Husband doesn't wear wedding ring

[starlight]

Hi guys,

 

Hubby and I have been married for almost 9 years. For the past couple of years he hasn't worn his wedding ring. It didn't bother me at first, but for some reason it does now.

 

Does anyone else have this issue?

[southerngirl]

Why wont he wear his wedding ring?

 

Personally for my own married life, that would bother me.

[starlight]

He says that he gets little corns on his finger, and he also makes the excuse that he has to take it off when he goes to the gym because his finger swells up. Mind you he only goes to the gym once or twice a week. He also says that he finds that married women try to con onto him when they see he's married - no strings attached scenario.

[helpme2]

I would talk to him about it, see what he really says, not in passing, a real conversation.

 

That being said. I don't wear my wedding ring either, it was too small for a while, then it hurt for a while, then I lost it, then I found it, then I got a job where I couldn't wear it....then I lost it in a move, then I found it.

 

Really it's more hassle than it's worth, I know I am married, it's not like magic jewelry or anything.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

Perhaps his finger is a big "fatter" that it was when you first got married? The only reason I say that is because my dad put on significant weight over the years and was not able to wear it for a long time. It was resized twice. My dad was a beanpole when he married my mom but he was not years later. Then he had to get it resized again because he lost a lot of weight these last few years.

 

Perhaps that could be it? Other than that reason, is there anything troublesome in your marriage?

[Gold Hawk]

My dad never wore his wedding band. Except when he and mom were going somewhere special. (rarely). He said it got in the way. Dad was a mechanic.

[Shadows Light]

I rarely ever wore mine. The nature of my work dictated that I couldn't. Sometimes for safety sake they can't be worn at the work-place. And there are times I was afraid if I took them off and pocketed them... I'd lose them.

 

Rings are a symbol yes. But they arn't magic. I was hit on more by men when I was wearing a RING on my finger. hmmmmm..I wonder if I should go back to wear a ring now that I'm single (LOL).

 

My grandparents didn't wear rings... they couldn't afford them. My parents didn't wear rings due to the nature of their jobs. It would have been dangerous.

 

Nope... they are not magic.. and now that I'm sitting on the other side of the fence "Divorced" that piece of paper doesn't mean squat either. What bears weight and meaning is the covenant and the promises you make to each other.

[SquareWheel]

Some people just feel encumbered with anything on their fingers. My father never wore a wedding ring, and when I tried wearing a class ring after high school I wound up leaving it in a drawer after a month or two. Then too, some people, probably mostly guys, just aren't into jewelery.

[annie24]

what's odd is if he used to wear the ring for so many years, and has decided to stop now. kellbell's idea is possible - maybe it just doesn't fit anymore?

 

have you two had any changes in your relationship lately?

[rose2summer]

I wouldn't think it means anything negative but if it bothers you definitely bring it up.

 

I know I would be upset if my future husband didn't wear his, but it's a matter of preference.

 

My parents have been married for over 25 years and my grandparents for 75 years and no longer wear their rings but they are manual laborers so wearing rings is tough.

 

I would talk to him about it instead of fuming since it may cause more stress.

 

You can easily resize a ring, especially one without a diamond for very cheap.

 

I have resized my rings from childhood that were gifts from my grandparents, because I treasure them, just talk to a respected jeweler.

 

Hugs, Rose

[Stambler]

If he know it bothers you he should be understanding! Tell him how you feel, but don't be critical. Tell him it would mean the world to you if he had it re-sized or if he were to let you buy him a new one.

 

HE has to understnad that it is important to YOU. Remember, don't be critical, just honest. If he doesn't understand, try taking yours off and see how he likes it!

[shes2smart]

Then too, some people, probably mostly guys, just aren't into jewelery.

 

I'm one of those rare women who aren't into jewelry.

 

It's a Big Deal if I remember to wear my wedding ring. If I wear it all the time, the skin underneath it isn't happy (I'm prone to skin allergies), so I take it off every night. When I used to help my horse's trainer muck out stalls, wearing the ring while doing that would cause a sore spot and then a callous where the handle of the pitchfork had been rubbing against the base of my fingers & palm.

 

On the other hand, my husband wears his 24/7. He plays the drums. We figure that's how he managed to crack his ring. (Neither one of us likes gold, and we're both frugal to the point of being cheap, so we have sterling silver rings) He was so thrown off NOT wearing it that he krazy-glued the ring back together while waiting for a new one to be sent.

