FAT. PREFERABLY MUSCLES.

 

THAT IS ALL....

 

EDIT: Oh and girls like different things obviously. I have a feeling that's already been said.

 

Actually the super slim guys with tight pants seem to be the most popular accesory right now just not for me....they look so girly...

[Kevin T]

Mmm, it really hasn't been said more than once or twice.

 

But despite responses like yours, I remain by what I said. I don't really think it is my looks (despite some replies) but rather, it is my lack of going anywhere to meet women that is the main problem.

 

Or maybe it's both. It could be that I don't go anywhere to meet women, but even if I did, I probably would not get anywhere since they would not be interested anyway. That could be it.

 

Hmm, it's about even some of you hate thin guys, others like them. Guess it's inconclusive based on these answers.

 

Oh and here's a fun little piece of trivia: Go back and read my first post ever here. Shows how far I've come, huh?

[wlfpack81]

Deleted by user

[Kevin T]

*high fives wlfpack*

[vermilion]

You guys are mean. And I am skinny so I have room to say I want a guy who's healthy like me. I was just saying what I find attractive- not my "requirements". There's nothing wrong with having preferences. Maybe you thought it was rude because I capitalized it all.

 

Are you really so insecure KevinT? Everytime I see you post you're getting upset at someone because they hurt your poor feelings. Christ, grow a pair. That's probably why you can't get a date you aren't confident in yourself. It really doesn't have so much to do with how you look- yeah it's important but not everything.

[Salucious]

You guys are mean. And I am skinny so I have room to say I want a guy who's healthy like me. I was just saying what I find attractive- not my "requirements". There's nothing wrong with having preferences. Maybe you thought it was rude because I capitalized it all.

 

Are you really so insecure KevinT? Everytime I see you post you're getting upset at someone because they hurt your poor feelings. Christ, grow a pair. That's probably why you can't get a date you aren't confident in yourself. It really doesn't have so much to do with how you look- yeah it's important but not everything.

 

A little more straightforward than I would have made it, but she is right. EVERYBODY has at least some insercurities about the way they look, probably women more than men (so I've been told). Even the gorgeous girl you see on the street/in school. In fact, you might make eye contact with her in a social gathering and then just walk away. That might make her think, "why didn't he come over and talk to me, maybe I'm not pretty" But the poster above me is right, you can't let your insecurties dictate your life; believe me I used to think my height was the reason women didn't like me, you just have to get past stuff like that. There is a voice in your head that is telling you all of these negative things, tell it to shut up so you can go talk to the babe checking out your groceries or the one sitting at the coffee shop. State of mind is everything.

[rocio]

 

But despite responses like yours, I remain by what I said. I don't really think it is my looks (despite some replies) but rather, it is my lack of going anywhere to meet women that is the main problem.

 

Or maybe it's both. It could be that I don't go anywhere to meet women, but even if I did, I probably would not get anywhere since they would not be interested anyway. That could be it.

 

 

I think it's because of 2 things:

 

1. You have really high standards for how a girl looks. Which means that you have alot less women to go for, and it is also possible that alot of those women also have high standards for how a guy looks. If you're only going after women that look like models (and I'm not saying you are going that far, but...) then yeah, maybe you're not attractive enough.

 

Although look at George from Seinfeld. He's short, pudgy and bald and he gets the hottest women!

 

2. You are a bit offish with girls. You are shy, but I think it might be misinterpretted as snobbishness.

 

... Either way, I still think you're hot and sweet!

[CaptainPlanet]

"I DO NOT LIKE THIN GUYS. I WANT A REAL MAN- BROAD SHOULDERS AND A BIT OF EXTRA FAT. PREFERABLY MUSCLES.

 

THAT IS ALL...."

 

l0l thats me too a tee, lol at people not as awesome as I.

 

o damnit, I lost my entire post because I copied that. What I was meaning to say was something along the lines of, get some confidence plz, but you can't get confidence by being barrated for a lack of confidence so I say something to you that might give you confidence. That is if you're having trouble with something you should persist, thats something admiral, you should hold head up high, be happy. But if you insist on calling that rhetoric, then I must wonder why are you posting on these forums ? What do you want us to say, no, you will never find a woman because you are not pretty enough ?

 

I agree with you on some points, I do think that we are very shallow self serving creatures and attraction and love is very much a visual sensation for both sexes. However, I do not think you are right in saying that this should be your be all and end all.

 

Approaching women works because it is numbers. If you approach zero woman = o chance of success, if you approach, 500 woman = 1% chance of success. I tell you a story, I was out with friends and started talking to every chick in the bar, any girl that walked next to me I talked too her. By the end of night, I found myself talking to some stunning blonde about the stupidest rubbish. I think we spoke about nirvana and accountants. Point of story is I was so drunk I nearly fell over, as leaned forward she thought I was going in for a kiss, and kissed me right back. I could have taken her home, but i was too drunk. I got her number but never called her again. It was because my attitude was I would fail, I thought she was too good for me and never called her. My friends to this day are in disbelief of that night, the fact I picked her up and the fact I never called.

