She says its been long enough...

[dude69]

My g/f broke up with me about 5-6 months ago and ive been have NC for about 3-4 months and ever since ive started the NC ive been starting to feel ALOT better... so much better that I hardly ever think of her anymore. She is dating my best friends brother who lives about 500meters from my house which happens to be on my way to work every morning and i have to admit.. i DO usualy get a sick feeling in my gut when i pass by the house but lately the feeling has been down to about nothing.

 

Anyway, shes been sending me emails, texts messages, tried calling, messaged me on my myspance and i have been ignoring all of the messages and i havent sent her ANYTHING.

 

Anyway, just yesterday i went for lunch with my father since i havent seen im in awhile and my father said that he spoke to her and she told him to tell me that its been long enough now and that i should unblock her from everywhere and stop ignoring her and stop being a big baby.

 

I was her best friend and she was my best friend when we were in our relationship... we did everything and told everything to each other so she wants to go back to being my friend.... i honestly dont think i can have a friendship with her.... its just that i loved her so much and ive been through SO much pain and after everything she is dating my best friends brother !?!

 

What do you guys think i should do ?

[rose2summer]

Don't worry about what she thinks.

 

It's all about you right now, not her, she made the mistake, let her wallow in her sorrows.

 

Dumpers do not get dumper's priviledges, they get no priviledges, and should just be thrown out like yesterday's newspaper.

 

I am sorry she resorted to telling your dad about the NC situation.

 

But that just serves to show you how immature and unprofessional she really is.

 

Hugs, Rose

[majord23]

Do not take the 'big baby' comment personally. Your ex said that to your Father because she knew that it would get back to you...and that it would (hopefully in her mind) embarrass you into breaking NC. Her sole intention was to provoke a reaction - if she truly thought that you're a big baby, then why would she be so deperate to speak to you?

 

Stick to NC if that is what you need to do - and seeing as how you have been feeling better then I would presume that it *is* what you need to do.

Your ex needs to deal with the consequences of ending the relationship - which is not having you in her life in any capacity. I admire your strength in sticking to your guns - keep doing it.

[mykeyg]

I think you're absolutely right. About two months ago my gf broke up with me and actually said that after a few weeks we could go to lunch and the cinema and do things that friends do. It never ceases to amaze me how some people finish a relationship and accuse the other party when they don't get over it as quickly as them. Some people find it impossible to be friends with someone they loved so much and the fact that she moved on with someone you know so well obviously doesn't help the situation. NC is all well and good but I really don't believe it works too wll when you continue to see the person regularly and especially knowing her new squeeze so well. It may come accross as a little cry baby. I think you need to explain the situation, tell her that while you're managing to move on it's still difficult to see her as a friend right now since when you were together it meant so much to you. Ask her to give you some time and tell her that being such close friends again is a little further into the future for you right now, you don't have to mention your feelings about her new relationship. I think the way you're feeling makes you the better person by far. At least it shows you don't take loving relationships lightly or for granted. If she cares she'll understand but at least she'll realise she was a little unfair in jumping to the conclusion that you were just being a baby.

[Siriana]

it is not important what you ex says - she is not in your shoes. Her statement is: What do you know what you need, I know what you need!

Also, she told that to your father?! I mean really.

You are feeling great with NC, while spoiling things and going back to square one?

[Juliana]

The thing about staying friends after a breakup is, you almost have to have more respect and sensitivity for the other person's feelings after the breakup than you had during the relationship. If they don't want to talk to you, the last thing a real friend would do is force you to talk, or ridicule you for not speaking to them. If she was actually your friend, she would care about your feelings, and respect the space you need. I think she's being controlling and trying to manipulate you into getting angry enough to talk to her. What a drama queen. Keep your distance until you want to talk; if you never do, that's your right.

[crvers]

Just my two short cents but: wouldn't saying that about you make you NOT want to talk to her. When someone has decided to demote you, how could they expect you to just accept everything the way it is and allow them so quickly back into your life. I actually laughed out-loud when I read what she said.

 

Stay strong and hold your course...if you feel you want to be friends in the future it should just happen. But right now, your better off doing whats right for you regardless of her opinion.

[dude69]

thank you all for your words of encouragement..

 

name calling never really did anything to me.. i just found it funny that she went to my dad... im really close with my dad but im not influenced by him, so no matter what she does or says.. it wont change my mind.

 

I know it bugs her me not talking to her for this long, and knowing that makes me wanna keep NC.

 

Im not out to hurt her.. im just out to keep myself not depressed.

 

I can see myself in the future getting back being friends with her... but i still have alot of growing to do before that and still have quite some time before that...

 

I just wanted to make sure that what i was doing is still right because sometimes people tend to get sidetracted.. but now i know im on the right track so ill keep on it.. thanks alot guys (and girls)

[Jordan5571]

Bro, what you are doing is working, doesn't this feel like a set back in your work? You are working hard to move on. When you are ready, you will know.

 

Also, being a baby? No, it's being the better person. The better person gains his self respect back, then works on past relationships if wanted. I hope never to talk to my ex again. I loved her so much, and she broke my heart. I will never be able to have a friendship with her becuase I will never be able to cope with the fact that my 100% was not enought and becuase of that, in my mind, never will be. She shouldn't have to settle for me. I shouldnt have to settle for someone who wont love me as much as I love her. You are being the bigger man by taking care of your self so when and if you do want to chat with her, you will be able to handle it maturly and friendly. (Also, talking to your dad is a form of munipilation).

[GuitarmanIII]

Dude, NC time is all about you. You're being mature here...none of this baby talk! You need to heal. No matter how long it takes, take it. How can you be friends with someone you'd rather be dating? How can you be friends with her if you have feelings for her, and she's dating someone else?

 

As far as her wanting contact...just ignore. I'm going through the exact same thing as you right now. It's been over a month since I started NC. She has tried to contact me but I've not responded or even read the emails...It's tough as Hell...but when you're going through Hell, keep going! - W. Churchill.

 

I'm on your side!!!

 

G

[crvers]

but when you're going through Hell, keep going! - W. Churchill.G

 

 

Dude - You totally thieved that from DN...lol....