my husbby talks on the phone and hang out with his female co-workers after work....

[homiegurl]

I have just finished giving birth to my son who is just 1 month and 3 weeks old. I do not know if its my "mother figure" or my current appareance that is making my husbby lies to me about his female co-workers.

 

My husband and I had a huge fight about this girl named Winnie (who interned at his workplace) 2 weeks before I went into labor. He called her a lot (although each phone call only lasted a few minutes) and he emailed her saying stuff about his likings and he wishes they can keep in touch. He got mad at me for looking through his email account and phone. I only did it is because he was acting a little weird.

 

Until now, he still talks to Winnie. He said she was hired for the weekened (my hubby works on weekend too) and then got fired recently. Now, my hubby is talking to another girl named Sara who is working on the weekend too.

 

Tonight, I missed my hubby call. When I got a chance to call him back, it went straight to voice mail. I called him 4 times.

 

 

They all went to voicemail. I automatically suspect he is talking on the phone with someone else and he is ignoring my calls.

 

I heard someone talking infront of my house so I went over to the window and looked downstair and saw my hubby is talking on the phone with someone. I didnt know why he's not coming in and continue talking on the phone instead.

 

When he finally came in to the house after being on the phone for a LONG LONG time, I asked why didnt he pick up my calls cause I needed to ask him if he wants dinner I was going to order out. He said "oh, I didnt get your calls. So many people called me, it was Sara, Mark, then my dad." I believed him but I still wasnt sure. So I looked at his phone received call list, no one called him except me and his dad which he didnt pick up. But on the dialled list, he called Sara and they were on the phone for 54 minutes. I doubt they were talking about work related subject. I think my hubby likes her eventho he told me she has a bf.

 

My hubby told me Sara is our age (early 20s), asian like us, but her bf is indian and he is 30 something. As long as she is not married, it still means her option is still open. Is it right for my hubby to talk to another like that and lies to me about it? Or am I thinking too much? Can guy and girl become friends? I dont know how to confront my hubby about this issue. He might accuse me for going through his phone. he already warned me not to look at his phone anymore when we had the big fight over him talking to Winnie on the phone so much. He might get angry at me again for my act.

 

Also, my hubby also have crazy addiction on internet porn!! I think he mastubates everynight after me and my baby went to sleep. Unfortunately, he is doing it in the same room where we sleep. I found out he even did it while taking care of our baby when I went to take a nap for the broken sleeps at nights. I am a little scared of asking him to take care of our baby alone. I dont want him to mastubate infront of my son!

 

am i thinking too much or not trusting my hubby enough? is he being too stress over our new life? he works and attend college full time. Is this just his way to escape stress? Please help me! Thanks.

[jezille]

He sounds like a sick man to me, and if he is with these young girls WATCH out, Asian girls are too loose when it comes to giving sex to other people men and they dont care if the man is married or not trust me I know this for FACT. This man is cheating on you.

[sparkle1]

I think its easy to become paranoid.

 

However, i do think he needs to understand that what he doing isn't fair. Your emotions are all over the place. thereforeeee you are more prone to feeling like this.

 

I think you have every right to tell him what is going on and explain how he is making you feel.

 

if he doesn't stop talking to these women (why is he talking to them when he should be talking to you!?) then you need to act.

 

X

[Batya33]

He sounds like a sick man to me, and if he is with these young girls WATCH out, Asian girls are too loose when it comes to giving sex to other people men and they dont care if the man is married or not trust me I know this for FACT. This man is cheating on you.

 

Really? Do you know every Asian woman ages 13 to 90 in the world? You are insulting some very dear friends of mine who would never dream of having an affair and who certainly are not promiscuous.

[ajax]

But, I just do not understand why men have to "self pleasure" themselves so much. Insist he attend counseling with you. Good Luck. I have you in my prayers.

 

I guarantee if men could have sex every night of the week with their wives they would. In most cases when men view porn and say hello to Mr. Handy they are thinking about their wives or girlfriends and wishing they could be doing what they are watching with them.

[homiegurl]

I guarantee if men could have sex every night of the week with their wives they would. In most cases when men view porn and say hello to Mr. Handy they are thinking about their wives or girlfriends and wishing they could be doing what they are watching with them.

 

Is it really what going through their minds? But why look at other naked women pictures when they have wife? I think they are just extremly obsess with boobs, butts and ummm... * * * * * * *! I just have to point out that when seeing my love one being overly obsessed with other womens bodies just make me heart broken and kill my self-esteem. It makes me feel that he is not satisfy with me, with what I have and he needs to compensate himself with pornagraphy! Isn't it true?

