Lazy guys???

[Yvette84]

Hey, So I have a question for all you girls with lazy, proscratinating, unmotivated boyfriends. Mine seems to be one too! it is SO annoying! is it a thing that changes with maturity???? (I hope so!) or do any of you have tips on how to deal with this???? thanx

[Beec]

It might change, but your complaining is probablyt not going to motivate him. When he is not lazy, appreciate it. When he is, be a little aloof.

[Yvette84]

It might change, but your complaining is probablyt not going to motivate him. When he is not lazy, appreciate it. When he is, be a little aloof.

it's really hard to not be a nag with him! I don't want to have to feel like i'm his mother ya know? I've talked to him about it, and still...

[ElektraHere]

Hun,

 

They DO NOT CHANGE!!! So you better really like this guy if he's moving all his cookies over to you. Time to start reconsidering your options..

[yeawutever]

Myabe he might change, but don't wait too wait. If he doesn't change nor shpws any motivation, drop him.

[tylercdurden2004]

Hun,

 

They DO NOT CHANGE!!! So you better really like this guy if he's moving all his cookies over to you. Time to start reconsidering your options..

 

Lazy unmotivated people dont really change. I came to this stunning conclusion the other day. Think about it:

 

CHANGE TAKES EFFORT AND IF YOU ARE LAZY AND UNMOTIVATED WHAT ARE THE CHANCES YOU WILL MAKE THE EFFORT TO CHANGE???????

[Lady Bugg]

Sure Yvette.....it's easy.....find another MOTIVATED, NONLAZY boyfriend that you don't HAVE to nag

[redrose85]

oh my god, they really don't change as they get older?? I have the same problem, but sometimes I think it's just me being a princess. Like today, he drove me all around town to help get my errands done, pick up some furniture, etc... and he even bought new clothes so he would look nice for the wedding we are going to this weekend (he is kinda broke after last weekend, and HATES shopping) then he found a video game he really wanted, and he's been playing it since.... 5 PM. It's now 11 PM. I went for a walk, made dinner, etc in that timeframe. I was pissy when I went for my walk because he didn't want to go with me, but then I realized that he's excited about his new game, he just spent a long boring day doing my errands, and wants to relax and have time to himself, much like I do from time to time. I dunno... I think with guys, you have to pick your battles, much like with children

[candy604]

lazy as in how?

[shes2smart]

Well, from what I've seen in my own life, it's not a good sign if you start feeling like his mother. When my previous relationships started feeling like that, it was usually the start of a downhill slide that resulted in a break-up. If I wanted to be a mom, I'd have given birth....but I haven't had any children (by choice), so what does that tell you?

 

Nagging doesn't work. It only serves to make both of you feel like crap. Sometimes you have to learn to bite your tongue and let someone deal with the consequences of their actions....or inaction, as the case may be.

 

If you don't want to feel like his mother, then don't treat him like a child.

[Scotcha]

I've never been attracted to lazy, unmotivated people and so I've never had this problem. From what I've seen though, there is little chance for change unless someone wants to.

[Jayar]

Okay wait... Is this the same guy that is moving/has moved to be with you from an online relationship or am I confusing you with another poster??? If this is you, then sorry to say but this is just reality rearing it's ugly head, and it may be time to move on to someone you can get to know locally.

 

Oh, and if I confused you with another poster I'm sorry. But in either case, he won't change.

[Yvette84]

Okay wait... Is this the same guy that is moving/has moved to be with you from an online relationship or am I confusing you with another poster??? If this is you, then sorry to say but this is just reality rearing it's ugly head, and it may be time to move on to someone you can get to know locally.

 

Oh, and if I confused you with another poster I'm sorry. But in either case, he won't change.

Yes that is me. I love him and want him here and he really wants to be here too, but he is being lazy abut getting here! he's supposed to find a job to get enough money to move here and he keeps saying "'ll go tomorrow" and NEVER DOES! when I ask him what he did, he says he played video games w/his friend all day!!! then I get mad and then he gets mad at me for nagging him, But it makes no sense!! he really wants to come (I mean moving accross the country is a BIG deal!) but he's sooo friggin lazy! that it will probably take forever and i'm losing my paitence!

[ElektraHere]

If he REALLY wanted to be there he would be moving heaven and earth to be there. Unfortunatley he is fine where he is. One thing I hope you DONT do is give him money to help move him out.

 

I would say that this is a BIG sign to what is coming. Do you really want someone who takes no initiative and plays videos rather than getting a job. Once a lazybones always a lazybones. I take it things aren't that bad for him where he is at.

[shes2smart]

Yes that is me. I love him and want him here and he really wants to be here too, but he is being lazy abut getting here! he's supposed to find a job to get enough money to move here and he keeps saying "'ll go tomorrow" and NEVER DOES! when I ask him what he did, he says he played video games w/his friend all day!!! then I get mad and then he gets mad at me for nagging him, But it makes no sense!! he really wants to come (I mean moving accross the country is a BIG deal!) but he's sooo friggin lazy! that it will probably take forever and i'm losing my paitence!

 

This guy's words and actions ARE NOT matching up. That's not a good thing. It's been my observation that, most of the time, people find a way to do the things they really want to do. They make the time for it, they put forth the effort, and they push through any fears they may have about moving forward.

 

For your own peace of mind, don't bring up the subject again. Let it go. It's not your job to remind him he needs to have some income if he really wants to move where you are. Even if you were able to "successfully" nag him to get off his butt and move, can't you see where that's likely to get thrown back in your face if things don't go well once he's there? Not a situation I'd want to put myself in....then again, I'm not a big fan of LDR's, so it's my thought you'd likely be better off with someone local anyway.