jezille

I am trying to delete this

Chickie, Newmom Juliana and newhorizons, THANK YOU ALL very much for your encouraging and caing posts. Since there are so many questions I will lump them up here. Yes I love this man or I wont be here still. i treat this man well i do everything for him, he also does a lot for me chore wise but no sex. I was reading about men who dont get enough sleep and how this lowers your testosterone levels, since my husband rarely gets more than 2 hours sleep a night I am wondering if this may be a contributing factor? Depression? Sure I believe he has some sort of depression and does not like to talk much, what bothers him? I will never know as he has never wanted to open up, but sever since his father died his mother said he changed what she meant by that I have no clue as she herself does not like to talk too much about their lives. Binge eating? He has erratic eating patterns I usually fix what he eats but he is still gaining weight, and I also heard that men who dont sleep can gain a lot of weight and weight gain can occur from lack of sleep so I have no clue. He only eats what I give him to eat which is low carb and healthy foods but he does eat a lot of it. The reason I suspected homosexuality is this, when were were at parties several times he approached men and was doing this doggie style dancing with these people' shusbands and I didnt like it and neither did the wives, but we blew it off as drunk behavior but often wonder why he does this, is he gay trapped in that body and only comes out to do things like this if he drinks? So now I have limited alcohol in my house to only on occasion and wine to be safe. Since I made this post I tried to talk to him of course he stumbles onto the brick wall and does not wish to talk, he always seem to be TOO busy to discuss out relationship-. I told him we have to see marriage counselor he asked for what? I told him listen, if you dont I am leaving you . Well all of a sudden he gets all nice (but still no sex) so I dont know what his game is at all. Right now I am expecting my mom to come or a couple of months and I just hope he starts to act normal before she comes as I dont want her to see this kind of behavior. He goes to his office at night and spends long long long hours there until 2 and 3am then comes home and proceeds to spend another hour or two online so I dont konw what the hell this man is doing while I am sleeping. Thank you all for your replies. I hope I have covered everything

I am terribly sorry for your loss. I lost my dad last year July 4th to a massive heart attack, and yes, he was fine then BRAM he was gone my life and world has forever changed. He was the rock of the family and the backbone of my survival and strength. When he died half of me went with him. When we are that close to our parents and they go, life is forever changed, we go on but we never heal. I am truly sorry for your loss. I share your grief, even up to now I still cry at times for my father. God bless you and yours.

What does one more body help? If you love her then dont do it, it only hurts rather than cure would you want her to do this to you?

He sounds like a sick man to me, and if he is with these young girls WATCH out, Asian girls are too loose when it comes to giving sex to other people men and they dont care if the man is married or not trust me I know this for FACT. This man is cheating on you.

Oh I forgot to add this, he refuses to do something about his weight, he has been blowing up like a balloon for the past couple years and he is just simply obese in my books. While I take care of myself and eat right and exercise and maintain a small frame and size he is huge, he dresses sloppy, he will not let me give him proper foods to eat he rather eat crap. When i try to put him on a diet of some sort to lose that excess blob he just argues with me, do it your way I will do it mine. How can anybody who professes to be SOOO educated do this to themselves? He used to be an attractive man now he is simply UGLY both outside and inside, he does not seem to care. I am so fed up

Hi, read my thread in this same area, this sounds like how my husband acts and to be honest I am here for the same advice. This sounds EXACTLY like the same thing I am going thru now that bring me so much deep sadness and lonliness, I share your pains

Rubbish, workplace dating can backfire at you. Dont do it. That is NOT the only place you can meet your SO. Dont you all have friends, best place to meet people are thru other friends and someone at church, or thru business contacts, at cocktail parties, weddings, christenings etc. Workplace NOPE run fast.