[New_Horizons]

Is it really what going through their minds? But why look at other naked women pictures when they have wife? I think they are just extremly obsess with boobs, butts and ummm...

 

Yes, it's what goes through some men's minds. I disagree with the poster who chastised men for masturbating. There's nothing wrong in it as it is a purely physical act and often accompanied by fantasies of their wives. But I really can't tell if your husband is such a guy. To me, it sounds like he isn't. I wouldn't go far enough to say he's sick but something's not quite right. I don't know what to say except that you have my sympathies. His obsession with the female coworkers is actually more worrisome than porn, since porn to men is just a physically pleasurable act, like eating gooey cheese pizza.

[ajax]

BTW, when I said "wishing they could be doing that with them" in "them" I mean't their wives.

[Rabican]

regardless of trust he should be spending time with his WIFE, and her newborn child.

 

He missed several of your calls because he was talking to some girl from his work, what if you had an emergency, or your baby was sick and hes ignoring your calls. I would have a serious sit down talk with him and let him know this isnt gonna fly.

 

Talking to them is one thing, but if hes hanging out with them too... id be upset if I were you.

[homiegurl]

yea.. im having serious problem trusting him. like today, he was suppose to go somewhere with his dad after work which is around 6pm. My father in law called me at 6pm and asked me to tell my hubby to call him when he got home so they can go out and do stuffs. I immediately called my hubby to find out when he is getting cause he hasn't got home yet. He told me he has to stay after work. That's ok.

 

I waited till 9pm, he still hasnt came home yet. I called, he said he is downstair, coming up now. On the phone he told me he is going to do laundry. I thought he already done doing stuffs with his dad and his dad is taking him out for laundry too. But it's not. It is SARA who is taking him out to do his laundry. When he got up, he was with a shopping bag too. HE WENT SHOPPING AFTERWORK!!! He said Sara took him to buy a jacket after staying after work late. He did not go out with his dad at all, but with Sara! I was thinking, that's why he has to stay late. He could've told me before instead of letting me know when he got home. How can I trust him? I even thought of staying work late is true at all. I said something like this to him.. "huh.. u went shopping without me!". My hubby responded with "u wanna come next time?" Then I said "never". After that, I have trouble looking into his eyes while we talk. I just dont feel easy over this. I'm avoiding have eyes contact with him because I am mad at him inside and I do not want to start up a fight with him to make myself look crazy over little things. Well, to him this shouldnt be a matter. But I feel like screaming for HELP inside!!

 

I know Sara is a very nice person to take him out to do laundry because of my hubby busy schedule with going to school and work full time. And I know my hubby is being considerate not to let me go because he thinks its dangerous going to laundramat with the baby.

 

Am I wrong for not feeling easy over this? Do you think I get jealous over things too easily?

 

I also wanted to point out my hubby starts to be very concern with the way he looks ever since I came back from the hospital. He would wanted to go shopping and order clothes online. Sometimes he even spends a long time in the bathroom fixing his hairs. He was never this concern with his look when we were dating. This is making me feel that he has some women to impress. Am I thinking too much again? *sigh* Please help me. I am so lost.

[homiegurl]

I love my baby and never want to leave him but another part of me is telling to get out there ASAP and meet a lot new people like what my hubby has been doing. I want to meet a lot of guys and have fun without him. I know its wrong for me to think like this.

[lola91306]

I can assure you he is cheating alot of what you wrote, I wnet through. My adise is to foolow your gut feeling. One morning I woke up and something iside was telling me to go to my husbands job and sure enough that woman was there talking to him I could have run my car over her's and what did my husband do? Oh he said that she owed him $20 bucks that's why she was there. When they don't pick up their cellphone they are either busy or ignoring your call sorry to be crude but I have delat with this for a while now.

[homiegurl]

Ok, it just passed 12 o'clock. So, today is our 3 years anniversary!! We have been married for 3 years. I'm hoping that one of the reason he went shopping with his female co-worker is to get me something for our anniversary. Maybe I shouldn't put my hope so high. He probably forgot its our anniversary today.

[caro33]

I am the last one to come out and say 'yeah they're cheating' when people express doubts like this, but I'm sorry, this doesn't look good. You are not overeacting, it is reasonable for you to be questioning this behaviour. I am not saying he's cheating (because how would I, or anyone else here know for sure) but he's behaving in a way that is obviously transgressing the boundaries you thought you had in your relationship. He's forming close ties with someone outside the relationship (an attractive woman no less) and he does not sound like he is prioritising his family highly enough. These are dangerous things to do.

 

If you feel up to it, you should talk about this with him. It doesn't have to be about accusing him of things, but you need to point out to him how this LOOKS.