Why Bother?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I'm sitting here on a so-so morning in college. I have a cold, the start of a migraine, and my visual problems are playing up.

 

I'm cheesed off.

 

And I'm also somewhat alarmed by the level of apathy I am currently experiencing.

 

But that isn't what this post is about. This is an AntiLove Rant.

 

I had a brief moment of revelation yesterday as to one of the several reasons why I hate mass media so much. It is this:

 

-We are constantly bombarded with *fit/hot/gorgeous* women, and many magazines will actually use something like "100 SEXIEST WOMEN IN THE WORLD, EVER...NAKED!!!" as a cover line. All the time. And it makes me wonder - why should I even bother? It gives the message that

 

"well, your pertner IS with you, but they'd obviously MUCH rather be with one of THESE women, look how divine they are! It's all about your body! If they COULD, they'd be with them, not you. You are inadequate, you snivelling pathetic little girl."-

 

I almost feel sorry for my boyfriend now. It's unfair he doesn't get access to all these amazing women. Airbrushed or not, they are still amazing. We all know it. I feel ill.

 

Is it wrong that all it takes to make me cry is to see a magazine stand?

 

That on bad days, I can be made to physically retch?

 

heh.

 

Have a good day, all.

[g44]

isn't there a difference between a magazine and a real person. i don't see how one could confuse the two. say, u found richard gere attaractive, more so than hubby - do u think hubby thinks u are going to run off and bonk sir richard? plus, i think everyone relaizes that the image portrayed in magazines etc. is so far from real life that maybe its actually grotesque!

 

just a thought

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

No, I mean...well obviously he wouldn't think I was going to have sex with someone famous I found attractive.

 

What I mean is it's more the MESSAGE that it sends out, saying that I'm inadequate and although my boyfriend may not be able to/going to sleep with anyone else, such things tell me he probably would over me, it's just lucky for me he doesn't have the chance, and I'll never be as good as..well, anything, really.

[FortunateOne]

Most people are either too shallow to see it or to self centered to care. I call it the bovinity of mankind. People don't seem to think about the manipulation, aka marketing, of the people. On the flip side we need to have easily infuenced people in order to maintain the economic drive that benefits us all.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I've been really screwed up over this. I don't buy any magazines or anything relating to pop culture/ typical media rubbish, I avoid trashy TV, and I try and choose *deep people* to hang out with.

 

Yet I STILL cry regularly over my own ugliness, how I HATE the nasty manipulation of .. etc

[Momene]

If that's you in the picture, you're not ugly or inadequate. For my personal taste, you're at least 12 years too young but you'd probably say I was at least 25 years too old for your taste.

 

As I've said, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and there's lots of girls who don't fit the "classic beauty" mould that I find very attractive and it's not just looks that come into it. I've met unspectacular looking girls that have become attractive within minutes because of some sort of spark and I've seen stunners turn ugly by their attitude.

 

If your boyfriend would really rather be with a girl in a glossy magazine, then good luck to him.

[HappyKat]

AntiLove, first let me say this: I find you quite attractive! (Assuming your avatar is a picture of you) At the same time, I have similar feelings of...well, self-disenchantment...so I presume my compliment to you may not be received as heartily as it was meant. Too bad, really, because I'm not just saying it to 'make you feel better' as you might suppose. (As we do when we feel this way about ourselves--Have I touched that nerve?)

 

Anyway, I also have similar feelings of disgust regarding mass-media's objectification of EVERYthing--women and sex being at the top of the list, of course--it seems anything from state-of-mind to standard-of-living is "For Sale!" I could puke when I consider the possibilities.

 

Knowing there are folks who allow their preferences and opinions to be spoon-fed them by advertising and daily news, also turns my guts. I prefer to believe these folks are truly a tiny minority, but you've got to wonder sometimes, eh?

 

So, sorry to not offer much hope for solution; but please know you're not the only one who finds such unobtainable, idealistic crap contemptible.

 

One last thing--I'm sure your boyfriend has his reasons to be with you, so BELIEVE HIM when he tells you how wonderful you truly are, OK?

 

Hope you feel better soon.

[lunatic]

Yet I STILL cry regularly over my own ugliness

 

 

^^^^ Are you kidding with this statement? I find you very attractive and as the last poster stated I am not saying this to make you feel better. Your boyfriend is with you because you are an attractive person in the flesh. Please just enjoy life as you are because your an attractive young lady who does not need to worry herself about trivial things like this.

[Iggy5129]

One thing you probably have that they don't is PERSONALITY. This is very important and factors into someone's attractiveness. Also, I bet every one of those girls you see is just as insecure as you are, most girls are insecure. They crave the attention from the camera to make them feel better about themselves.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

Anti love-

 

have you ever met someone that you thought was so-so attractive...but then you got to know their personality and then you started to notice how attractive they are? or the reverse...saw someone you thought was soooo attractive and got to know them and then they weren't so attractive anymore.

 

being attractive isn't just about looks and you can't compare yourself to what you see on the covers of magazines... they have a little thing called, make up artist, trainers, and AIR BRUSHING.

 

I have read some of your post and while you outer beauty shines through in your picture.... your inner beauty comes through your posts...and that makes you very attractive.

[ImThatGirl]

Anti-Love,

 

I understand how you're feeling. I too, worry lots about everything though. But one thing I worry about is, that I don't fit the perfect, high maintenance, beautiful, perfect girl look that's going these days.... Around here, it's not just on the magazines. There are so many woman that just look so perfect. I try to look nice but don't have the money, time, or means to have that 100% unflawed look.

 

My boyfriend makes it clear that he is with me and cares about me for many reasons - he cares more about my personality, my stability, my strength, my lifestyle, and then my looks *I think.* Which is great. But I still find myself thinking - what if I'm not beautiful enough? What if, what if, what if? Is that really fair to him. Ha. Round and round thoughts until shove the worry and thoughts away.

 

Remember why he loves you. The relationship you have together. And stop being so hard on yourself! Try to do something nice for yourself, something that will boost your self esteem and confidence. You are beautiful - your physical looks and your personality. You have so much more than any of those woman could possibly have!

[engagedkitty]

I've been really screwed up over this. I don't buy any magazines or anything relating to pop culture/ typical media rubbish, I avoid trashy TV, and I try and choose *deep people* to hang out with.

 

Yet I STILL cry regularly over my own ugliness, how I HATE the nasty manipulation of .. etc

 

 

Oh, come on girl, you're not ugly. You have gorgeous lips (move over Angelina Jolie) for starters. But I do understand where you are coming from. People find me attractive but I still feel (as many females likely do) inadequate in the face of all the magazines and television programs dedicated to "the world's sexiest, hottest, and most beautiful women." There's no solution or advice I can give, but all I can say is I commiserate and empthasise.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I'm just going to distract myself now, remaining thankful for all your compassionate responses.

 

huzzzzzzzzah. and thank you all very much, as ever.