 

If it's a matter of comfort -- as other posters mentioned, if he's gained weight it may no loger fit properly -- visit a jeweler and see if they can either adjust his current ring so it fits better or perhaps look into a new ring that won't cause comfort issues.

 

In the last few years he's stopped wearing his ring, did he get a different job or start a new hobby that would require him to use his hands more? Are you having other problems in the relationship or is this the only thing?

[RayKay]

Well, I would not assume the worst off the bat, I do know plenty of people whom are married, 100% committed to their partners and don't wear rings. Sometimes due to allergies, sometimes due to the nature of their job or activities which make it a danger (either physically due to physical risk from catching it, or due to having to keep that aspect secret in their line of work - I know some police officers whom won't wear theirs as it can add risk to family if they are involved in certain lines of work).

 

Weight gain also of course would cause it to be tighter.

 

And yes, so does working out. The majority of people I train or work out with remove their rings not only because of risk to damage to ring, but it hurts when your fingers swell, or you are pressing on the weights. I can't wear any jewellery personally when I am training, and sometimes it seems like too much effort to take them on and off, worry about them when off...it's easier to just not wear any jewellery!

 

Of course, maybe it is just plain preference too not to have it on as some don't like wearing it, but does not automatically mean they are not committed...it's about the heart and state of mind, not the jewellery.

 

I really think that the not wearing of the ring in itself is not enough to prove something one way or the other, it's about the actions and reasons as a whole. If you are concerned about it meaning more...you have to talk about that deeper issue....because the ring then would just be the surface. If you are concerned about the ring thing, talk to him about how it makes you feel and see what he responds with...if it really does seem to be an issue of it being uncomfortable, and if that cannot be resolved, then it may be something you need to "let go" and decide whether it is the symbol...or the commitment that really matters? Of course if you feel the commitment is missing along with the ring...that is a whole other matter.

[kellbell]

I know my friend does not wear her ring set when she works, nor the other ring her hubby gave her for the first year wedding anniversarry (Sapphire and diamond ring no less) because she is a nurse. If I recall right, she is not even allowed to wear any kind of jewerly. I cannot be sure but I know for sure she does wear any jewerly.

[ReadyorNot]

I would be extremely angry if my husband didnt wear his wedding ring.... we have only been married for 5 months but he only takes it off to shower...... he is doing his course for his trade (Airplane Mechanic with the Canadian Forces) and he will have to start leaving it at home when they start working on aircraft... I told him though, when he comes home, that ring better go back on his finger... he loves wearing it though...

[AwdreeHpburn]

Hey there,

 

Perhaps his finger is a big "fatter" that it was when you first got married? The only reason I say that is because my dad put on significant weight over the years and was not able to wear it for a long time. It was resized twice. My dad was a beanpole when he married my mom but he was not years later. Then he had to get it resized again because he lost a lot of weight these last few years.

 

Perhaps that could be it? Other than that reason, is there anything troublesome in your marriage?

 

 

Neither me nor my husband wear our because of chubbiness.

[melrich]

Some people just feel encumbered with anything on their fingers.

 

That's me. I wore one for about 2 years but it annoyed me so much, I hated the feel of it and in the end I just said to my wife I ddin't want to wear it anymore and have never put it on since.

 

It was nothing to do with the symbolism of it, just the physical feel of wearing a ring.

[annie24]

from link removed "Dear Prudence"

 

 

 

another thing to note..... Bill Clinton wore a wedding ring his entire married life.

[BlueFire]

Strange as it may seem the use of a wedding ring by men was not common until recently. Whereas women have worn wedding rings for eons, men have not. The use of rings as a symbol of everlasting love enshrined in marriage can be traced back thousands of years. But not so much for men.[url="

It was, in fact, during the second world war that the use of wedding rings by men became more common. (Note that men's wedding rings and men's wedding bands are interchangeable, both meaning the same thing.)

It became the custom for US soldiers going to war to publicize their marital status by the wearing of a man's wedding ring. They were happy to make public their commitment to their wife by the wearing of a public symbol that declared that commitment to all. Given that this habit of wearing men's wedding bands was reasonably new it was all the more creditable that these men were willing to forego the marital obscurity available to them from not wearing a ring and actively chose to make a public statement about their choice.

Men's wedding rings have become increasingly more common since that time. Today it is probably as common for a newly married man to wear a ring as not. This may be due to several factors. The modern man may consider it his duty to choose to make the same public marital statement as his wife will. And his wife may well consider it a condition of the marriage that he do so. After all, in these days of equality, if she is prepared to make a statement then should he not do so as well?