This man is NOT interested in sorting out problems, he is not interested in talking anything, he is just not interested in anything but his CD's, DVD's Books that is his life, he treats those three objects with respect and love, I dare not bend a book page he becomes inflamed, or drop a CD or DVD he blows up. He is simply not interested. I asked him many times what is it he wants and why dont we separate. He does not want that, but he does not want to be with me. Sex is very important when there is no communication. If there was communication and he had indicated he has some hormonal problem that he is WILLING to seek help for then I can understand. He refuses all doctors, all help all shrinks everything medications etc. Do I have to bring a man in his house and have sex in front his face for his to buck up? He cant be happy, but he seemed an intovert, someone who hides a lot and has a lot of DARK DARK secrets. He hides everything from me. I share my whole life and family life with him, I tell him how my day was etc. He does not talk about anything. At this ponit today, I feel a bitter and hateful resent towards this man truly I do. my mom will be visiting us soon and she will spend two months: THANK GOD I WILL HAVE A FAMILIAR LOVING FACE AROUND ME. he objects to this visit but say what, i can give a rats tail becuase I am lonely and I need family I live in Europe in a NON English country and I welcome my mom, my dad passed away last year. Even that was a joke to him, he called the funeral a circus filled with crying clowns. What a monster . He seem to have no tradition, no strong family background and simply a selfish man with only his own agenda No, I cant carry on my only short life on this earth this way. I never dreamed I would marry a man who had no money, no love, dont do anything for me, dont have compassion and on topic of is Asexual. I turned down many a rich man who adored the dirt I walked on to marry this one. I would have rather been in a marriage with a wealth man who had little time for me and be this unhappy, than a poor one who has not a pot to pizz in and still be bitterly unhappy. I must have been drunk. They always say marry the ones that loves you and not the one you love. This is the end result. Sometimes I felt he married me to get to the USA, so to stop that I moved here instead. I really do not knwo what this man wants, thinks or feels. He seems a shell, an emotionless shell. He calls me stupid and how he is such an intellectual. Well an intellectual will work things out, an intellectual will seek answers, he wont lock them up. This man acts like he resents me. Living without human touch and contact when you are a warm touchy and loving woman is painful as hell.

Do not always go to a man let him come to you

He never had a high sex drive, but now it does not exist. How can a man live without sex? Especially someone like me who is always in heat and not getting any? He wont even let me have a vibrator in the house but I cant live this way. I thought mid life crisis for men they went wild and was wanting sex all the time? He hurts me emotionally by treating me this way, I have thought of taking on a lover but I just cant, just the thought of giving myself to a man for that purpose is not right with me I cant do it. He just does not seem to like me at all as a person, sort of scorns me, does not touch me at all. i have asked him to see a doctor he will not. My doctor who is our doctor told me SOMETHING IS WRONG with him that is not normal.

Hi I am new didnt see someplace to intro myself. Hi to all. I sit here this morning in tears again. Sad, lonely and all alone. I have moved to a country so far away from my friends and family and basically have no one here but this monster I am married to. Jeckel and Hyde to say the least. For more than one year now our marriage of 7 years has been heading down the tube. He does nothing to make it better but everything to ruin it. We have had sex less than 5 times for the year and it is October. I am a young woman, healthy and hormone driven. He is also young let me say early 40's both of us are. We have no children together. We are of a different culture, but culture does not have anything to do with sex. One minute this man is sweet and caring, the next he is simply a stinknig mean man whom I cannot reach or communicate with. He refuses to touch me, he thinks by staying away from me the problem will go away. His favorite thing to do it put on headphone and TUNE my existence out, when he is home WE DO NOT SPEAK, I try he just tunes me out, It is as if I CEASE TO EXIST: He has cheaterd on me prior and after my marriage with internet relationships of which i found out later one of them ended up in heavy sex witha girl who was under age I believe from Japan. He comes to bed at night around 3, 4 or 5 am, only to get back up for work at 5 or 5:30 he sleeps about 1 hour MAX a night if that much. NO HUMAN BEING CAN SURVIVE without sleep. I dont know when he leaves half the time, he used to kiss me before he left, he stopped everything, he is verbally hateful. His office is in walking distance from our home. He stays there all ungodly hours of the night into the wee morning. When he is not with me he calls me a hundred times a day WHY? WHY? WHY? Yet when he is here he ignores me totally. I SUSPECT HE MAY BE GAY? Today I called him a pedophile and he blew the roof off when I told him this. But when I say you are gay he does not get on with me, which is it pedophile or gay? HE IS SOMETHING but he is certainly not a husband or lover to me or even a friend. I cant and wont talk to friends and family about this because way back in 1998 they all told me DONT DO IT. There were times the marriage was OK, never what I expected ina marriage, but it seemed to have gotten worse. My hunch is he is GAY. I put on sexy lingerie, nice expensive perfumes I am a slim very attractive woman, I cook nice meals do everything to make a man interested in me. he is simply not even noticing the dirt I walk on. Yet when I stop speaking to him and just shut up and ignore him he comes running calling me sweetie and that. What is his trip or game? I am so fed up. NO; i cant leave as I would like to, I do not work anymore and have no money of my own and simply cant financially. If I was still back in the USA I would have filed for divorce a LONG LONG time ago. But it is not so easy here. I do still care for him, I have not stopped caring, but at this point, I honestly do not think it is the love I used to feel, it is more resent and scorn, yes scorn, to think he may be GAY and sleeping with men. He is getting his SEX from someplace, no young man can just not have sex for all this time and be normal. HELP ME PLEASE I am distraught