 

Point of the story is, approaching women en mass does work. It is the only proven fact when your trying to pick up women. People will tell you all sorts of theories, but omg this is the only one that actually works. If you really want to meet a girl, go somewhere where there are lots of them. Don't go with a big group, that can be intimidating. Hit on as many women as you can, if they get angry about it, they don't deserve it, they're spoiled. Do not worry about the ones that reject you in a harsh way. They are not worth your time.

 

Btw, you really need to be physically fit. It helps a lot.

[CaptainPlanet]

I also once reduced pollution down to zero.

Thanks

cp

[Salucious]

I also once reduced pollution down to zero.

Thanks

cp

 

lol, I could probably sing that whole song; is that sad? Earth! Wind! Water! Fire! Heart! lol.

[Cold]

Im a skinny/lean guy.

 

You know, sometimes i look at myself and see myself in a skinny way and feel a little embarrassed. The fact of the matter is, when i take off my shirt, i look just a decent as any other toned guy, just on a smaller scale.

 

I have a job that keeps my fit, and has put muscle on me, am i still skinny? yupp, and i still get comments on it too. My nickname at work is bones. If you work out, and dont fold like a stick when you stub your toe, it doesnt matter.

 

Recently ive been meeting tones of girls, forget the fact that your skinny, when you around girls be flattering, and funny. Act confident (keep your chest up and out, look at girls in the eyes when talking to them). Act upbeat. My date last night started with a girl i didnt know at all, we played pool with my buddy and his gf. The night ended with us on my couch snuggling and watching tv.

 

Bring up the fact your skinny yourself. Make jokes about it, show (or act) like you dont care, like its not a big deal. Because being skinny may hold you back at first, but once a girl gets to know you, the size of your arms is meaningless (atleast with the girls that are worth your time).

 

I also look wayyy young for my age, teamed up with my leaness, im an underdogg, but confidence in who i am is key. I treat girls good, i joke with them and tease. I get ragged on cause im a virgin, but i wouldnt want it any other way. Id rather be a decent person and respect myself and my other, instead of a sex-driven, sex first, relationship later individual.

[MrKadash]

I'll finally bite and chime in. I was overweight in high school and never dated. Very low self esteem, etc., you know the drill. Early twenties I lost 35lbs. and have kept it off ever since. I never had much of a problem with relationships since that time, but I'm not so sure that is the correlation. My attitude changed since my transformation, and I tend to give that reason the most credence.

[SoMuchLove]

Hi

 

I am 5'3 and I weigh in at 85 pounds as well as being 20. In short, I can pass for a 14-16 year old. Although I'm a small guy it doesn't keep females from being attracted to me.[possibly my looks and personality.. not being snooty about it or anything] People tell me I'm a joy to be around because of how I think, my positve outlook on life[although I am not overly optomistic], and my sense of humor. I suppose in some weird way, I am balanced because of this.

 

Also, I have ZERO insecurities about the way I look and am open about being a virgin[everyone was at some point right?]. Which people admire[shows confidence] because I am 100% me 100% of the time. Because of this, I am not affected about what others think/say about me.

 

It really comes down to people. If they are not attracted, they just aren't. You shouldn't have to build muscle to get them to notice you. I've been told by many I have a sexy personality[as well as appearance] so it's not all in the look. Besides, If they dont like YOU for YOU, they are NOT worth your time. Society puts so much emphasis on things like that, but once people step out of the box and look at the person, weight, height, and looks[to an extent] take the back seat. However, this will not change anytime soon.. or ever for that matter.

 

So in short, for people no matter what size or look, it's all about being patient or just playing the field until you find that someone. You are you in weight, height, etc! Do the best with what you've got!

[betrayedgirl]

I don't like SKINNY guys.. I am somewhat overweight myself and I prefer averge to a little meat on them like teddy bear. My last ex was 6'1 and 235 lbs. More to love, cuddly, etc.

[locolady]

lately every guy ive been attracted to has been really skinny - the kind of girl you surely want to be with wont make her judgments on your size, shape or looks.

 

in theory i would say i dont like skinny guys, mainly because it makes me feel fat!!! i wouldnt want to bed a man with smaller hips than me!

 

HOWEVER this is not an important factor really - and although i might wish a guy was a bit bigger, it wouldnt be enough to stop me being interested in them if they had a great personality and i loved spending time with them. i probably wouldnt notice until the relationship had got a bit further on to be honest.

[Stinkweed]

then why are you single? Tell me that much.

 

AT 185 lbs (I know I said 195 lbs up there, but I hadn't weighed myself in a while) IT'S CERTAINLY NOT BECAUSE I'M SKINNY. I never said I, myself, was good at being smooth/socially skilled. I said that I will try to do it cause I know for sure that's why I don't succeed and that maybe you had the same kinda problem.