Despite the fact that the wearing of a ring by a woman is a matter of choice, it is in fact almost obligatory due to the fact that it is so common. Many women do not even consider the possibility of not wearing one. Often, however, a man usually considers the wearing of a man wedding ring very carefully.

There are a number of issues to consider. Firstly, is he concerned about a public display of his marital status? Some men, whether rightly or wrongly, are threatened by this. Others are not in the least concerned.

Secondly whilst the wearing of jewelry by women is so common as to go unremarked that is not necessarily the case for men. For many men the wearing of men's wedding bands is just a case of being asked to wear jewelry. Men often do not feel comfortable wearing jewelry and in many cases have never done so before. Whilst some men see their wedding band as different to wearing ordinary jewelry, others feel just the same as if they were being asked to wear ear rings. "It's just not done by men". The author, for example, wears a man wedding band, but would never consider wearing any other form of jewelry.

And as many men have never worn any form of jewelry before they have no idea what it will feel like to have something permanently on the finger. Is it heavy? Does it rub? Silly as it may seem to women this can be of concern to some men.

(If this genuinely is of concern it is quite possible to find a cheap jewelry shop, buy the cheapest ring available and wear it for a while. See exactly what it feels like. And find out your size at the same time.)

Men's wedding rings are, in the eyes of some men, effeminate. "Real men" don't wear rings or jewelry at all. This is becoming less of an issue as the wearing of a man's wedding ring becomes more common, but is still an issue with many men.

Culture is also a consideration. In many cultures the wearing of wedding rings by men would never be considered. Men must think about how their particular culture, and also their religion, would view the wearing of a wedding band.

There are also practical considerations. Many men are engaged in trades where the wearing of a man wedding band would be downright dangerous. Although unlikely it is quite possible for a ring to get caught in machinery. In some jobs a ring cannot be worn on the job, and must be removed. This can also apply to women.

Ultimately though, the wearing of a men's ring is just one of the many choices the man will have to make once he makes the commitment to marry. And it is often a choice made by the couple together, maybe one of the first they make in conjunction about their wedding.

Which finger is the ring worn on, and why?

Generally a man's wedding band is worn on the ring finger, the same as for women. The ring finger, for those unmarried men not familiar with the concept, is the fourth finger of the left hand. This is considered to be the finger closest to the heart.

This notion came originally from the ancient Greeks who believed that this finger had an artery which flowed straight to the heart. Whilst anatomically incorrect this makes for good fable.

So you have both decided that he will wear a men's wedding ring!

Once the man or couple have made the decision to purchase a men's wedding ring for him there are still choices to make. Do they want to wear a matching set? Or does he prefer that his ring looks quite different to his wife's. It is perfectly possible for a couple to buy a ring set where the style of the rings match perfectly, or even with matching engraved messages of love.

Generally though, even where the couple are to wear a matching ring set, the two rings are different. It is more common for the man's wedding ring to be wider than the woman's. This is because men's hands and women's hands are different. A woman usually has narrower finer fingers, and so a narrower band suits her hand. A man on the other hand has wider chunkier fingers and so a wider man wedding band is more suited.

This often results in the mans ring costing more than the woman's ring even with matching styles, as the mans ring uses more, often expensive, material.

There are many innovative styles available now. Many men prefer a simple unadorned band, however others enjoy highly decorated styles which make a loud statement. The wearing of, for example, very wide and highly adorned Celtic rings is becoming much more common.

When considering the styles of men's wedding rings it is well worth thinking about the personality of the individual. While different men have very different personalities different rings will suit different personalities as well. A loud outgoing man, for example, can wear a loud outgoing unique men's ring.

There are many different ring materials which also reflect the personality of the individual. Titanium or Platinum are both becoming much more popular. Whilst diamonds are not, of course, as popular with men as with women, they do make a clear statement which pleases some men who choose them. Diamond men's rings clearly say "I can afford it" or at least the big ones do. But it can be a brave man who chooses to wear a large diamond band.

Ultimately there are no rules about choosing a man wedding band. It is up to either the man or the couple together to make a decision. Will he or won't he. There are a variety of considerations. First, will he wear one? Once that decision is made in the affirmative then there is a whole world of choice about styles, widths, materials and the type of statement the ring makes, both for the man and the woman.

But once he has his ring on it is rare that he decides that he doesn't like it. And even if he doesn't, it is rare that the woman will let him take it off!