not sure if I need help (semi-depression-related)

[avgirl]

Hi.

 

I've been having a tough time, and I would really appreciate some advice, because I'm not sure what to do. I don't even know what to say. I just know that I've been feeling upset lately...off and on, but sometimes I just want to cry even tho I can be perfectly happy at other times, I don't know, I probably have depression. I don't even know why I'm posting here cause I'm not sure what kind of advice I'm looking for...

 

I feel stressed, I don't have motivation to do work for school, I do it & I end up getting it done but I'm not motivated, I just force myself to do it and I never do extra. I always do it at the last minute. I want to stay home and sleep but I haven't missed a day, but I want to. I don't really feel like doing anything. I'll want to do something, but then I won't. Nothing seems worth it. I don't know. I don't even know what else to say...I guess my question is...if I need help what do I do? Who do I ask? I don't want to waste money or time on a physcologist and I don't want to tell my mom...I'm not close enough to any of my "friends"...I don't even know what to do or if I should do anything.

[avgirl]

it's like I don't like how I live my life but I don't know how to fix it. Sometimes I'll feel perfectly fine, no one else seems to think I'm upset, people try to make friends with me and I'm nice to them and everything but I never go out of my way to talk to them again or whatever, even though they went out of their way to start a friendship, if that makes any sense.

 

I just want someone to help me...I don't know...

[vesper]

congratulations! you are human and you have certified 100 percent real emotions!!!!!

 

 

now go and enjoy them!

[Dako]

Depression can make you withdraw into a shell and gradually stop doing things you ususally loved. It can make everthing seem pointless.

 

You can pull yourself out somewhat by countering the urge to give up.

Being social, pushing yourself to accomplish something each day no matter how small, and immersing yourself in hobbies or other pursuits can keep you from sliding into a dark hole of misery.

 

Whether you label it depression the blues, a bad time or anything else, letting it take over is a bad idea. I know how easily I can just sit and stare into space, letting the darkness engulf me. Getting up and walking, talking and being a healthy animal makes a world of difference.

 

You could see a doc, get therapy and all that. I have, when it got seriously debilitating but learning to bail out of the sadness is a skill you can use for life.

[BYOB]

when it got seriously debilitating

It got seriously debilitating for me and I passed by the same steps as hers.

I still haven't recovered. No therapy has helped. This is some sort of critical mental illness that I don't possess and that I'm addicted to. I won't live without it even if I'm willing; because the day after I won't be willing and all of that effort will fail.

 

Someone going through these problems might give a shot, trully believe into something ideal: A time where one will be successful. And right, it's only in one's head; the key is to trust ourselves.

 

In my case, however, I am a victim of living so many things that brings me back to reality when I am in my ideology that I can't stick to my objectives.

So I fail and now I think that I will be able to get back on track only when someone will help me do the first steps. But who cares ? Plus, this is a vicious cycle. I've been running into it without knowing it for years and I have kept running in it for years when I was aware of it but never was I able to get out of that vicious cycle for good.

 

I sort of need to learn walking again.

 

Hope that doesn't frighten you too much avgirl but this situation isn't normal at all; that's all you should know. Everyone is unique and so is my case and you don't have to think it fits you.

Just continue wondering about things here and there and see if you see clear. Try new things out and benefit of all of the time you got.

 

What's a normal day for you ? ie: What do you generally do in a day ?

To answer that question as best as possible, gimme some sort of schedule.

I can really help. Just do reply.