 

It's more likely that the reason why I haven't gotten anywhere is that I don't go anywhere to meet women. How am I supposed to hook up with some chick if I never go anywhere to meet them?

 

Well certainly that is a problem you could work on, and it has nothing to do with your physique.

 

But despite responses like yours, I remain by what I said. I don't really think it is my looks (despite some replies) but rather, it is my lack of going anywhere to meet women that is the main problem.

 

I hope you're being serious, cause if you are, then I congratulate you on finding the REAL problem.

 

 

As for your selfish, individualistic, egocentric rhetoric... spare me. I tire of it and it's nonsense.

 

I never meant to attack you, so I guess I had that one coming.

 

Anyway, unless you're just being sarcastic I'm really glad you finally got to the conclusion you got (the one about you not going to enough places where you can meet girls, etc. I know I don't go to that many places where I can meet girls either, and I know I'll have to work on that myself. I mean logically, the more women you meet, the greater your chances to find one you "click" with).

[NyGentleman]

So I have been reading this post now and nodding my head bc I know exactly whats its like...i have been skinny most of my life as well...Last Summer I was at my peak of my life...I was 6'0 185lbs goin for 190lbs..This was in conjunction with working out everyday....Had an intense summer job working outside that summer and had some serious mental/emotional issues come up towards the end...Make a long story short lost significant weight and it took me almost 2yrs to put that much weight on from 155lbs when i was a bit younger...Well present day im at 170 and having one hell of a time bulking up again...but skinny or not ive had some of the hottest girlfriends you could ask for throughout my life ...they all weren't worth the effort as i know this now but you get the point...Ive never had a problem....it helps that i am a larger guy in other areas lol but thats beside the point....i think what it comes down to is personality...many girls say i have this mystery of me...i have a confidence to me as well as once great sense of humor....this all makes me that much more interesting than just looking at my body.....

 

As of now I am currently talking to one of the most beautiful girls in my school...and this one has had a history of being with the meat heads (the guys who are short and beefed out) ....I was alittle worried at first but now i realized that she likes me for my personality ...body does help bc occasionally i get the well your not big comment when talking about stuff like that which hurts bc i want to be bigger, but thats what im workin on now....

 

If i were you, and yes ive seen the many replies from others and you....i still say eat, increase your protein uptake, lift, get on a full body workout plan 3days a week, utilizing your bigger muscle groups....use some whey protein or creatine to help your performance aspects in the gym....youll see results, thats how i did it....unless you have a thyroid gland problem ,....you should be fine...remember our metabolisms slow down with age...so eventually you will start gaining....if all else fails drink alcohol on a daily basis...you will eventually get a belly and than you can work it off to some abs...

[missmebaby]

one of the biggest turn offs for me is scrawny guys. thats just me but i would much rather have a bigger guy whether he is just thick or if hes muscular.

[samantha01]

I would have to say that I also like thin guys but not muscle packages u mentioned.

[Kevin T]

Well, some of you are just plain insulting. Thank God I don't take what you people say too seriously.

 

Anyway, I can't really say it is my looks or my shyness that is the problem. It could be a combination of both, or maybe it is neither. Or maybe some combination of all of those elements together. Who knows?

 

I can't pin-point it, and I certainly can't expect people who have never met me to know. After all, if I don't know, then how can you, right?

 

I think some women will surely be turned off by how I look, and that's fine. Just as some women will be okay with it, and some will maybe even like it. It will depend on the individual, to some extent. Sure, I'd love to weigh a little more, but I am who I am. It is very unlikely that I will ever change, as this is how God made me. And for the women who don't like that; that's fine, they don't have to. Nor do I have to like them either (hell, chances are, I'd be repulsed by their appearances anyway! (It's true.)

 

But the fact of the matter is, if I don't like myself, then I might as well give up now. The same would be true were I to allow myself to believe that no (good looking) woman out there would want me. If I were to allow myself to let negative remarks and comments about myself bring me down (not only would it further lower my self-esteem), but it would make me want to completely give up. But the minute I do that, I might as well resign myself from ever finding a suitable mate, as well as from ever truly be "happy."

 

I have a problem with having to change who I am for anyone else; that includes so-called "beautiful" women. I'm not much of a people-pleaser, which means that if there happens to be a hot girl out there who doesn't like me (as I sure there will be some), then it is her loss. I'm okay with her taste. I can't let that bother me. Chances are, even if she looks great on the outside, she'll look like garbage on the inside, so it'd be a poor match anyway.

 

For the women who said they like big guys, that's fine. Go to my school (or work), etc. and you'll see LOTS of them! Take your pick! Guys like me, however, are much rarer to come by. (We tend to be pickier too.)

 

One last thing: I have good news for some of you ladies:

 

The guy in my avatar is SIN~GLE!